I am so very very very depressed! My dh is leaving me!

[firechick]

Today my dh sent me an email from work saying that he thought he & I needed a break from each other..... :confused: I know things have been tough around here lately and he expects way more than I can give right now. He said a week or so ago about us being through but I didn't take him serious :eek: as I just thought he was frustrated and stressed out. Well, he came home and packed up some stuff and said he would keep in touch. I am devastated. My world has come crashing down. I do believe there is a girl at his work who wants him REALLY bad and she always flirts with him even if I am right there. She will pat his bottom and hug him and do those "wife or lover' things. I am not sure what to do. I can't believe he would do this to us. Well, I guess there really is nothing I can do to change his mind but pray!
Thanks for listening!
Kelly

[tarbabie]

so sorry to hear this Kelly- maybe he just needs alittle to realize what he is missing- hang in there kiddo! Hugs from NC...

[Victorious]

I'm sorry Kelly that you are going through this. I will keep you in my prayers. :(

[MamaFairal]

was he willing to talk about this at all or he just up and emailed ya he was going to leave?
I would just ask him about your suspicions(sp?)
((hugs))

[Shann]

*hugs* poor thing, I'm sorry this has happened to you, but I agree w/ mamafairal, you should try and talk with him and ask him about your suspicions. An e-mail really is not the best way to break up any kind of relationship. :(

[NINK]

that is terrible, break up over e-mail! i hope he is willing to have a serious talk with you-in person. i'm so sorry this is happening to you.

[halvarado]

i have been through this. my ex told me on the phone. i just want to give you a little advice. please, get everything out of his name and into yours, or out of your name and into his. i was left with 40K in debt, partly b/c i didn't react fast enough and he did. i know it is hard right now, and you are in shock. it will get better. just take it one day at a time. pm me if you want to talk.
((hugs))
heather

[Blondiex46]

I am so sorry, but you know you instincts are probably right so figure out what the next step is. I know you are upset but you have to keep your wits about you and make good decisions. If he decides to come back fine, but you have to take care of yourself now. You can be upset and depressed but cover yourself (if you know what I mean) Good luck

[shellysms]

(((Kelly))) I am so sorry...I'm really sad for you!! I'm just sorry!! I hope he realizes what he is doing. I hope it works out for you. Hang in there!!

[roseanntx]

i have been through this. my ex told me on the phone. i just want to give you a little advice. please, get everything out of his name and into yours, or out of your name and into his. i was left with 40K in debt, partly b/c i didn't react fast enough and he did. i know it is hard right now, and you are in shock. it will get better. just take it one day at a time. pm me if you want to talk.
((hugs))
heather


GOOD ADVICE!!!

When your world comes crashing down around you it's hard to think straight. I've been there also & I wish I would've/could've taken the above advice.

Hope things turn out well for you---(((firechick)))

[ocvachick]

sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way

[Tracy'sMom]

Sending Prayers for You.

[firechick]

was he willing to talk about this at all or he just up and emailed ya he was going to leave?
I would just ask him about your suspicions(sp?)
((hugs))

I asked him to please lets talk and he ignored me and didn't say a word the entire 10 minutes he was here. We have been togeher forever and we have 4 kids. I thibk its all about sex. I couldn't have it for awhile when I found out about the cancer and its been a little different with our relationship weekly but it didn't dawn on me he would actually leave. He did say tonight on the phone though that he would talk to me when he was ready. I asked him what does he want me to tell our kids and he actually had the nerve to say tell them we have fallen out of love and needed a break. I sobbed heavily at that remark and said I did NOT fall out of love with you and I still love you. I told him we could work this out and he just said well, I have to go Bye! CLCIK! I don't have anything in my name except our phone and NIMO. (electric) I am still in shock. I did also ask him about Tanya and he said "I'm not screwing her" I so wanted to retort back and say "NOT YET ANYWAYS" I love this man whole heartedly. I hurt so bad. My kids don't understand why mommys so sad and crying. I try to stop but everywhere I look I see him even when I go to our room and see his dirty socks still on his side of the bed floor. Well, I will update you's as soon as I know what his plans are!
Thanks!
Kelly

[freeplease]

You need to get a lawyer today. Obviously this man isn't concerned with you or the kids. Somebody has to be the rational one, and it may as well be you.

[Bud_Girl76]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that.. ((((HUGS)))) Be strong for those kids..

[Tasha405]

((((Hugs))))

[june72]

God bless your heart..............just hang in there and don't forget the Lord is on your side so you are not entirely alone. Many hugs and prayers coming your way.

[YankeeMary]

Please know that you are in my prayers. God Bless and HUGS!!!

[purplerose23]

Kelly,

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this! I went through the same thing in 2002, only 6 months after we wed! I felt devistated also, but mine was alittle stranger. He never told me what happened! He started staying at our family friends house more and more, drinking more. It then came out by my own detective work. He ALSO had a girl at work who had the hots for him! She called several times a day (once I decided to stand up and give him 30 days and I moved) He had the gall to ask me out on my birthday and still call her! He also had her at the volunteer firefighter Christmas party that year! He started his own fire there, had em all angry!!! Well, now, he did me a GREAT favor! HE is stuck with her instead of free as he requested, and hung hiself in the divorce by her being pregnant! I saw him yesterday and he had a screaming child and her lugging a cart around in Target! He just stared and she stopped and froze thinking I was going to kick her! I wanted to shake her hand and thank her! I could not be better off now, and Kelly you can be too..............you should not take the pain though and do what you need to for YOU. If you would like to talk, PM me ANYTIME! :) YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

[Angel Lips]

((((hugs)))) hun im soo sorry you have to go through this, and the worst part is reading it through an email im soo sorry

[wubbywa]

Many people have been thru what you are going thru. I have, mine didnt even call he just left and never came home. It hurts like heck yes!! You wonder do you go with your heart or do you go with your brain. Also think do you really want someone back that could hurt you so bad and your kids. I wasted to much time trying to "fix him" that I lost to much time with my sone because I was so hurt and depressed. I kick myself a lot for that. I am now happy in a new marriage. You will find your way again. Put you and your kids first and him last.

[ang in NC]

So sorry, no advice, just prayers. May God bless you w/ peace. I would try to get what ever I could asap.

[tracyb]

many prayers that the Lords sends a comforter for you in this time of your need

[queenangie]

Warm hugs & prayers to Jesus.

Get The Best lawyer available, dear.

[delSol]

Kelly,

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this! I went through the same thing in 2002, only 6 months after we wed! I felt devistated also, but mine was alittle stranger. He never told me what happened! He started staying at our family friends house more and more, drinking more. It then came out by my own detective work. He ALSO had a girl at work who had the hots for him! She called several times a day (once I decided to stand up and give him 30 days and I moved) He had the gall to ask me out on my birthday and still call her! He also had her at the volunteer firefighter Christmas party that year! He started his own fire there, had em all angry!!! Well, now, he did me a GREAT favor! HE is stuck with her instead of free as he requested, and hung hiself in the divorce by her being pregnant! I saw him yesterday and he had a screaming child and her lugging a cart around in Target! He just stared and she stopped and froze thinking I was going to kick her! I wanted to shake her hand and thank her! I could not be better off now, and Kelly you can be too..............you should not take the pain though and do what you need to for YOU. If you would like to talk, PM me ANYTIME! :) YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!


I agree - how terrible for you but may it be the best thing that ever happened to you and your kids. Karma work your magic!

[schsa]

Start protecting your assets. Pull as much money out of the bank as you can. If he has direct deposit, get to it before he does and take everything but $5. You now have 4 kids to support and he is living with his honey without a care in the world.

Get the better car in your name or the one that is paid off. Take your name off of any joint credit cards so that anything he charges from here on in is not part of the marital debt. Get all of the utilities in your name so at least they will be paid.

And see a lawyer first thing Monday morning. You have 4 kids that are going to need you now and you need to see that their rights are protected as well. He can't get out that easily. See if you can file for temporary child support until the divorce is over.

Find out where he has all of his money. 401 K, insurance polices, CD's. Look for everything. Don't give him the opportunity to hid any of his assets. You have to consider this a form of warfare and you want to win the war not just a few battles.

[KeliMom]

So sorry you're going through this, I've been there myself and it's not fun or easy. You've been given alot of good advice already, just wanted to say good luck and stay strong girl! You can do it, just remember those kids, okay?

[lassss]

Start protecting your assets. Pull as much money out of the bank as you can. If he has direct deposit, get to it before he does and take everything but $5. You now have 4 kids to support and he is living with his honey without a care in the world.

Get the better car in your name or the one that is paid off. Take your name off of any joint credit cards so that anything he charges from here on in is not part of the marital debt. Get all of the utilities in your name so at least they will be paid.

And see a lawyer first thing Monday morning. You have 4 kids that are going to need you now and you need to see that their rights are protected as well. He can't get out that easily. See if you can file for temporary child support until the divorce is over.

Find out where he has all of his money. 401 K, insurance polices, CD's. Look for everything. Don't give him the opportunity to hid any of his assets. You have to consider this a form of warfare and you want to win the war not just a few battles.

ITA..protect you and your little ones first and foremost..I know you want this relationship to work out but right now you need to start planning in case it doesn't. Take inventory of every asset you have..take pictures of everything in the house in case he decides to come get it. If you think he is having a fling, check his cel records, you can even check it online. If he is not living in the house anymore, file for spousal support and domestic relations. You really do need to see a lawyer, they will work with you on payments..keep us posted