I Am Dreading Christmas

[Barbi_Route66]

Normally, I love this time of year but this year has been an emotional roller coaster for me. For the first time in my life, I'm dreading Christmas.

My mom passed away on September 4 of this year. I miss her so much. Mom had heart valve replacement surgery. The surgery itself went fine but she had other complications. She was 71. When the doctors told us that things weren't looking good, we told them to just make her as comfortable as possible; we didn't want her to be in pain. We requested for a (Catholic) priest to give her the last rites. After the priest came, all of the family got to say our good byes. Even though mom was asleep, I told her that I loved her so much & that if it was time for her to go, that it was okay for her to see daddy (my dad passed away 11 years ago). We (my brother, sister, hubby, sister in law, cousin, aunt & uncle...my mom's siblings & I) were with her when she passed away.

I just feel so lost since mom is gone. I have been crying nearly every day for the past week. You see, mom loved this time of year. I think that's why I've been feeling this way, just dreading the holidays. I realize that everyone has a day to leave this world & I wouldn't want my mom to suffer with poor health anymore. The first Christmas without a person you love is always the toughest.

[bribella]

I am sorry you are going through this especially at this time of the year. HUGS

[Amyjean]

A big hug to you. Your mom knew that you loved her and she will always be with you in spirit, especially during this time of year that she loved so much. She was surrounded by the love of her family and left with peace in her heart. She knew that you were there even if she was sleeping. The holidays are a hard time for lots of people and especially for those who have lost a loved one. Three months is not a lot of time to grieve. Sometimes people expect others to be happy during Christmas but rather than put on a smile for others, try to think about the happy memories you had with your mom. Even through the tears, you might come up with a real smile.

My dad passed away in March at the age of 79 and I missed him terribly too. This Christmas won't be the same without him either. It's never a good time to say goodbye to loved one, is it?

Much peace to you,

Amy

[queenangie]

It's normal to grieve after the death of a parent or other loved one.
These things take time.

Life still continues for the rest of the world though.

Look through your photo albums, or video tapes of your
previous happy holiday times including your loved ones.
Maybe that will help.

Sending warm hugs & prayers your direction.

[june72]

Barbi,
I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. I can say I know exactly what you are going thru. You see my mommy also just passed away. Nov. 20, 2004. Three of my sisters and I along with my step dad and four of my aunts was with her. I was holding her hand. My mom just turned 66 on Nov. 15. I am like you I miss her so much. This is such a rough time of year after goin thru this. Christmas dinner is at my house and I am dreading it so bad. We wanted to go on and have it because mommy would want us to. You take care and God Bless You and confort you! If you need to talk you can email me anytime. My email address is [email protected]

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Sadly, your mom has passed,but rejoice in her spirit,rejoice in the Christmas spirit she so loved.Keep her traditions alive for yourself and your family...she will never be away from you,she lives within you,within your mind and your heart.

(((hugs)))

[tsquared]

Sadly, your mom has passed,but rejoice in her spirit,rejoice in the Christmas spirit she so loved.Keep her traditions alive for yourself and your family...she will never be away from you,she lives within you,within your mind and your heart.

(((hugs)))
Very well said

[wubbywa]

I agree also, celebrate the holiday for her and yourself. Think of how sad she would be to see you hurt so bad. I know it is easy for me to say because I am not in your shoes. God Bless You.

[shc360]

I know the lost you must feel especially during the holidays and my heart goes out to you. Your mother is with you every day now in everything you do and i know that doesnt seem enough when you loved her so much. I lost my mother 3 years ago last month and to this day i stilll miss her with all my heart and wish i had that one last day with her. I also lost my father 10 years ago and miss him just as much and to make life much lonlier i lost my brother who was 39, 7 yeas ago and lost my sister who was 40 last year. Life changes so much when you lose a loved one but just keep thier spirits and memories in your heart and it will help you through the hard time. Dont be afraid to talk to your mom even though she isnt on here, she will hear every word that you say and she will be by your side every step of the way.

[twinkiesmom]

{{{Barbi)))

[Jaidness]

((((((((((((((((((((((Barbi)))))))))))))))))))

[cole70]

HUGS!!!!

I lost my Dad right before Thanksgiving. My DH, DS and I were with him until he took his last breath. I was always VERY close to my Dad. I am an only child and we did everything together when I was growing up. I even followed in his footsteps and became a photographer just like him.

Your Mom is in a much better place than we could ever be here on earth.

Cole

[Kelsey1224]

I'm so sorry for your lost. It's been three years since my mother passed away and I still miss her so much.

I have found it helpful to look for her presence in little things you do the celebrate the holiday. Maybe you make a recipe which was a favorite of hers. Maybe you will receive a Christmas card which reminds you of her. Maybe it's a Christmas carol that she loved to sing.

She WILL make her presence known to you if you only take the time to look!

God bless you and your family during this difficult time.

[nightrider127]

I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my sweet Daddy last March. Christmas was his favorite holiday too. By now, we would have been all set for the big day. Daddy went suddenly, I wasn't with him. I would have loved to have been with him and holding his hand as his soul took flight.

Here is what I am going to do Christmas day. I am going to write a note and attach it to a balloon and turn it lose and let it soar toward Heaven. I'll tell both my parents how much I love and miss them. And I'll wish the both of them a Merry Christmas. Maybe you could do this too.


In the meantime, I will remember you in my prayers.

[catssass]

I know how you feel, my Mom passed away Oct. 21, she was 69,We found out she had lung cancer and she had 3-4 mos, I moved her into my home, called hospice and she died 5 days later, those were the BEST 5 days of my life, I spent everyone of her last minutes with her, just loving her... I am so lost without her, Christmas was her time of the year, she made all our Christmas's magical, I will never forget how she made the house look, smell, and how it was filled with so much love...I thought about skipping Christmas this year but she would probably show up and scare the c**p out of me...lol So I did the exact thing she would want me to do..I went all out, she would be so happy! You have to do what you need to do to feel better, take things as they come and remember she's always with you....

[honeybun]

Barbi, I can say, like the other posts on this board, I know how you feel. I lost my mom several years ago…Christmas was her favorite holiday as well. Every time Christmas rolls around, I am sad at first and then push myself to do what mom would have wanted done. She made Christmas magical for our family. I use all of her decorations, with the additions of my own.. My suggestion to you, would be to decorate, spread the spirit of Christmas and rejoice with those still with you. I know how hard it can be…and I sympathize greatly. Also, I light tea lights in paper bags outside and arrange them in the shape of a pathway to the house… it’s my personal entrance for my mom. My prayers are with you…and she is with you still.. always remember.

[SmucknFart]

I lost my mother exactly one week before Thanksgiving, 2001. She was only 63. I never got to say any goodbyes; wasn't there to be by her side, as she wasn't in a hospital or anything. The hurt never goes away, but it does get easier to deal with as time passes.
The hardest thing is that I just had a baby girl on December 7th; and Mom is not here to share this with me, nor will my youngest daughter have the privilege to know her Gramma. My son was only 1 when Mom passed away, so it hurts knowing he won't remember her, either. My mom was the type who would do anything for anybody..always putting herself last. She is greatly missed now and always. :(

[wndysfrnd]

I am sorry for everyone's losses. My mom passed away suddenly November 15th, and this year is going to be very hard for me. :(

[buglebe]

This is the season to remember our loved ones, both with us and gone.

[Barbi_Route66]

Thanks to all of you for your kind words & understanding. It makes times like this easier by talking to others who have been there. I have met some of the nicest people on this site. Even though we have never met in person, I think of all of you as friends.

I'll be leaving for church shortly & will stop by the mausoleum to visit my mom & dad.

On a lighter side of things, would you believe that we've been having sleet in New Orleans & that we may get snow?? We haven't had snow since December 22, 1989!

I wish all of you a Blessed Christmas & a Happy New Year. :)

Hugs to all of you!

[twinkiesmom]

Merry Christmas Barbi! Peace to you. And peace to all that lost someone close.