Well excuse the crap outta me!!!!!

[buttrfli]

To me an amber alert is IMPORTANT, so I posted the alert to our freecycle group.... big, BIG mistake!!!! I woke up to the following e-mail this moring...

I am sorry, as important as this is, it has nothing to do with our
FREE site. I deleted your postings about this. Over half the board
has received your message, though, as they get instant alerts or
daily digests....so your point got across.

In the future, please, refrain from posting things like that.

Thank you,

Mariann
group owner

Ok, it was wrong of me to help others be aware. I never "chit-chat" within the group as it is against the rules (understandable) and I am pretty quiet among the group unless I am giving something away.. except this time.

The boy was found safe, but my thinking at the time of me posting was, "what if?" what if one group member read the post and had no idea about the alert otherwise, went out to get coffee and actually saw the car in question?? I realize what a small chance that is, but... what if????

I also got another NASTY e-mail from a group member about how I was wasting her time... OMG!!!! Do WHAT??? And I am STILL getting e-mails from members who were upset that I posted it.

was I wrong? the e-mails really hurt my feelings... and believe me, its not easy to bring me to tears. God forbid something like that happen to the group owners child (I would NEVER wish that upon anyone, just making a point) you bet your sweet butt she would have posted everything she could to get her child back.

There is one person in our group that sends e-mails 5 or 6 times a day begging for things (and I do mean BEGGING) which is also against the rules, but does the owner ask her to stop?? NOPE!!!

Rules are rules, but apparently I was wrong when it comes to compassion for a fellow parent in panic mode over her child being taken.

Normally I can shake things off that bug me, but the genuine un-caring of these people is going to stick with me for a few days :( I'm more than likely going to just going to leave the group. I can't stand knowing that I would be giving things away to people like that.

[Willow]

That's awful that they don't think a missing child is something people should know about. I'm sorry they made you feel bad. One thing I'm learning which isn't always easy is to not let people have that kind of power over you and make you feel bad. You didn't do anything wrong. Some people can't see beyond the end of their own nose. I don't blame you for not wanting to give things away to those people. (((hugs)))

[Angel Lips]

dont let it bother you, your heart was in the right place on getting the message across. your a good person for doing that, and dont let anyones email or response bring you down.

[justinenycole26]

I am a Freecyle group owner. I would have done the same thing. The owner's response was polite. She was not nasty about it. If posts such as this are allowed, where are we to draw the line? The bottom line is, Freecycle is for Freecycle posts. That's it. We as group owners are given explicit instructions NOT to allow any post except for posts relating to Freecycle. There are websites all over the place that you can post Amber alerts on. They are placed on signs on the highway.

[moe265]

WOW. I am speechless. Maybe they should make a seperate area for those type messages but I think it is pretty bad that "posting things like that" are not allowed.

[Freebeemom]

As I agree with you that it is an important message, I also know that freecycle is pretty strict with their postings. I am also an owner of a freecycle group. It is a tough call....maybe you can post a link for a "Free" subscription to amber alerts so people can choose if they want to sign up for the service or not. Sadly, some people don't want to be bothered by this news. I have to say that I would probably have removed your posting as well. Although you have a BIG BIG heart, it opens the door to "HELP ME FIND MY LOST DOG" posts.....

Don't dispare...I think the owner was very sensative about it!

[KATinKY]

well should have posted it on our freecycle group, someone had uploaded a file to ours and also posted a messege to meet single blind women, and nothing was said about it.
well I am sorry it wasnt allowed, but remember it is people like you that helps find the kids, so dont let it bother you.

[justinenycole26]

well should have posted it on our freecycle group, someone had uploaded a file to ours and also posted a messege to meet single blind women, and nothing was said about it.
well I am sorry it wasnt allowed, but remember it is people like you that helps find the kids, so dont let it bother you.

That should not have happened. Is the ad still there? It's possible the owner of the group handled it with the individual instead of posting to the entire group about it. The person should have been banned, but again, it is handled with the individual.

[KATinKY]

That should not have happened. Is the ad still there? It's possible the owner of the group handled it with the individual instead of posting to the entire group about it. The person should have been banned, but again, it is handled with the individual.

yes it is still there... the messege and the file
Dating deaf, ASL singles in your city!!.htm
Here you can view dynamic, informative profiles of others interested in deaf or ASL singles! 15 KB sheisheraim 08/23/2004
and here is the meesege:
Browse hot deaf girls profile and find your lover here !!
Hundreds of sexy deaf singles are meeting here. If you are looking
for long-term relationship or casual dating
then you come to the right place.

And what gets me, is because she joined the same day she posted this...
sorry , dont mean to take over your thread.

[Willow]

Maybe if the owners of the free cycle groups had a missing child they just might feel differently.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Maybe if the owners of the free cycle groups had a missing child they just might feel differently.


Yep,I agree. If it were my child missing,I would want the word spread every where I could get it.

[MsLynn]

if it were me, i believe i would start pointing out every post that was against the rules, such as the BEGGING etc....

[Unicornmom77]

I am a Freecyle group owner. I would have done the same thing. The owner's response was polite. She was not nasty about it. If posts such as this are allowed, where are we to draw the line? The bottom line is, Freecycle is for Freecycle posts. That's it. We as group owners are given explicit instructions NOT to allow any post except for posts relating to Freecycle. There are websites all over the place that you can post Amber alerts on. They are placed on signs on the highway.


ITA As a freecycle group owner it is your responsability to moderate all posts and messages, I understand your concern but it was not the correct place to post it. Sorry you are having alot of truoble with it.

[twinkiesmom]

I would say, if they're gonna be sticklers about following rules, the next time u get an email from a beggar . . . . fwd it to the owner along w/a cut/paste of the beggar rule from their site. lol

Sry your good intentions backfired.

[Willow]

I think it's really sad that people aren't willing to make an exception when it concerns the life of a child. That's messed up. :mad: I sincerely hope that none of these people ever have to worry about their child being missing.

[buttrfli]

I think it's really sad that people aren't willing to make an exception when it concerns the life of a child. That's messed up. :mad: I sincerely hope that none of these people ever have to worry about their child being missing.

I agree... you would not believe the onslaught of nasty e-mail I have gotten today. I seemed to have really irked some people off because they had to delete a post that didn't consist of a freebie.... I'm sorry but its all beyond me.

I broke a rule.. ban me for goodness sakes but don't e-mail me 20 times in one day to make sure that I understand the rules.

Fine, there are rules... you can bet I won't post anything like that again.

[Willow]

I agree... you would not believe the onslaught of nasty e-mail I have gotten today. I seemed to have really irked some people off because they had to delete a post that didn't consist of a freebie.... I'm sorry but its all beyond me.

I broke a rule.. ban me for goodness sakes but don't e-mail me 20 times in one day to make sure that I understand the rules.

Fine, there are rules... you can bet I won't post anything like that again.


The people that feel that way aren't worth a minute of your time. It's a shame they have nothing better to do in their lives than to send you nasty email. It's obvious they are self centered and only worried about themselves. :rolleyes:

[JKATHERINE]

I think it's really sad that people aren't willing to make an exception when it concerns the life of a child. That's messed up. :mad: I sincerely hope that none of these people ever have to worry about their child being missing.

I agree, Patchouli. WTH? As the secretary of a non-profit missing children's organization and someone who has had someone in their family missing (my cousin, he was later found drowned) and a parent, I would welcome posts like that to my freecycle group--owner or not.

Freecycle is for recycling and reusing your old stuff, but also for spreading goodwill. People on my freecycle also share their talents (DJ'ing, painting, mechanic work, etc.). One day a woman posted that she needed to borrow a ladder because her cat was stuck in a tree. Three people showed up with ladders to help her and they all aided in rescuing the cat. Do I have to tell you all what a sense of community this gave a lot of us to know that there were STRANGERS out there willing to help this woman at a moment's notice?

The people who emailed you the nasty remarks are jerks. Forget them and know that you are a good person just trying to help out a fellow parent. And, like others have posted, if it were THEIR kid, they'd be posting repeatedly!!

[buttrfli]

Freecycle is for recycling and reusing your old stuff, but also for spreading goodwill. People on my freecycle also share their talents (DJ'ing, painting, mechanic work, etc.). One day a woman posted that she needed to borrow a ladder because her cat was stuck in a tree. Three people showed up with ladders to help her and they all aided in rescuing the cat. Do I have to tell you all what a sense of community this gave a lot of us to know that there were STRANGERS out there willing to help this woman at a moment's notice?


You have no idea how I wish our freecycle site was like yours :( For the last two days (aside from my posting) the group members have been bashing a lady asking for help.. I mean they are downright MEAN about it!

Heres only part of what the OWNER posted to this poor woman...

I have received a few emails regarding you, today. Some people are
upset because they have helped you by giving you things that you have
asked for (some brand new - and a LOT of items) because of you posting
a need or of a family member need - and now you are going to start
selling your things at the flea market. Some have mentioned that
there are people living with you who are of working age but are not
working. They, and I must admit myself, too, wonder at your motive
for getting things for FREE off of our free cycle site and then posting
that you are going to sell things for extra $$. It seems to not be
looking in your favor right now....

Then she (the owner) goes on to admit that she resells things on Ebay that she gets from the group....

I, myself, sell things on eBay, however, it's not normally something
that came from freecycle. The only times I DO sell something from
this site is if it's something that I have used and no longer want
(and would prefer to try to sell)

PLEASE tell me that this is not as messed up as I think it is??

I can say for a fact that the woman she was speaking to in the group (rather than doing this privately) had said in a previous post that she was selling things from her home at the flea market to get money for groceries... she never said that she sold the things she got from freecycle and in fact listed everything that was given to her and told the people who gave them to her to contact her if they wanted the items back (this was over the fact that the owner accused her of selling the freecycle things)

I am sorry if I take this personal to a point, but this is how our group is ran! Unless you are giving the owner (who approves all posts and gets first pick of everything being given away) everything she wants, you will not be allowed to post OR you will be accused of selling everything you get. Others have tried to start new groups to away from this type of group, but they don't last long.

I know, I know.. If I don't like it, then just leave.. I did.. right before I came here and posted... There is no way in heck I would give some of those people anything for free.

I am still venting.. sorry LOL Its just been a bad day all around and this seems like the perfect thing to gripe about and get it all out :cool:

[Willow]

The group I belong to sounds a lot like the one JKATHERINE belongs to. Maybe that's just how we do things in the New England area. There is a moderator but he doesn't do any moderating. lol A lot of people have complained about the amount of wanted threads and the moderator said just delete those messages and move on. He said if he had to approve every message before it was posted to the group then we would only see a few messages each day because he doesn't have time read each message before it's posted. I can only imagine how time consuming that would be.

[queenangie]

Our group posts garage sales/yard sales. These items are NOT free.

It would seem to me an Amber Alert is much more important than advertising for garage sales. Apparently some are more strict than others.

Sorry you got your feelings hurt trying to help.

[tsquared]

Wish no one ever had to worry about losing their child.. but if it does happen i would want the quickest way possible for the word to get to everyone to look for this scared and lost child.

[GitchSup]

WOW, I can not belive how cold and crass some people can be! Good for you to get out of the Freecycle site you were in. I think the Amber Alerts are so important, they are the 1st line of getting information to the public to get a child back. I am guessing that the people in your Freecycle groop are just too self involved to care about anything else but themselves. Too bad they lost such a caring member of their group. Try not to let it get you down, your a good person for posting such an important thing!

Wonder if BBF would consider putting up an Amber Alert ticker on this site? Just a thought.

[mizzy62]

My freecycle group is like that too. I posted asking for someone that had a specific talent, that could maybe help me, and got a nastygram about it. Sheesh, I figured that using talents could be a part of Freecycle too.
I also notice that people ask for things for their daycares, and of course, always something expensive like Little Tykes toys and stuff. I wonder about the validity of that, too.
Oh, and another thing, people are always posting about getting rid of cats, kittens, and other pets. I don't feel that is "in the spirit of Freecycle" either.
I am considering getting out of my group. :mad:

[VALENA-)45]

You did a good thing, posting about a missing child. Don't let the rest of them bother you. If, it had happened to one of their children, they would wish that someone had came up with the same idea. Hugs.

[YankeeMary]

How horrible for you and I know your heart is so good. My freecycle group seems pretty good so far people even giving away coupons, and I guess I didn't follow our rules according to the posts here but we had a stray puppy show up here and I posted Wanted: owner of puppy to claim it..lol..no one sent me a nasty email or posted to the board that I wasn't allowed to do it. It seems to me that the owner of your freecycle group is very selfish and self serving as well as your members, you deserve better then a group like that. Just give your stuff to good will or a shelter. I am like you those on that group would get nothing of mine.
And I agree 100% with Patcholi, if their child was missing you better believe they would post it there and everywhere they could possibly post it. Shame on those that have more regards for rules than for human life.

[sdb_ngc]

I agree I would want to use the quickest outlets possible to alert others of a missing or endangered child.

[CatrinaF25]

"You have no idea how I wish our freecycle site was like yours For the last two days (aside from my posting) the group members have been bashing a lady asking for help.. I mean they are downright MEAN about it!

Heres only part of what the OWNER posted to this poor woman...

I have received a few emails regarding you, today. Some people are
upset because they have helped you by giving you things that you have
asked for (some brand new - and a LOT of items) because of you posting
a need or of a family member need - and now you are going to start
selling your things at the flea market. Some have mentioned that
there are people living with you who are of working age but are not
working. They, and I must admit myself, too, wonder at your motive
for getting things for FREE off of our free cycle site and then posting
that you are going to sell things for extra $$. It seems to not be
looking in your favor right now....

Then she (the owner) goes on to admit that she resells things on Ebay that she gets from the group....

I, myself, sell things on eBay, however, it's not normally something
that came from freecycle. The only times I DO sell something from
this site is if it's something that I have used and no longer want
(and would prefer to try to sell)

PLEASE tell me that this is not as messed up as I think it is??

I can say for a fact that the woman she was speaking to in the group (rather than doing this privately) had said in a previous post that she was selling things from her home at the flea market to get money for groceries... she never said that she sold the things she got from freecycle and in fact listed everything that was given to her and told the people who gave them to her to contact her if they wanted the items back (this was over the fact that the owner accused her of selling the freecycle things)"

undefined yup i belong to that same group and i did see them bash that poor lady! omg and like a week ago they was fighting over who got the big screen tv! lol its pittyful! there was nothing at all wrong with what you posted!!!!! it was a Amber alert! the problem is the Mods dont seem to be HUMAN! if this was THEIR CHILD they would post right away!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IVE seen post about LOST DOGS on that group! BUT a CHILD!? NO way! THEY ARE HEARTLESS IMO. SHAME ON THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

[msmom79]

I Am So Sorry This Happened To You.how Uncaring Of These People!!a Child Is More Important Then Anything You Can Get Free.!!!!!!! Jmop

[CatrinaF25]

just wanted to let you know.. I have offically complained about freecycle oklahoma city and it is being looked in to! never should a pets life be put in front of a childs life and futher more it does not say in the rules you cant have a siggy line.. so why not put the amber alert in your siggy line ;) which is exactly what i asked :-) the okc owners IMO are snotty and very disrespectful its really sad they are ruining this for others!

[Abnutangel]

I'm sorry that they are putting you through this. Chances are that the ones who are being nasty don't have children so they don't know the fear of losing one. All they had to do was delete the alert notice and move on. They email you yelling that you wasted their time but they found the time to complain. That's sad! Good luck finding a new group, and don't let the selfishness get you down.

[mesue]

I printed out posters of Beaner and asked hubby to give them to the men at work to drop off at places where they live, some of them drove an hour so I figured it might make a difference but hubby said none of them would, they all said she was not from here, so why would putting the posters up help, at the time she had been missing for a couple of months so she could have been anywheres but hubby could not get them to understand so he came home with all the posters a little upset with the people he worked with. So i know how frustrated you are, just remember your heart was in the right place, some people's I wonder about.