pwright
01-10-2005, 03:53 PM
I saw this and had to post it!!!!!!!!!
Cleaning Tips
Dirt -- Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful
filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor
of 15 and leave it alone.
2. Cobwebs -- Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the
bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that
the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What?
And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them & call them holiday
decorations.)
Pet Hair -- Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways
by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn
play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in
winter.)
Guests -- If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into
one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy
home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love
you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO
expensive."
Dusting -- If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn
on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to
scatter her ashes."
General Cleaning -- Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner
with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave
dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw
yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't
get anywhere."
Or as a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a
pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for
a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works
every time.
Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck, always keep several get well
cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've
been sick and unable to clean.
Cleaning Tips
Dirt -- Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful
filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor
of 15 and leave it alone.
2. Cobwebs -- Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the
bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that
the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What?
And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them & call them holiday
decorations.)
Pet Hair -- Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways
by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn
play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in
winter.)
Guests -- If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into
one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy
home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love
you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO
expensive."
Dusting -- If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn
on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to
scatter her ashes."
General Cleaning -- Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner
with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave
dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw
yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't
get anywhere."
Or as a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a
pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for
a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works
every time.
Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck, always keep several get well
cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've
been sick and unable to clean.