got even

[sahmsfreeb]

after years of dh treating me like crap...treating me like i am a kid... talking dowm to me.. (he has neaver beaten me)
i caught him red handed with porn.. again.. after he swore no more...

im hurt because it was hidden. im not his mom. hes over 18. apparently everytime i have health issues (i am currently dealing with hashimotos) and/or pregnacy he finds it necessary to download porn. which i dont like because we have kids who use the computer!

so in a nut shell i told him im not mad. i dont care. then i proceeded to tell him that i posted amature pictures of myself on the net. he nearly cried.


oh well.... men think that it is a victomless activity...
finally i feel better.

[buttrfli]

make the computer password protected and don't tell him LOL

[hblueeyes]

after years of dh treating me like crap...treating me like i am a kid... talking dowm to me.. (he has neaver beaten me)

You are still in an abusive marriage none the less. But that is your business. I could care less about porn, maybe that is why my hubby isn't interested. Men are alot like little kids. Things that are forbidden are the things they want to do.

Me :p

[bribella]

sorry you are having problems. i dont mind if my hubby looks at porn better to look than to touch imo.

[tommyjo]

sorry you are having problems. i dont mind if my hubby looks at porn better to look than to touch imo.

ITA, my daughter has a MAJOR problem with her hubby looking at porn, and I dont understand it, I have never had a prob with it, so cant see her side when she comes crying to me...JMHO

[tommyjo]

sorry you are having problems. i dont mind if my hubby looks at porn better to look than to touch imo.

ITA, my daughter has a MAJOR problem with her hubby looking at porn, and I dont understand it, I have never had a prob with it, so cant see her side when she comes crying to me...JMHO


But.. I can say GOOD FOR YOU if you lied to him, but if you told him the truth and ya did "put pix on the net" then ummmmm..no comment.

[sahmsfreeb]

ITA, my daughter has a MAJOR problem with her hubby looking at porn, and I dont understand it, I have never had a prob with it, so cant see her side when she comes crying to me...JMHO


But.. I can say GOOD FOR YOU if you lied to him, but if you told him the truth and ya did "put pix on the net" then ummmmm..no comment.


of course i didnt really put my pict up... but i told him that all those women are someones wife daughter etc...

i dont have a problem with the porn. i had the problem with him hiding it from me. apparently he felt viewing it was wrong.
years ago i would have been hurt... it feels like you have been cheated on. it distrupts your trust in your spouse.

it finally hit him just moments ago... he hasnt respected me at all over the years... not on purpose... just took me for granted... hes hurting now... and yes im hurting for hurting him...
revenge sux... but i didnt do it for revenge. i did it to teach a lesson...

im a shmuck...

[Kyla Kym]

NO WAY ARE YOU A SMUCK!!!! Standing up for how you truly feel about something by not just taking it and learning to live with it, makes you pretty darn cool in my books! :D I wish more woman wouldn't let men shame them into feeling like they are being stupid when "he" wants to look at other naked women. It isn't right for them to do that. He married you and when he did, that is when he is suppose to give up wanting to look at other women. If they still want to look then they shouldn't get married, because that means they are just still wanting to lust after others.

My husband and I have been married for 23 years and he is a wonderful, loving man. We both agreed when we got married that we wouldn't do that, and we haven't. We are still like newlyweds in the bedroom, and I think it's because we have kept our relationship pure.

(((HUGS))) and don't let anyone make you feel ashamed for what you did. I don't blame you one bit. And I have to say that I got a big kick out of reading your post! :D

[tommyjo]

Sorry for the double post before, but no you are not a smuchk, you are a woman like my daughter, it bothers her so he should not do it, but he does so he tries to hide it, it is a no win situation, he is gonna do it, so in my opinion...let him and offer to look with him..again..JMHO..makes them think twice...


BTW am 54....3rd marriage..28 years last month

[Bliss]

he nearly cried.


LOL - To bad he didn't cry. :p

[Shann]

I am glad you hurt him.. although I cannot understand why you are still with him. The way you say he treats you is ridiculous whether or not you have kids with him you do not deserve that. BUT That is your business not mine... just glad i'm not in your shoes. Hope things go better for you now.

[callsheb]

I look at it if he is hiding to look at porn what else would or is he hiding about. I would not mind if dh looked at porn like a another messager at least he only looking not touching but i would ask to look with him. Good for you in what you did maybe it will make him think but you never know.
Guess i am one of the lucky ones cause my dh has no reason to look at porn after 20yrs we still make each other happy and neither of us have to wonder or look at others.

[janelle]

IMO, why don't you ask your hubby to look at "erotica" with you and not porn by himself.

From what I have seen of porn lately it is down right nasty and humiliating to women. Calling them names and telling them how to pose with a %^%$%^ behind it. Who wants to see or hear that trash? Even good men would find that repulsive.

Women and men are different in the fact that women like erotica with all the nice feelings and sweet talk that goes with it. Men can get turned on with the trash but it's not good for a marriage, explain that to him.

There is nothing lonlier than one spouse in front of the computer oggling a woman in all kinds of kinky positions and not wanting to come to bed to be with his flesh and blood wife. How weird.

There are good erotica movies out there with a good story. Tell da hubby you are willing to watch that with him and the two of you can enjoy it together. And don't worry about it. Even a priest told me it's ok for a marriage if it's done together to the mutual satisfaction of both partners. This way no one feels like they are cheating or being cheated on.

If your hubby still wants to engage in it with you out of the room then I don't know what to tell you except maybe he needs sex counseling. If you can't love the one you are with---commited to---than you need help.

[Johnslambchop]

Okay - I feel the need to speak my mind here. Please know that I'm saying this because I care and that I have been in your place --

First you say that your husband has been treating you like crap -- why are you still there? YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES YOU!




As far as the porn goes - the fact that he hides it from you and lies to you about it means that it is symptom of a much deeper issue.

I say this as my soon to be exhusband was downloading porn, waiting until I went to bed, take out the old laptop and look at porn. He lied about multiple times even after I found the cr@p. The big problem is that he is LYING to you about it and making promises to you that he isn't intending to keep. YOU DESERVE BETTER. In my case, the porn meant that he wasn't interested in my anymore then went on to have affairs behind my back. (I have since left his sorry @$$ ).

When you say he is doing to while you are pregnancy or due to your health issues, do you see that you are making excuses for him? Don't make excuses for him -- yes, some couples enjoy watching erotica together, but when it becomes something that he does alone and lies to you about -- it is not a good thing.

You need to realize that you are a wonderful deserving person who DESERVES to be with someone who appreciates who you are and who will be honest with you and treat you with respect.

JMO

I hope everything works out -- Just remember that life is there for living, not for feeling like crap. ((((((Hugs)))))

[catssass]

You said he does it when you have "health" issues...maybe, its just that he needs some "help" to ummmm "relieve" himself and nothing more than that and that he might be embarrassed to explain it to you....

....and ITA with the other poster, get some steamy erotica and enjoy it together...