well, hallelujah!! she's finally outta here!!

[Njean31]

my ex is finally kicking his skanky cheating wife out the door. i swear, that "child" has caused me nothing but grief for the past 10 years. he met her when he was 27 and she was 17 and "our" daughter was 8. they shacked up together for the 1st 5 years or so and she pretended to be step mommy to my daughter and "tried" to tell me how to raise my daughter. she was 10 or so when my daughter was born so.............i really never put any stock into what she said. they finally got married after about 5 years and she really thought she had some say so then...NOT. my daughter turned 18 last year and i swear sometimes i think she stuck around just long enough to harrass me to death. constantly crying about child support, i wasn't do this right or that right regarding our dot. for the past 5 years or so, she slacked up a bit because she could tell she had totally turned my daughter off, but she never quit crying about the child support. plus, for the past 5 years or so she was blantantly running around on him......not even trying to hide it. well atleast now i wont have to worry about awkwardness at my daughter's future wedding........well, she is not even engaged yet but she will get married one day and the thought of having to share that day with her bugged the crap out of me. BUH-BYE, good riddance, farewell.

just to give you a little example of her ignorance......for the 1st 5 years after we seperated he voluntarily paid child support without a court order. he would just give her what he needed. when little girl came along............well ofcourse it stopped and ofcourse i hauled his butt to court. would you believe......now understand they were not married at this point.....that she interrupted the court proceedings......walked up to where we were standing with our lawyers and said something to the effect of " your honor, may i say something?? she (talking about me) has to understand that we are a family now and need this money. she(me) is remarried and they make good money and it's going to take away from us." i could not believe it...........as could no one else. the Judge told her if she didn't sit down and shut up she would hold her in contempt. needless to say, the court ordered the child support and he paid it until she turned 18. little girl could not stand it.

another thing she would do is for Christmas and birthdays, they would buy her gifts and not let her bring them home. WTH? she never got to bring anything home they bought her. while her stuff was there they would let the other kids there play with her stuff and tear it up so she never really got any use out of it. i never understood that but it royally pissed me off and aided in turning my dot off from her too. she dictated that i'm sure as he could have cared less.

poor ex tho, he is going to have to pay HER child support for the next 8 years, wonder if she'll want it or will let him go like she wanted me to do :rolleyes: fat chance

[Angel Lips]

glad that he has learned his lesson with her

[llbriteyes]

Well, there's something you and I can actually talk about. I come from both sides on this one.

If your husband had custody of her, I could understand her need to play step-mother, because it would be her house, and its confusing enough if the kids have to play by two sets of rules. Thank God you didn't have to deal with THAT. The wedding thing can turn really ugly, really fast. Ask me, I know. The exception there was that I did the raising.

It doesn't sound like he was complaining too much about the child support, but SHE was. Shame on her. Who would want a man who wouldn't WANT to take care of his child? I can't believe she actually did that in court. BAD decorum.

I don't understand though, where you're coming from on the presents thing. Didn't he have visitation at least? If so, she would need stuff at that house, with them. We would do the same thing with Amanda. She was allowed to take what she wanted with her to her mother's, but her mother bought her stuff for down there.

Good luck on your good fortune.

Linda



my ex is finally kicking his skanky cheating wife out the door. i swear, that "child" has caused me nothing but grief for the past 10 years. he met her when he was 27 and she was 17 and "our" daughter was 8. they shacked up together for the 1st 5 years or so and she pretended to be step mommy to my daughter and "tried" to tell me how to raise my daughter. she was 10 or so when my daughter was born so.............i really never put any stock into what she said. they finally got married after about 5 years and she really thought she had some say so then...NOT. my daughter turned 18 last year and i swear sometimes i think she stuck around just long enough to harrass me to death. constantly crying about child support, i wasn't do this right or that right regarding our dot. for the past 5 years or so, she slacked up a bit because she could tell she had totally turned my daughter off, but she never quit crying about the child support. plus, for the past 5 years or so she was blantantly running around on him......not even trying to hide it. well atleast now i wont have to worry about awkwardness at my daughter's future wedding........well, she is not even engaged yet but she will get married one day and the thought of having to share that day with her bugged the crap out of me. BUH-BYE, good riddance, farewell.

just to give you a little example of her ignorance......for the 1st 5 years after we seperated he voluntarily paid child support without a court order. he would just give her what he needed. when little girl came along............well ofcourse it stopped and ofcourse i hauled his butt to court. would you believe......now understand they were not married at this point.....that she interrupted the court proceedings......walked up to where we were standing with our lawyers and said something to the effect of " your honor, may i say something?? she (talking about me) has to understand that we are a family now and need this money. she(me) is remarried and they make good money and it's going to take away from us." i could not believe it...........as could no one else. the Judge told her if she didn't sit down and shut up she would hold her in contempt. needless to say, the court ordered the child support and he paid it until she turned 18. little girl could not stand it.

another thing she would do is for Christmas and birthdays, they would buy her gifts and not let her bring them home. WTH? she never got to bring anything home they bought her. while her stuff was there they would let the other kids there play with her stuff and tear it up so she never really got any use out of it. i never understood that but it royally pissed me off and aided in turning my dot off from her too. she dictated that i'm sure as he could have cared less.

poor ex tho, he is going to have to pay HER child support for the next 8 years, wonder if she'll want it or will let him go like she wanted me to do :rolleyes: fat chance

[ebgreen74]

Well if she was living with the guy for FIVE yrs, I'd hardly call it "playing stepmom". Obviously you don't like the woman and have probably taken part in turning your daughter against her as well, but I'm sure she did do some things at least to take care of your child while your she was there. I also can't understand the gift thing-your ex is supposed to pay for the gifts you buy your daughter+the ones he buys for her and he's supposed to send the gifts to your house?? Yes I am a step mom and NO we do not let the kids take things we buy them back to their mom's house either. Of course we had to learn to do this because she would sell anything we let the kids take back there. I believe every father should pay child support(just not the outrageous amounts that some are ordered to pay) and do not agree with the fact that this woman wanted your ex to pay nothing, unless your daughter was at their house 50% of the time. So, I can understand being ticked about that part at least.

[Njean31]

eb, to be stepmom i would first think it would be important to be married to the person which they were not (atleast not at first), and secondly she was 17 years old........not really an adult yet. i could have gotten over all that if she had been a nice and caring person which she wasn't. she only kept the gifts at their house to irk me.......to have control. i can guarantee that.........she knew i wasn't going to sell her stuff. by the way, when she turn 16 i bought her a very nice car which i had to pay payments on (still do pay payments on it and she is almost 19) and i guess he bought and paid for that too (in her mind). did you not read the part where they let the other kids there tear up the stuff they bought her? PLUS, he never paid for the gifts i bought her and the gift he bought her......WE paid for the gifts we bought her. that kind of sounds like something she was saying back then........"we pay your house payment, car payments, electric, blah blah" your vacations, and now add gifts?..........that little 75.oo a week sure did go far. i wonder how we survive now without his child support. and she was not there 50% of the time, more like 10%. she hated going, especially when her dad started drinking more and more because stepmommiedearest didn't come home for days.

now i can understand why you would keep the gifts if that mother would sell them, but i would never...not unless it was outgrown namebrand clothing .. then it probably would have went to ebay like the rest.

[Njean31]

Well, there's something you and I can actually talk about. I come from both sides on this one.

If your husband had custody of her, I could understand her need to play step-mother, because it would be her house, and its confusing enough if the kids have to play by two sets of rules. Thank God you didn't have to deal with THAT. The wedding thing can turn really ugly, really fast. Ask me, I know. The exception there was that I did the raising.

It doesn't sound like he was complaining too much about the child support, but SHE was. Shame on her. Who would want a man who wouldn't WANT to take care of his child? I can't believe she actually did that in court. BAD decorum.

I don't understand though, where you're coming from on the presents thing. Didn't he have visitation at least? If so, she would need stuff at that house, with them. We would do the same thing with Amanda. She was allowed to take what she wanted with her to her mother's, but her mother bought her stuff for down there.

Good luck on your good fortune.

Linda

thanks. the present thing just bugged me because they never let her bring one single thing home (by the way she always took a bag with her to their house with clothes and personal effects). the stuff they did buy her.......they kept there and the other kids would use and abuse it. they supposedly bought her a gocart one year and i definatley wouldn't have expected them to send that home but........she rode it on 2 or 3 visits until one of the older boys there tore up the engine somehow playing with it when she wasn't there. same thing with playstation one year, someone spilled a drink all over it and tore it up. i can understand though while some people would want to keep the stuff there so they could have it while they were visiting but not her. she did it out of meaness and let others tear the stuff up. she even wore out the clothes she bought her (streched them out :rolleyes: ) after she became a teenager.

[ebgreen74]

Yeah I can understand you and your daughter being upset about them letting the other kids break her stuff-that's not right at all. Sounds like this lady wasn't all there. Being a step mom, I know step parents can get a bad rep for no reason sometimes but sounds like yor daughter's ex-step mom is 1 of the bad apples. Also if your daughter was only there 10% of the time then I really don't see what that lady had to complain about(child support wise). I'm glad my DH is responsible for kids but he LOVES his kids and sees them all the time, which is why in our situation, the high child support bothers me. I love having the kids here too but its hard taking care of their needs at 2 houses ya know?

[Njean31]

Yeah I can understand you and your daughter being upset about them letting the other kids break her stuff-that's not right at all. Sounds like this lady wasn't all there. Being a step mom, I know step parents can get a bad rep for no reason sometimes but sounds like yor daughter's ex-step mom is 1 of the bad apples. Also if your daughter was only there 10% of the time then I really don't see what that lady had to complain about(child support wise). I'm glad my DH is responsible for kids but he LOVES his kids and sees them all the time, which is why in our situation, the high child support bothers me. I love having the kids here too but its hard taking care of their needs at 2 houses ya know?

yes, i can imagine. it's not fair to the dad sometimes........exwives can be so greedy , mean, and vindictive. all i ever wanted for my dot was a little help, he wasn't rich and living high on the hog and i would never dream of taking him to the cleaners. can't you do anything about the high child support if they are with ya'll so much?

also wanted to say that if this soon to be ex stepmommiedearest of my dot was normal, i could have had a decent relationship with them. i could have even had them over for dinner or celebrated dot's birthday together with them.........i'm weird like that. but, that never happened because of her. i'm just glad she is out of the picture even though my dot is grown (she thinks she's grown anyway) now.

[llbriteyes]

Being on the other end of that, and being a GREAT step-mother (I WAS), it hurt that Amanda's mother was so filled with hate she wouldn't allow me to be part of the HUGE steps during her older years, even though I raised her. Go figure.

Linda





also wanted to say that if this soon to be ex stepmommiedearest of my dot was normal, i could have had a decent relationship with them. i could have even had them over for dinner or celebrated dot's birthday together with them.........i'm weird like that. but, that never happened because of her. i'm just glad she is out of the picture even though my dot is grown (she thinks she's grown anyway) now.

[Njean31]

Being on the other end of that, and being a GREAT step-mother (I WAS), it hurt that Amanda's mother was so filled with hate she wouldn't allow me to be part of the HUGE steps during her older years, even though I raised her. Go figure.

Linda

she was probably resentful of the fact that you did raise her daughter and worried you'd have a better relationship with her than she does. that is sad. i would have shared all kinds of stuff with her, imo the more the merrier but she wouldn't allow it. it ends up hurting the kids in the end.

[ebgreen74]

No the mother lied about how much money she makes and we have no way to prove she lied so we're stuck. She is self employed. Things would be so much easier if all parents just cared more about their kids, rather than how much money they could get off of them.