Last Comic Standing 9/7 8:00 4500-4800+ pts.

[mficke0713]

What did Rob see someone on a street corner do?
*Hustle house plants

What did Tammy say about Michael Jackson and Donald Trump?
*Had no friends

What was wrong with Jay's hair-loss book?
*Shed pages

Why was Gary embarrassed?
*Lived with parents until age twenty-six

What did the Internet do that baffled Gary?
*"Abbreviated" the word at

What did both team captains do before competition?
*Nominated selves to perform

What happened to Sean and Kathleen at the end?
*Reinstated with teams

How did Ralphie open up his set?
*Thanked fans for his condolences

What did Tess suggest an athletic man do for her on a date?
*Hike to store to buy her treat

What did Rob say he did because he was so broke?
*Wrote postcards on back of stamps

Why did the Season Two team breathe easier at the start of the show?
*Found out they won last week

What did Rich hope he could do to an animal rights activist?
*Beat like baby seal

What did Ralphie May say about his pants?
*People should stay away from his size

What kind of car did Ralphie May mention before he said people should stay away from his size pants?
*Impala

What did Alonzo Bodden say bothered him about car sales people?
*Changed features offered on car

What internet service provider appeared on screen when Alonzo Bodden joked about the changing car features?
*NetZero

What did Jay Mohr say he was available to do?
*Film commercials

What internet provider's logo was visible on-screen when Jay Mohr said he was available to film commercials?
*NetZero

[littlel]

Thanks mficke0713! :D


In a commercial during this show, what did a children and adults do as a girl recited a poem beginning "Roses are red... "?
Ate sweets
Splenda
Tastes like real sugar

In a commercial during this show, what did a woman wearing a green shirt do after her art teacher instructed the class to do a self-portrait?
Painted oil painting of red SUV
Jeep Liberty
Has been restyled to match your personality

In a commercial during this show, what did an announcer do while a woman showered, ran her hand through clothes in a closet, and relaxed naked on a rug?
Talked about skin cleansers
Olay Complete Body Wash
Nourishes and makes skin very soft

In a commercial during this show, why did a man barge in on his wife while she was taking a shower?
Show her dirt on mop
Swiffer Dry Cloth
Picks up more dirt than ever

In a commercial during this show, what did couples do as they sat by a window with a city view and lay on a rug by candlelight as song titles scrolled across the screen?
Ate hamburgers
Burger King
Original Whopper

[dreemin]

In a commercial during this show, what did a woman in white do after mentioning a compliment that many people pay her as photographs of another woman's face appeared?
Raved about skin care product
Neutrogena Visibly Even
NOT.. Can help you look up to ten years younger

In a commercial during this show, what caused two boys in pajamas to scream while they stayed at a hunting lodge?
Stuffed animal trophies
Expedia.com
NOT..Plan daily vacation itinerary

In a DVD/VHS commercial during this show, what did a group of cartoon farm animals try to do?
Prevent farm from being sold
"Home on the Range"

[jatan]

In a commercial during this show, what did a man wearing a shirt and tie do while standing in front of a mirror and while looking at a paper bag?
Recited reasons to use Internet provider
NetZero
Ronald McDonald House Charities

In a commercial during this show, what did a woman in a history class do as a result of "feel good fashion" before people danced in front of different colored backgrounds?
Proclaimed her love for the subject
Old Navy
Low prices starting at $20

In a commercial during this show, what news about a man who was at a doctor's office with his two friends caused the doctor to faint before close-ups of food were shown?
Had become full from eating item from a "value menu"
Taco Bell
Spicy Chicken Burrito

[exferryguy]

In an advertisement during this program, what was a string quartet performing onstage made of?
Water
GE
Purify water

In a commercial during this show, what did red and silver vehicles do for kids and adults who went to the beach, jumped into a river, and moved in groovy dance-like motions, as a hip-hop tune with the lyrics "Here we go!" was heard?
Allowed them to do "more" fun and useful things
Toyota
Vehicles offer best overall miles per gallon

In a commercial during this show, what did two cousins in the pecan business do while discussing their trade and studying nuts with various instruments?
Ate breakfast food
Quaker
Has hearty, crunchy taste

What was the title of a new TV show, advertised during this program, about a man whose sister teased him about his dating skills?
Joey
September 9

In a commercial during this show, what did a sleeping man in blue pajamas do after his wife got out of bed in the morning?
Put arm around dog
Crest Night Effects
Whitens teeth for up to six months

[Annietd]

In a commercial during this show, what did an elderly woman do when a Girl Scout came to her door?

-Showed her dirt on mop
-Swiffer Dry Cloth
-Picks up more dirt than ever

[gar123]

In an advertisement during this program, what did a woman's family do when she took an item out of a grocery bag?
Hid themselves
Listerine Natural Citrus
Has less intense flavor than regular Listerine

[gar123]

In a commercial during this show, what did a young man do with his cell phone after agreeing to call his parents while they all stood in the doorway to a dorm room?
Scrolled through names in its directory
Verizon Wireless
Your family can call each other or any Verizon Wireless user for free without using your plan minutes

[chicodog]

Thanks !!

In an advertisement during this program, what did a couple completely fill their SUV with so that the man ended up riding on the roof?
Bottled water
Pur
Cheaper than buying bottled

[bethieb]

Thanks!

What was the title of a new TV show, advertised during this program, in which Blair Underwood and Heather Locklear shared the same place of employment?
"LAX"
Mondays

[gibber]

Thanks!

In a commercial during this show, what did a woman in white do after mentioning a compliment that many people pay her as photographs of another woman's face appeared?
Raved about skin care product
Neutrogena Visibly Even
Visibly improved skin of 100% of women tested

In a commercial during this show, what did a man and young girl do as they sat next to each other on lounge chairs?
Ate potato chips
Pringles
Great crunchy taste

[rosiesbrat]

In a commercial during this show, what did couples do as they lay outdoors, relaxed on a rug in front of a fire, and slow-danced together as song titles scrolled across the screen?
Ate hamburgers
Burger King
Original Whopper

[stargazed]

In a movie commercial during this show, what did Milla Jovovich do?
Escaped city of mutant zombies
Resident Evil: Apocalypse"