today -- one of the worst days for me ever

[mightyman]

i went this morning to get fitted at mens wearhouse for my tuxedo for my sisters wedding -- i was there 2 hrs

when i got there - no one was in the store - they took me back to the tuxedo area - measured me up - 66 chest, 54 waist, etc.

so they tell me they dont have anything for me to try on in the store...

i said fine - get the suit now and i will try it on next weekend - no cant do that - must wait until it comes in - i said no way - when my bf got married the rental was hell - it took 3 times to even get it close and nothing fit me right - as a large man its very hard for me to look good in anything and ihave to try it on

then a young couple walks in and they start helping them with a tuxedo pick - im fine - ill sit over here and wait - finally im like cmon help me damnit i was here first - big manager starts raising his voice - i said do we have to let the whole store know what is going on?

so finally he said he would call the dist. center tomm and ask them if they will ship it to the store for me to try on, tho he thinks they wont unless i pay for this rental too...

so an hour into this - we go to the register and guess what - they dont carry the jacket she picked out in my size - now im really happy now you can imagine

so now im gonna look different again - the vest only comes in 2x and they will put a whole bunch of extenders on the back - im sure that will look like horse****...

im so mad right now but also so upset - i cried the whole way home

anyway thanks for listening - sorry to waste the bandwidth.

-- allen

[halvarado]

i am sorry that they were so rude to you. there was no reason for that. i hope you can figure something out :(

[MamaFairal]

Allen~ sorry you had a bad morning.....dont let it get ya down ok hun :)

[catdance]

OMG!!! Sweetie..ick!! They treated you so badly, that is wrong, if I were you, I would call the Store on Monday, and let them know what happened, you are the CUSTOMER, no matter how you got there, you are the one to be treated with RESPECT, not the other way around, what that clerk did, if I were the "BOSS", that person would have to answer to ME, and I have read your issues, and feel your feelings, and I bet, you are so UPSET, and rightfully so, if you "agree" with that treatment, do NOTHING, if not, do SOMETHING..don't ever allow yourself, no matter what color/weight/creed, etc, allow yourself to be "stunned" like this..not only was this store way outta line, but more, they hurt your feelings, and that, isn't fair, and I believe, that is called "discrimination"..so you "pat your eyes", and "buck up", and make sure, you call that store or thier corperate offices and let them know what happened, to you..I send you BIG (((((HUGS)))), you deserve, that..

[turbob]

OK, first, I agree with Catdance - they have NO right to treat you like that and I would be at the store when it opened on Monday to talk to the manager. Second, don't sweat looking different. Hold your head up and carry it off. Different is better! And, being large isn't bad - not to sound crude, but my grandmother used to say "who wants meat without potatoes"? LOL - hope it gets better for you

[Angel Lips]

im sorry that some people have to be so rude.

[peaceluver]

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) It sounded like you could use one after that. I hate rude people.

[ckerr4]

Is there any way you can try a different rental place? I know that your sister and her fiance probably picked out this place so that everyone could easily acquire the same tux, but if they don't have what you need in the right size/style, then that plan won't work anyhow. Maybe there is another store in the area that has the same style and pattern in the size you need (or something so similar that the differences wouldn't be noted); you wouldn't get it from Men's Wearhouse, but you would look like the other guys in the wedding. If you went into another store, and told them what you needed, and how badly you were treated at MW, maybe you could get a decent deal too :)

[YankeeMary]

Allen, I am sorry that you came away from there feeling so horrible. Shame on them I agree go somewhere else. I know where you are, so I know there are a bazillion other stores that would be happy to have your business. Hugs, I hope your day gets better.

[bell_peaches]

Sorry you had to go through all that. My son is a big man also. He has the hardest times getting cloths. never mind football clother or jrarotc uniforms. Sorry you had to go through that see what the manager can do for you. Best of luck ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

[tsquared]

Allen...........sorry there are rude people out there and you had to run into them........i bet you will be looking very dapper no matter what you wear to the wedding.

[SCRAPPIN']

I'm sorry too, that they treated you so horribly. You have to stand up for yourself, nobody will do that for you. Follow up on this and take care. Keep your chin up.

[Countrymom]

I am so sorry that you were treated so badly. :( (((((Hugs)))))

[mightyman]

i think everyone is missing the point -- im sad because of my weight - not because they didnt have my size

im sad because i cant barely do anything anymore

[mightyman]

btw this aint even the worst -- when i got fitted for my best friends wedding 2 yrs ago - the 3 of us went together - the idiot little girl brought out a tape measure that didnt even fit around me -- now if you dont think that is the worst - i dont know what is

[nosamiam]

{{{{{mm}}}}}

[Tadbit]

mightyman, I understand your pain. My daughter and I have both put on so much weight. When she got married, I wanted to look good for her wedding pictures and she did as well, but we didn't. The pictures came back and of course we both felt bad looking at them. I have been trying to lose my weight this summer, walking and watching my diet, and it seems like it just doesn't want to budge. I can't afford the expensive diets, nor could I handle doing that Adkin's diet, so I have just been cutting out all snacks and sugar, drinking lots of water. I have no magical answers for you. You may be able to drop a few pounds before the wedding but even if you don't, you can always work toward getting it off for yourself. Otherwise it isn't going to come off anyway. I wish you lots of luck with it and in the meantime, don't get discouraged, because that will make you just get depressed. And if you are anything like me, I eat when I get depressed, which defeats everything. Think positive! You can lose the weight! We are all a supportive bunch here and we can encourage you, when you need it. Good luck and Congrats to your sister.

[Shann]

I'm sorry you are having a bad day. I hope things get better for you.

[menanamama]

i went this morning to get fitted at mens wearhouse for my tuxedo for my sisters wedding -- i was there 2 hrs

when i got there - no one was in the store - they took me back to the tuxedo area - measured me up - 66 chest, 54 waist, etc.

so they tell me they dont have anything for me to try on in the store...

i said fine - get the suit now and i will try it on next weekend - no cant do that - must wait until it comes in - i said no way - when my bf got married the rental was hell - it took 3 times to even get it close and nothing fit me right - as a large man its very hard for me to look good in anything and ihave to try it on

then a young couple walks in and they start helping them with a tuxedo pick - im fine - ill sit over here and wait - finally im like cmon help me damnit i was here first - big manager starts raising his voice - i said do we have to let the whole store know what is going on?

so finally he said he would call the dist. center tomm and ask them if they will ship it to the store for me to try on, tho he thinks they wont unless i pay for this rental too...

so an hour into this - we go to the register and guess what - they dont carry the jacket she picked out in my size - now im really happy now you can imagine

so now im gonna look different again - the vest only comes in 2x and they will put a whole bunch of extenders on the back - im sure that will look like horsesh**...

im so mad right now but also so upset - i cried the whole way home

anyway thanks for listening - sorry to waste the bandwidth.

-- allen
don't get why ppl are like that. 'round here they are pretty live and let live. sorry to hear but some ppl are just like that

[1tiredmom]

i'm sorry that you went thru all that & i can relate to what you are saying-my brother in law got married about 5 years ago and since bil(hubby's brother)their mom died & my hubby is the oldest it was like us being you know hiarches(sp-you get what i mean)i tried to lose weight before the wedding -when i saw the pics i wanted to die of embarrassment i looked like peach colored maytag freezer-call me dumb, or whatever then my ss got married last year and there was no way i was going to that wedding because of the weight i gained & didn't want my hubby's ex-wife there so when i colored my hair to cover the gray (ss always teases me about it telling me there's lady clarol out there)somebody or it came from the factory instead of having the brown color it was black-blacker than sin-& all i could do was cry-winded up staying home between being fat & black hair and he said be expected to be in pictures with the entire family was more than i could bear

i understand what you are going thru -but each day i get up & try all over again gotta start somewhere -i try to keep a lot of cold water so when i go to the fridg i grab that instead of something else
(((((hugs))))))ann

[erniemarie]

Allen you know I love you just the way you are sweetie, you know I'm not that small either and I hate being the weight I am too, what makes it even worse though is when they treat you like crap because of your weight, it just reminds you all over again how much you do weigh and how much you hate it and it just makes you feel miserable, I've been through the same thing trying to get clothes as well, its ok sweetie and me and the babies all give ya ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

[msmom79]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{allen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[catdance]

Hey "Mighty Man", if that is true you feel badly about your weight, ok, now you at the "admitting point", so perhaps, you will think about ways to "lose some weight" etc., but I stand FIRM to the way you were treated at that store, you already KNEW you were a 'big guy", but that doesn't excuse the behavior directed exactly to you, on behalf of that store, period.
All they did was "rub some salt" in your wound, and that is absoultely "NOT OK", so I didn't really miss your point..what is true, no matter your size, etc., that was plain and OUTRIGHT, outrageous, nasty behavior, by your clerk.. they didn't have to remind YOU what YOU already knew..you are the customer, at any size, and you have the right to be "served with respect", under any condition, or they should have told you in a very POLITE way, what they were thinking about your situation, and needs, and weather, (SP), they could serve your needs..NOT how they handled it..
I am standing FIRM, "M.M."..
((HUGS)), sweetie..

[Tasha405]

((((Mighty Man))))

[Azriel_LittleHawk]

*HUG* sorry to hear it's been such a hassle!! Store Clerks can be noptoriously rude. i just keep picturing how the one in pretty woman treated julia roberts, an how she NAILED EM BOUT it!! these people are ass's!!

[Azriel_LittleHawk]

oh an lets remeber the folks who oh so kindly deem it wise to cut down teh plus size people, thinking it will "spur them to lose weight" . um..are these folks MENTAL?? i just do not get it.
lets be honest the last 2 prejudices allowed in our society are against gays and those who are overweight. now..it's politicaly incorrect to hassle with gay folks **MIND YOU>>I am all for a person living their life being happy with whomever as long as no one gets hurt.** but fat prejudice? is still ALIVE and WELL!!! and it totaly bites.

[catdance]

OMG..Mighty Man..YOU went to MEN's Warehouse, how ever one spells that, George Zimmeran say's, "I guarentee it", and you had better use that line he use's to you advantage..this guy is the COOLEST man in the WORLD, and he will make this right, I responded to this, and re-read that, all you wrote and responses, I know his word is "good", my family KNOW'S him, well, he is nothing but "FORTHRIGHT" and he would be FURIOUS if he knew this happened at one of his STORES, I swear, on myself, (I have no kids), so I PICK me..if you don't wanna call, I will..you can PM me..I will make sure you get what you needed, at the cost of someone's, very pathetic way of treating you..he (GZ), isn't a very SMALL guy either..this is so at your "ADVANTAGE", and after all..he on the TV.."guartentee's it" and if you got personal on yourself, so be it, still it remains..you were treated, so badly...and Mr. Zimmerman, would hate to know that, and you should call them, if you can't, you tell me, I will..

[llbriteyes]

i think everyone is missing the point -- im sad because of my weight - not because they didnt have my size

im sad because i cant barely do anything anymore

I'm there with you. I understand how it is to get sizing right. However, the store employee had NO RIGHT to treat you as he did. I think you should go over his head and DEMAND satisfaction. You have that right. I have found in my travels shopping that we are treated differently based on size. I hate it. There's one store in Ohio I refuse to go to (Value City), because upon entering the store, I literally saw a small group of sales people point and laugh. I used to be huge. I'm big now, but that came with a lot of hard work. You get to a point and say to yourself, "I have to do something." It took my daughter, who is also a big girl a very long time to get there.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you some encouragement.

((((( Mightyman )))))

Linda

[Greenly]

As everyone said the store had no right to treat you like that but the sad thing about it is they do. I know from experience! I HATE going to the store and when i walk in nobody says a word to me but like my sis in law (whos very thin & pretty) walks in EVERYONE comes to help her! Its just how people are. Its almost like they dont wanna be seen with "fat" people. And it makes them feel better to be with the "pretty" people. Well you know i used to let this get to me but after going through school and having people threatning my life and telling me to kill myself I said enough is enough. I am who I am. If you dont like it well theres the door. And now when i go in stores if i dont get the same assistance as anyone else I make my voice heard. I'll ask for the manager right there if that gets me no where I go up from there. Everyone has a boss. And eventually you'll get the answer you want.

Now as for being overweight well if it bothers you do something about it. I know it can be very hard. I have a hard time because honestly i cant afford the "healthy" foods. But if you try and watch how much you eat and try to do a little excersise it'll help alot. As soon as it cools down here and our land dries up *L* I'm gonna start walking. Thats a good excersise. If you dont like going outside do something inside. Theres alot of stuff you can do in the air conditioned house & watch tv while you're doing it. Just figure out what works for you.

I wish you luck my friend! If you ever need to talk I'm here for you!!

[iluvmybaby]

:( I was so sorry to hear how you were treated, I have been in the same place you have, email me at iluvmybaby2004 @ hotmail.com I would like to talk with you please. :) just put mighty man in the subject line so I dont delete it by accident, I am having the worst time with spam right now. You can PM me if you dont feel comfortable revealing your email address.

[buglebe]

Mighty Man Allen, yes I understand you being upset about your weight. I am upset about mine too. I am 5'7'' and weigh 304. I am diabetic and have all kinds of health problems. My doctor used to fuss at me about loosing weight.
Then one time I told him how really ashamed I am because of my weight and he was very sympathetic. He said no matter what some of us do we are going to be large. He told me to hold my head high and not to be so concerned about my looks, that there is so much more to me than my size. He meant that in a very sweet way. Since that time he does still try to work with me about my weight and I keep my sugar under control but he also is sympathetic to my feelings. He says we all have weaknesses and addictions, yes mine is food, and some of us have a condition that our addiction shows and some don't. He made me feel much better about myself. It used to be everytime I went to a new doctor no matter the problem they would start off with my weight. If I would just lose weight etc. My sister is smalll and has health problems. Now if I see a new doctor I start out saying I know I have a weight problem but this is a problem too. Don't be sad. We are all unique. I hid from life when I wasn't really fat but thought I was. Now I go swimming! I am 59 and decided I have hidden from life long enough. Just look at yourself and consider your good qualities and love yourself. That is most important. And forgive your ancestors. LOL

[mightyman]

my sister called the store in her city where the reservation was made - the woman said she was mad that this happened and said she would help

2 hrs later i got a voice mail that she cant do anything but i should call her back anyway

i cant believe this crap

[catdance]

Oh, yes you can beleive that CR*P, because this is called, "passing the buck", if you accept this behavior from that store, do NOTHING, again, but this is kinda more than that, there are other's, some posted here, this is about a level of discrimination, that get's, "swept" under the table, time and time again, now if I were you, you call the District Offices, and you get ahold of someone there, and you let them know you tried to make your "grievinces get heard", and that wasn't met to your "satisifaction", in the slightest..you let them know and E-mail them as well, I can understand this frustration, I was really heavy along time ago, but if you don't you are kinda letting not only yourself down, but a purtent "fight", that needs to get heard, and I betcha they find you a suit, and you won't have to pay..you have a real, relevant point here..and the FREE if is does happen, that is "off the point"..
If you need help, PM me, I would be more than willing, I didn't go to LAW SCHOOL, the (dummy I am) for nothing, though 1.5 years, was enough, you have seriously been violated..just my REAL 2 cent's...whatever that REP said, is outside the "arena" of how George Zimmerman got his millions..tempted to say.."WANT SOME"...
Being heavy isn't a crime, how it was handled, is.

[DivineMsDi]

Mightyman....I am sorry they treated you like this. I suppose we never think heavy men get this sort of thing happen to them. Even in the media, women are usually targets of fat phobia.

I know this is hard, but you are trying to lose weight and get in shape now. Remember this incident as something that motivates you to take care of yourself. Richard Simmons once said when he was at his heaviest someone pinned a note to his car saying "Fat people die young. Don't die." That was his rock bottom. Maybe this is your bottom.

I suggest you stop beating yourself up about this. Take responsibility for what you put in your mouth and how you move your body. These are the only 2 sure fire ways you will lose weight.

I can't say it is only thin people with a fat phobia because even heavy people will judge themselves on "I am not as fat as him or her..." when they see a large person.

Good luck. Weight loss and maintainance is a daily struggle. Be smart and be healthy. Keep us posted! I believe in you.... :D

[mightyman]

hi - wanted to drop you all an update

basically i spoke today to the store near my sister - and the district manager - the best they will do is bring it in 10 days before the event - which is really not 10 days because i go to school until late night on 3 nights a week - no way to get there then.

they have told me - "we cant ship it to the store now and then ship it back"

i told them that they are being discriminatory towards fat people and no one seemed to care

thats the update for now

[catdance]

Again, MM, I am NOT OKAY with any of of this, this is about really again I am telling you.."DISCRIMINATION", no doubt, and that is the best they can do....oh, no it isn't..this is a "bad joke" on you..and the millions of overweight people in the world..I PMed you, I wanna help, because again this is getting "swept under the table" and no one is treating you as a serious person, you owe this to yourself, to get them to "PAY ATTENTION" to you,your story is horrid enough, so let's do something..as stated, I will try again.."thier way of bussiness, is a CRIME, your weight, IS NOT"..the offer's of trying to HELP this situation, is LAUGHABLE, this is a MULTI MILLION DOLLAR Company and just like VOTING, you make a difference and well you start here..my 2 cent's, overspoken, I am sure..And I swear, if George Zimmerman knew, you can call his HOTLINE..did you know that it is on his commerical's..all those people saying "HOW GREAT THEY ARE"..dare you..

[Cowgirlie_in_Tennessee]

Unfortunately I think I have to agree with the poster who is pushing for you to DO something. If you won't do it for yourself because you've just gotten used to this behavior then do it for someone else... NO ONE should be tried this way. Maybe you're the only over-weight guy you know and think it's just you, but I can promise you someone somewhere right now is getting the same treatment you got-- so take a stand and be spokesperson for people of your size.

Do something!

[Willow]

Any update on the Tuxedo yet?

[mightyman]

nope - im gonna call back on tuesday - i guess they assume ill just go away
but i cant this is my sisters wedding

blah

i only got power back at noon today

[tammy77]

Im not sure if this will help you or not since you want to rent a tux.Would you consider buying a tux?Go to www.casualmale.com (George Foremans clothing line).Do a search for tuxedo.This is what I found...

pants..$125
shirt..$80
jacket..$275
free shipping on orders $125 or more.

total=$480
I know this is probably more then a rental and what you want to spend.

[BBBunny]

I agree with Tammy on this point. You didn't mention how much it would cost to rent a special-sized tux (I got the impression that this company had very few[if any] tuxes in your size). Maybe if you purchased a quality custom tux, then had it refitted whenever you lost weight, you would be far happier with how you were treated and how you looked. I do know that there is a huge difference between the quality of a rental and a custom made tux, if you know you'll wear again it will pay for itself in the long run.

I say look for a reputable suit store/tailor in your area and own your size during your fitting. A good tailor will know how to fit someone comfortable with their own body.

Good luck!

[Donnagg123]

**This is not directed at anyone here just my own experiences**

I hate when people say well if you would just lose the weight or stop eating and that will solve it all like you had a choice in being big or not, well...there are some who don't. Eating is not the ONLY way that a person can get big and sometimes no matter how hard you try you just can't get the weight off. Also, people telling you to lose weight and this or that or treating you different (like the people in the store) because of it isn't the motivation you need to lose weight. The beautiful thing about humans is we are all unique and diffferent. Not all of us are meant to be skinny and not all are meant to be big. You just have to look at yourself and know if you are happy with your own skin, it is so much better for your peace of mind. It sounds like you are not, but you know sometimes if you just learn to accept yourself for who you are and know that a person who is nice on the inside is much more sexier and beautiful than looks alone.

[tammy77]

**This is not directed at anyone here just my own experiences**

I hate when people say well if you would just lose the weight or stop eating and that will solve it all like you had a choice in being big or not, well...there are some who don't. Eating is not the ONLY way that a person can get big and sometimes no matter how hard you try you just can't get the weight off. Also, people telling you to lose weight and this or that or treating you different (like the people in the store) because of it isn't the motivation you need to lose weight. The beautiful thing about humans is we are all unique and diffferent. Not all of us are meant to be skinny and not all are meant to be big. You just have to look at yourself and know if you are happy with your own skin, it is so much better for your peace of mind. It sounds like you are not, but you know sometimes if you just learn to accept yourself for who you are and know that a person who is nice on the inside is much more sexier and beautiful than looks alone.


AMEN :D

[mightyman]

btw in case anyone is interested - i got a call from another district manager about 10 days ago - he said he would help me - i told him how upset i was over this whole thing - he said he would make it right - a week ago the suit was in for me to try on - about 6 weeks in advance - i told him he made it right - so now we will see when i go to pick it up in about 10 days

[1tiredmom]

btw in case anyone is interested - i got a call from another district manager about 10 days ago - he said he would help me - i told him how upset i was over this whole thing - he said he would make it right - a week ago the suit was in for me to try on - about 6 weeks in advance - i told him he made it right - so now we will see when i go to pick it up in about 10 days



Good for you MM! I'm glad you took the advice of the others to keep on top of this matter--keep us informed of it all
as i said before i know exactly how you feel but keep taking each day as a new one to start over fresh!--btw when is your sister's wedding date?
Have a good one !!!((((hugs)))))ann ;) ;) :)