I just went to my first "death" as a hospice nurse

[Njean31]

and it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. this person had 0 qualitity of life and while it is sad, i think it was somewhat of a relief to his caregiver (wife) who for the past 10 years has had to provide total care to him. i am gaining confidence that i can do this by the day. i'm used to dealing with criminals/inmates.

i must be a glutton for punishment though because my three main jobs in my life so far have been as a bartender (in my early 20's) dealing with drunks, as a jail nurse dealing with murders, rapists, low-lifes, and now as a hospice nurse dealing with dying. I guess if i get acclimated to hospice, i can say i've dealt with all the negative aspects of society and have seen it all :(

[joni1269]

My MIL used to be hospice, but now she works with terminal children. She likes the pedi work better, but I think it would be harder with the kids.

You (and my MIL) must be special people - the world really needs you. Thank you!

[ladybugbhb]

((hugs to you)))
i am not sure that i could do it. and i KNOW that i could not provide care to a rapist, murderer or child abuser! so you must be a very strong person!

[Njean31]

gosh, thank you both for your nice comments :o

[Kelsey1224]

Njean...I'm with everyone else. What a special person you must be. Thank you for being there for people during this very difficult time. God bless you!!

[Njean31]

My MIL used to be hospice, but now she works with terminal children. She likes the pedi work better, but I think it would be harder with the kids.

You (and my MIL) must be special people - the world really needs you. Thank you!

oh, the children or even young adults will be what may break me if we ever get any. all of our pt's are very old. it's odd to see birthdates like 1906, 1909........ i don't know if i can handle a child. i know when i was in nursing school, i had to do a rotation in the pediatric ICU, and there was a boy of about 9 or 10 who had been shot in the mouth by his own daddy. i could not handle it, started crying and my teacher let me sit those 2 days out. i have never forgot that poor child's face :( God bless your MIL.

[onfire4god57]

Njean31;

I admire your dedication in life. Being a hospice nurse can be very stressful. I have been my husbands caregiver for the last 7 years and when time allows I am also a private duty end times caregiver. I still have a problem with becoming to emotional involved with the person I take care of. One woman that I was taking care of last year died on the 29th of December and it still bothers me whenever I drive past her old house. I know that it was sold and everything, but when I see the changes that the new owners did to it, it makes me think of how she would of reacted seeing those changes. She would have hated them.

So one word of advice don't get to attached, it's too heartbreaking when they die.

[Jolie Rouge]

{{{Njean31}}}

Bless you.

When my dad died a few years ago, the care and kindness of the hospice nurses was part of our strength. It was not a long illness as these things go - they brought a bed & equipment out on Friday morning and Daddy had slipped away by Monday. They helped us by interpeting the signs and telling us what to expect, they stood aside when we felt we "needed" to be doing something - anything, sat and held our hands when we cried because their was nothing we could do. They came by the funereal home and called my mother intermitantly for weeks after ....

I still say a prayer for them and all that you all do.

[Tasha405]

Double post :o

[Tasha405]

((((Hugs)))) I also admire you for the work that you do. I don't know that I would be able to do it.

[Njean31]

Njean31;

I admire your dedication in life. Being a hospice nurse can be very stressful. I have been my husbands caregiver for the last 7 years and when time allows I am also a private duty end times caregiver. I still have a problem with becoming to emotional involved with the person I take care of. One woman that I was taking care of last year died on the 29th of December and it still bothers me whenever I drive past her old house. I know that it was sold and everything, but when I see the changes that the new owners did to it, it makes me think of how she would of reacted seeing those changes. She would have hated them.

So one word of advice don't get to attached, it's too heartbreaking when they die.

thanks for the advice. i hope i learn not to. also, bless you for the work you do.

[Njean31]

{{{Njean31}}}

Bless you.

When my dad died a few years ago, the care and kindness of the hospice nurses was part of our strength. It was not a long illness as these things go - they brought a bed & equipment out on Friday morning and Daddy had slipped away by Monday. They helped us by interpeting the signs and telling us what to expect, they stood aside when we felt we "needed" to be doing something - anything, sat and held our hands when we cried because their was nothing we could do. They came by the funereal home and called my mother intermitantly for weeks after ....

I still say a prayer for them and all that you all do.

i'm sorry to hear about your daddy and I'm proud to hear how families take comfort in what hospice can do for them during these situations. i hope i can be like the ones who helped your family.

[schsa]

I don't know if I could be emotionally distant. I know that's what it takes to handle this sort of situation. I also know that there comes a point when there is no quality of life and that choosing hospice is the way to go. I admire you for being able to do this. You are giving comfort to so many people at one of the worst times in their life.

[Njean31]

I don't know if I could be emotionally distant. I know that's what it takes to handle this sort of situation. I also know that there comes a point when there is no quality of life and that choosing hospice is the way to go. I admire you for being able to do this. You are giving comfort to so many people at one of the worst times in their life.

thanks sara, check your pm's :)

[Blackberry]

I think it is wonderful what you do. My best friend is also a hospice worker who sits with and cares for the dying. She works with older patients too. I have alot of respect for you both. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do what you do.

[teenies*mom]

I don't think I could do it either - but thank god for people like you - when my FIL was at home dying - the hospice nurse that came in to take care of him was wonderful.
hugs to you and everyone else that can handle jobs like this.

[menanamama]

and it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. this person had 0 qualitity of life and while it is sad, i think it was somewhat of a relief to his caregiver (wife) who for the past 10 years has had to provide total care to him. i am gaining confidence that i can do this by the day. i'm used to dealing with criminals/inmates.

i must be a glutton for punishment though because my three main jobs in my life so far have been as a bartender (in my early 20's) dealing with drunks, as a jail nurse dealing with murders, rapists, low-lifes, and now as a hospice nurse dealing with dying. I guess if i get acclimated to hospice, i can say i've dealt with all the negative aspects of society and have seen it all :(it gets rough...not that you want patients to live in pain or with no quality of life...but constant death can get to you. make sure you have a lot of emotional support with your employer for if and when it happens. it is hardest with children and if you work with one that will prolly affect you most.

[queenangie]

Helping a family transition from the last few breaths of their loved one to being gone
takes a very special hospice nurse.
You should be very proud.

Nurses always remember when they saw their first birth of a child
and the first death of a patient.

Hugs,
Angie

[nanajoanie]

Njean31 - I salute you :) I still have hospice councelors coming to visit me since Tice's death the end of last year. Hospice is the most fantastic organizations in the world for everyone. Huggles to all of you and I seriously don't know how you do it with your caring for the family filled with so much compassion...

[Njean31]

gosh, i didn't know so many people has had contact with hospice. i was beginning to gain confidence, but now I KNOW i must.............it is such a comfort to families and i'm just the right person. AND... i do remember the first baby I saw born (other than my own), i was a nursing student and the mother was a drug addict who had herpes and couldn't have a vaginal delivery so they did a c-section and pulled that beautiful baby boy out of her womb...........yes...i cried. i hope i can learn not to become too attached.

[Njean31]

Njean31 - I salute you :) I still have hospice councelors coming to visit me since Tice's death the end of last year. Hospice is the most fantastic organizations in the world for everyone. Huggles to all of you and I seriously don't know how you do it with your caring for the family filled with so much compassion...


so sorry, i didn't realize you had hospice with your husband. thanks for your thoughts on hospice, the more i hear..........the more i think I CAN DO THIS!!!

[nanajoanie]

so sorry, i didn't realize you had hospice with your husband. thanks for your thoughts on hospice, the more i hear..........the more i think I CAN DO THIS!!!

I'm sure from reading about you, you can do it. I even have Tice's bather, chaplain, nurse calling on me plus the monthly counseor. And can you believe they are even going to take me out to lunch next week??? What is so cool is when my eyes start to leak, they have an of abundance hugs. Good bless you young lady :)