schmuck boy just got arrested...

[menanamama]

we got into a fight again. he pushed me down the stairs and then kicked me in the back when i tried to leave. all this because i was pissed that he brought a gun outside to shoot someone because of another fight.

sorry...pressing charges schmuck boy. to hell with your house.

[ezmoney163]

i donno what u are talking about but I am sorry you are having trouble. God bless you and yours.

[menanamama]

he got into a fight at the bar...ran in the house and got his loaded shot gun. he got a friend of ours involved btw. i, of course, got pretty pissed. we got into a fight about that. and then he got physical...pretty basic. been trying to leave him for 6 months now...now he is really screwed..i have proof now...he can not deny it.

[twinkiesmom]

smuck boy = dh, bf or ds? :confused: edited to add: didn't see the previous post . . . . had I waiting a cpl minutes, I'da known.

at any rate . . . . better him arrested for this than arrested for murder in which u probably got in the way of preventing. Sry u are in this situation.

[menanamama]

not so dh

[Kyla Kym]

I don't think I would be getting in a fight with someone that is already mad and in the process of getting a gun to shoot someone with. What were you thinking? Sounds like someone you should be very afraid of instead of trying to take guns away from him. You better get far away from him. He doesn't care if he kills you or not. Because if he did, he sure wouldn't have pushed you down a flight of stairs then kicked you in a back. That is way over the edge, even for a wife beater. YOu better get away from that lunatic now while you still can!!!!

[menanamama]

the cops just came back. he is not allowed in the home or around me or the kids. cop will help him get his clothes later in the evening. finally someone beleives me! cripes. they also took the guns.


I don't think I would be getting in a fight with someone that is already mad and in the process of getting a gun to shoot someone with. What were you thinking? Sounds like someone you should be very afraid of instead of trying to take guns away from him. You better get far away from him. He doesn't care if he kills you or not. Because if he did, he sure wouldn't have pushed you down a flight of stairs then kicked you in a back. That is way over the edge, even for a wife beater. YOu better get away from that lunatic now while you still can!!!!
you are right there. but i saw him run with the gun and first thought was "he is going to kill the guy" so dumb me goes and takes the gun. fight happened after that.

and no i can finally get help!

[llbriteyes]

Thank God you're going to go get help. Don't believe him when he says he'll change. He won't. Guns and alcohol just don't mix. Get a restraining order too. Its warranted in this case.

Ahhhhh the wonders of alcohol. I guess people just don't get the correlation between drunkenness, bars, and violence.

Linda

[turbob]

OK, without getting into details, let me tell you what I KNOW about people like "schmuckboy". He WILL get out of jail very soon, he WILL be back, and he WILL come into the house, even if he is not supposed to. He will ALSO kick the crap out of you, because this is going to be ALL YOUR FAULT. Get a restraining order so you have some legal ground to stand on, but don't think for ONE minute that is going to stop him. If you can, I would suggest you pack some clothes and get out for a while. I don't get the feeling from your post that you realize how much danger you are in. Praying for you -

[turbob]

I wanted to talk to my firend Faith before I said anything else. Faith has a paralysed left arm, a severe limp on her left leg (can't go up and down stairs) has trouble expressing herself sometimes because she has brain damage, and was in a coma for six weeks. She wears a brace on her leg and her arm in a sling. Why? Because her boyfriend pushed her down the stairs one too many times.

[Tasha405]

((((((((Hugs))))))))

[buttrfli]

Glad the police took him and the guns.

I agree w/ Kyla Kym about not trying to take the gun, HOWEVER I used to be married to a "schmuck boy" and there are those times that you don't think about what you are doing, you just do it.

I hope you are not terribly hurt from falling and being kicked, but I have got to say that at least you are MAD about it and not whining about it... that means you have crossed the line to being able to live a safer life.

I also agree w/ turbob... get out NOW! He will be back and a piece of paper won't stop him. I spent 3 weeks in a hospital with a broken neck because I thought TRO would keep me safe.... my ex was out of jail within 48 hours and I spent 6 hours living a total nightmare before he thought I was dead and left the house.

Please keep safe. Even if that means you need to get a change of clothes and get the heck out of the state.

We live in a world where if a man is crazy enough to push a woman, there is no limit to what he will do... especially when he is mad. My ex will be in prison for the rest of his natural life, but don't think for one minute that makes me feel completely safe.

Stay mad and stay safe!

[catdance]

I can tell you this, I was beaten, I posted this here, I was seriously abused, and I wrote that here, I am moving tommorow, AND I CAN tell you sooner or later, that guy is gonna come back, or you just might be in that bar, and he just SHOWS UP, and either way one of two things are gonna happen, First, he is TOTALLY NICE, tells you what you wanna hear, LOVES YOU, so SORRY, he IS..never happen again......or TWO..HE HATES you and this is YOUR FAULT and you WILL PAY FOR HIS ANGER..
And remember how bad it sounds for you to admit with kids he had a gun in your or both your house, and this was in a bar situation..and alcohol..????
What were you thinking, and what if he HAD shot someone?
Do you have an appointment for a restraining order?
He wasn't arrested..right there..I think makes no sense..
I have to really think how a BAR and GUNS and ABUSE didn't equate a JAIL ROOM and a JUDGE on MOnday morning..
You are wanting to be believed, so get on with taking care of yourself and making serious steps on getting heard, and PROVE that by your daily life..and following through, otherwise, you can be like the poster before me post on her friend..or me..beaten.

[flute]

I would agree. Posting bond, and being out, though the sheet says "NO contact" it is NOT a court order! Get a restraining order against him! I realize you didn't come out & say this, though, having been there & done that, I am assuming that is what's happened.

I also assume, considering you weren't arrested, you didn't hit back. Good for you, you don't need that now.

I suggest arming yourself now with a weapon, in case he does get into the house/apartment/etc. I used the christmas tree stand. lol.

If your heart is telling you, truely telling you, to run as far & fast away from this man as possible then do it!
I will keep you on my prayer list.

I can also tell you, having done research on the subject, when a man kills he gets less time in jail than a woman who kills out of self-defense.

[flute]

Also, let me say this, when he comes by to get his belongings, First off, do NOT let him in if there isn't a police officer with him. he MUST have a policeman with him!

take yourself, your children & anything important into one room. Shut the door & let him have free roam to the house/apartment. Should the police have to leave for an emergency, MAKE HIM LEAVE TOO tell the policeman "fine you have to leave, but he must leave as well"

Get ahold of his key set, take away the house key from him!


(((hugs)))

[catdance]

what usually happens, the cop is there, get his stuff packed and give it over..make sure you got the toothbrush, the Deo..his personals, checkbook, so he has no real reason to come in, and the cops give about 15 minutes, tops..good luck..no fun and take the kiddies out of this picture..if that is possible.

[MamaFairal]

and now i can finally get help!


FINALLY get help my butt!


GET OUT NOW>>>>>>>>>RUN!!!!

[laughsalot]

Big hugs for you. I am so sorry that you are going through this and you and your kiddos will definatly be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep yourself safe.

[schsa]

Call your local women's shelter and get some legal advice on what you can and cannot do and what he can and cannot do. Do not let him back in the house. If you can, move and don't leave a forwarding address. If he needs to contact you he can speak to your lawyer.

Next time the shot gun might be aimed at you. Too many women end up dead because of domestic violence. You will be dead. You kids will be in an orpanage and your husband will be in jail. Or you kids will end up in a foster home.

Pack up everything that is his, everything. Put it in boxes, bags, whatever. When he comes to get his things, have everything ready to go and don't forget anything. A restraining order is not going to stop him from trying to get back in the house and you could be dead and so could your children before the police can get there to help you.

Move, get a lawyer and don't give out any personal information. There are states where you can divorce in a very short period of time. Find one and file for divorce. He can attempt to fight for custody but with his police background it won't happen.

Get a cell phone and put 911 on speed dial. Teach your kids how and when to use it. Carry it with you everywhere.

Notify the kids school what is going on and make sure that their father cannot come and take them out of school. Be sure that the good car is in your name and take your name off of any joint credit cards.

It isn't that hard to start over. It will be much harder for you to stay and wait until he looses his temper and decides to kill you.

[menanamama]

they issued a restraining order right away. court date on the 18th. locks changed already. beleive it or not...in ny...domestic partners do not get protection like a married couple. in order for me to get assistance this is what had to happen.

[queenangie]

Sending warm hugs your direction.

Stay safe & keep your babies safe.

[flute]

There are states where you can divorce in a very short period of time. Find one and file for divorce.


Can get divorced in 30 days in the county I live in :D

[schsa]

If you aren't married to him then you have no reason to stay. What is happening is affecting your kids and how they will grow up to be adults. Get out. Move. Leave the state and don't give any information to anyone who will give it to him.

If you aren't married, you owe him nothing.

[SAHMom]

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation and I hope that things turn out good for you and your children.

It may not be possible for her to just pack up the children and "leave". Some people have no where to go and no family to turn to. Sometimes it's easier said than done.

[menanamama]

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation and I hope that things turn out good for you and your children.

It may not be possible for her to just pack up the children and "leave". Some people have no where to go and no family to turn to. Sometimes it's easier said than done.
tis true! the only place i could go is my moms...and she has no room due to taking care of my sick gramps...alzhimers among other things.

[Damnifiknw]

The place you are staying at is your name on the lease or whatever? If your name is on the lease you do not have to move. People are saying move, run, go to a homeless shelter. blah blah blah. They must not realize moving isn't free. In order to move you better have at least a grand. That is for first & last month's rent, electricity, moving expenses & on & on...Not every womens shelter will take you in. It doesn't matter where you run to, if he wants to harm you, he will find you..It's so darn simple to find people...It is almost scary how little information someone needs to trace you down.

You need a weapon. I'm not saying kill the fool - You would be the one going to prison for self defense. I'm just saying you need a weapon - fact of the matter is, it's you or him. If you have nothing to protect yourself with. You will be the one who gets seriously injured if not killed...It's better him than you...You need to make sure all your windows are locked, doors. When you go to your car make sure you check inside before you get in. You never know if the lunitic will be hiding in your car. Make sure someone knows your whereabouts at all times. Keep a cell phone with you at all times. Make sure your kids don't get left alone cause the fool might kidnap them.

Stay safe!

[schsa]

If you stay where you are, he knows where you live and he knows your schedule and that of your children. You are just sitting there waiting for something terrible to happen.

If you move and go somewhere else, another city, another state, his access to you becomes very limited. If he doesn't have a forwarding address or phone number it will make it harder and harder for him to find you.

You partner is violent. Keeping a weapon of any sort in the house means that he could enter the house, take it from you and use it against you. I would not recommend it.

[menanamama]

all good points but i think i have things covered...lots of protection and help now. why did it have to get to this point before i could get help is what i don't understand.

[freebielover]

I don't have an answer for that but I just want to say best of luck with it, I hope that you and your children make it through this unharmed, both physically and emotionally. You are such a strong person to be able to finally walk away from this and protect yourself and your children. Best of luck!

[Damnifiknw]

Schsa - Do you not realize it take money to move? It would cost her well over a grand. I'm sure if she had a grand laying around, she would have left long ago. It's not as easy as you try to make it sound. "Just pack up your garbage and move." Moving to another city or state isn't going to make it harder to find her. Did you know her b/f can trace her down by her SS number, phone company, power comany & so on? If I had your name or just a lil information about you. I can find you online in less than a min. Believe it or not..It matters not where the lady moves he will find her if he really wants to harm her..Why run? Running only proves the man has control of her life.

Having a weapon is not a bad idea. Not having a weapon - you can bet your butt you don't have a snowball heck in chance of surviving. If the man breaks in her house - He's not there to be all sweet and loving. He's there to cause harm to her. Why is a weapon a bad idea again? Did you know a lot of women take self defense classes & get permits for concealed weapons because of men like her b/f? Tell one of those women who have been beat, it's not a good idea to have a weapon. I guarantee you they will call you a fool. Like I said, It's either him or you..If someone took your advice - They would be in a world of trouble....Before you preach - Be such a situation....Yes, I was with a man who hit me one time. (No I didn't live with the fool & No i didn't run like a scared dog.) I tried to kill him..If I would have had a gun. I would have blown his head off. I picked up the heavest thing I could find (soild steel pipe)and beat him. He was screaming bloody murder, throwing up his arms. The more he screamed the harder I hit him. "I was asking him if he liked? Doesn't it feel good to be hit?" You think I was going to stand around and allow him to hit me again? Heck No! You know what saved his life? One of his friends pulled me off of him..I would have beat him until he quit breathing.

Anyway - Good luck Mena, I'm sure you will be all right.

[ahippiechic]

I have been beat. For about 15 years before I got out of it. And it's NOT a good idea to have gun in the home, unless she knows how to use it and how to keep her children safe from it. I do have a gun, but I know how to use it. Not all people do.

Moving IS expensive, but it's better than dying. She has her children to think of also, not just herself.


Good luck with whatever you decide to do about it.

[jewdeeann]

Well said hippiechic.. Being alive for those kids should be your number one priority....I was a domestic violence counselor. A weapon in the home is not a good idea if she doesnt know how to use it because he will take it from her, you can count on that. She will have to live in constant fear of him just stopping by one day and taking one of the kids.. people like this seek vengence. I know money is a huge issue, but if you can possible do it you should get out...and these ladies are right, they won't hold him long and he isnt likely to just back away. It will be your fault in his eyes that he was in jail. Take every precaution you can. I'll be saying a lot of prayers for you.

[Blondiex46]

for me it was, I can't believe i didn't see this coming, what is wrong with me (cause the emotional abuse happened first) it must be my fault, etc., etc.