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Jolie Rouge
10-30-2004, 03:06 PM
Age-appropriate guidelines for keeping kids safe
By Morgan Bailey

Uncommon Danger

If your anxiety is growing over your child's safety these days, you are not alone. Parents everywhere experienced a collective ripple of fear over the high-profile kidnappings and murders of Danielle van Dam, Samantha Runnion and Carlie Brucia, among others. And the safe return of Elizabeth Smart did little to alleviate those fears.

In fact, abductions by strangers are very rare indeed, notes parenting expert Jan Faull, M.Ed., a parent educator and an expert columnist for LHJ.com and BHG.com. And abductions of pre-elementary-age children are, thankfully, largely unheard of.

According to a 1990 U.S. Justice Department report on the topic of abducted and missing children, the great majority of missing-child incidents concern preteen and teenage kids. Many of these turn out to be runaways. The next-largest group of kids fall under the category "lost, injured, or otherwise missing children." It is only a small minority of kids that turn out to be victims of abduction, and of those, most are "family abductions." Abductions by a stranger, or "nonfamily abductions," as in the case of Samantha Runnion, are not at all typical, according to the FBI National Crime Information Center's National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). But they are the cases where the child is most in danger of injury or death.

So, what can you do to protect your child? The NCMEC has built their campaign around three easy-to-remember words: No, Go, Tell. According to the campaign, when approached by a stranger who is asking for their help, children should remember:
No.Yell "No," as loudly as possible. This ensures that those around them know, or hear, that something is wrong.

Go. Run away from the stranger toward home, the nearest adult or neighbor the child trusts, or to a safe house (if the neighborhood has one).

Tell. Tell the adult they run to -- a parent, neighbor, or babysitter -- what happened.


Here are additional age-appropriate tips for keeping your child safe:

Preschoolers

Children under age 5 should always be under the direct supervision of a parent or guardian.

Help your child memorize his full name, address, and phone number.

Teach your child how to call home from a pay phone.

Make sure your child knows to call 911 in emergency situations.

Let your child know she has certain rights of privacy.

Teach your child the difference between a "good" touch and a "bad" touch.

Teach your child to recognize the types of "low-risk" individuals he may ask for help if he is lost -- including police officers, firefighters, school crossing guards, elderly women, and women accompanied by children.

Make sure your child knows another adult, besides her parents, whose help she may seek if she is hurt.


Tweens (6-10 years old)

Kids over the age of 5 begin to test boundaries. Grant your child enough freedom to help him develop confidence and independent thinking. However, be careful not to let your child get into a situation he can't handle. Parenting expert Faull recommends playing "what if" games to see how your child might react when confronted with challenging situations.

Encourage your child to pair up with a friend whenever she is away from you. Predators rarely focus on kids who aren't alone.

Require your child to check in with you before he leaves one site where he is playing and heads for another.

Make sure your child knows never to get into a car without your permission and to stay well away from strangers' vehicles.

Encourage your child to be a bit suspicious of strangers' motives.

Teach your child that the proper reaction to being accosted by a stranger is to yell "No," and run away.

Require your child to report to you when anyone -- even a relative -- asks your child to keep a secret or offers her money or gifts. Similarly, your child should always let you know if someone -- known or unknown -- wants to take her photograph.

Let your child know that people sometimes use tricks to lure children away from their homes. Make sure your child understands that adults should ask other adults rather than children for directions or help finding something, such as a lost puppy or kitten.

Consider making up a "secret password" only the family knows. This way, if someone approaches your child, saying he was sent by you or another family member, the child can ask for the password.

Teach your child "home-alone" safety (see our Home Alone Quiz).

Teach your child to recognize the types of "low-risk" individuals she may ask for help if she is lost, including police officers, firefighters, school crossing guards, elderly women, and women accompanied by children.

Teach your child to trust his "gut" instincts. If your child is feeling unsafe or uncomfortable, he should run and seek help.

Make sure your child knows another adult, besides you, his parents, that he might confide in if for some reason he felt he couldn't come to you.


Preteens and Teens

If you've laid the groundwork for safety throughout her childhood, you have only to reinforce it as your child grows up. All kids seek increasing amounts of independence as they mature. And there's no set age for a child to be granted increased freedom. As the parent, you must gauge your child's maturity and judgment.

Pairing up with a friend remains the rule. Make sure your kids know that they are at risk when alone.

Though kids this age may think they're in control, let them know that they may be in even more danger of predators at this age. Share real-life stories from the news to make them know that these risks are real.

Educate your child about sex and sexuality. A naive child is vulnerable to sexual advances by predators.

Make sure your child is aware that drinking (and drugs such as ecstasy) can affect judgment and make your child vulnerable.

Advise your child that nothing he owns -- no jacket, shoes, jewelry, or money -- is worth risking a life for. Your child must know that if he is approached by someone who threatens him over personal items such as these, the only safe thing to do is to give them up.

Make sure your child practices Web safety. (See our Internet Safety Tips for Kids.)


What Parents Can Do

You can begin by setting up a system of checks in your home and family. When you leave the house, always tell your children where you are going and when you'll be back. When you ask the same of them, they will have a good example to follow. Also:


Encourage your kids to talk. Experts say kids who speak with their parents openly and regularly develop higher levels of self-esteem and assuredness, which makes them less vulnerable to predatory behavior.

Know your kids' friends and each friend's parents. Have contact lists readily available.

Know your neighbors. They will look out for your child.

Establish a parental "backup," -- someone your child can go to in case of an emergency where a parent is not available.

Do you live in a neighborhood with a block organization? If there are safe houses, make sure your child is aware of them.

Do your children attend afterschool programs or day care? Inquire about the screening procedures at these places your child attends without you.

Don't buy clothing that advertises your child's name. A stranger may use this information to give your child the impression that he is a friend.

Morgan Bailey is a freelance writer living in New York whose articles have appeared in Parenting magazine, Parenting.com, and Family.com.


DNA Kits, Resources, and More

These nonprofit foundations, honoring children who were victims of abduction and murder, offer education resources, tips for reporting a missing child, and how-tos for assembling your own child-DNA kits.

The Amber Foundation for Missing Children http://ambercenter.org/

The Polly Klaas Foundation www.pollyklaas.org

These government sites offer education resources and statistics regarding missing children.


National Center for Missing and Exploited Children www.missingkids.org

Office of Juvenile Justice The Missing and Exploited Children's Program www.ojjdp.ncjrs.org


Quiz: Are Your Protecting Your Child from Abductors?http://msnfamily.healthykids.com/hk/quiz.jhtml?quizId=/templatedata/hk/quiz/data/104.xml

Jolie Rouge
03-21-2005, 01:20 PM
Age-appropriate guidelines for keeping kids safe
By Morgan Bailey

Uncommon Danger

If your anxiety is growing over your child's safety these days, you are not alone. Parents everywhere experienced a collective ripple of fear over the high-profile kidnappings and murders of Danielle van Dam, Samantha Runnion and Carlie Brucia, among others. And the safe return of Elizabeth Smart did little to alleviate those fears.


Prosecutor: Girl's DNA in Suspect's Car
By BEN FOX

SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) - The man charged with kidnapping and murdering 5-year-old Samantha Runnion went on trial Monday with a prosecutor saying DNA from the girl's tear drops was discovered inside the suspect's car.

Assistant District Attorney David Brent also said a 6-year-old playmate of Samantha will testify that Alejandro Avila walked up to the girls and asked if they had seen a Chihuahua puppy before grabbing Samantha, who screamed, struggled and yelled for help as she was dragged away.

Samantha's mother, Erin Runnion, shielded her eyes with one hand and looked toward the ground as the prosecutor described the DNA from Samantha's tears.

``Samantha Runnion's DNA is in this car,'' Brent said in his opening statement, holding a picture of Avila's green Ford Thunderbird.


Samantha was kidnapped on July 15, 2002, as she played with a friend outside her family's apartment. Her nude body was found a day after her disappearance in mountains some 50 miles from her home.


Avila, 30, has been in custody since his arrest three days after Samantha's death. He faces the death penalty if convicted of kidnapping, sexually assaulting and murdering the girl.


The defense was expected to begin its opening statement later Monday.


Brent said in addition to the tears on the inside door of Avila's car, DNA evidence of an unspecified type was on the car's center console and the girl had more genetic evidence under her fingernails. He did not specify whose DNA that was.


The autopsy showed Samantha was sexually assaulted before she suffocated from force placed on her upper chest, Brent said.


Samantha's death came amid a string of highly publicized child abductions, including the kidnapping of 15-year-old Elizabeth Smart in Utah. More than 4,000 people attended Samantha's funeral, and the case prompted California to post alerts on freeway signs whenever a child is abducted.


In 2001, a jury acquitted Avila of molesting two girls. Jurors in the Samantha Runnion case will be allowed to hear about the previous allegations, and Brent said the accusers from those cases would testify.



03/21/05 15:10

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