friend is stalking me!!|

[laptopz1]

ok, this goes a long way back. but here it goes. this girl friend of mine has really helped my family out in times where we needed it. but then come to find out she lied about alot of stuff and started flirting with my husband!!!!she would stop by where he used to work and come call me to tell me he was flirting with other women---me and my husband are close and we both flirt with other people---its healthy and we are secure enough in each other. but at that time she still planted doubt in my head like he was cheating. then she would say well i dont think he would cheat on you then i would think he was cheating on me. anyhow story goes on. me and my family moved out of state then came back and lived with this friend for 2 months. and this is where things get really iffy. she forbids us from having sex in her house, ok so shes weird bout that. well, i ended up really sick living there, and i even lost my hearing and was bed ridden for about a week--couldnt even breastfeed my son. so my dh would walk my son outside at night to calm him and put him to sleep. well, one night i woke up to and just had a feeling to check on dh and when i walked out to the livingroom she meaning my friend was laying on the couch with only a shirt on. i knew my husband wasnt doing anything with her as he had the baby outside in his arms.well the next morning my husband got up with the baby and wouldnt leave the room, i was really sick and asked him why didnt you go out and play, he said i dont want to leave the room, i said why, apparently my older son he is 4 noticed she wasnt wearing any shorts or undies and they came back to the room. i was like what---i thought maybe she took them off in her sleep but she wakes up at 5 am so oculdnt figure out why she had nothingon. so i went out and covered her up. well, nothing i said or did made her put her pants on, so my family stayed in our room till she got dressed or i covered her up. i didnt understand her motivation behind this.... but figured its her house etc etc.anyhow, she ended up buying a place of her own she was renting before and she asked us to move in with her, she would only charge 150 rent, my family said no, not even if it were free, and she asked us more than once. well, she ended up telling other people we were begging to move in with her----NO f------ way!!!!! anyhow we got a really nice place of our own with all brand new expensive furniture, then of course what did she do--she returned hers, but still not half as expensive as mine, then she wanted my cell phone etc. etc.... i can deal with the jealousy becasue she is 40 and single, but i cant deal with the part that is coming. she stops by my husbands work where he works now and asks if my dh is there, then people tell her when he works. i never tell her because its none of her business, and am trying to give her hints to leave us alone now. well, she even calls there to see when he will be in. she even checks what i am selling on ebay and sends me stupid emails. i am very tired of this. but today she came over and said i stopped by your dh's work but he wasnt working they said he would be in tonight, i was pissed. my dh said he felt violated---which is very strange for him to say---as he isnt the type to talk much about his feelings much less being violated. but she is turning into a stalker. what do i do????? my oldest son said he doesnt like her, so we stopped going to her house a long time ago, he would cry if we went there so i thought we stopped being her friend then, but now she just shows up unannounced checks on my ebay listings and checks on my husbands work schedule-----what the hell. how do i get rid of her??????????????????????someone please help!!!!!!!!!

[laptopz1]

oh yeah, forgot the last part, she brings gifts for my older son like candy etc, but never for my youngest, then she says she has more gifts for him at her house but he has to come over to get it. so now my son wants to goto her house, i said no, i can buy you these things, you dont get them from her. she has been really nice to him now but my youngest no. i refuse to goto her house, i dont know how to get her to stop coming to mine or my husbands work, help!!!!!

[schsa]

Keep a diary of what she is doing. Phone calls, visits, etc. When she goes to your husband's work he need to tell people to refuse to let her see him or talk to him. If she comes to your house, don't open the door. If she won't go away, call the police and ask them to escort her from the property. If you do this enough, you will have enough evidence to get a restraining order against her and finally charge her with stalking. If she violates either, she will be arrested and put in jail.

[menanamama]

could she possibly be sexually abusive or suggestive at the least to your oldest son? i am seriously worried that she is.

[MamaFairal]

How old are your kids?

Just get in her face and tell her to leave your family ALONE!!!

[Azriel_LittleHawk]

um, pardon me for saying, but, "YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES" why do you LET HER BLOODY WELL IN! yes, she is starting the stalkery stuff, keep the diary, get photographic evidence if need be, oh an hey, if she keeps up calling an going to hubby's workplace, she might jsut get him fired. she sounds mental. and rude, and thank you for trying to keep your kids away from this bitca! and Goddess love your hubby, i am happy to know there are still good men out there in the world. get a restraining order if need be against her. be blunt an to the point. "i no longer want you around myself or my family, that includes tracking MY yes "MY" husband down. he nor my children or myself are your business. if you continue in this beahvior, i will have you arrested for stalking" an slam the door in her face, phone in her ear..etc. why are you putting up with this? call the ploice non emergency number , tell em whats going on an ask them what you should do.
G'luck!
Az

[buttrfli]

Just get in her face and tell her to leave your family ALONE!!!

ITA... the dropping hints thing never works. Tell her point blank to leave you alone. You DH should also do the same.

[queenangie]

She is not your friend any longer.

There is too much weird about this woman.

I wonder if she hasn't done something to your
older child while you were living with her
(and very ill). Keep your kids away from her.

Like the above posted - keep a journal.

Sounds like your DH is a good one.
Sending you warm hugs!

[ahippiechic]

ITA... the dropping hints thing never works. Tell her point blank to leave you alone. You DH should also do the same.


True. I wouldn't leave any doubt about what I meant. Tell her straight up! Your Dh needs to tell his workplace to please not give out any of his info, including work hours, to anyone.

[laptopz1]

thank-you all for your advice. i have continually asked my son if she has ever touched him he said no, he said she hit him 5 times, but i didnt see any marks---and he has only be left with her on one occasion for like less than 30 minutes. but i have been wondering if she has been planning on doing something ot him since she started in with the presents---he is 4 years old. the youngest is only 1 and a half. but i never go over there, she stopped by here yesterday and just opened up our door---which i didnt know because i was next door. shes just giving me the creeps now---and praying on how to tell her off so she wont come by anymore. when you are in a situation it just seems different, but the flags started going up when my son wouldnt goto her house and then she showed up here with presents then saying he had to come over to get his special presents are her house. i asked my dh if he left them with her when i was sick he says no way!!!, when he had a work interview he left them with another friend of ours. always had a weird feeling about this girl. anyhow pray that i will say things right and not knock her out!!!!!!!thank-you all for your support and input and God bless,!!!!!

[mesue]

Just a question that has nagged me since I started reading your post, was she fixing you anything to eat or drink individually like a cup of soup or coffee, tea, etc.? When did you get over being sick? Was it after she stopped fixing you whatever or after you left her home? Do you know what was making you sick at this point?

[luvabargin]

Schsa... Your right on the money! Then and only then will she solve her problem. Documentation is the key- very good with problems in the workplace also! Write everything down date, time, place, ect GOOD LUCK!