Not that its any of your business...

[buttrfli]

I have received SEVERAL e-mails from members who read the thread where I said that we threw all of our oldest DD's stuff away. They weren't very nice e-mails.

Although I do not feel the need to defend myself, telling me that DHS should have been called and that my children should be taken away is a bit over board.

I DARE you to call DHS. PM me and I will give you their phone number and my information.... then I will find out your information on my own. Instead of hiding behind anonomous e-mails, stand up for your convictions and tell me to my face how you really feel and don't hide just because you can.

That being said and not because its ANYONE'S business..... when we cleaned out our DD's room, she had previously run away a few times. That time she had been gone for 2 weeks. We did not hear from her for 8 days and she finally called an said she was fine and safe, but she wasn't coming home. (I was relived to hear she was safe and mad at her disrespect all at the same time) Because of the fact we had had problems with her, we were members of our local Tough Love group (this was 10 years ago.. I don't even know if they still exist) and tossing everything was a recommendation fo one of the counselors and we thought about it for days before we actually did it... and might I add that we had help from a good friend of ours who is a Tulsa police officer.

Now... go ahead and call DHS on me for what I did 10 years ago because I am such a crappy mother. Make sure to get my DD's phone number from me so that you can call her directly and she can tell you how permanently scarred she is from that incident :rolleyes: (please not the sarcasam)

[JKATHERINE]

:eek:


Some people are such jerks and unbelievable cowards. I dare them to write me an email like that. :mad:

I don't blame you at all for what you did. I often suggested it to my mother when she went through a whole lot of trouble with my brother when he was younger. Sometimes "tough love" is the ONLY option left.

[ahippiechic]

Cowards.

[Bud_Girl76]

:eek: Wasn't me

[Shann]

wow, some ppl do need to mind their own business. I don't feel that I would be strong enough to do that, not to mention I would see money signs flying out the window, but I don't think anyone has a right to send you nasty e-mails regarding this. I believe Dr. Phil and a even one of the Nanny's of Nanny 911 have recommended this and it's been show to get your childs attention and make them understand you are the boss and that you will be respected. *hugs* That's just ridiculous that ppl are getting all over you for this. :mad:

[Kyla Kym]

You got to be joking! :rolleyes:

Tell them to bite your butt!

Their not very good parents anyway if they would rather spend their spare time written sneaky, nasty e-mails to strangers, when they could be spending that same time with their kids or doing something productive! :rolleyes:

[dianepost]

DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN,SOME PEOPLE AREN'T HAPPY UNLESS THEY ARE STIRRING UP CRAP FOR SOMEONE ELSE, sorry i forgot to turn caps off.
i am not quite sure what this is in reference to but i think from the sound of it you need a hug.((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))
keep your chin up

[Aloha from paradise]

Just try and ignore them. Tell them to go lay out in the backyard with all the other turds :)

[HumblePie98]

I'm not surprised. It's happened to me because I CHOSE TO NOT TELL MY SON his hamster died.

[buttrfli]

Its funny (not HAHA funny) that I am more angry that they were anonomyous than anything. I know I am a great mom (ask Yankee Mary about the time DD locked my in the garage while I was talking to her lol) so all I have to say is bring DHS on.

I have a LOT I'd love to say here publically, however I value my membership and the friends I have made here way to much to compromise being banned.

[onfire4god57]

buttrfli;

I give you all the credit in the world for what you did. You were the parents and you did exactly what needed to be done. And I am sure that your daughter respects you today for it.

When our children were teenagers we were having a terrible time with them. Of course my husband was their step father so thought they didn't have to listen to a word he said. Boby were they ever wrong. I am sure that people on here would of called DHS on us on a few occassions. We never abused the kids, but they did learn some respect.

I remember a time when my son came home from school he was about 12 or 13 at the time with one bad attitude, well he had been having this attitude for a couple of weeks at the time. Well hubby decided that it was time for him to change, and I totally agreed. We heated with wood at the time, and we had about 3 ricks of wood stacked up. Well hubby made our son take all the wood and restack it on the otherside of the property. And when he came in and said he was done he told him fine now go put it all back. Well by the time he was done he was too tired to have an attitude anymore that night. Actually it changed his attitude alot. After then everytime he would even start the attitude, hubby would ask him if he would like to go and restack the wood?

And you know what today our kids are 25 and 27 and both kids respect us and don't care any mental or physical scars from tough love. Maybe if a few more parents would learn to use some tough love kids wouldn't be running the households instead of the parents.

[buttrfli]

This DD is my step-daughter BUT I have been the only mom that her and her sister have ever had. This were difficult between DD and I particularly because e are only 7 years apart and we are both hard headed.

It took us a long time, but now we get along better than we ever have :)

Thanks for all of the kinds words. I was hurt when I wrote the first post, but now I have calmed down (if you can call it that) and I am flat out mad.

I'll get over it though... take more than something like that to break me :)

[LuvBigRip]

Good Grief, how cowardly to hide behind anonymous emails. Seems the more things change, the more they stay the same. :rolleyes:

I have thrown away my kids toys, I have taken doors off walls, I have had my kids personally take stuff they would not care for properly to the shelters. If children lose respect for you and their own stuff, the only way to get their attention to to remove the stuff. Putting kids in time out never worked, taking away their stuff (which I paid for) was always much more effective. Even my 5 year old knows that when Mommy puts the garbage bag on the door, and sets the timer for 30 minutes, everything left on the floor, under the bed or basically not where is belongs should be regarded as trash.

[Tasha405]

Wow, I guess I must be part of the bad mom crowd because I have cleaned my sons room out more than once. lol Some went to the trash and some got stored in the garage. I'm sorry but if me cleaning my sons room out and only leaving him his clothes and bed makes him be a better person and show some respect then thats what I'm going to do. Like or not, we all do things that someone else might frown upon but we also don't know what others live with and put up with on a day to day basis.


Anyway, its pretty sorry to judge someone over something you read without having all of the details. We also need to remember that we are not always going to agree with everything everyone else does. Thats life. What she sees as fine to do may rub you the wrong way but that also goes both ways. I'm sure there is something you might do that would shock the rest of us. Leave the woman alone and let her raise her child as she sees fit. Unless she is abusing her child... she is doing nothing wrong. And believe me... taking a childs junk (toys, games and so on) is NOT in any way abuse. You (as a parent) are supposed to supply a child with what they need in life to survive (house, food, water, clothes and so on) but not everything they want.

I was also told by my sons doctor on several occasions to clean out his room like that. I was also told to not give him any chocolate, sugar or pop. Does that make me a bad mommy? No, it just shows that I care.

Anyway, try not to let these people get to you. I see nothing wrong with what you done. Heck, my mom done the same thing to us when we were little. She gave us an X amount of time to clean our room and when she came in to check it, whatever was left in floor went into the trash. We learned real quick that she said what she meant.

[angeldaddy]

I Personally Think You Were Right You Have To Get Their Attention Somehow And Each Child Takes Different Actions!! Teenagers Have To Know That You Are Willing To Stand By What You Say!!

[Kelsey1224]

I'm with everyone else. Anonymous e-mails are just cowardly. Obviously the people who sent these to you are ignorant and you should just ignore them.

Why have a battle of wits with unarmed people?

[LitWtch]

Heck, let their own PM's bite them in the rear and turn them over to the moderators. Get them banned for harrassing you when you did or said nothing wrong. Funny, I did the same as you by stripping the room. Worked like a charm, so who give a flying faluck what they think.

[Njean31]

i read that thread and i'll bet i could guess who it was in one try

i'm sorry, some people think they know what's right for everyone :mad:

btw, the professionals STILL advise to do the very thing you did in certain circumstances.

[schsa]

Every adult handles their children differently because every child reacts differently to punishment. If time out worked for every child, life would be good. But it doesn't. Being tough also shows how much you care and love your child. The kid may not appreciate it at the time but they will learn.

I think you did a great job in being the adult and not letting your child run your home.

[kelly12569]

Wow, dont know what I missed that brought it all about but


(((((((((( Butterfli )))))))))))


I have a step son from hell that lives with us. Id love to toss him out right along with his stuff but thats a whole new thread and I wont go there. Lets just say I know how tough it can be sometimes and sometimes we just dont get the credit we deserve for putting up with the crap we do. :(

Life goes on.... just ignore the emails or perhaps turn them into your service provider for harrassment.

[Faithfully]

Sheesh :rolleyes: some people.

You were totally in the right, and I would have done the exact same thing to my kids. So call them on me too. :D

[Willow]

The one's that pm'ed you are probably the ones with bratty kids running all over the place. At least you discipline your kids.

[Tasha405]

The one's that pm'ed you are probably the ones with bratty kids running all over the place. At least you discipline your kids.
hehe ;)

[adorkablex]

As I don't agree with the approach of "oh my kid won't clean their room so I'm throwing everything away" your reasoning was different and understandable.


Anyone who's too cowardly to say who they are aren't worth worrying over. If your children are well behaved and you're happy with the way you've parented them, that's all that matters

[tracyb]

I say...you dont walk in my shoe and I dont yours...parents have to do what they need to getting a childs attention sometimes just is not easy....taking things away beats physical abuse....abuse and not a spanking,a big difference...lol.....I am all for what you did hey I might need to do that here....lol.... opps hubby would like to do that with my shoes....lol..
just try you hardest raising your children God knows and that is all that really matters in the end.

[freebielover]

People need to get over it. They make snap judgements on the dumbest crap. Lower intelligence people with nothing better to do will jump on anything you say. They don't know you, you're obviously a good parent, screw 'em! At least you can come here and say what you want, they have to hide like the pathetic cowards they are lol.

[llbriteyes]

Butterfli, just because you and I disagreed on this, I want you to know I had nothing to do with that. I think its a cowardly act for people to do that. I assure you, and I know its no laughing matter, that if I had sent you an email, I'd have signed it.

Linda

[buttrfli]

Butterfli, just because you and I disagreed on this, I want you to know I had nothing to do with that. I think its a cowardly act for people to do that. I assure you, and I know its no laughing matter, that if I had sent you an email, I'd have signed it.

Linda

I was going to PM you, but thought that everyone should know... I honestly didn't think it was you. I have a good idea of who one of them were (there were 2 and I am not about to point fingers as I am not 100% positive) butyou didn't even cross my mind :) One sender in particular has a distinct way of writing and wording things.. thats the only hint I have.

There are a lot of people who don't disagree with me on here, and thats fine, we can agree to disagree and move on, just part of life.

I am sure I'll live lol

I just wanted everyone to know that I didn't think either of them were you :)

[llbriteyes]

I gotta tell you butterfli, when I first read this, I got all paranoid and though through our misunderstanding, you might have thought it was me who did that.

Your situation, with raising your step-daughter is very close to mine.

I just wanted to re-assure you that it wasn't me, and that I hope you find out who it is so you can take proper steps against them.

I'm very sorry this happened.

Linda




This DD is my step-daughter BUT I have been the only mom that her and her sister have ever had. This were difficult between DD and I particularly because e are only 7 years apart and we are both hard headed.

It took us a long time, but now we get along better than we ever have :)

Thanks for all of the kinds words. I was hurt when I wrote the first post, but now I have calmed down (if you can call it that) and I am flat out mad.

I'll get over it though... take more than something like that to break me :)

[llbriteyes]

Bet you'd be wrong. You know from experience that I say outright what I want to. Disagreeing with someone does NOT mean they (meaninging I) would do something so dispicable.

You have no right to accuse someone (and I think we both know who you meant) without having said it to their face (in writing) first. That is rude. That is hateful. And it sends a message. A message you better be damn sure of before you accuse me.

Just because you and I don't agree on things does NOT make me a monster who would do such a thing.

Get it right or don't get it.

Linda



i read that thread and i'll bet i could guess who it was in one try

i'm sorry, some people think they know what's right for everyone :mad:

btw, the professionals STILL advise to do the very thing you did in certain circumstances.

[Willow]

I think I misunderstood. I thought the person or people had pm'ed you. I guess that's because last week there was a mass pm'er. lol Hope you can find out who it was.

[buglebe]

Question one - How do you send an anonymous email?

Comment two - When my granddaughter was about 15 months old she liked to walk everywhere. She wanted her freedom. Her home is on a 15 acre lot and the driveway is very long. Along the driveway on both sides is a lake. I loved to take her for a walk and her granddaddy did too. We put her on a leash. She could walk with out holding her arm up in the air, that is uncomfortable after a while, she could sit down and look at rocks when she wanted to and I didn't have to worry about her getting into the lake. Sometimes we went to the outlet mall near her home and her mother and I could shop while her Pawpaw walked her out on the sidewalk. There are so many people who have strong feelings about that and are not shy about letting us know about them. It is not their business. Our grandson is now 15 months old and while visiting us in Florida we took him walking around our lake on a leash. Same thing. Ugly comments. Some to us and some loud enough for us to hear.
I think throwing all of a child's things away is cruel but I think things this strong are definitely needed at times. I don't think it is my business to tell another person how she should raise her children. We had to exercise tough love with our son. It makes me mad when well intentioned people tell me that what we are doing is cruel with the harness. Without it the baby would be in a stroller not happy. I think this is very safe and does not harm the baby. I think lots of people think they are perfect parents and no one else can do as good as them. For every child there is a different way to parent because they are each different. And when we all get enough years behind us we can look back and see things we would have done differently. None of us were perfect children and none of us are perfect parents.
Next time someone sees me walking my grandbaby with a harness I wish they would keep their mouth shut.
Sorry, just stirred up a pet peeve of mine, intolerant people.

[llbriteyes]

Wow. Thank you so much. That really is a relief, as I'm just about the only one who disagreed with you on that thread.

I agree so much with what you said about disagreeing. We CAN disagree and move on, and that's a good thing.

Thanks again.

Linda


I was going to PM you, but thought that everyone should know... I honestly didn't think it was you. I have a good idea of who one of them were (there were 2 and I am not about to point fingers as I am not 100% positive) butyou didn't even cross my mind :) One sender in particular has a distinct way of writing and wording things.. thats the only hint I have.

There are a lot of people who don't disagree with me on here, and thats fine, we can agree to disagree and move on, just part of life.

I am sure I'll live lol

I just wanted everyone to know that I didn't think either of them were you :)

[llbriteyes]

Many might be suprised at me on this one, but I have no problems with kids on a leash. lol My youngest was always one to wander off, but back then there was no such thing.

At least you can let them have a little freedom without worrying about whether someone is gonna snatch them, or just not know where they are. Saves a lot of headaches.

I think this shows you care a lot about the little one. Ignore those bad looks and comments.

Linda



Question one - How do you send an anonymous email?

Comment two - When my granddaughter was about 15 months old she liked to walk everywhere. She wanted her freedom. Her home is on a 15 acre lot and the driveway is very long. Along the driveway on both sides is a lake. I loved to take her for a walk and her granddaddy did too. We put her on a leash. She could walk with out holding her arm up in the air, that is uncomfortable after a while, she could sit down and look at rocks when she wanted to and I didn't have to worry about her getting into the lake. Sometimes we went to the outlet mall near her home and her mother and I could shop while her Pawpaw walked her out on the sidewalk. There are so many people who have strong feelings about that and are not shy about letting us know about them. It is not their business. Our grandson is now 15 months old and while visiting us in Florida we took him walking around our lake on a leash. Same thing. Ugly comments. Some to us and some loud enough for us to hear.
I think throwing all of a child's things away is cruel but I think things this strong are definitely needed at times. I don't think it is my business to tell another person how she should raise her children. We had to exercise tough love with our son. It makes me mad when well intentioned people tell me that what we are doing is cruel with the harness. Without it the baby would be in a stroller not happy. I think this is very safe and does not harm the baby. I think lots of people think they are perfect parents and no one else can do as good as them. For every child there is a different way to parent because they are each different. And when we all get enough years behind us we can look back and see things we would have done differently. None of us were perfect children and none of us are perfect parents.
Next time someone sees me walking my grandbaby with a harness I wish they would keep their mouth shut.
Sorry, just stirred up a pet peeve of mine, intolerant people.

[buttrfli]

Question one - How do you send an anonymous email?



I guess my wording is off lol

They sent and e-mail from yahoo where you can get a new e-mail any time of day and not be able to trace who the sender was without them putting their name on it etc.

[hblueeyes]

Every child is fifferent and every parent is different as well. What works for one may not work for another. I beleve that no one knows your child better than you. You know what you have done, tried and contemplated. I am sure there were many things that was advised that you were uncomfortable with and passed on. Good for you. You have done your job which is to love, care for and guide our children the best we can. It is our responsibility as parents to give our children a good foundation and raise them to be the best that they can. Sometimes drastic times calls for drastic measures and you found the courage and strength to do what you needed to do for the benefit of not only the child but the family as a whole.

I find today that parents want to be their kids friends and thought of as cool. That is fine as long as they know that you are the Mom and in charge. I love my boys and I like them as well. We get along great but there are times when I need to lay down the law and rule with conviction and authority. I give them freedoms as long as they are responsible about it and take it away when they are not. I do not snoop, read their mail, notes but I will if I have suspicions of infractions, like the time I thought my son was smoking. I snooped and told him I was going to. They know that I do what I say and say what I do and that where my family is concerned I fear no one. That is my job.

You are doing you job well from what I have read. Good luck and remember in a few years your daughter will realize how smart and good you were though she may not see it now.

Me :p

PS

It takes seconds to steal a child or have them drown or get lost. A leash is a good thing since it is used with love.

[YankeeMary]

Its funny (not HAHA funny) that I am more angry that they were anonomyous than anything. I know I am a great mom (ask Yankee Mary about the time DD locked my in the garage while I was talking to her lol) so all I have to say is bring DHS on.

I have a LOT I'd love to say here publically, however I value my membership and the friends I have made here way to much to compromise being banned.
hmmm did DHS ever show up, I called them on your kid for locking you out...LOL..

You know I think it is almost comical that someone would email you, I mean did they truly have nothing better to do? If not and you are the one that sent her the email and you are reading this, contact me, I have like a bazillion things that need done, since you have so much free time..LOL...Teri, you know that you are a good Momma, who truly cares what some bored person says. HUGS!!!

[buttrfli]

I think I misunderstood. I thought the person or people had pm'ed you. I guess that's because last week there was a mass pm'er. lol Hope you can find out who it was.

Thats ok.. I'm used to you being confused ;) lol :p

[buttrfli]

hmmm did DHS ever show up, I called them on your kid for locking you out...LOL..

You know I think it is almost comical that someone would email you, I mean did they truly have nothing better to do? If not and you are the one that sent her the email and you are reading this, contact me, I have like a bazillion things that need done, since you have so much free time..LOL...Teri, you know that you are a good Momma, who truly cares what some bored person says. HUGS!!!

Was that not funny?? LOL

I know... sometimes things just catch me off guard and it gets me riled.

I am over it now lol

[Willow]

Thats ok.. I'm used to you being confused ;) lol :p

I'm blonde. :D

[JKATHERINE]

Now... go ahead and call DHS on me for what I did 10 years ago because I am such a crappy mother. Make sure to get my DD's phone number from me so that you can call her directly and she can tell you how permanently scarred she is from that incident :rolleyes: (please not the sarcasam)

I still can't believe that anyone would even think that what you did warranted calling the DHS. But then again, things here never surprise me. After all, there were a whole bunch of people here who condoned a certain Kentuckian who beat her 11-year old on Christmas this past year... :rolleyes:

[Willow]

I still can't believe that anyone would even think that what you did warranted calling the DHS. But then again, things here never surprise me. After all, there were a whole bunch of people here who condoned a certain Kentuckian who beat her 11-year old on Christmas this past year... :rolleyes:


OMG! I remember that. :eek:

[HumblePie98]

I still can't believe that anyone would even think that what you did warranted calling the DHS. But then again, things here never surprise me. After all, there were a whole bunch of people here who condoned a certain Kentuckian who beat her 11-year old on Christmas this past year... :rolleyes:


OMG!!! I wasn't online at this time, but how horrible. :(

[queenangie]

We have taken the door off our teenager's bedroom before.
It worked for our teen and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

My Mom raised 9 children and always said
each one was different.
One child, if she just raised her eye brows, would snap into line.
Just the opposite, another child would find mischief every waking
moment and push things to the limit.

If that is what your child needed to get turned around,
more power to you, that you could appropriately discipline
her and help get her on the right track again.

Kids need to know they are loved with hugs, kisses,
and "I love you!'s"
but they also need to know their boundaries and limitations
set by their parents
to know they are loved.

Hugs!

(No, it was me emailing either!)

[buttrfli]

Well I can say this much... My older girls are both college educated and have great jobs. They aren't doing or selling drugs, stealing your car or money, nor have they ever hurt anyone.

I do what I have to do as a parent... no matter what it is. My oldest called 911 on me once because she spit on me and I slapped her mouth (she was 16) The police came and laughed in her face and told her that had she done it to one of them, being slapped would not have been the worse thing that happened. Looking back, things were bad at the time at home (she kicked me in the stomach when I was preggo) BUT we eventually got things under control with her and shes a wonderful young adult and I am very proud of her (and I tell her so). :D

[Njean31]

Well I can say this much... My older girls are both college educated and have great jobs. They aren't doing or selling drugs, stealing your car or money, nor have they ever hurt anyone.

I do what I have to do as a parent... no matter what it is. My oldest called 911 on me once because she spit on me and I slapped her mouth (she was 16) The police came and laughed in her face and told her that had she done it to one of them, being slapped would not have been the worse thing that happened. Looking back, things were bad at the time at home (she kicked me in the stomach when I was preggo) BUT we eventually got things under control with her and shes a wonderful young adult and I am very proud of her (and I tell her so). :D

sounds just like my oldest, cept she never kicked me but she did try to fight me once. i won. she's a good girl now, we just went through some trials. i love her more than life itself......well her and my other 2
:D

[lisahiser]

I can't believe...well I can believe but, anyway, some people have some nerve! Guess I am part of the bad mommy crowd because I have thrown my sons's stuff out and or stored some of it, and left them nothing but a bed and a dresser with what ever cloths were left in it. when I cleaned out their room I put their TV out on the side of the road with a Chair and an old TV stand and all of that was gone within an hour. The boys needed a new Tv anyway, it was a very old 13 inch, and the color was fading and you had to switch the channel dial back and forth to get the channel you wanted, if that even worked. But I told my kids that they were spoiled and that they didn't need a TV or game system or toys and that they should be happy that they have clothes to wear and food in their stomachs everyday. I am always telling them about the starving homeless kids in the USA. Guess I am a bad mommy for that one too....
Now understand I did not go out and buy them a new TV when they got some of their stuff back, I went to a Yard sale and found them a new one for $10, 13 inch color, looks like one from an old hotel room.

oh babbeling, moving back to subject at hand,
who ever did that to you was just plain wrong and they don't have to agree with any of us on how to raise children. everyone is different, if we all had that stupid handbook on how to raise our kids, you know the one we all lost when they were born.....we wouldn't have to get so creative. :rolleyes:

[CatrinaF25]

Geezz how dumb of someone to do!!!
I am so sorry they did that to you :( how annoying!!

here is what happened here last christmas..
We buy all yr around * ya got to with 5 kids!* lol
and we took all the gifts down in nov and wrapped them put half under the tree and half in garage hidden. well our God son found the hidden ones and took My daughters to school and gave them away and threw some away on the way to school! Well I asked the counselor what I should do? She said can you afforid to replace the stuff? I said no! it was 300 bucks worth! She said well then he cant work it off. Tell him your taking away one gift per gift he took and threw away and that if he does not get the gifts back he gave away your do the same. Well we told him that and end up taking 5 gifts away that he threw away and 2 from given away. He did not care! we hide the gifts again( took them all from under neither the tree and hidden them) and he found them again and did it again! finally we talked to counselor again and she said well take his stuff back that you got him and replace the things he stole and he gets nothing! so we told him we would do this and he did not care. I took ALL his stuff back and replaced the stolen items and christmas morning he got 1 gift a outfit while the other kids got about 15 each.( he end up stealing over 20 items from the house between andrianna;s items and the other kids!) He got to watch the other kids open chirstmas gifts. He did get upset and angry but later he said he understood why we did it. were not made out of money!call me heartless or a bad mother but i cant afforid to throw gifts away and the other 4 kids dont deserve to go without because of something he did! :( He did learn his leasson I THINK . As he has not gotten in to the new ones we baught the kids bday's but he does know if he does he wont get anything for his as were have to replace the other kids stuff he steals.. it was heart breaking for me for him to not get nothing for christmas( except the outfit which i ran out at last minute to get him) . I cried for hours because i was sad . but i bet he wont do it again.

[lisahiser]

Geezz how dumb of someone to do!!!
I am so sorry they did that to you :( how annoying!!

here is what happened here last christmas..
We buy all yr around * ya got to with 5 kids!* lol
and we took all the gifts down in nov and wrapped them put half under the tree and half in garage hidden. well our God son found the hidden ones and took My daughters to school and gave them away and threw some away on the way to school! Well I asked the counselor what I should do? She said can you afforid to replace the stuff? I said no! it was 300 bucks worth! She said well then he cant work it off. Tell him your taking away one gift per gift he took and threw away and that if he does not get the gifts back he gave away your do the same. Well we told him that and end up taking 5 gifts away that he threw away and 2 from given away. He did not care! we hide the gifts again( took them all from under neither the tree and hidden them) and he found them again and did it again! finally we talked to counselor again and she said well take his stuff back that you got him and replace the things he stole and he gets nothing! so we told him we would do this and he did not care. I took ALL his stuff back and replaced the stolen items and christmas morning he got 1 gift a outfit while the other kids got about 15 each.( he end up stealing over 20 items from the house between andrianna;s items and the other kids!) He got to watch the other kids open chirstmas gifts. He did get upset and angry but later he said he understood why we did it. were not made out of money!call me heartless or a bad mother but i cant afforid to throw gifts away and the other 4 kids dont deserve to go without because of something he did! :( He did learn his leasson I THINK . As he has not gotten in to the new ones we baught the kids bday's but he does know if he does he wont get anything for his as were have to replace the other kids stuff he steals.. it was heart breaking for me for him to not get nothing for christmas( except the outfit which i ran out at last minute to get him) . I cried for hours because i was sad . but i bet he wont do it again.


WOW! you are very strong! I don't think I would have been able to handle that one. Except to give my son a lump of coal. j/k I am sorry to hear your christmas was so hard. I hope that your son has learned his lesson, it would break my heart too not to be able to give my sons anything on christmas morning.

[joni1269]

I tell you what - some people!! Just ignore them - and I admire you for posting this. At least you are able to confront someone to their "face"!!

[tigger4]

Some people need to get a life.

I have taken all kinds of things away from my kids. Last year my son lived in a room with a bed, some books, and his clothes. He wouldn't do his homework. About halfway through the year he started to get it together and this year he was asked to join the Honors program. So, I must be doing something right, right?

[june72]

you go girl.............they need to keep there noses in their own business and lay off. no one knows the life we live unless they have walked it. glad you two have a close relationship now.

as for the leash darn right I've used one........would agian if I had one :D

[MamaFairal]

wow the things i miss when i dont log in.....lol

Buttrfli~ we all know what kind of mother you are(THE BEST) and when stupid cowardless people email you please dont let it get to you.

I am a parent who believes in spanking , leashing, door removing, grounding and military school if nessacary....lol
And i survived it all!

[CatrinaF25]

WOW! you are very strong! I don't think I would have been able to handle that one. Except to give my son a lump of coal. j/k I am sorry to hear your christmas was so hard. I hope that your son has learned his lesson, it would break my heart too not to be able to give my sons anything on christmas morning.

LOL he did get coal in his stocking LOL it was very hard to do But i think My God son has learned he can not act that way. He is learning i am not made out of gold. When he destroys something i take something from him. He wont be getting allowance for alteast a yr for the computer he just broke! But i bet he dont steal christmas gifts no more lol

[adorkablex]

Wow. Thank you so much. That really is a relief, as I'm just about the only one who disagreed with you on that thread.

I agree so much with what you said about disagreeing. We CAN disagree and move on, and that's a good thing.

Thanks again.

Linda

I disagreed too. LOL. It darned sure wasn't me though. I'm not such a coward I have to hide who I am to say what I think.



I still can't believe that anyone would even think that what you did warranted calling the DHS. But then again, things here never surprise me. After all, there were a whole bunch of people here who condoned a certain Kentuckian who beat her 11-year old on Christmas this past year...

That still chaps my arse when I think about it.
:mad:

[ilikefree]

The one's that pm'ed you are probably the ones with bratty kids running all over the place. At least you discipline your kids.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Luckily my kids aren't that bad yet, but that's not saying they never will be. You did the right thing.

Also, I'm sorry I missed the one about the person who beat the child at Christmas time. :( :confused:

[evrita]

I am sorry someone did that I was going to mention that we have people here who sprinkle hot pepper on cookies to keep their kids out of them and young ones too and ones who beat their bi polar kids on x mas day and eww I am sorry but a room so messy it has ants?

What is this world coming to? She said her DD turned out fine wow to email behind her back nice cowardly way

[CatrinaF25]

I am sorry someone did that I was going to mention that we have people here who sprinkle hot pepper on cookies to keep their kids out of them and young ones too and ones who beat their bi polar kids on x mas day and eww I am sorry but a room so messy it has ants?

What is this world coming to? She said her DD turned out fine wow to email behind her back nice cowardly way
i dont remember that xmas one . can anyone link me?

[Freebeemom]

My sister did things like that to my parents. I am in my 30s she is early 20s. My sister was put in an onsite rehab center. They told us that a stipulation for her being there was that once she returned, her room was to be stripped of old haunts...persay. It definatlye worked, that's for sure!

I don't believe people would bother you like that. Never fear, I believe you did the correct thing!

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

I am a parent who believes in spanking , leashing, door removing, grounding and military school if nessacary....lol
And i survived it all!


Me too Mama, my kids know this so with the older ones if I say "you better recognize" they wise up lol and with Dawson, so far I only get to two when I start counting :D

oh, and ya'all know I didn't email,if I had a problem you would have read it here, Just tell them (the tards who pm'd or emailed you)to piss off, better yet post their BBS names,we'll take care of them LMAO :eek:

[adorkablex]

oh, and ya'all know I didn't email,if I had a problem you would have read it here, Just tell them (the tards who pm'd or emailed you)to piss off, better yet post their BBS names,we'll take care of them LMAO :eek:


I figure some people think it was me because I seem to be one of the resident hoodlums lol. But I figure if they don't realize that when I think something, I'll just say it in the thread then they probably aren't bright enough for me to care what they think.

Plus like my good buddy franklin says, when you assume, you make an a-s out of u and me.

[iluvmybaby]

For what my 2 cents are worth, I think that you are a good mom and did the right thing, you are the mother, they are the child, and YOU are in charge. You gave them everything, you can take everything away, giveth and taketh, children are so spoiled these days that I dont know what they would do without their playstations, game boys, gamecubes, Xboxes, etc!

[MamaFairal]

better yet post their BBS names,we'll take care of them LMAO :eek:


OOOH i like that idea.......lol

[Willow]

I'm still trying to remember who that Kentuckian was. :confused: I remember the post but can't remember the persons name. lol

[adorkablex]

I'm still trying to remember who that Kentuckian was. :confused: I remember the post but can't remember the persons name. lol
I believe it was KATinKY. I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure that's who it was.

[buttrfli]

Just for the record... I do not know who sent the e-mails. (I keep getting asked lol) If I did or if I find out, you bet I will be posting info! :D I have a good idea, but I am not going to accuse anyone w/o being positive.

I do not believe it was anyone that disagreed with me or even posted in the thread I was talking about. I figure if you are going to disagree w/ me in public, then you would sign your name to your e-mails lol

[Willow]

I believe it was KATinKY. I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure that's who it was.


Oh thank you. It was starting to bug me because I had read the thread but I just couldn't remember who it was that posted it. I guess she just lurks here now. I haven't seen posts by her for a long time so I looked up her profile. It says she asked for her account to be removed but it says her last activity here was yesterday.

[xsweetestx]

OMG people need to butt out..Your not bad and remember that..If you are then we all are..I made my daughter pack her Chit up and take it to the road once and yes garbage man did take it..She was PO but didnt care..Her life was so great on the run then she didnt need what was here...That was yrs ago and since she has been a druggy and brought 3 boys into this world for us to raise..She has lost everything.....Keep your chin up you did the right thing..Dont let these so called people get to you..Therejust bored with there lifes... :eek:

[one_angel]

I don't yet have children (hubby is 27 and me 26), but we were raised well. Our parents were strict when they needed to be and loving when they needed to be.

With all of the throwing out stuff...Mom would warn me that I needed to clean my closet or something or she would do it for me. I pushed the limit once or twice and got more than what I wanted taken out and thrown away (It was all letters that Mid School kids love to write and that sort of junk...prizes from carnivals). If I cleaned it, then I got to say what stayed and what went. If she cleaned, SHE CLEANED.

One instance with my husband. I guess when he was about three or four, he marked on the walls with his crayons. His mom made him gather them all up and he had to throw them in the trash. She didn't do it; he had to do it. She said a lot of people asked how could she be that mean? She said it wasn't mean. Crayons are cheap, and that was a valuable lesson. When she finally bought him some new crayons later on, he never marked on the wall again!

Our parents treated us with respect, but they disiplined us as well. We got a little "tough love" now and then, but we are better adults for it. We were never treated badly or rough. We just knew what respect is, and I think a lot of parents are doing everything for their kids anymore, and the kids don't think they have to do anything in life. I used to teach high school. Believe me, the kids think everything should be handed to them. JMO!

;) :rolleyes: :D

[reneep45]

You are the MOM - You are the BOSS !
None of anyones buisness , you did the right thing for your situation

!!!