I can't believe I was treated this way

[mimi37]

Yesterday was my sister's husbands funeral. After the service, friends and extended family were permitted to file past the casket to say goodbye. Then they were supposed to leave the room so that the immediate family could say their goodbyes. I was sitting right behind my sister. The funeral director came up and told me I had to leave the room because only immediate family was to be in the room. I told him I was immediate family, that I was the widow's sister. He said I wasn't immediate family and that I had to leave. I was so devastated. I went out in the hall and was crying. My husband came and asked me what was wrong. I told him what had happened. He went and spoke to the funeral director and I still wasn't allowed in. :( My sister's three step-children were there with their spouses and all the grandchildren were there, as they should be. But the 16 year old grand daughter's boy friend was allowed to be there and I wasn't. I should have been allowed to be there to comfort my sister. I wasn't even allowed to say good bye. :(

[Willow]

I'm sorry that happened to you. :( (((((mimi37)))))

[Angelseyes28]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. That was not the funeral directors decision to make, it was your sisters.

[silvermist]

Wow that's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you :(

[Tasha405]

OMG! I'm so sorry. (((Hugs)))

Why didn't your family speak up and say that were indeed immediate family so that you could stay? Do you think that maybe someone in the family requested you be removed from the services?

[DivineMsDi]

How awful. I am not sure why they did this....It was just not right....your sister could have used you there..... :mad:

[catdance]

AWW!!! That makes no sense..((HUGS)), the way you were treated kinda defeats the idea of kidness in a very bad time, doesn't it..

[LuvBigRip]

It is unfortunate that you were asked to leave, but why did you? Without your sister stating that you have to leave, there was nothing he could do to make you leave. I know I would have told him exactly where he could go if it was me.

[nightrider127]

MImi, I am so sorry this happened to you. You should have been there to support your sister. Do you think that maybe someone was trying to spare your feelings since it has not been that long since you said goodbye to your Mother?

I really don't believe in an open casket funeral. To me, what is there is just an empty house. I know I got some people upset when I had my Daddys casket closed before the services began. I did this to spare his sister who has a heart condition and already had been at the point of collapse several times.

Before I got any more upset, if I was you, I would go talk to my sister and find out why. I know it was left up to her so she made that decision but she may have had good reason to do so.

[ladyseals]

Oh sorry this happened :(

[ang in NC]

Ask your sister, if she said she didn't tell them,then go to the funeral home and complain.
Sorry. Funerals aren't cheap so it should be done right.

[mimi37]

My sister isn't even aware that I was asked to leave. She was talking to her step son who was sitting beside her. I don't think that anyone would ask me to leave. There would be no reason for that. I just feel that I was robbed of the chance to say goodbye. I was going to say something about it to her today but I felt that it would just upset her more. A lot of other things went on the day before the funeral that had us all on edge. My sister's oldest stepson made a big deal out of who should be pallbearer and who shouldn't. He told my sister that she had no say-so in who should be pallbearer. Things got really ugly Sunday night after I had already left the funeral home. He was so mean to my sister that she passed out and had to be taken to the hospital. When her youngest stepson's friend, who is a EMT, stepped in to help my sister, he accidently bumped into the older stepson's wife. He took it as his wife was being hit and while the friend was helping my sister, the oldest stepson punched him in the face several times. He had to get stitches above his eye, has a partially detached retina and got a broken tooth. Everyone was really on edge at the funeral Monday morning. :(

[bsg_06]

You did the right thing by not making a scene. As bad as forcing you to leave was, it would have been worse had you forced a confrontation at an obviously stressful time. Obviously, the funeral director was misinformed. You should definitely file a complaint in the next few days, though.

[laughsalot]

Hugs to you, I am sorry this happened to you.

[joni1269]

{{{{{mimi37}}}}}

This is sooo terrible. Sounds like everyone is just freaking out. Do you think your sister's stepsons had you removed?

[nightrider127]

{{{{{mimi37}}}}}

This is sooo terrible. Sounds like everyone is just freaking out. Do you think your sister's stepsons had you removed?

My thoughts exactly since reading mimi37s last post. If one of the stepsons did that, he overstepped his bounds. I would go to the owner or whoever was in charge and ask whos idea it was. And if it was the stepson, I would go to him and let him know exactly how I felt about his meddling.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

My sister isn't even aware that I was asked to leave. She was talking to her step son who was sitting beside her. I don't think that anyone would ask me to leave. There would be no reason for that. I just feel that I was robbed of the chance to say goodbye. I was going to say something about it to her today but I felt that it would just upset her more. A lot of other things went on the day before the funeral that had us all on edge. My sister's oldest stepson made a big deal out of who should be pallbearer and who shouldn't. He told my sister that she had no say-so in who should be pallbearer. Things got really ugly Sunday night after I had already left the funeral home. He was so mean to my sister that she passed out and had to be taken to the hospital. When her youngest stepson's friend, who is a EMT, stepped in to help my sister, he accidently bumped into the older stepson's wife. He took it as his wife was being hit and while the friend was helping my sister, the oldest stepson punched him in the face several times. He had to get stitches above his eye, has a partially detached retina and got a broken tooth. Everyone was really on edge at the funeral Monday morning. :(

:eek: Good Lord,he sounds like a real wiener err I meant winner.

So sorry you were made to leave.I feel bad for your sister,what a mess.If i was her I would ask the oldest step son "so,If I have no choice in who is a pallbearer does this mean you are paying the bill?"

[janelle]

Mimi maybe it was a good thing you left. Sounds like a mess with blended family problems. I can't believe people would get into a fight at a funeral. :mad:

Guess your sister and hubby should have made a plan about how his funeral would be handled a long time ago. Good idea for blended families. I need to talk to my hubby about this subject.

The funeral director then could have been informed by your sister who she wanted to be with her and who should have been escorted out if they made trouble.