Last Comic Standing 8/5 9:00 4400-4800+ pts.

[mficke0713]

What did Gary say about the post office?
*"Way to invent the sticker!"

Why did Kathleen say was the reason Southerners lost the Civil War?
*Talked too slowly

What did Alonzo say about gymnastics?
*"If you bounce when you land, you lost."

What did Tammy say was her reaction when told she'd be entertaining troops in Baghdad?
*Asked if there were any troops in Maui

What did John say about a recent job application?
*Wondered if third-grade teacher would be called

What did Kathleen say about Diana Ross getting a DUI?
*Could afford to hire Clydesdales to pick her up

What did Kathleen say about the desert?
*Might look beautiful once it was finished

What did Jay Mohr say about the elimination round?
*Compared it to episode of "The Brady Bunch"

What did Jay say about the metric system?
*Knew the difference between gram and kilo

What did Kathleen say about her future?
*Would try to live rest of her life in reality shows

What did John say he did with the dish towel his mother gave him?
*Used it as cape

What did Jay say for his introductory line?
*"I've got mad down to a science."

[littlel]

Thanks mficke0713! :)


In a commercial during this show, what was sprayed with juice from wedges of lemon and described as a way to "eat healthy" and "treat yourself"?
Restaurant entrées low in fat and carbohydrates
Red Lobster
Seafood "you crave"

In a commercial during this show, what did a blonde woman say she liked "experimenting" with?
*Hair color
*Pantene Pro-V Color Revivial
*Keeps hair shiny,etc.

[jatan]

In a commercial during this show, what did a man and a woman do after browsing through a store and laying new flooring in their home?
*Hosted dinner party
*Lowe's
*Can be installed in one day

In a commercial during this show, what did an elderly woman do when a Girl Scout came to her door?
Show her dirt on mop
Swiffer Dry Cloth
Picks up more dirt than ever

In a commercial during this show, what did two men do after driving in an SUV and listening to a rock version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"?
*Kayaked in river bordering baseball stadium
*Nissan Murano
*Fit for adventure

In a commercial during this show, what did a woman do in a ladies' room while a man waited for her?
Tested cell phone reception
Verizon Wireless
The most reliable wireless network in America

In a public service announcement during this show, what did a woman at a business meeting have difficulty doing?
Concentrating
AdultADD.com
Take diagnostic test

[daisy]

What was the title of a new TV show, advertised during this program, that featured cops tracking criminals in an exotic environment?
*"Hawaii"
*Wednesdays

In a commercial during this show, where did a man and woman dance while listening to music through headphones?
*Record shop
*Imodium A-D
*Effective results after just one dose

In a commercial during this show, what did a girl with braided hair do while lying on a beach?
*Ate ice cream
*Nestlé Drumstick
*Keeps them from growing up too fast

In a commercial during this show, what happened after a crew of body shop mechanics did a makeover of an old beat up wreck of a car?
*The owner freaked out with happiness when she saw her new car
*Toyota Corolla
*Has so many attractive features "you won't even recognize it"

[exferryguy]

In a commercial during this show, what did a man and woman in business attire do at at a baggage carousel?
Picked up office equipment
FedEx Kinko's
Copy, print, and ship all in once place

What was the title of a new TV show, advertised during this program, about a family of cartoon animals living in Las Vegas?
"Father of the Pride"
Tuesdays

In a commercial during this show, what did people do in their dressing rooms and in front of a camera crew as catchphrases appeared in white text?
Modeled clothing
KMart
Is hip and stylish

[chicodog]

Thanks !!

In a commercial during this show, what did a young man with blue bars over his head apologize to his father about while at the breakfast table?
Staying out late and not calling
AT&T Wireless
Add extra lines for $9.99

In a commercial during this show, what did a blonde woman say she liked "experimenting" with?
Hair color
Pantene Pro-V Color Revivial
Keeps hair silky, shiny, and strong

[mficke0713]

In a commercial during this show, what did a political candidate with salt-and-pepper hair mention after discussing political conventions on a tour bus?
*Saving money each month
*NetZero
*Costs only $9.95 per month or upgrade service for $5 more