I really, really need to vent...

[mjh341]

How do I start? I haven't posted in a very long time, the last time I did I really got flamed, so I haven't been around for a while. But tonight I reeaallyy need to vent.

I have a 16 year old sister and until last December 19th, she had never had a boyfriend. They met at my Mom's friend's church while taking turns doing a live Nativity scene. Greg asked if he could drive Lacey home and my Mom said OK. Greg took her straight to my parent's house.(BTW I am 36, I will be 37 1/16 and Lacey will be 17 1/30).

After that they became pretty much joined at the hip. One Friday in early March my Mom called me and told me Lacey was going to have a baby. I was shocked. You see Lacey and I are both Insulin Dependent Diabetics and she saw how difficult it was for me to conceive, stay pregnant, and deliver my daughter. My daughter was delivered VIA emegency c-section, both of us almost died. To be honedt the sexual activity part wasn't as surprising as
the pregnancy. I know both were wrong. Five days later Lacey suffered a miscarriage. Greg was at her side through out everything.

They continued to date with the exception that Lacey was on birth control pills, being treated by a GYN, tested for STDs, and she received a large supply of condoms.

They went to the prom in May and Greg graduated at the end of May. Greg had already joined the Airforce before meeting Lacey and would be leaving about 10 days after graduation. The day he left his family and his new family(Lacey, Mom and Dad, me and my DD, and even my Grandmom) gathered at his recruiters office for him to load the bus and leave for the airport. We all knew there was really no future to speak of in the small town we live in for Greg, but we still cried as he left, even knowing he was bettering himself by joinig the AF.

For the first few weeks he was not allowed to call home. Then his first call was to Lacey. His mom died when he was 2 from cancer and he couldn't stand his stepmom. Lacey called his stepmom and Dad told them Greg was fine and missed them. Every week he earned more phone time and called Lacey. At the end of the 6 weeks my brother and I had planned to take Lacey to Texas for his Graduation from Basic Training. I received a call on my cellphone the Saturday before we were to leave on Wednesday(none of his family were going to his graduation) it was Lacey and Greg he had failed basic trainig because he could not run 2 miles in 12 minutes. He ran it in 12 minutes and 10 seconds. Greg continued to call but would not give a date as to when he would becoming home. This went on for a couple pf weeks. Then all communications stopped.

For 8 weeks Lacey didn't hear a word from him. Mom and I suspected the worst and tried to talk to Lacey about it. She would burst into tears or become hysterical. Lacey has severe self esteem issues that Greg is very aware of. Greg's stepmom told my mom that she nor Greg's Dad had heard from him either. She called her BIL who had a civillian job at the AFB and he contacted Greg's comanding officer and she made Greg call his stepmom and dad, but Lacey still heard nothing, About 3 weeks ago Greg called Lacey on Saturday and told her he would be home on Monday and he wanted her and my folks to pick him up at the airport. She asked him if he failed basic training why was he still at the AFB for so long? He told her he appealed the AF's decision. I didn't buy that for a minute. If he failed, he failed. He can't appeal a failure. He called his stepmom on Sunday and told her to call Lacey and tell her he wouldn't be home until the next week. The next week the same thing happed. And the same the following week, but he still proffessed to hate his stepmom and Lacey was still swallowing this hook, line and sinker.

Greg came home last Monday night. His stepmom and his Dad picked him up at the airport. He called my Mom and told her he wanted to surprise Lacey.(I forgot to mention he gave her a 1 carat engagement ring the night before he left) Greg made it to my parents home at 10:30pm the night he came home. He left at 11:17pm. He spent 37 minutes with her the next day because he was just so tired he wanted to go home and sleep. Everyday since has been the same except he left last Thursday for South Carolina to go "Party with some of his Friends".

Saturday was my neice's 3rd birthday party and my SIL started talking about Greg. (her best friend is married to Greg's uncle) My SIL looks at me and says "I bet you and your parents are glad to have Greg put of all of Yall's hair. I would be too. You know he cheated on Lacey the whole time he was in Texas and is in SC now with Renee." I suspected, but this was the first time I had proof. It seems Greg went to his uncle's house before going to see Lacey and told them he had broken up with Lacey and was now engaged to Renee and was leaving Thursday to be with her in SC.

I know they were both too young to be engaged and having babies, but he should have been honest with Lacey and not have led her on. To this day he has not broke up with Lacey. Lacey is being treated for depression and low self esteem now and Greg knows this. It makes me so mad I could kick him. I know Lacey will have to learn to deal with this, I just feel so angry at Greg for his deceit.

[mistressB]

my hubby and i got engaged when he had just turned 17 and me 18 and we turned out ok. you can't do anything about her descision because it's hers to make. if her parents have issues with this let them try to persuade her to call things off. i seriously doubt they could though. i know it's really hard to stand by and watch a loved one make a mistake, but that's how we learn in life.

[tsquared]

Seems when kids are so young and think they are in love 80 % of the time it never works out and it seems like most of the times it is for the better. Your sister will have a tough go ahead of her, but with the rest of her caring family i dont think it will be really tough. This may of been a blessing in disguise for your little sister.

[lpelham]

My husband just got off recruiting duty and we saw that happen time and time again (boy breaks up with girlfriend back at home). We were in a small town too, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not. my husband is a Marine and I know those kids changed a lot while in boot camp.

Regardless, he's still a &^%$ for treating her that way. I hope she can get some good out of this - maybe to see the bad signs and accept them sooner - and get on with her life. If he didn't have any more regard for her than that, he is not worth her time and trouble. I know she will have a hard time seeing that with the self-esteem problems, but hopefully you and your family can help her through it. Sorry this happened!

Libby

[Tasha405]

Aww, I feel so sorry for her. She feels as if she's in love and he's just dragging her along. He needs to tell her that he doesn't want to be with her or whatever instead of doing her like this.

[schsa]

Why doesn't she break it off with him? Very simply, someone needs to tell her the truth about what is going on. That he has moved on to someone else and has asked this woman to marry him. Then someone needs to tell her how immature he is and how he doesn't have the guts to end the relationship as a real human being does. She is going to cry but it's much better than letting her believe that he may come back. She has been through alot. And will probably need a good counsellor but better this than married to a man who will cheat and play around on her.

Be honest with her. Break her heart, but be there to help her through all of this.

[ang in NC]

I feel for her.

[mjh341]

Thanks to everyone for the responses and letting me vent. I know I will have to be the one to tell her. Unfortunately Mom has been readmitted to the hospitall tonight for a re-occuring MRSA staph in and around her knee replacement. Greg is due to return home Thursday. Lacey has a very protective older brother that I will have to put on a leash. Just kidding, but my brother does love Lacey and is very protective, but he will not bother Greg.

[wyozozo]

I'm sorry this is happening but make sure SHE KEEPS THE RING!! She didn't break it off, he did! At least she'll come out of this with something worth keeping!

[kittykat79]

wyozozo I'm sorry this is happening but make sure SHE KEEPS THE RING!! She didn't break it off, he did! At least she'll come out of this with something worth keeping!

why would you want to keep a ring that will continually remind you of some jerk off who couldn't be man enough to tell you the truth. If i had a chance i'd throw the ring back in his face and tell hime to go "f" himself. He may have lost something good, but that's his loss! It will be hard for your sister, but in the end someone better, happier and truthful with come along!

stephanie

[Tisky67]

why would you want to keep a ring that will continually remind you of some jerk off
stephanie

2 words -- PAWN SHOP

[ezmoney163]

OK here's my point of view on this.


I know how your poor sister feels. I personally had this happen to me. I was in love with a guy through out my high school years, he was a junior in high school when we met and I was in 9th grade. I would have laid my life down for him if it came down to it. Well things were great for the first year, we went to his sinior prom he graduated, then left for the Marines. He never called me for the longest time blaming it on basic training. :rolleyes: Dummy me believed him. I held on thinking all I had to do was getthrough the next year and 1/2 w/o him being home and he would come back to get me and take me w/ him. I had our wedding planned, right down to the food we would have at the reception. ( I gave up going out to California to Fashion Institute of Design for this idiot) Well one day I went out with some of my friends, they wanted to cheer me up, we wnt to the movies and to McDonalds, then came home. Well guess what low and behold guess who was sitting in my living room when I got back. Then I had to listen for two hours how I had no respect for him, blah blah balh that I was not supposed to be going out with my friend s I should have been at home waiting for him in case he called. :eek: Of course I sat there and listened to him, wanting to only please him. Two days later he went back. I only spent about 45 minutes with him the two days he was here cause he ad to visit w/ other friends. So ok, a few more months w/ speratic phone calls, (mind you they were all collect calls too) then nothing for three months. Then one day guess what he and his buddy from base came home. OK so you brought your buddy home, his buddy was nice and tried to have "J" spend more time with me, but it didnt change from before, after 4 days and seeing him maybe 4 hours, he left again. So he goes back, calls everyday for 2 weeks (tells me he buddy said he should pay more attention to me cause I am gonna get tired of his crap, so he is gonna call me every chance he gets ~I was on cloud 9~ he cared about me), then he stops again. I didn't hear from him for three maybe four months. I was sick, I missed so much school from being sick, it was sad. I called his mom she hadn't heard from him either and if she had she wasn't letting on. Anyway, a few months go by and I get a letter from him. "I hope you still love me. I am sorry. Ihave been in the brig. I gave letters to the guards but somehow they didnt reach you, I am giving this one to my chaplain so I know you will get it. Ia m so sorry. I love you, I hope you still love me.....blahblah blah." Guess what dummy me fell for it again. I swear love makes you do crazy things. So anyway, it is now Christmas time, 6 more months and I can be with him forever. I am planning on us goign to the Christmas dance because he is supposed to try to come home for break and be here till after New years. WOOOHOOO!! So I have everythign ready, his mom tells me he called and will be running late but he is coming. Ok so I am ready, I wait and wait and wait... he never came around 9:30 my best guy friend came and took me to the dance and out to eat with my cousin because they felt bad. 3 days later he shows up. Of course I fell into his arms ..yadda yadda yadda. Well we had a good Christmas and New Years he took me to the Bigger City and we stayed in a hotel had a great time. That night I was supposed to babysit my aunts kids, well I had him take me and he decided to stay, he was supposed to be driving back to LeJuene that night. well he stayed and took me home at 6 am and then left from my house. He didnt call that night or the next day, then the following day his mom called and chewed me out about he is MIA and yadda yadda yadda, I was like it isn't my fault he had time to get there I didn't know where he was, blah blah blah. Anyway, he finally calls two weeks later and tells me he got there a bit late because he had car trouble. He supposedly didn't get in trouble. Anyway, once again the sporatic phone calls then mid Febuary he was home, he was only home a weekend I think, but we were at his moms house and he was sleeping, well being the good wife to be, I started ironing and packing his bag. :( I was heart broke when I reached into the bag to pull out a book that should not have been in there. It was a picture album, ( I still get teary thinking of it) it had pictures of about 20 different girls, all around my age some a bit older, but they were all signed something like this' "J", Ill always love you and remeber the nights we spent together." :eek: :( My knight in shining armour was a cheater. He threw away all we had fro these girls who he had only known for a few days or weeks. I never said anything to him, I just put the book in a different spot in his bag and finished packing it for him, when he woke up I asked him to take me home I had to study for a test. He did, I told him I loved him and he would always have a special place in my heart ( and he still does). He left and had only called me one more time, that was just to see if I had a CD of his. It was short and sweet. Well my life went on I met my husband we got married and had our 3 wonderful children. And as for "J" well he stayed down south, got a dishonorable from the Marines, got married, had abbay that was sick and passed on, then got divorced. He then moved back up here and now has 2 children with a girl who he met down there and is working as a tool and dye guy. I see his mom and she talks to me quite a bit. She is still nice to me. I have seen him 3 times maybe more I donno. It still hurts when I see him, I still have feelings for him. He was my first love and will always hold a place in my heart. I know what your sister is going through, but she needs to realize that she will be someone better without him. All a relationship like that can do is destroy a person. She is better than that. Do not critize her or tell her she should have known, just be there for her. Be her shoulder to cry on. Be her rock. She will need you now more than ever. I know to her it feels like her life is over, so show her the great things there are to look forward too. :) Good luck to you and her!! (((HUGZ))))

Sorry to take over your thread, this is the first time I have ever really talked about it since it happened 12 years ago.

Oh and PS take the ring as a reminder of her time with someone she thought alot of . OR PAWN IT!!!

[stresseater]

Yep, I'd hock the ring, tie one on and then blow that freak outta my mind. :D :D ;)

[mjh341]

OK heres the unbelievable update...Lacey told me just a couple of hours ago that Greg sent her a text message while she was at school yesterday and broke up with her. He is in fact in SC with another girl and she is expecting his baby. Both Greg and Renee have been calling my sister and using terroristic threats. My brother is now answering the phone so Lacey will not here any more threats. Greg and Renee are both 19. Lacey is 16. My Mom and Dad are at an out of town hospital because in the morning my Mom is going to have surgery to have her knee replacement removed because of MRSA staph. Lacey told me the reason she lost the baby last March is because Greg hit her in the stomach!!!! I am so damn mad. 1-Why would he do it? 2-Why in God's name wouod she not tell one of us? She is terrified he is lying about where he is at and will try to hurt her while she is at school. I can't keep her out of school tomorrow or Friday because of exams, nor can I swear out a warrant for him for terroristic threats or murder because I am not her parent. My Mom is so ill my Dad will probably not be able to leave the hospital until Friday. I am going to the high school in the morning and tell the principal that under no circumstances is Greg to be anywhere near Lacey. Hopefully as soon as the surgery is over Daddy will let me stay with Mom and swear out a warrant for Greg for at the least assault and battery and terroristic threats(I don't know if hitting Lacey in the stomach and her miscarrying constitutes murder and it also could be a he says/she says situation) I will be picking Lacey up from school tomorrow and if Greg tries to get anywhere near Lacey; I am a good sized woman and will use my size to my advantage. I will plant my big ol' behind right in the middle of his stomach and it will be a while before he gets his breath back!!!!!!

[chacha]

The kids are probably more talk than anything at this point...let them be kids. I would talk to the school and let them have a general idea of the situation and not to let him near her, blah..blah..blah. As far as a warrant for terroristic threats...it's a relationship gone bad and ending on a sour note with 2 young, innexperienced people. It happens everyday. I would make sure that when she does go out right now, she is with friends as a precaution, but I doubt there is a need to get the police involved at this point. They obviously were engaging in sexual activity and with the age difference, he could face jail time depending on the laws in your state. They are young and were "in love", but no more...let each of them go their own way and make something of themselves and find a special someone in time.
As far as the miscarriage, I think that would definately be thrown out of court...they would look at the situation and see a heart broken girl that is trying to get revenge. Again, not worth it at this point. Maybe it is better that she did not have the baby.....JMO

[ezmoney163]

OK heres the unbelievable update...Lacey told me just a couple of hours ago that Greg sent her a text message while she was at school yesterday and broke up with her. He is in fact in SC with another girl and she is expecting his baby. Both Greg and Renee have been calling my sister and using terroristic threats. My brother is now answering the phone so Lacey will not here any more threats. Greg and Renee are both 19. Lacey is 16. My Mom and Dad are at an out of town hospital because in the morning my Mom is going to have surgery to have her knee replacement removed because of MRSA staph. Lacey told me the reason she lost the baby last March is because Greg hit her in the stomach!!!! I am so damn mad. 1-Why would he do it? 2-Why in God's name wouod she not tell one of us? She is terrified he is lying about where he is at and will try to hurt her while she is at school. I can't keep her out of school tomorrow or Friday because of exams, nor can I swear out a warrant for him for terroristic threats or murder because I am not her parent. My Mom is so ill my Dad will probably not be able to leave the hospital until Friday. I am going to the high school in the morning and tell the principal that under no circumstances is Greg to be anywhere near Lacey. Hopefully as soon as the surgery is over Daddy will let me stay with Mom and swear out a warrant for Greg for at the least assault and battery and terroristic threats(I don't know if hitting Lacey in the stomach and her miscarrying constitutes murder and it also could be a he says/she says situation) I will be picking Lacey up from school tomorrow and if Greg tries to get anywhere near Lacey; I am a good sized woman and will use my size to my advantage. I will plant my big ol' behind right in the middle of his stomach and it will be a while before he gets his breath back!!!!!!


Do not take him or GF lightly. Please watch your sister, make sure she is never alone with him. Not to sound biased or anything like that but there are so many people out there who are capiable of doing harn to another than you think.

God bless and I will be keeping you in my prayers.

[mjh341]

Not to sound argumentative or angry, but, Greg HAS beaten Lacey in the past. At the very least there will be a restraing order in place by Monday afternoon. I do realize that it could sound as if Lacey is trying to seek revenge. But me and my Mom had to have our cell phones deactivated because Greg was text messaging us 60 to 70 times a day since Tuesday. Our celluar bills would have been so high I would have been afraid to read my bill when it arrived. We now have new phones and numbers. Lacey never had a cell of her own she just used Mom's. Lacey now has a cell of her own, but refuses to go anywhere without a member of our family going with her. Lacey and I finshed my Christmas shopping today. BTW Dad and I had Verizon pull all the text messages from Greg on mine and Mom's phone and print them out as proof, just in case(we should ever need them). We also explained what was going on to the store manager and since there were no text messages outgoing to Greg from either of our phones the manager waved the text charges from our phones thank goodness.

[PrincessArky]

this is such a terrible situation........one in which I am sure Greg is keeping going because of whatever mess he is telling this Renee girl.........I would also be willing to bet that he didnt fail his running test but got kicked out because he is a HUGE nut. I will keep your family's safety in my prayers