eat the food!

[irrelevant0]

i recently moved back in with my parents. they share all their food and drinks with me, and they won't take any money for rent. (i hide the money in purses, wallets, check book, pockets - i find it back in the same places in my stuff) i buy groceries, and i say "eat these, i bought them to share." they won't eat my food. :( if they do they're always asking "hey, can i have some of this?" *scream* EAT THE FOOD! you're making me feel bad people! at least take my money if you won't eat my food.

[cpbaby]

Yeah, parents are funny that way. They think they are supposed to take care of you.

Why not put the money back and when you are ready to move back out, buy them something nice, maybe a few days at Gatlinburg or something?

[schsa]

I am 48 years old and make a very good living. Recently my dad had surgery and I went to stay with my mom while he was in the hospital. She kept wanting to give me money for gas, food, buy my lunch at the hospital, etc. It makes me nuts. At Christmas time I brought all sorts of breads from a bakery near me that she likes. And she wanted to give me money then.

I agree. Put some money away and give them a gift certificate or something like that that they can't give back to you. Otherwise you will never win. They just think that they have to take care of you.

[LitWtch]

If they won't accept the money, and won't eat the food, and you want to help out, then why not take the electric bill, or cable, or whatever, and pay it on your own for them? Certainly they cannot reject that!

[nightrider127]

i recently moved back in with my parents. they share all their food and drinks with me, and they won't take any money for rent. (i hide the money in purses, wallets, check book, pockets - i find it back in the same places in my stuff) i buy groceries, and i say "eat these, i bought them to share." they won't eat my food. :( if they do they're always asking "hey, can i have some of this?" *scream* EAT THE FOOD! you're making me feel bad people! at least take my money if you won't eat my food.

Have you ever stopped to think that being able to do this may be making them happy?

I was 55 years old when my sweet Daddy passed away. He did the same thing. I finally gave up on trying to stop him from doing for me. I think it gave him pleasure that he was able to take me out for a meal or buy me a gift from time to time.

[mistressB]

i recently moved back in with my parents. they share all their food and drinks with me, and they won't take any money for rent. (i hide the money in purses, wallets, check book, pockets - i find it back in the same places in my stuff) i buy groceries, and i say "eat these, i bought them to share." they won't eat my food. :( if they do they're always asking "hey, can i have some of this?" *scream* EAT THE FOOD! you're making me feel bad people! at least take my money if you won't eat my food.

they'll get over it after awhile. just let it be and use all that extra cash to save up. if you feel bad try to do extra things around the house as a surprise. i'm sure they'd appriciate it.

[renagade]

My daughter moved back in with me after her first marriage went bad. She kept trying to pay for stuff and I kept taking the money and putting it back in her savings account. It drove her crazy but I didn't want her money. I just enjoyed being with her. Just enjoy your folks-they love you and just want to be near you and help you with stuff. Now that shes married again I go help with my two sweet granddaughters and she trys to pay me. I just stick it on the fridge or put in the girls piggy bank when I leave. Sometimes I let her put a little gas in my car but thats it. Like I said I just enjoy being around my kids and I don't need any pay for that. Enjoy your folks while you have them.They won't be around forever. My hubby has lost both his parents now and I just have dad left. ENJOY THEM and quit fretting!!!!!! They love you.

[turbob]

LOL- reminded me of my gma - she would pay me for cleaning her garage, or some other heavy work - I would hide the money in her dresser, closet,etc, and when I would get home, I would find it in my suitcase! Thanks for a good memory - and I agree with cpbaby & schsa - just save it up and a get a gc for something they enjoy or a trip somewhere.

[Urban Cowgirl]

I know exactly what you mean. We are going to moving in with the in laws in march and will be for around a year. I told them lets sit down and come to an agreement on room and board and stuff. Well they don't want room and board.....so I tell them well electric and stuff will go up so I want to help towards that. she probably will let us help out.......but it might be like pulling teeth!! LOL Just remember they love you. maybe you could just pick them up something (gift wise) that they would enjoy but would not purchase themselves..........pay back you know?? LOL

[tammy77]

I remember one time when my husband and I took my grandma out for dinner.When the check came she wanted to know how much it was and tryed to give us money.I told her grandma this is OUR treat but she still tryed to give us money.Finally I told my husband just go up there and pay,you can run faster then her...lol.We all got a good laught out of that.Then I told her she could leave the tip.When my parents go over there to do things for her she use to try to pay them but they would never take it.Now she just takes them out for dinner.They let her do it because she doesnt get out much.She is moving down here so we can take care of since my parents are retired and will be rving.I have a feeling that she will probably want to take us out to dinner for helping her.I will probably let her do it every so often since we dont have the money to go out and eat but it wont be an all the time thing since I wouldnt feel right about it.Maybe you can take your parents out to dinner and pay the check before they can.

[Shann]

If it upsets you, you could sit down w/ them and let them know how thankful you are that they allowed you to move back in and tell them it would make you happier if they accepted some money or let you buy groceries every now and again. If they will not accept that, you can ask them what you can do to help out and let them know how thankful you are. If there is nothing they will let you do, I like the idea of taking a bill or two and paying it and if they ask if you've seen it you can let them know you've taken care of it. :)

[schsa]

And also at Christmas time I got a flat tire. My dad got me to his mechanic and insisted on putting the charges on his bill. Like I didn't have $10 to pay to have my tire fixed.

There are some times you can't fight with them. So save it up for a rainy day and pass it back to them.

[buglebe]

Our 40 year old daughter has moved back in with us. She has been here about 8 months. We love having her here. I haven't noticed much difference in groceries or anything else. She occassionally goes to the grocery store and buys groceries. I occassionally will eat something she has bought but I don't often. DH does!! Daughter likes to cook low carb meals to use for a couple of days but after she offers it to her dad it is usually gone :eek: We love having here with us but my only reservations are that something should happen to one of us like a stroke or something and then she would feel like she couldn't move out. She says she is saving to buy a house but I don't think she is. We enjoy every second she is here.

[irrelevant0]

thanks everyone. :) i like the idea of saving up to buy them something they can't give back. paying the bill sounds good, but they always get to the mail before me and pay them right away. now, i just have to figure out something really nice what they could both agree on. :p

[faygokraze]

Iwould just put the money in a savings account! Maybe once you get enough money in there, do something nice for them? Send em on a trip or whatever they like.

[MsLynn]

I think i'd just go and pay some on the utitlites at the utility office, that way all theywill know is that their bills are lower and have credits onthem

[Judy]

My Hubby and I are so guilty of this. We hate to take anything at all from our kids. Even though I know they have way more than us, we just can't do it. I think it's because it was so opposite for the Hubby and me, our parents only took took took....Not money, we didn't have any...No they pretty near took our being!
They must love you so much but at the same time I don't know what to tell ya kiddo. Because we are so GUILTY :) Another thing I do is amke tons of extra food and bring left overs to them.....
Hang in there, it could be worst you know ;)

[andreame70]

This thread took me back to a time in my life when I moved back in with my parents. I was 26 and in the process of getting a divorce from my ex-husband. My Dad was so intent on me "having to save" for the divorce, that he and Mom would not take a dime from me. Lord knows I tried. Eventually, what I had to do was go to the store when they weren't going to be home, so I could unload the groceries and mix them in with the other things in the cabinets. That way, My Dad thought my Mom had bought it and my Mom thought my Dad had bought it. They caught on to this before long (Dad to Mom: "I thought you bought this. Mom to Dad: "No, I didn't buy it, I thought you did." Me: Busted.)

Anyway, before long, I was sneaking up and pulling a bill or two off of Dad's desk when he wasn't at home and paying it for them. A few Days later, Dad would say, "Anyone seen the light bill that was on my desk?" I would get the receipt out of my purse and hand it to him. He would give me this pucked mouth look with a scornful shake of the head.

A few months passed and I researched doing my own divorce. Since we didn't have any children at the time and since we had already split up the marital belongings, it was a breeze. I filled out the paperwork myself, filed it, paid a $50 fee and represented myself. It took about three hours of my time and the $50 in cash to get my divorce papers. (Had I known it was going to be that easy, I would have done it a few years sooner, lol.)

Anyway, Dad was so worried about me having to save for that divorce and in the end, it cost me practically nothing.

Thinking about it, since I have a son of my own, the day may eventually come when he has to move back home...I will probably be the same way with him as my parents were with me. I have a lot of years to go before that would happen because my son is only 7 now.

Andrea