Asking for advise for my coworker....

[purplerose23]

My coworker Noni just discovered she is 7 weeks pregnant. She feels resentful and upset over the illness, tiredness and all the "downfalls" associated with pregnancy. She states her mother is excited for her, but she cannot be. She says she knows she should be delighted and happy with the "upsides" to her condition, but she cannot seem to catch the joy. What I was wondering and did mention to her that she may be suffering from a condition similar to post-pardum but maybe labeled, "PRE-Pardum"? Anyone heard of something like this? What could she do to help it?

[Out2Lunch]

I haven't heard of anything like that, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist....Just wondering, is she just in shock of being pregnant, do you think? Is she married/in a relationship...if not, maybe she is just scared?

With my 3rd, he was a TOTAL shock and it took a while to be happy about it, so I think some of those feelings are normal to an extent.

[purplerose23]

Yes she is married, newly married this past August. I am not sure what could be causing this, but it was a "educated guess" I was hoping maybe this existed, but was very uncertain.

[MsLynn]

I know alot of people that go through this. I think its normal to some extent, especially if they aren't sure what to expect with a pregnancy, and some have it much worse than others.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/refcap/539921.html

Signs of depression
Pregnancy can be a cheerful time, but not always, and not for every woman. At least 10 per cent of pregnant women suffer from bouts of depression. We may try to gloss over these feelings as we've always been led to believe that pregnancy should be a time of joy, or perhaps we chalk our sadness up to the usual moodiness that comes with pregnancy. But depression can become a severe problem for some women.

You may be suffering from depression if you feel some of the following symptoms:

• Inability to concentrate


• Anxiety


• Extreme irritability


• Sleep problems


• Extreme or unending fatigue


• A desire to eat all the time or not wanting to eat at all


• A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun any more


• Persistent sadness.


What causes it
Sometimes, pregnancy hormones - which are raging as your body prepares for its nine-month odyssey - are to blame, some experts believe. While hormonal ups and downs affect all pregnant women, some feel the swings more intensely.

Another major cause of depression is relationship difficulties - especially if you aren't getting along well with your partner.

Other causes:

* Family or personal history of depression
If depression runs in your family, or if you have had past bouts yourself, you may be more likely to become depressed now that you're expecting.

* Stressful life events
Are you moving to a bigger home in anticipation of your baby's arrival? Are you having trouble at work? Any major life change such as a move, divorce, or job loss, can cause depression.

* Problems with the pregnancy
A troubled pregnancy - one that causes severe morning sickness, for example - can take its emotional toll.

[Out2Lunch]

Thank you MsLynn!! Hopefully that will help her out!

I hope your friend gets to feeling better soon. I am dealing with post pardum depression, so I know it is no fun to be depressed. :(

[tammy77]

I hope this doesnt sound rude but maybe you should tell her that its a true blessing to be able to become pregnant.There is a lot of people who suffer from infertility or who can never have children who would do anything to be in her shoes,myself included.We have been trying for 3 and a half years and I would do anything to be able to become pregnant.

[purplerose23]

I hear you, Tammy....I am wanting one too, but just am awaiting that right moment, a year and counting. I wish I could just tell Noni more.........but I did advise her I am sure its the time to get used to the fact, and all women are different at this time in life. I told her I am sure she will be ok once she sees that little one in front of her. :)

[ahippiechic]

Finding out they're pregnant isn't always a blessing to everyone. But sometimes feelings change after you get used to the idea and have some time to think about it. I hope everything works out for her.

[Chiizii]

As a mother of four, I can honestly say that during the first months of my pregnancies I was not always "filled with joy and thrilled". I was tired, sick and angry at those who made me feel like there was something wrong with me because I wasn't thrilled with first months of the nine month adventure. In fact during a couple of my pregnancies I was very scared. I lost two babies, one a first trimester miscarriage and my son was born prematurely and passed away shortly after his birth.


The following is an opinion and I don't expect anyone to agree with it.
I think too much is made out of the joy of nine months of pregnancy. Pregnancy and childbirth are dangerous times for the child and the women, even in our modern times. I think the real thrill and joy is after the child is born and you watch them grow into their adult lives.

[luvangel72]

This happened to me during my 2nd pregnancy. I felt like there was something wrong with me that I wasn't happy over my pregnancy. I kept it to myself because I didn't want people to think I was a terrible mother! It took me until about the 5th month when I started feeling her move around all the time that I felt a conection and started getting excited. I wish I had had the courage to talk about it and see that I wasn't alone. Your friend had the courage to talk about it. I'm sure her ob doctor can give her some great info and advice and lead her in the direction of some help! Good luck to her congrats on the wonderful gift she will cherish so much once she is feeling better!

[TxGreek]

I hope this doesnt sound rude but maybe you should tell her that its a true blessing to be able to become pregnant.There is a lot of people who suffer from infertility or who can never have children who would do anything to be in her shoes,myself included.We have been trying for 3 and a half years and I would do anything to be able to become pregnant.

You act as if she WANTS to be depressed. People who suffer from depression have chemical imbalances and can't control how they feel.
Just because she's depressed, doesn't mean she doesn't want the baby or is ungrateful.

You think people with postpartum depression can turn the sadness off and on when they want to? Do you think they're being ungrateful because they can't control how they feel??

Your post just rubs me the wrong way. Until you DO become pregnant or suffer from depression, don't assume you know how either feels. :rolleyes:

[TxGreek]

My coworker Noni just discovered she is 7 weeks pregnant. She feels resentful and upset over the illness, tiredness and all the "downfalls" associated with pregnancy. She states her mother is excited for her, but she cannot be. She says she knows she should be delighted and happy with the "upsides" to her condition, but she cannot seem to catch the joy. What I was wondering and did mention to her that she may be suffering from a condition similar to post-pardum but maybe labeled, "PRE-Pardum"? Anyone heard of something like this? What could she do to help it?

Personally, I think this is normal, but I would definitely recommend that she tell her doctor or else it could get worse.
(((Hugs))) to your friend and (((hugs))) to you for being there for her. I think the comfort you're providing her is great.

[kyswpgrl]

I hope this doesnt sound rude but maybe you should tell her that its a true blessing to be able to become pregnant.

Without going into details, I can personally tell you it's NOT always a blessing.

I agree with others that this is normal, although not everyone experiences it. When you spent the majority of the first half of your pregnancy being tired and sick, it drags you down. I know I never felt like doing anything during either of my pregnancies I carried to term and wasn't exactly thrilled with all the side effects.