daughter has job finally!!

[ozzysangel]

Hi all my daughter finally got job and likes it, question is she is making 9 bucks a hour and is still living at home with us(19 years old), does anyone think we should charge her some type of rent? any thoughts? thanks :)

[BigLyd1]

I'm anxious to see what people have to say about this because my SS lives at home with us. He's 19 and works part-time. He says he will enroll in school but hasn't. I wasn't going to charge rent yet but he does absolutely nothing to help out around the house. So we started charging him $100 a month.

[YankeeMary]

Yes...she is over the age of 18 and it makes her an adult. Charge her now or you might be sorry later. There is nothing wrong with charging her.

[janelle]

If she is still helping around the house than I wouldn't but if she just works and goes out than some rent is reasonabe.

She could save up for lots of things if she didn't pay rent and had no expenses but she needs to appreciate your help and help you.

[MamaFairal]

Having her pay rent makes her a responsible adult and i think you should charge her :)

[1tiredmom]

i would have her pay something-(even if you put it away for her like getting her own apartment or something or for something she really needs when she moves on her own-don't tell her you are doing it though - wish i would have done that to ds

[twinfawn]

If nothing else she should help out with groceries....Believe me, don't wait, make her pay you something, teach her some responsibilites.... She has to be taught that it cost money to live!, even if it is just a little each week....

[ocvachick]

well im over age and live at home with my parents... i do most of the house work, my own laundry and mow the grass. they dont make me pay anything. i think some people should charge their kids rent if they are just using the house for food and a place to sleep, but if they are helping out i dont see any need.

[laughsalot]

first off congrats to your daughter on getting a job! I do think that charging her rent would make her more responsible, especially since she isnt helping around the house. But I dont have kids so maybe my opinion isnt worth much!

[janelle]

My SS lived with us for a few years. We didn't charge him any rent but he ate most meals out. He didn't have a job for awhile and just played games on the computer. He mowed the grass and helped some but not much. He came out of the Army 10,000 in debt so we gave him a break. Credit cards kill young people when they are first out on there own.

Luckily he wanted to work. He sold meat out of a car in the got summer for awhile when his bank account got low. Then our neighbor offered him a job working for him in his electrical business. He moved out and lived with a friend and has been working for our neighbor ever since.

You can always negociate with your daughter in the future if it isn't working out.

[justinenycole26]

I agree with 1tiredmom. Charge her a nominal amount, like maybe $100 per month. She can easily pay that out of one check and still have money left over. Then secretly take all the money she pays in rent and deposit it in an account for her. When she moves out, give her that money for moving expenses, new dishes, whatever. It will be a wonderful surprise for her. If she knows ahead of time, it will not work. She will see it as her money and won't be concerned whether she pays it or not.

[justme23]

I say charge her... and if you DON'T need the money, then put it all in a savings acct for her every month so when she decides to move out she'll have start up money w/out having to borrow it from you... or if something happens and she finds herself in desperate need, you won't have to scrounge to find it should you feel the need to help her...

[DivineMsDi]

Is she saving for college and working summers or is this her first "real job?" I would try to give her some time to save a bit, then advise her you would like her to learn responsibility by paying you a weekly sum. I paid my parents something when I lived with them, but I was w/them until I was 26 (it is too expensive here to "get your own place"). My mother used the money for something on me, not sure what, maybe toward my wedding? I don't know. I think paying a bit teaches the young person about bills, and how everyone has his or her hand out in the REAL world. 19 year olds need some sort of responsibility, so I would say, you should work this out (how much you want her to pay).

[belle5691]

My parents charged my brother and I rent. The only difference was, he was making about 2x the amount of money I was, and we got charged the same amount. That caused a lot of problems between us. I think my parents should have charged us a certain percentage--say $15% of our income, that way it was what we could both afford, and the idea of saving the money to help when we did move out would have been a tremendous help.

[ilvscooby]

My parents used to charge rent after we graduated and got jobs, BUT they would take all the money we paid them and put it in a savings acct(without telling us about it). Then when we moved out they gave us the $ to help us get started on our own.

[YankeeMary]

Belle I can see where youare coming fromin a way but the whole idea of paying rent is to teach responsibility. Out in the real world your landlord isn't going to say, "You make X amount of money so you only have to pay X% rent this month". I really think this is societys biggest problem is that we just hand everything to our children. (Notice I said we, as a whole) I feel strongly that the parent should charge what THEY see fit, and if the 19 year old can't afford it well then do what the rest of us do, get a 2nd job, unless they are in college. Doing things around the house should not count towards rent, that ridiculous, especially since you (not meaning anyone inparticular) live there, its your grass also, so mow it, they are your dishes, so wash them, its your laundry, wash it, if you lived in the real world, mommy and daddy wouldn't come to your house and do all those things for you. I know I sound harsh about this, but it is because I see first hand what happens when you expect nothing out of your kids.

[Tasha405]

Someone had posted a thread a while ago in v/w and someone had said that they took half of their childs paycheck and put it into a savings account for them either for school or for a place to live (money for rent, utilities and so on) or something like that. I personally thought it was a great idea. I mean, if they are working and not paying a thing out of pocket and just using their money for whatever they want then I see no problem with it at all. I talked to my DH and that's what we said we will do too. We set up "bills" for our kids (once they start working) to pay and instead of putting the money on the bills we will actually put it into a savings account so that they can have money for college or a place to live when they decide to move out.

[Army-Mom]

My son is 19 and makes 12 an hour..he does his own laundry and gives us $30.00 a week for groceries...He eats alot..He cant live any where else for $30 a week...he also helps his daddy mow the grass. I think when a child turns 18 they should learn that they have to learn to pay their own way..
Marcia

[DBackFan]

I ended up with 2 of my sons back home at the same time, one is 19 and the other is 21. The 19 yr old didnt stay long but the 21 yr old has been here for 2 months. He helps a lot around here and buys all his own groceries since we low carb so we do not charge him.

[HumblePie98]

I can't believe some people would charge thier own kids rent because they need the money. LMAO!! But, if your kids cannot afford to pay you rent they better get out and get a second job.

One would assume that if you expect to make your kids work 2 jobs to pay you rent, you would also work two jobs. (And no I really don't care if you flame for saying it.)

I would never charge my son rent. I didn't pay rent when I lived at home and had a job. And nothing was handed to me. I worked and saved to buy my own car. I paid my own car insurance. If I wanted to go out I had to pay for it myself. When I was 19 and moved out on my own, I knew how to handle bills, even though my mom and dad never charged me rent.

[JANBAB]

bOTH OF OUR BOYS STILL LIVE AT HOME. ONE IS 23 AND IS A NEW MANAGER AT PIZZA HUT AND THE OTHER ONE IS 22 AND HAS A FACTORY JOB. THEY BOTH PAY $150 A MONTH. i TOLD THEM THEY COULD STAY AT HOME BUT HAVE TO PAY RENT. I AM HOPING THAT THEY SAVE MONEY TO BUY A HOUSE AND NOT RENT FOR 20 YEARS LIKE I DID! THEIR RENT HELPS WITH THE FOOD THEY EAT AND THE EXTRA ON THE UTILITIES AND IT GIVES THEM RESPONSIBILITY. IF I DIDN'T MAKE THEM PAY SOMETHING THE OLDEST WOULD PROBABLY BE STILL QUITTING JOBS LEFT AND RIGHT LIKE HE USED TO.!

[Lora_1994]

I lived at home until I was 19 almost 20. My parents never charged me rent, BUT I worked from the time I was 16, and babysitting wayy before that. With the money I made, from 16 on, I used for myself. In the means of buying clothes,gas money, insurance on my vehicle,repairs for me vehicles etc. I also helped around the house and helped buy groceries.

I would say that if he helps out at home along with working and the money he makes he spends it on things he NEEDS, I dont think I'd charge. You have to look at it this way, if he's buying his own clothes, gas,car repairs,etc, that is money that doesnt have to come out of your pocket. Thats just my opinion and I'm still "young" so to speak so I dont know if that counts for much..lol

[YankeeMary]

[QUOTE=RescueAPit]I can't believe some people would charge thier own kids rent because they need the money. LMAO!! But, if your kids cannot afford to pay you rent they better get out and get a second job.

One would assume that if you expect to make your kids work 2 jobs to pay you rent, you would also work two jobs. (And no I really don't care if you flame for saying it.)

I would never charge my son rent. I didn't pay rent when I lived at home and had a job. And nothing was handed to me. I worked and saved to buy my own car. I paid my own car insurance. If I wanted to go out I had to pay for it myself. When I was 19 and moved out on my own, I knew how to handle bills, even though my mom and dad never charged me rent.[/QUOTE


Well your assumption is right on today, when I couldn't afford my rent yes I DID work 2 jobs and didn't apply for any kind of help, I was a single mom with 2 kids and I worked all I had to so they could have a place to live. At that time my sons were like 3 and 5, eventually I made it and didn't have to work like that.

If someone can't afford rent why would the continue to allow a 19 year old to live for free? Doesn't make any sense. And yes if you can't afford rent, then a 2nd job is required in the real world or then again there is always welfare if you'd like that way of living. Regardless if the parents need money or not, you are not doing your children any favors by not expecting anything from them.
And just so you know, We don't need rent money (we OWN both our houses) from our kids and a good thing to because our 23 yr older(my step daughter wouldn't have any $$$ to pay with. She was never taught responsibilty.

I must clarify for those who will be insulted by my welfare comments, I have no problem with people needing help, it was a program set up to help those in NEED, not those that are to lazy to work to support themselves. I know for a fact it wasn't set up to help families with adult children living at home for free.
If you need assistance and qualify for it then by all means sign up for it.

[1tiredmom]

well i screwed up big time with my son-i guessed i was dreaming or living in a fantasy world that when he made 18 on 8/27/2000, at 249pm he would automatically think he would awaken and be a grown-up and would have a go get em thing-one mistake was giving in to him & getting something more expensive than what i originally what i was to buy him-i should have told him (& i have learned and do a heck of lot of things different with his sister)this is what i agree to pay;if you want the other thing you need to come up with the difference--he is now learning (& so am i )to do things on his own & i am learning to say no-from birth to the the age 18 i HAD to tend to your needs ,now that you are 22 1/2 i don't have to get you anything if i don't want, it's because i want to-i still have a long way to go but will get there in fact
dd wanted to go get her hair trimmed b4 school started-& asked if i would pay for it-told her super cuts or fantastic sams (where i go when i have the money)& get a cut for $10.00- iwould pay for it -she refused wanted to go where she gets her hair highlighted (she pays for that-figured if god had wanted to her to have different colors in her hair-he would have provided the colors)her haircut cost $30.00 and she thought i would cave in-she almost died when i handed her the ten dollars-she asked for a few dollars to tip him & i told her he's not doing a darn thing for me-so i suggest whatever money you have in your back pocket-just in case-this is the just in case time you are going to need it--told me i wan't being fair-told her very calmly yeah i know, it's a bummer and guess what it only get's worse as you get older& went on doing my crossword puzzle
oh yeah forgot -told she should be thanking me cause i could be charging her gas & time money0so better kissme & go while you're ahead ;) ;)

i had to add this because of my first reply-i found that it was what i should've done w/my son