I just don't understand my sister (could get long LOL!)

[bribella]

I just need to vent so sorry if I dont make sense lol!
Okay where o' where to begin?

I have twin 19 yr old sisters and 1 of them lives with my mother. She had a baby at 18 with a(supposed) illegal mexican (claimed she didnt know she could get pg from having sex. umm ok) She moved out of my mom's place and in with the father of her son. He was abusive and my mom convinced her to move back home.

She moves back home and shortly thereafter moves in with her new boyfriend and lives in his mom's basement until her new boy friend beats her up and she goes crying back to my mom.Mom lets her move back in.

My mother is pretty much raising her grandson because my sister is too lazy to do it.

She was getting welfare and then when they required she go to job training classes to better herself she decides to drop out of the welfare to work program.

She receives $350 a month in child support(which leads me to think the baby's daddy is not illegal like her and my mother say) and she blows it on tattoos and clothes for herself. Has to beg my mom for diaper money.

She has said that she does not want to be a mom but doesn't want to give up the child support she gets. I have told her several times that child support money is not hers to go blow on tattoos and crap. It is to take care of my nephew. And if she didnt want to be a mom she should have kept her legs closed.

She says she loves him yet when he wakes up in the morning and she is to tired to get up with him she will put him in my mom's room or just put him outside their room and go back to bed! He is 1 at that age they get into all kinds of stuff that could hurt them!

She "forgets" to feed him if my mom is gone. Doesn't change his diaper often enough, doesnt teach him things, pays no attention to him except when he is getting into something. So he has caught onto that and does stuff like that to get her attention..... any attention is attention.

It makes me so sad. My mom provides the majority of his care it's only when my sister IS with him. My mother has reported her to DSHS and they investigated and my sister had to go to parenting classes but obviously she wasn;t paying attention just like she didn't pay attention in sex ed.

My mother and I think it might be better for my nephew if my sister gave him over to my mom to take care of until she pulls her head out of her butt.

But then again that may never happen she goes with any male that looks her way. Very poor self esteem. No self respect what so ever.

I get upset that my mom puts up with her being like that. I will call over there around 11 am and ask my mom what she is doing and she says watching "alex" and I ask where my sister is and my mom tells me " upstairs sleeping"

WAKE HER BUTT UP !!!!!!

But she puts up with it I guess because she doesnt want my sister to get mad and take my nephew and leave and then she worries that he is being neglected.

I just want to scream at my sister and shake her!! What is wrong with her? If she doesn't want to take care of him why won't she give him to someone who will?

IMO if she loved him she would take good care of him.

That's all sorry to ramble.

[tammy77]

My heart goes out to that little boy.Some people should never have children.When woman who are like your sister has a child its the poor child that will suffer in the end.I really think your mom should look into how to go about adopting the little boy and do whatever she has to to get him.

[crystalbug]

I feel for you my sister was the same way with her oldest son, My parents kept him and we as a family raised him, he had a bone disease and had to wear a leg brace for a year but she was never around, now he is 24 years old and has a family of his own, he works every day and has never done drugs or drank, our family was truly blessed when he turned out so well, the kid is more like my own than my nephew, I know your frustration but if at all possible try to make that little boys youth as good as it can be, take him to zoos the fair,trick or treating, because he is worth it. My sister is still in total denial she will even brag on her son, it makes me mad when she acts like his success was all her doing but I guess after all these years she still cannot grasp reality, I love my sister, it just took her about 20 years to grow up and realize what she had. I shudder to think what could have happened to my nephew if our family hadnt banded together and raised him. That little boy will never forget what your mother is doing for him . You cannot ever replace their mother but you can make like a little easier for them. Good luck with your nephew maybe it wont take your sister as long to grow up as it did mine.

[lassss]

I can see where you are frustrated. but on the other hand, God knows what could happen to that little boy if your sister left and she neglected him.

Sound like your mother is between a rock and a hard place. She could demand your sister sleep normal hours and make her watch her own kid, charge rent, etc but in doing that, your sister might say screw that and leave and then your mother will worry about your nephew.

[hblueeyes]

Your Mom should start documenting what is going on and then seek custody and the child support would then go to your Mom so she could raise her Grandson properly. Then your sis would have no say. People can only treat you and get away with what you allow them to and if your Mom is willing to put up with it, then that is fine but under NO circumstance should it interfer with that little boy.

Good luck. Maybe it is time you stepped in and tell your Mom to smell the coffee.

Me :p

[Tasha405]

My little sister is like that in ways. She has a little boy who is 5 and guess who has him? My Mom. My mom has had him for the past 2 years or so. She sends him to school and he will go see his mom on the weekends from time to time. My mom just told her that she could either sign over her rights until she got on her feet and settled down or she would take her to court, prove her unfit and get full custody of him.

My mom felt she had no other choice but do her that way though. My sister has a problem staying put for a long period of time. She just up and runs to a different man whenever she feels the need to and we wouldn't know where she was at with her son, who she was with or anything else. My mom got fed up quick and finally stepped in. But my mom was always the one to buy everything he needed, including his baby milk, baby food, clothes, diapers and everything else anyway. When my sister did have him she didn't pay much attention to him and lay and sleep all day while he was up running around the house.

Its a tough situation but maybe your mom will have to do the same thing to your sister until she gets her life in order. My sister seems to have calmed down the past few months and is now back with her husband. Maybe she finally seen that she wasn't being too good of a mother and wife and decided to change her ways, who knows. lol I hope it all works out ok for yall and your sister snaps out of it soon.

[SLance68]

Your Mom should start documenting what is going on and then seek custody and the child support would then go to your Mom so she could raise her Grandson properly. Then your sis would have no say.

Your SISTER could also be required to pay child support as well as the father.

[Freebeemom]

Has your sister been in therapy? Sounds to me like she is a potential hazard to herself and the baby. JMO though. I would be mad as well!

[bribella]

Well I guess according to my mother she is currently on some type of anti deppresant medication. I would take him but honestly I have 3 kids already under age 7 and I am here all by myself while hubby is off working out of state. I am not sure I could handle another toddler.

[bribella]

Your SISTER could also be required to pay child support as well as the father.
My sister has no job, has never had a job. She says she is scared to work?

[SLance68]

Well the courts in Florida would not care if she has never worked. I have a friend who got custody of her husbands nephew & both of the childs parents were required to pay child support and the mother had NEVER had a job. Well guess where mommy spends most of her time now - in JAIL for not paying her part of the child support. As a note the childs parents lost custody due to heavy drug use and neglecting the children.

[Freebeemom]

I also know someone in FL that this happened to . Would it be the worst thing??

Sorry, but this is not your mother's responsibility. Do you know yet if the child is "Clean". Is the baby Ok, free of drugs?

[budlite]

My sister had a baby at 16, she lived with us me and my parents. I guess it all depends on the strenght of you mom. My sister was not allowed outside at night until he son was asleep. She went to school during the day , my grandmother watched him while she was in school. She had to come straight home from school and care for her child. My mom set the rules and if she didnt follow then she would have to find other arrangements. But my sister was strong girl i have no idea how she raised a baby, went to school and had a aprt time job. Yup I helped her. We all helped her together. My nephew is now 23 yrs old and has a good job. It wasnt easy for my sister but she knew what she had to do. My mother was her rock. But when my mom died it killed all of us. We were left alone with my father who himslef died of a broken heart . My nephew was only 5 when my mom died. I say now he was a blessing, he was the only grandbaby my mom would see. So god works in mysterous ways.

Hugs