Has anyone invited a guest into their home

[Shann]

and then regret it shortly after? We are letting a "friend" stay in our home and from day one he has been rude, condesending and a huge moocher even though I told him he needed to be buying his own stuff. He sleeps most of the day. He arrived last monday and today was the first real day he has gotten off his butt and left (thankfully.)

How did you get rid of them, if you did? Tomorrow I am going to ask him when he plans on staying some place else (he knew he wasn't going to be able to stay here the whole three weeks he was visiting.) And if I don't like his answer, I will let him know it needs to be sooner.

I feel bad, but there were rules he needed to follow and he has not. I'm sick of him mooching off of MY stuff. And who the heck comes to Vegas to sit on their butt all week watching tv? :mad: Not to mention he has told me that I drink too much (OMG I rarely drink and by rarely I mean less than one single drink/bottle of smirnoff a month and yes, I'm very stressed right now so I've had ONE, JUST ONE a night), that our place is messy (exscuse me! We are still in the process of moving in and remodeling) and apparantly I don't exercise enough. :mad: I could go on and on, but I won't...

And to make matters worse we have a freaking Trojan Horse on the computer and Norton's isn't catching it and we've uninstalled and have attempted reinstalling it, but something isn't installing correctly so we can't get rid of the darn thing and half the time the comp isn't even working... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to SCREAM!

*sigh* Thank you for listening. I would love to hear your stories and how you got rid of an unwanted guests... I'm about done bitting my tongue. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[freeplease]

Do you have time to change the locks before he gets back? Sounds like it's time for Moochie to hit the road. Are you sure he isn't one of my in laws? lol

[LitWtch]

"I'm so sorry the FREE accommodations do not meet your standards, and that the service is not quite what you would prefer. Please feel free to leave now without leaving a gratuity."

[catdance]

I can surely relate to you..I had a friend very recently stay with me, he was an OLD friend and I dunno if he is any friend to me anymore..He was really DOWN on his luck so I offered, my place, my den for him..WELL..he ate up a STORM, he easily slept most the day, he was suppose to be working, he wasn't, and he SMOKED all day in my apartment after I clearly said, that is NOT OK..you have to go outside, I have a freaking patio, the weather was fine...he used my bathroom, but never hung so much as a towel up..I was really freaking mad, but I thought, well, I can just sit and have a drink and explain my issues here, at that point, I became a LOSER, as he stated, (I work, like 60 hours a week)..that my brand new futon/couch was really NOT very good to sleep on..that I was in his way when I wanted to be on MY computer, in my DEN and that my TV in that room, was a piece of crap..
HUH?
So I just said since he felt this way about my life and that I ask for QUIET after 9:00 PM, I get up at 4:16 AM, was too much for him and my rules were too hard for him to follow, I just asked im, to leave..he did, in a huge HUFF, which was just fine by me..
He did tell my pals I was a "BEACH" and very nasty to live with, well that is not even true, I have a cleaning gal come in 3 times a month, I fed him and allowed him to use everything if he could do that respectfully, he didn't.
What makes me the maddest, is that it was hurtful to me, and I lost a friend, but I think he wanted his "cake and eat it too"..but clearly after 4 days, that wasn't going to happen, and I feel better having my apartment back, and sadly, I doubt I would do this again.
So to the OP, I feel for you, you are a great gal to let your frien in, and if it is so uncomfortable, maybe you need to have him leave, and go back to your life...it is too bad, I know it is a struggle for you, to make this decision, but what is better, a CALM home or one that is OVERTURNED..JMO and my "sharing story"...
Good Luck...

[lisahiser]

I would ask him and then I would flat out tell him that until he leaves, these are the rules in your house and hand him a piece of paper with them on there. and make a copy for yourself and make him sign both of them so that there is no question in mind and if he doesn't agree with it,tell him he knows where the door is. and if anyone who was staying with me had the NERVE to rudely tell me how to live my life and what I should and shouldn't be doing would definately been out the door. ...
:eek:

[cinnamonch]

dont ask him when he is finding a new place, tell him he has a certain date to be gone and stick to it.

[EMSnurse]

I had to laugh when I read this post. A little over a year ago a long lost buddy of hubby's called and said he'd like to come visit. Well, I saw no harm in him coming for a few days. Boy was I wrong! He turned out to be psychotic and didn't see the need to take his meds. He sat for 20 to 30 hours straight (not kidding) on the computer making earthquake maps based on the spelling of certain words and their corresponding numbers in the alphabet. He ate everything in site. A 20 lb ham disappeared overnight. He never bathed. After a month of being prisoners in our bedroom because it was the only clean place, I waged war. I gave him a list of 10 places to call about a job, then told him I wanted to know when the interviews were scheduled. Oddly enough, he decided he should go back to whence he came. we gladly scraped up the bus fare and dropped him at the station. Good luck to you dear, perhaps presenting your interloper with a bus ticket would work for you too.

[buttrfli]

BTDT - I was nice to the person and ended up getting burned in a big way. She basically ruined anyones chances of ever staying with us for any reason because I will never do it again.

If I had known ahead of time howthings would have turned out I would have put her stuff on the porch and told her to get lost.

[freebielover]

Lol my fiances uncle had this happen to him, he lives in Daytona Beach and all of a sudden he had uninvited guests stop by at midnight one night, they were friends of his brothers. Well I guess after a day they did the same crap these people are doing to you and he removed all of the food from his fridge, hid all of their beer, shut off the hot water in the shower, hid all of the shampoo, soap & towels in his bedroom, monopolized his tv, and he blasted pop music all day and they left within 5 hours of his torture. They had no beer, no food, couldn't shower and had to listen to classical lol. They high tailed it and never showed up there again. I thought it was pretty funny.

[purplerose23]

Oh I agree, you invite they think its a "world ticket"! I have been through this not once, not twice but three times (after most of my life living with them already). I am refering to my twin sister, the hardest battle to fight of the "guest wars". She does not like to do much housework, does not like to clean after herself much and uses her darling daughters as pawns! Her love life is not much to holler about either.......she goes back to scumbag after scumbag after leaving them for reasons to NEVER go back!...........

I know we all make mistakes, and out of love I let her stay with me. I am going through the third battle right now...........and if things go well with my and the fiances plans, we will be out by October. It just seems SO far away! They fight and I am there to try to "referee" IF you have followed my vents, u know! Well I love my sister, and I do love my man........so the only conclusion here again is to sever and move in October into our new home, and now she is with her guy again, and hopefully this time the apartment we are in now will work out for their home.....it is a 3 br. SO I HEAR YOU OP....I know what your going through! I could have shared my stories, but its too much space! lol :)

[Tulsa_para]

well, my EX had this friend who would come over and literally be there when I woke up and be there when I went to bed, of course my ex had a lot to do with this....(argh, I HATE the playstation)

so anywho, one day I casually handed him an itemized bill for his portion of the rent and said that he could bring it his next visit..... never saw him set foot in my house again....he would drive up and honk if EX and him were getting together, and then they would hang out in the driveway or garage... :D



put a bill on top of your guest towels? and geesh, no way would I be hanging out on a couch if I were in VEGAS!!!???!!!

chris

[Shann]

Thank you everyone for your replies. He does have a plane ticket back to where he is from but it is not for another two weeks. :( (of course he was not invited to stay that long...) He is suppose to be out here for a business prop but so far doesn't seem to be doing anything. It's been really nice w/ him not here for most of the day. :D Of course I am a bit peeved that he feels it's "ok" to come back AFTER we go to sleep. :mad: Depending on how late he plans on coming back he *might* find himself sleeping outside. I am just past my point w/ him. On the first day he showed up at 6:48 am calling us asking what time we were going to be up eventhough I repatedly told him he needed to meet me at work later that day or show up after 4:30 p.m. and as you can see, that didn't happen. I have never been so peeved in my life at a guest and it's just bringing out the worst in me (and I'm all ready a beep to begin w/) :rolleyes: ;) I'm so ready for him to be gone... I forgot to mention that he got on me about how I don't eat leftovers.. WHATEVER! It's my farking house and I'll eat what I want to eat! And if it's not leftovers (which it rarely is, I don't like leftovers) than it's MY loss. My mom never made me eat leftovers so this is purely my own free choice which I take advantage of. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if I went to his place and told him how to live. UGH!

[VALENA-)45]

Boy, do I feel sorry for you. Most of my guest have been my brothers and sister, or my sons. Very few friends. Nobody likes staying at my house, I tell them up front how things are and those are the rules, and if they don't like them then they can go scratch their butts elsewhere. I am not good at letting people stay with me, cause I turn into a real witch, ( replace the w.. with a capital B.......). Other people always want to run my house the way they see fit, and I don't sit still for that. People come, sit, talk and leave. When anyone asks about coming and staying with me, I act like the birds from "Finding Nemo", mine, mine, mine, mine, mine mine mine mine mine. And they really get mad cause i refuse to let anybody get on my computer. If they can't buy food, and help pay bills, their behinds will not be staying here for long. I would tell DH, I have to kick him out, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And be in my house talking about me, YOU HAVE TO GO!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK.

[Shann]

Well.. he came back at 11:30 and I dropped the bomb on him. I couldn't hold it in, I figured I would lose my nerve and my roommate wasn't backing me up any. :( He seemed really shocked when I asked when he would be finding another place to stay. He said that he didn't know he was going to need another place (whatever! He knew BEFORE he even came here that he wasn't going to be able to stay for three weeks! I mentioned it to him after I saw his flight itenerary(sp?) which I was not informed of until after he bought the ticket and planned on landing here at 12am monday morning and he said he didn't sweat the small stuff... OK) That's a whole nother vent in itself. Then he said he wished he would have known sooner b/c he saw a friend today he could have asked. He then acted like it was a complete shock. Did he really think he was going to mooch off of us for three weeks? Have I mentioned he's using MY toiletries?!?!

I'm w/ you Valena, I am a mine mine mine kind of person. I told him he needed to buy his own food which he only has when we have gone out to dinner. He is using MY soap which he helped himself to, MY shampoo and whatever else he seems to get his hands on.

*sigh* He's not really talking to me, but he wasn't talking to me before, go figure. (he's not a talker and that doesn't work for me) ;) Hopefully he will be out of here soon. That way he can sleep as long as he wants and stay out as long as he wants and get phone calls at 12:30 a.m. that wake us up :mad: and mooch off of someone else and take 30+ min showers at someone else's place.. bet that will suck for him buying his OWN food!

Thanks for listening. It feels good to get this out!

[lisahiser]

good for you!
I can't beleive he acted like he was shocked. He knew the plan before he got there. But don't feel bad for him at all. Those types for some reason always give the huge why me's and oh what am I going to do, and who will help little old me's,

if he ran into his "friend" he could have stayed with, then can't he call this "friend" and go?

[freebielover]

Good for you for standing up for yourself. I'm telling you hide your soaps and shampoo, what will he do then? Or put all the towels in the laundry. Hopefully he doesn't try to ignore what you said and he gets out so you can regain your sanity. (I don't eat leftovers either so you're not weird lol)

[schsa]

Be sure you don't back off and keep on him about leaving. If you don't he will ignore what you have said and stay regardless.

If you have to, pack his bag and set it by the front door. Then give him the number for a cab company and the name of a hotel.

[irrelevant0]

i would be scared to let someone stay with me, thinking it might become permanent. i've heard horror stories on here about people not being able to kick a non-rent payer out because after so long they are considered residents. i really hope this clears up for you. (i can't believe he'd tell you that you don't exercise enough!)

[queenangie]

Good for you, having had the 'time to leave' talk with him.

Houseguests are like fish.....they tend to smell after 3 days
and then you have to throw them out! Didnt Dear Abby say that?

[hotwheelstx]

Guess I'm a different bird. When someone (anyone including family) comes to stay at my home I tell them straight out....bring your own toiletries, money for food, gifts, outings. I'm not a hotel, can't/won't wait on your hand and foot. Call the visitors bureau to find out what there's to do here, how to get around.

Don't get my wrong I like people coming over and visiting.....VISITING IS THE OPERATIVE WORD HERE. Don't move into my house, extend your welcome. I'm not the maid, cook, chauffeur.

I have a life, responsibilities, things need to get done.

Needless to say visitors don't stay more than a couple of days here. I wouldn't think of staying with someone for more than a couple of days....that's why they have hotels.

As for Las Vegas........who wants to sit on the couch and do nothing???

Good luck.

[Shann]

I agree hotwheelstx! I told him that he needed to be buying his own stuff and see that he obviously didn't listen. :mad: He was gone most of the last two days and he is not here now. He said that today he was going to this homeless place that lets ppl stay for a short time to see if he can stay there since he talked to his friend and he was going to be out of town. I don't feel bad. I said a certain time and he has taken it upon himself to extend his stay (in his mind anyways) to three weeks. I told him before he ever got to Vegas that three weeks was too long and asked where else he would stay. His reply was "I don't sweat the small stuff and will figure it out." He didn't do a good enough job, now did he. I can't believe he just thought he would have a nice luxeury stay at our place w/o paying for utilities and eating our food and using MY toiletries (no, I'm sorry, I cannot get over it, I'm a very selfish person and anyone that knows me, knows this. I do not hide this fact and am very open about it. My friends and family accept this.) He knew this BEFORE he even mentioned coming out here. I hope he finds a place soon, as you all can see I'm obvously not very accomodating to him w/ my drinking and messyness and not exercising. :rolleyes: I also apparantly do not know my race b/c I like hip hop music and am not a huge fan of classic rock. He even feels so strongly about this, he mentioned it to my friend. Can you believe that!?!? I feel he is a very hairy guy and needs to shave (sorry I'm grossed out by guys w/ lots of facial hair) but I don't go around telling him that he needs to shave and shoving razors in his face. :mad: GO AWAY AND LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!

*sigh* Thanks for letting me vent. It's just a whirlwind of drama over here. After this, I need a vacation! Anyone want a visitor? ;) :D

[Shann]

i would be scared to let someone stay with me, thinking it might become permanent. i've heard horror stories on here about people not being able to kick a non-rent payer out because after so long they are considered residents. i really hope this clears up for you. (i can't believe he'd tell you that you don't exercise enough!)

Does anyone know how long someone can stay before they are considered a resident? This will not happen. I could not live w/ such a moocher. My roommate/best friend all ready jokingly said there was only one moocher allowed (meaning me) ;)

[lisahiser]

i know in the county where I live, if you are here 10 days using the same address and living there that you are considered a resident, but in another county that I used to live in it was 2 weeks.


this reminded me of a story.........................
but I did have a guy friend who let his gf stay with him for a couple months and it was just because it was summer time and she lived in another town, she was supposed to go back to her place once they were done partying and vacationing together, anyways after she went back to her place and then came down for the weekend, they went out drinking came back and they got into a domestic dispute, you know yelling and all, and the neighbors called the cops and he kept telling the cops she didn't live there and he wanted her to leave, well she told the cops she did and the cops said well what in the house is yours, and she said her tooth brush and they didn't make her leave! They told him since she had a personal possesion in his house that she lived there! He was floored.. so with the cops there he told her that her and her "tooth brush" were being evicted and need to leave now, and he ended up going to jail for it. They just threw him in the drunk tank, but still. needles to say that relationship was over..... so when ever anyone visits me, I make sure they take their toothbrush or else I throw it away!
but can you believe that over a toothbrush!?! :eek:

[Shann]

OMG! I'm just floored! By those rules anyone could break into your house and bring a toothbrush or maybe an old dirty sock and not be made to leave!?!?! That better not happen! At least he has an id from another state and a plane ticket out of here in two Sundays.

[lisahiser]

OMG! I'm just floored! By those rules anyone could break into your house and bring a toothbrush or maybe an old dirty sock and not be made to leave!?!?! That better not happen! At least he has an id from another state and a plane ticket out of here in two Sundays.

well all this happened in Kalamazoo County in michigan, so I don't know exactally what those cops were thinking
but we all laugh about it today......

[MamaFairal]

OMG do you have my EX traveling thru Vegas again?............lol

Ya know some people do this for a living!