is this harrassment???

[irrelevant0]

is it considered harrassment if someone calls you over and over and over and emails you and sends you instant messages, after you have told them 7 billion times to leave you alone??? since he is not stalking me or anything, i don't know if i can do anything about it since nothing physical is going on.

anyone else had to deal with this? he is driving me nuts. when we were together he was always threatening to leave over the stupidest things. one day i had enough and said you won't have to, i'm leaving now.

YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?! :mad:

i have told him i would call the police on him, and he said i can't because what he is doing is not harrassment. i know it is, but is it to the authorities? and if so, would they help me or would it be a waste of my time?

[Kelsey1224]

It was my understanding that stalking isn't only defined as physically following you.

I would consider this harrassment and stalking.

Can't you block his IM's and e-mails? I would also change my phone number. Don't let him get to you.

Here is a link which should help you. What he is doing IS considered stalking based on this web site.

http://www.stalkingbehavior.com/

Here is more information:

There are several signs that are good indicators of stalking behavior. It is also important to consider the intensity of such behaviors.
1. Persistent phone calls despite being told not to contact in any form.

2. Waiting at workplace or in neighborhood.

3. Threats.

4. Manipulative behavior (for example: threatening to commit suicide in order to get a response to such an "emergency" in the form of contact).

5. Sending written messages: letters, emails, graffiti...

6. Sending gifts from the seemingly "romantic" (flowers and/or candy) to the bizarre (dog teeth, a bed pan, a blood soaked feather) (Dietz et al. 1991b).

7. Defamation: The stalker often lies to others about the victim (claims of infidelity, for example).

8. "Objectification": The stalker derogates the victim, reducing him/her to an object -- this allows the stalker the ability to feel angry with the victim without experiencing empathy (Meloy and Gothard, 1995).

[fishydish]

Absolutely.

Phone Harassment

* Many have experienced unpleasant anonymous phone calls. New trends include harassment by SMS, MMS etc.
* The following can be dealt as phone harassment.
o Making phone calls without a legitimate purpose.
o Repeatedly making anonymous phone calls.
o Repeatedly phoning at extremely inconvenient hours.
o Repeatedly phoning using offensive, coarse, or obscene language.
o Person telephones and intentionally fails to hang up or disengage the phone connection.
* The affected parties can approach the local police.
* If you intend to give a complaint, do not delete the offensive material like SMS messages / Received call register in your mobile. They may have clues that will help in apprehending the criminal.
* The city police also invite the public to contact us with their useful suggestions or intention to offer their services in their area of specialization or interest.
* For emergency complaints contact the / Control Room 100 / SMS 98407 00100. [Top]

TIPS TO PREVENT / HANDLE PHONE HARASSMENT

* If you are receiving annoying or harassing calls, immediately fix a Caller Identification Device to your phone. Make note of the number, time and maintain a log.
* Also note down description of caller’s voice, background noises etc.
* This information should be passed on to the police official handling your complaint, to help them trace the origin of the calls.
* Never engage the caller in conversation.
* Never answer personal questions or give out information to an unknown caller.
* Unplug your phone temporarily if necessary. [Top]

[Tadbit]

This is harassment. I hope you saved all your emails and copied them so you have proof though. Is there anyway you can block his instant messages. I know on MSN you can block someone who is sending you messages. I'm not sure if your police would or even could do anything about it but they may be able to help you in some manner. It wouldn't hurt to ask. You should be able to block all his emails as well, then when they bounce back to him, he will know you mean business. Does this guy work with you? You didn't say, but if he does, then you definitely have a harassment complaint and you can take it to your employer. They have to do something about it or they can be sued. If this is just someone on the internet, then I would suggest you put a block on their emails and contact your ISP.

[angelarwyn]

This is exactly what my ex did to me and my police department said it was stalking and not harassment. As long as you kept all the stuff that he sends you and keep logs of when he calls you, it seems that you could get a restraining order against him. Some people will stop with just a stern talking to by the police, but there are many that won't. Please don't take his stalking lightly. People can turn completely crazy in a second, I know.

[YankeeMary]

When he calls dial *57, it should connect you to a recording and they will investigate and send it to the police department and the person that calls can and lose their phone over this. Let me say this, my ex had a girlfriend that called constantly to MY house. I did the *57 and they removed service from her house. This was a few years ago so the numbers or process might have changed, if so I am sure there is a way. Call the phone company and ask them. Or simply change your number, which is really inconvient since everyone has the current number.
If you are talking to him when he calls then I know this won't work nor will anything else you try to do. Do not answer his calls or respond to his emails, he may look at it as you are leading him on if you do. Also if I were you I would print out all the emails and IMs incase something happens to your computer at least you would have proof.

[twinkiesmom]

emails and pm's can be blocked. I know thru my phone srvc, you can block phone numbers too.

[Amyjean]

This is definitely harassment. An ex did this to me too and I got an order of protection. This was over two years ago and after we broke up he called about 20 times and e-mailed me about 15 times a day. I would block his e-mail address and he'd make up a new one immediately. Somehow he got my other AOL screen names that were brand new (this is still a mystery) and sent e-mails to them as well. He'd call me at work, "bump" into me on the street, call my cell phone. It was like a cat and mouse game. He was like a burglar attempting every possible entry into someone's home. I didn't log any of this info for over a month because I didn't think of it and thought he would stop but he didn't. After a month of logging all these contacts (phone logs and e-mail print-outs) I went to the police and they went to his home to arrest him for aggravated harassment. Somewhere in his sick mind he refused to believe that I didn't want contact with him. He wrote that these "outside forces" were keeping us apart. He violate the order and was in jail for a week. The judge signed another restraining order that included all contact and any third party contact. The order expired about a year ago and since then he e-mailed or called maybe 20 times. A few months ago, after he sent weekly e-mails, I wrote back blasting him and again told him to stop. According to what I just read on stalkingbehavior.com (thanks Kelsey!) I shouldn't have done that because it just inflames the person. He called several times after that but since then he hasn't sent any e-mails. However, I think the phone calls/hang-ups at all old hours are from him. I called the police again about this but unfortunately, now they can't do anything. Apparently in New York there is a new law that calls this behavior "freedom of speech." :( Someone who was making lots of phone calls and sending e-mail to a local legislator was arrested for harassment. This person countersued the police department, claiming it's his right to free speech. Unless he actually makes a threat, I don't have a case. I don't want to change my phone number because it's so inconvenient (as YankeeMary mentioned) but also because I refuse to make these changes on account of this person.

I know, it can drive you nuts. I cracked two molars from the stress. It's his way of controlling you and it's obsessive-compulsive behavior. So yes, it's harassment and it's worth calling the police. Even if they say it's not enough to qualify as harassment, at least you're setting up the possibility of showing a pattern of behavior. Hugs.

[irrelevant0]

thank everyone.

he is not from the internet. i met him through a friend at his apartment a little over a year ago, we just broke up last month.

he doesn't call my house because i live with my parents and he is scared of them. i can block his email and instant messages, but he has so many it will take forever to block them all. and he will just make more. i am going to start saving everything he sends me. i don't know how to block a number on my cell phone. i am thinking about just changing it.

he has called my cell, and my friends have told him not to call me again, and that didn't deter him at all. he knows i am 'talking' to someone else, and that just makes it worse. he's been bugging me to call him and hang out constantly lately.

thanks for all the advice, it has helped a lot. :)

[DreamWorld]

It sounds like cyber stalking. Notify your local police department and your ISP.

Good luck!

[MamaFairal]

They always want what they cant have huh?
He had it and made you leave and now he cant handle being without you.....
..boohoo for him :(

[msmom79]

I Totally Agree With Mama. They Dont Want You ,till Someone Else Does ,then The Crap Starts.my Prayers Are With You Dear.pm Me If You Need To Talk Or Just Some To Listen.hugs To You,ann

[hazeleyedgal]

If he is using AOL messenger you can report him to AOL and he will be banned. I dont' know about the other messengers services but you can e-mail or call them to find out. Good Luck

[Jaxx]

yep sounds like he's stalking you

[schsa]

Change your e-mail address and then you can collect whatever he sends you in your old e-mail address. Change your IM log on to something completely off the wall that he won't recognize. Or change your IM service.

Keep records and call the phone company and the police and his ISP provider. You can do this.