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View Full Version : I have a question for those who have children.



Tasha405
04-02-2005, 03:07 PM
DH & I had planned on taking a vacation alone (without the kids) this year but it didn't work out as planned. So we are taking our kids, my mom, DH's mom and my nephew. I'm so excited and can't wait to go!

Anyway, I was wondering if any other parents out there take vacations away from their kids? What are your thoughts on it?

We had planned on taking one alone because we never even had a honeymoon when we got married (almost 6 yrs ago) and haven't been financially stable enough to take a vacation since. I'm excited though, even though we aren't going alone because this will be our first family vacation. (unless you count trips to WV to visit family)

Our kids usually go to WV during the summer and stay with their grandparents for a week or two, without DH & I. So I though that since we couldn't take our trip away like we had planned that maybe we can go away for a weekend while they are in WV. (last year when they went we were stuck painting the whole inside of the house and dh worked everyday too)

DH's cousin and her husband never take their kids on vacation with them. They always go alone. But they do things with their kids throughout the year. Like trips to aquariums, the zoo, weekends away here and there.

She is like me and has her kids 24/7. The only break she gets is when her kids also go back to WV to visit family or when one of the older kids (who are adults) watch them for just a few hours or something like that. So I can see her wanting a break and wanting to get away as I feel the same way. But... what I don't agree with are the places they go without their kids. lol

They have taken several trips to Disney World without their kids. Their kids have never been and they don't plan on taking them for several more years. All of her kids are in school, so I really don't agree with that. One year they took a trip out west and was in the car most of the trip so I could see not taking the kids with them then.

I guess I'm just feeling guilty about wanting to get away from it all and have a little time to myself. :o lol

I have my kids all the time. I'm a sahm and can't drive, so they go everywhere I go, along with DH. We have no family or friends here so we don't even get a few hours break every once in while. Like I said before, the only break we get are when our kids go to WV during the summer.

So what is your thoughts on taking a vacation without the kids? Have you ever done it? Would you ever do it?

Eyore
04-02-2005, 03:14 PM
When my kids were smaller and growing up my kids went everywhere with us. I probably would have taken some mini vacations if I had someone to watch the kids but I didn't.
I don't see anything wrong with taking occasional vacations without the kids.
If you were to go to Vegas or something like that I don't think you would want to take the kids. Even maybe a few days to the beach without kids would be fine. But I couldn't go to Disney and not take my kids, to me that wouldn't be right. They would have never let me hear the end of that if I had done that. I would have paid for it in the long run.
So don't feel bad, if the opportunity comes again to go alone on a vacation without the kids go for it.

twinkiesmom
04-02-2005, 03:15 PM
Our kids usually go to WV during the summer and stay with their grandparents for a week or two, without DH & I. So I though that since we couldn't take our trip away like we had planned that maybe we can go away for a weekend while they are in WV.

OMG - If I had that kind of opportunity . . . . kids at grandparents for a week or so - I'd jump at the opportunity for a vacation alone w/the dh. Why only make it a weekend? See if dh will take time off of work for a cpl days and make it a little longer? I would. Instead of making plans on making the house all pretty, make plans on a vacation. I wouldn't feel guilty. You need some 'adult' time. Go for it!

Tasha405
04-02-2005, 03:17 PM
But I couldn't go to Disney and not take my kids, to me that wouldn't be right.
That's how I feel too. Its a place for kids and yet you didn't take yours. I just couldn't do it. I would feel like I was being mean to them or something. LOL

Thanks for the reply! :)

Tracy'sMom
04-02-2005, 03:29 PM
Tasha I to always have my daughter with me. Until just about a month ago I couldnt go to the mailbox by myself. My daughther wouldnt stay with her Daddy. It wasnt that She was afraid of Him She was a Momma's girl well now everything is Daddy. Hubby and I have had a couple nights to ourself and they are always great. Since Your children spend a week with their Grandparents I dont see what it would hurt for You and the DH to take a vacation.
I also dont agree with the other family going to Disney. Their kids would love that. If We could afford to go to Disney then my daughter would most defintely be there with me.
Dont feel bad about taking a break everybody needs one.

lassss
04-02-2005, 03:38 PM
I have always had my son with me on vacation and when my ex and I divorced, I learned something very important....you need your adult time away from the kids. When my son went to his father's for the weekend, I missed him terribly but wow did I have a great time..time just for me to go and be an adult. My bf and I are planning to head to FL in the next few weeks for a long weekend vacation WITHOUT kids. He also learned (being a widower) that he too needed to have adult time to go be a man.

So do NOT feel guilty about taking some time to be alone together without kids. They will be taken care of and call them once or twice a day to keep in contact and go enjoy yourself!!!! :D

nanajoanie
04-02-2005, 03:40 PM
Time for Mom and Dad to take a vacation even to Disney without the kids. Why do they have to know. If you must tell them, tell them you are checking it out for a future vacation. When my kids were little, all we could afford was camping in a tent. We were friends with other campers so we put the adults in a couple tents and the kids in the others. Don't know the age of your kids but you should be able to decide where you want to go. One of my grandgirls was upset with her parents upong returning from a trip to Disney with her other grandparents. She was upset because her parents wouldn't take her on a Disney Cruise she had seen advertised on TV. Kids don't need everything all the time...........................................

kelly12569
04-02-2005, 04:09 PM
I would LOVE to have a vacation without the kids. I would LOVE to have a vacation period for that matter. DH and I have gone on one trip in the 11 yrs we've been together and that was to Virginia Beach and we took all 5 of the kids and we stayed at his brothers house. We went to the beach for maybe an hour, tops. I was so bummed as that was the first time Id ever seen the ocean :eek: LOL and wanted to enjoy it. We did go to a theme park but other than that we spent the week at his brothers house with our 5 kids, their 3 younger kids, their married son with his wife and new baby and their married daughter :eek: So wasnt really a vacation. Girl, I say if you get the opportunity go for it!! I too agree that the disney world/land thing without the kids is wrong to me. DH's ex went on a trip to Disneyland last year with her "husband" and told the boys all about going before they left , went on the boys weekend to be with her so they were left here with us, were there for a WEEK and didnt even so much as send them a postcard or bring them a sovenier. I was livid! We'll probably never be able to afford to go somewhere like that but Id love to take the kids there.

Anyways... didnt mean to ramble OT but yes, I think you are entitled to a vacation without the kids. Like you, dh and I didnt have a honeymoon either and would love the opportunity to get away from the kiddies for a few days. Just to regain some of my sanity Ive lost throughout the last 11 yrs....LOL

renagade
04-02-2005, 06:55 PM
No! Don't feel bad about leaving the kids and taking some time for yourself. Everyone needs down time and alone time with their men. We did every year after the kids got about 5 or so. We went for a week to the ocean or Branson or just somewhere. The kids got to go to california with the grandparents and see Disney land and they were okay with us having our time. When my son turned 16 we took him and daughter to the ocean. We also went to Mexico. That was our only vacation with the kids and it was fun.It was a one time-last time together. Son married when he turned 17 so I was glad we had one good vacation together. If you get the chance for a vacation just the two of you-Go for it and enjoy.

kimp67
04-02-2005, 07:02 PM
I have taken a weekend maybe once or twice a year, but that's it. IMHO vacations are for the whole family. If my kid was away for a week or two in the summer, I would probably do it then, maybe go away for the whole week only if I could afford to take them somewhere for at least most of a week.

Tasha405
04-02-2005, 07:22 PM
Thanks for all of the replies.

We do stuff with our kids when we can, so its not like they never get to do anything. Then they get their week or two (sometimes longer) in WV during the summer and they are out and about during that time too. So I know we should get away while we have the chance (when they are in WV) but I just kinda feel guilty or something. Maybe its because I'm with them all the time?

I believe that next year DH will start getting three weeks vacation. If so, we have talked about us taking a week to ourselves and then taking 5 or so days to take the kids somewhere during the summer. I think that would be good, if we can work it out financially. That way we each get a vacation, we have some family time and some alone time. ;)

Thanks again yall.

I'm really leaning toward us going somewhere when the kids are gone. The thought of it really seems lovely. I get so sick of being home 24/7. lol Now I just need to think of somewhere to go. I would like to stay in Ohio but away from home. LOL Anyone have any good suggestions?

tommyjo
04-02-2005, 10:45 PM
OMG - If I had that kind of opportunity . . . . kids at grandparents for a week or so - I'd jump at the opportunity for a vacation alone w/the dh. Why only make it a weekend? See if dh will take time off of work for a cpl days and make it a little longer? I would. Instead of making plans on making the house all pretty, make plans on a vacation. I wouldn't feel guilty. You need some 'adult' time. Go for it!
JMHO, but if kids are gone, why do ya need a "vacation" that costs money? unplug the phone, eat out, and enjoy your home? costs much less and is really more relaxing, as long as ya TURN OFF THE PHONE.

lassss
04-03-2005, 05:47 AM
JMHO, but if kids are gone, why do ya need a "vacation" that costs money? unplug the phone, eat out, and enjoy your home? costs much less and is really more relaxing, as long as ya TURN OFF THE PHONE.

Sometimes it's nice to head to the beach (if you don't already live near one) or have someone else cater to you. If you stay at home, you still hafta cook (sometimes) and clean and make the bed lol. Just a change of scenery is nice instead of the old routine

Eyore
04-03-2005, 06:13 AM
I believe that next year DH will start getting three weeks vacation. If so, we have talked about us taking a week to ourselves and then taking 5 or so days to take the kids somewhere during the summer. I think that would be good, if we can work it out financially. That way we each get a vacation, we have some family time and some alone time. ;)

Thanks again yall.

I'm really leaning toward us going somewhere when the kids are gone. The thought of it really seems lovely. I get so sick of being home 24/7. lol Now I just need to think of somewhere to go. I would like to stay in Ohio but away from home. LOL Anyone have any good suggestions?

Sounds like a very good idea Tasha. If the kids are already away and you have the money to do it then there is really nothing to keep you from a vacation for you and hubby. Go and enjoy yourselves.

YankeeMary
04-03-2005, 06:16 AM
Well I think if you and DH want a vacation, the go for it. If I had someone to stay with the kids, trust me we would go, even if it were to disneyland (though I truly doubt that, since disneyland is for kids, why would I want to go there and put up with others kids when I don't have to put up with my own???) But the way I look at it is, when they are adults they can go on vacations. DH and I had a trip planned to Ireland this past October without the kids, we would have gone but SD got real ill and landed in the hospital so our trip was put on hold. Believe me when time allows we are still going and without kids. If the kids do not like it then it gives them something to save for when they become adults and work and earn a vacation. I do not think I could vacation without them if they never got to do anything. But we are forever taking mini-vacations with them.
Bottom line Tasha, GO FOR IT!!!

kelly12569
04-03-2005, 09:39 AM
JMHO, but if kids are gone, why do ya need a "vacation" that costs money? unplug the phone, eat out, and enjoy your home? costs much less and is really more relaxing, as long as ya TURN OFF THE PHONE.



Sometimes thats just not enough. You want a change of scenery other than staring at your same walls,etc. Plus on vacation then someone else could wait on her for a change. She wouldnt be doing the dishes, the housekeeping, cooking, etc which some of us just need to get away from every now and then. Staying at home and relaxing just isnt the same for some ppl, especially the ones who never get out. There's a whole big world outside of our homes and some of us dont ever get out in it. :( But it is a good idea for some ppl who just need to relax a little without needing to get away. ;)

Tasha405
04-03-2005, 10:53 AM
Sometimes thats just not enough. You want a change of scenery other than staring at your same walls,etc. Plus on vacation then someone else could wait on her for a change. She wouldnt be doing the dishes, the housekeeping, cooking, etc which some of us just need to get away from every now and then. Staying at home and relaxing just isnt the same for some ppl, especially the ones who never get out. There's a whole big world outside of our homes and some of us dont ever get out in it. :( But it is a good idea for some ppl who just need to relax a little without needing to get away. ;)
Exactly! :D

I want away from it all.... the kids, the house, the household duties and all. lol If I stay home then I still have to do all of the cleaning, cooking and so on. I stay home all the time. The only time I get out of the house is to go to the store one day a week, thats it. So getting out and away would be a dream come true for me. lol

kimp67
04-03-2005, 02:00 PM
Don't know where you are in Ohio, but what about the Rock-n-Roll hall of fame? I would love to check that out someday. Or, the pro football hall of fame. Would be another cool (IMO)place to go.

Eyore
04-03-2005, 07:23 PM
Here's some links for things to do in Ohio. Poke around in them maybe you can find some useful info or info to send for.

http://www.discoverohio.com/home.asp

http://www2.thingstodo.com/states/OH/sw.htm

Free things to do in Ohio
http://www.free-attractions.com/state_pages/ohio.htm

Tasha405
04-04-2005, 04:00 AM
Thanks yall! We've been in Ohio for a little over a year now (was a yr. in Feb.) and we still don't know much about it. :o DH works all the time and I stay home all the time. LOL

I'm going to look around and see what kind of stuff I can plan for us. ;) :D

JazzMama
04-04-2005, 07:49 AM
We had planned on taking one alone because we never even had a honeymoon when we got married (almost 6 yrs ago) and haven't been financially stable enough to take a vacation since.

Actually, we did this last year for the same reason. DD was 3 and she stayed 1/2 a week with my mother-in-law and the other 1/2 with my mom. We called every other night and half the time she didn't even want to talk b/c she was having too much fun :rolleyes: . We ended up taking a mini-family-vacation in December to Branson for 2 nights and she had a blast!

Anyways, this year, she's going w/ us to Wisconsin for a week. I don't have any strong views on it either way. We usually take a mini-trip (2 nights) every year though just hubby and me. Otherwise, she's everywhere we are.

rlynn411
04-04-2005, 12:14 PM
We have taken several trips to St John in the US Virgin Islands and a cruise to the Bahamas without our kids.

We just have my sister or a grandparent come and stay with the kids and they do fine!