Possible MIL problem ?

[shoppinqueen]

My honey had a diamond put away for safekeeping with his family.Well he's asked me to marry him and called his mom and asked her to handle getting the stone set.

I requested only 2 things, no Tiffany setting, I work with my hands and Tiffany settings are too high, the ring will constantly be getting caught on things and I would prefer white gold or platitum.

Guess what I'm getting ?


An engagememt ring set in a yellow gold Tiffany setting.

What do I do ? Can I get it reset once it gets here ?

[lassss]

yes you can reset the stone...I have done that before...after I got divorced I took the stone out and had it reset into a ring I liked.....I am sure your BF will understand that you want to wear it all the time but need a different setting

[karefree]

I see your point. Having the stone reset could be you drawing the line and daring her to cross it but, then again, did she already draw that line herself? Good luck. You may be between that rock and a hard place.

[janelle]

I always take my rings off if I'm doing anything with my hands. I also don't want to lose the stone in the dish water. :eek:

Why not just wear it when you are not working with your hands. Look at it this way, the Tiffany setting will show off the stone a lot more and it will look like a more expensive ring. Don't sweat the little things. Mil troubles can be handled.

[jayhawkfan]

I would just talk to him about it. Did he tell her your request? If he did, then it sounds to me like shes being naughty on purpose :(

[janelle]

That's a thought, maybe he didn't communicate very will with his mother. Why not talking to her yourself?

[nanajoanie]

Did you mention to BF what kind of setting and what kind of gold you preferred? If not except whatever he gives you and treasure it. Like a couple have suggested, take it off when working and keep in your pocket or on a chain around your neck where you can still show it off. I have a feeling the future MIL didn't have a clue about the mounting, etc.

[fatesfaery]

I don't wear yellow gold, so I would have issues with a ring set in yellow gold. The only time I take my rings off is when I'm cooking something that will gunk them up.
Explain your reasons to your BF, I don't he'll have issues with you having the stone reset, and you'll have a ring you love.

[Urban Cowgirl]

I would just have it reset. Oh yeah one more thing........No B&B W for her this year.....you can send her package my way!!!! LOL

[YankeeMary]

Well, my opinion is different then everyones, sorry if I offend but I think you should just be thankful that you are getting one. Since when do women decide what they get as a gift??? My DH picked out and bought my engagement ring all on his own and it is beautiful and if it weren't I would still love it. A Tiffany setting and such is very expensive, be flattered that the future MIL was willing to pick out something so beautiful for you. Just love it and if she did it to be spiteful, the next time you see her, just thank her a million times and brag about how beautiful it is. You get more flies with honey then you do with vinegar. Be happy that he could afford to get you one, so many do not even get an engagement ring.
Congratulations on your up coming marriage, post pics of the ring, which ever way you get, I would love to see. Good luck on the out come.

[justinenycole26]

Well, my opinion is different then everyones, sorry if I offend but I think you should just be thankful that you are getting one. Since when do women decide what they get as a gift??? My DH picked out and bought my engagement ring all on his own and it is beautiful and if it weren't I would still love it. A Tiffany setting and such is very expensive, be flattered that the future MIL was willing to pick out something so beautiful for you. Just love it and if she did it to be spiteful, the next time you see her, just thank her a million times and brag about how beautiful it is. You get more flies with honey then you do with vinegar. Be happy that he could afford to get you one, so many do not even get an engagement ring.
Congratulations on your up coming marriage, post pics of the ring, which ever way you get, I would love to see. Good luck on the out come.

I completely disagree! There are few things in life a woman looks forward to more than her wedding and all the details, including the ring. She is going to wear this ring every day for the rest of her life. It should be something she LOVES, not something she has settled for.
Flattered? I think not. She had 2 simple requests, not a huge list of no-no's. Her MIL did not care enough to comply. Why should SQ suffer?
Maybe your DF can sell the setting and have the diamond mounted in a setting you like.

[shoppinqueen]

I am very grateful and I am thrilled to be getting a ring at all. Don't take me wrong, I'm not a snob when it comes to jewelery at all.I only wanted white gold because the only jewelery I currently have is silver and I'd like the color to match.

I dislike Tiffany settings because if I catch the ring on a cord or something while I'm working in a computer I could damage a server or potentially hurt myself to say nothing of risking losing the stone if a prong comes loose.

What I'll do is wait till the ring gets here,I could have it reset or I wear it and ask that he get me a one of those wrap around rings with smaller diamonds for my wedding ring, it'll wrap around my engagement ring and at least make the setting less fragile.

I only wear a size 5- 5 1/2 ring, I have tiny fingers and don't want anything too large or set up too high it wouldn't look right on my hand.

[flute]

I haven't spoken to my MIL in, get this, over 2 months. woohoo!

[brooks45]

:D First i want to say congratulations!!! Iam so happy for you! Let me throw my 2 cents in here! lol!! I have been with my hubby for 18 years! and have known him all my life! very lucky girl here! Anyway! when hubby and i got married both of us exchanged simple gold bands! Did i want diamonds!! Yes!! but didnt get them till down the road!! you following me so far! lol!! Yes! your wedding rings are a very important part of the wedding ceremony but have to say when you get married they are not the first things on your mind!! maybe to some but most no lol! So! down the road of your marriage you can pick and choose as you like! Be happy for the moment and iam sure you well be! As far as MIL there well be testing grounds!! nothing go to change that lol!! when hubby and i first got married my MIL was nice but much nicer now! she thinks iam god sent for taking good care of her son all these years!! lol! Oh!! guess what iam wearing now! A diamond gold ring that my son picked and bought for me! I change back and fourth from ring to ring that i have got over the years from hubby! So think future..anniversary presents etc!! ;) Happy trails to you shoppinqueen!

[lassss]

I would first check with your BF to make sure he got the message thru to his mother..if it got through and you future MIL did it her own way then you need to stop this before even getting married.....If you appease her now, you will always hafta appease her...start off on the right foot and make things clear now.....having said that ..if your bf didn't tell his mother your request..then you need to have a talk with him and he should be the one getting your ring made, not his mother...

I disagree with another poster that you should be grateful your getting a ring at all....in this day and age, women have every right to be part in picking out a ring that they are going to wear.

I've been the MIL nightmare, and once I told her to butt out..things were better.

congrats on your upcoming wedding..make YOUR day special and do it the way you want

[queenangie]

25 years ago I got engaged to my future DH.
It was the same time as his parents' 25th wedding anniversary.

My only request for the engagement ring was "No black (enamel) on the ring, just 14 K gold." This was 'in style' at this time.

DH-to-be and his Dad got together and gave both of us the exact same ring.
MIL's for her 25th wedding anniversary
and
mine for our engagement.

Guess what - it has those black enamel coloring at the base!

My mother's advise was "learn to love it". "You'll get another ring down the road that you can choose." Mom was right on both counts. I got an eternity ring for our 15th wedding anniversary that DH and I picked together.

(The black enamel at the base around the diamond does enhance the look and make the diamond even bigger. And yes, I have learned to love this ring.)

Congrats on your engagement, dear!