What would you do? Problems with teacher

[Mike'smom]

UPDATE
Mike came home yesterday with this story.

One of the kids was whispering to another and Mrs. Evil said "You aren't afraid of me are you?" The whole class looked up at her and she said "I can see I'm just going to have to prove to you all why you need to be afraid of me!"

I called the principle yesterday. I told him I felt this was bullying and if we don't allow it from students, it's not acceptable from teachers either. He said "This sounds so out of character from her." (NOT!) He's going to talk to her and call me today. I said I didn't want Mike to suffer any repercussions from sharing this with me.


Original vent/whine

My son asked a teacher to be excused to use the rest room. She said "No." He asked why and she said because we are in the middle of class. You don't neeed to go." They were done with thr work foer Friday and were working independantly on stuff that wasn't due until Monday. He had to wait 1/2 hour to use the BR. This teacher doesn't know his health, I feel she was just being controlling.

I met this teacher at open house, introduced myself and she was so rude to me. I asked what was available for gifted and telented kids and her response was "He'll just have to work hard or ask for extra work." HE'S 12 YEARS OLD!!! What 12 year old is going to ask foe MORE work? She calls herself a "professional educator" too.

I didn't work that hard at potty training to have someone else tell him when he did or didn't have to pee!

[bribella]

When I was in the 2nd grade I had a teacher that was like this. She made a rule that if you went to the bathroom during class you would lose your recess.
Me being only 6 or 7 yrs old , recess was important to me. One day I just had to go and she wouldn't let me , well next thing you know I had an accident. I got in trouble and was humiliated by this teacher. My parents ended up pulling me out of that school and putting me in private school.

[DivineMsDi]

Seems to me you have several issues. What grade is your son in (assuming 6th or 7th?).. As far as the teacher having a problem with going to the bathroom, I know teachers cannot stand having kids roam around the hallways and like to limit bathroom time. What kind of kid is your son? Is he the sort to leave the class and fool around and not come back promptly? Or is he trustworthy? (Just wondering so I can figure out why she is being so mean).

Secondly, if you want to know about gifted and talented, don't waste your time with her. If she is snippy to parents she doesn't have a clue. You can probably find more interesting ideas on challenging your son than this woman. Sounds like she is just going through the motions.

Remember, there's always the principal.... :D

[schsa]

Talk to the principal and make sure that this person knows that the teacher was rude to you. If your son doesn't see a difference in her behavior, then go to the school board. Some people should not be teaching and some people stay because they don't think that they can do anything else. Maybe it's time for her to find a new job. Away from children.

[CABANN]

I had the same kind of situation when my oldest was in 1st grade, he was in PE, when he told his PE teacher he needed to go to the bathroom. He was told no and he would have to wait until class was over. Then he made Zach do jumping jacks. Ofcourse Zach peed all overhimself and being as shy as he was back then, he didn't tell any one and sat in wet clothes all day. The next day I talked to the principal and now my youngest is in first grade, and I haven't had a problem with the PE teacher since.


So talk to the principal, it worked for me.

[Blondiex46]

OK about the bathroom thing. Some kids (not yours) ask to go to the bathroom all the time and so they give certain times that they can go. I would speak with the teacher and ask what the policy is for her room for bathroom breaks.

As far as the work for your child, have you had your child been evaluated for giftedness, if not you may want to ask the school to do for it in writing and get something more concrete about it. Make sure if you do ask for an evaluation you put it in writing, date it, address to the principal. If you ask them verbally you may not get the response as if you put it in writing. Good luck

[kaysee]

I had this same problem last eyar when my son was in 3rd grade, they were in the middle of class and he had to go, the teacher said no just we just did a class bathrooom break 15 mins ago and u said u didnt have to go, so my son left the room and went anyways cause he had to go bad, he got a detention as a result of it, i ripped the principal a new******** and have had no firther probelms with that situation lol

15 mins is a long time to a 3rd grader and he didnt have to go then so............. get over it lol

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

I would ask the principal to have a meetiung with him and the teacher (without giving details to him to ask her prior) I would then ask her in front of him,why she refused him when he had to use the restroom.

[jedmatters]

Many junior high or middle school teachers are not allowed to send students to the restroom during class. School rules do not allow it. Theya re trying to curb the gathering of cliques in bathrooms during classes. A few teachers give XX number of restroom breaks per week ( or six weeks) to each child, and once they hav eused all theirs up, they no longer get to go.


If your son has health issues, bladder issues or something, bring it up to the school nurse, and she can work something out with all his teachers where he is allowed one restroom break per class.

[Technologist]

Take this article with you, TO THE PRINCIPAL.... make sure you bold this part!!

"Incontinence occurs because children hold off urinating. In addition, when kids get too good at holding off, they can't relax enough to void when they have the opportunity, or they stretch their bladders and do damage," he added.

http://www.uihealthcare.com/news/news/2003/08/18pottybreak.html

Tell them that your child is not a disruption, this request is infrequent, and that your child is not asking to go to meet friends... He had a SUDDEN (meaning unplanned, unanticipated, but NECESSARY) urge to PEEEEEEE!

[Mike'smom]

Thank you so much for your opinions! I especially appreciate the article Technologist!

I've since learned this same teacher chewed another kid out for taking too long. He was gone 7 minutes. It takes 5 minutes to walk to the RR and back as they have to walk down and up 2 flights of stairs. So what if this kid needed to sit for a minute for pity's sake?

Mike is 12 and in the 7th grade. He was tested and identified as gifted (thanks to God) in 3rd grade and has been in "gifted and talented" classes until this year. He is very eager to please the teachers but doesn't put up with crap from the. He gives the respect he gets. He isn't disruptive and waits til the last minute to use the restroom because he tries to not miss anything. This year the kids are required to use a planner for EVERYTHING. If they use the RR, it is to be with them and signed by the teacher who's class they are leaving and returning to.

Here's what we've decided to do because Mike asked us NOT to do anything at this time. If this situation arises again, Mike is to ask twice to be excused and if refused (by any teacher, not just Mrs. Controlling) he is to use the restroom and go immediately to the principal's office and ask the principal to call me. That's when I get to rip some new ones!

[flute]

Well, unfortunately, sometimes schools make these rules. We have a local one that has made that rule. The students aren't allowed to leave the room. For anything.

It's unfortunate, and not necessarily fair, but this is what our school systems have come to. *sigh*

[janelle]

It would be good if you could talk to the teacher about her bathroom rules, maybe with the principal involved.

I think today kids abuse the bathroom privliges just to fool around. I'm not saying your kid does but so many do that teachers are getting tough on it. My SS wanted to leave class to go but the teacher told him no. This was in high school. Well my SS was one to fool around just to get out of class and "visit" in the bathroom. So find out what is going on. I know it's always the few that makes it hard for all the students but that seems how it goes.

My SS went off on the teacher--but that was a pattern he had with teachers--and got suspended for a day. He had to follow the janitor around all day. His mother wanted to get the teacher fired and raised all kinds of hell. That was her pattern as well.

I wouldn't be a teacher now for anything.

[YYounghouse]

well, the bathroom thing- I have nothing to add except to agree with the posters who has stated these rules are often out of the teachers hands. My entire campus just got an email from the Admin. stating we are NOT to let the kids go during seminar " a built in study period" wow, I was floored, it is a time when direct instruction is not going on, so I was letting students go one at a time instead of my normal three times a six weeks. ( high school- 3 is more than enough) but now, nobody can go- and the study period is just over an hour.

but the GT situation? most states ( I do not know about Ohio) stop pull out for identified students in seventh grade and those students are encouraged to participate in Pre-AP classes.

I will say when you encourage you child not to "put up with crap" you are POSSIBLY ( not always, but often) creating a situation where the student may look for an opening to have a disagreement. Remember school is the training ground for work and we all have to put up with people at work who we do not agree with- and the higher the salary, the more you must bite your lip. I think, unless he has a health problem, you serve his needs more by saying " She doesn't sound fair, but she is the authority, we respect authority" you might want to add that he should get as much education as possible so that he may one day be in authority and remember to treat those in his care better.

[belle5691]

Im really, really, really not wanting to start anything here. And I do agree that I would be upset if a teacher did this to my kids. But.....why when people got all up in arms about a boy with obvious problems pooping in the floor, is it okay to recommend to other kids to go ahead and use the floor or trashcans if the teacher says no to the bathroom? Its still a health hazard.

[Mike'smom]

I respect everyone's opinion and I appreciate your input.

I do NOT encourage my son to disrespectful. I teach my son to respect his teachers as well as others and to treat others as he would like to be treated and HE'S A GREAT KID. I do, however, feel my son's health is important. He knows when he needs to use the restroom and he knows the consequences of peeing his pants in front of other 7th graders. Humiliation doesn't equal authority.

[clc]

My brother had this teacher in the 6th grade - or her evil witch twin!

After he got a bladder infection from holding it every afternoon, my mom sent a note to Ms Witch about how he had to go when he said - it was a medical necessity. Ms Witch still told my brother to just hold it - that he could go on recess & lunch and if he needed to go inbetween, well it was never more than 2 hours until the next break :eek:

My mom also told him that if she wouldn't let him out of the classroom as needed, then he was to take the "sick card" and go directly to the nurse's office when he had to use the restroom. Mid-morning, he had to go, so he grabbed the card & ran for the office (I guess she figured he had to puke or something because she didn't stop him). After telling the nurse why he had come down to her office, the nurse called the principal & my mom and kept my brother there until they could set up a meeting. According to my mom, the nurse was pretty mad about it too - and they got that teacher straightened out on the need for people to go when they need to go :o

My mom said that having the nurse involved was the best part since she was able to verify that you can indeed cause medical problems by forcing people to hold it in!

Good luck to your son & all the other kids there that are also having to deal with your Ms Witch!

[Mike'smom]

Thank you for sharing that CLC! I appreciate it. I'm not just looking out for Mike.

[Mike'smom]

UPDATE
Mike came home yesterday with this story.

One of the kids was whispering to another and Mrs. Evil said "You aren't afraid of me are you?" The whole class looked up at her and she said "I can see I'm just going to have to prove to you all why you need to be afraid of me!"

I called the principle yesterday. I told him I felt this was bullying and if we don't allow it from students, it's not acceptable from teachers either. He said "This sounds so out of character from her." (NOT!) He's going to talk to her and call me today. I said I didn't want Mike to suffer any repercussions from sharing this with me.

[azwup05]

Stand your ground! I am one of those that suffered the damage done by this policy when I was little. At 22 it cost me just over 17,000.00 in medical bills for that year. Repeated infections have scarred my kidneys, and the corrective surgery only does so much. I have made it clear to those at the school that my children are to go when they have to and that my children understand that if they abuse this that not only the school will be punishing them. I have had no problems from the school, and many did not realize the harm that can be done.

[Mike'smom]

((((((((((azwup)))))))))))))) I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I hope your problems are over soon.

While I was in the grocery today, I heard my cell phone beep. I had miss a call and when I retrieved my voice mail it was MRS EVIL HERSELF! She said she would call me at home tomorrow!!! Do you think she's going to try to prove to ME why I should be afriad of her?