Child support woes

[suzski]

I spent last night furious, mad, hurt, you name it. See, my ex is supposed to pay me $300 a month for child support...actually he is supposed to pay me over $700 a month, but I felt bad for him, so I only make him pay me $300 (for 2 kids). Anyway, he got behind, and I was understanding, and he is now working on paying the arrears. He was supposed to pay me on Sunday, but didn't....said he "forgot". I called him and asked for the money, and I got a check yesterday, less $60. Apparently, when my son was staying at his house for the summer he used the ex's credit card-with his permission- but charged an extra $60. Now, for some reason, I'm being held responsible. First off, I don't give my son my credit card to make purchases. If he needs something, I make the purchase personally. Second, I'm already cutting my ex a HUGE break, and I work really hard to ensure that we have an amicable relationship so that the children don't suffer. I feel like I'm being used and abused and I sent him an email today that told him that, and the fact that even though he might think I'm a "money grubber", he actually has it better than anyone required to pay support. I mean, my daughter's daycare is more than $300 a month. And I WOULD like to be able to send the kids to college one day...I am so frustrated! Why is it when you help some people out they take it for weakness and abuse it?! :mad:

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Kelsey1224]

I have a friend who always says, "No good deed goes unpunished." And it sounds like this is the case for you.

Time to get some backbone. The courts ordered child support which was considered to be fair. You didn't pick the amount you were suppose to get...the court did.

I would let ex know that you are going to start expecting the full $700 each month from now on.

Unfortunately, when there is a divorce involved, children suffer. We would like to protect our kids...but regardless of what we do...they suffer anyway. I was the product of divorced parents and my daughter was as well. (Luckily I've been married for 26 years to my 2nd husband and our son won't see his parents divorce.)

It appears that regardless of what you do...your ex will resent the support he has to pay and he will do whatever he can to give you as little as he can. You might as well go for the 'big bucks'...LOL.

[lassss]

Is this a voluntary child support pay or is it court ordered?? My ex and I tried the voluntary thing until he met some broad who brainwashed him into not paying...so now it is court ordered and I get the money direct deposited every month... run don't walk to the domestic relation's office and get it court ordered.

[iluvmybaby]

:rolleyes: I wish we could get the message out to men, if you dont want the responsability of having a child keep the horse in the barn, or at least put a halter on him if you know what I mean and that is the nicest way I can phrase it without being outright rude. I would make his arse pay that $700 direct deposit, he was man enough to father the kids now make him be man enough to pony up the dough to support them

[suzski]

lasss, it is court-ordered. I just wanted out of the marriage so bad, and I knew that I was making more money than him, so I told him that the $300 would be fine...provided he paid. It's been almost 4 years, and until now I haven't had a problem. I just refuse to be taken advantage of, and I think he believes that since my husband and I live in a nice house and have nice things, then we don't NEED the money. However, I am the coupon/freebate queen extraordinaire, and only because I shop "smart" do we have what we do. And as you say, iluvmybaby, he made them, so it really shouldn't matter WHAT my income is.

[iluvmybaby]

Thats right hun I mean factor in the cost of two preteen kids ((FOOD, clothing, school supplies, money for their various activitys)) plus comes cars, car insurance, more clothing costs, and then college. That is a LOT of money when you add it all up in the end. It doesnt matter if you and your hubby work hard and make good money, he is still responsible


BTW if he doesnt pay his child support go to court, get a warrent on his butt, have him arrested. If he doesnt pay they will revoke his license. Make him hurt where it counts, his wallet!

[mlayton1994]

I think he has a great deal. MY ex SIL takes 1000 mth from my brother and he makes about 36,000 yr now (he got laid off from a 70,000 yr job ) so he is thinking about going to get his child support reduced. Note that she makes about 100,000 yr as a CVS pharmacist in atlanta. He buys clothes, etcc. .. for his kids on top of giving her child support money. From the way she sends the kids to him sometimes I wonder where the money is going. Plus me and my dh buy them things as well.

sorry to have vented in your thread. But, I dont think what he did to you was fair and he is getting off cheap.

[suzski]

No problem, mlayton. The money-grubbing ex is exactly what I don't want to be...in my job I've seen alot of ugly battles where the children become dollar signs instead of kids, so I committed early on to taking only what I need. It actually has my DH mad because I made this deal and he thinks I don't get enough. But, I told him this was a promise I made to the ex, and I'll hold to it as long as he keeps up his end.

[schsa]

Time to tell him that you will take him to court if he doesn't pay up and if he refuses, you will have the courts not only go back to the original agreement but you will be asking for more money due to the cost of living.

And that his child support will be paid through the courts so he will have no choice. Time he paid his fair share.

[MamaFairal]

And I WOULD like to be able to send the kids to college one day!


What is this word "COLLEGE"...........lol
man if had my child support that i was owed my kids would be doctors by now!

[mlayton1994]

keep us posted. Let us know how it goes.

[Alessandra]

Time to tell him that you will take him to court if he doesn't pay up and if he refuses, you will have the courts not only go back to the original agreement but you will be asking for more money due to the cost of living.

And that his child support will be paid through the courts so he will have no choice. Time he paid his fair share.


I'd be careful about threatening to take him back to court. If his circumstances have changed at all he may be able to get the support reduced. As for the extra $60 your son spent I'd see if anything he bought can be returned for a refund. Would teach the kid a valuable lesson.

[Willow]

This is an email I just got in regards to child support. I haven't received child support since November of last year but they seem to want to be very accomodating to my ex. :rolleyes:


The enforcement unit is in the process of sending him a letter indicating he has thirty days to remit payments or his license will be suspended. If he does not send in any payments within thirty days he will receive a final 10 day notice. If no payments are received within the 10 days, we notify the registry to suspend his license. If no payments are received when his license is suspended, the case can be referred for a contempt hearing to be scheduled.
Thank You,
Carmina 53364

[suzski]

I'd be careful about threatening to take him back to court. If his circumstances have changed at all he may be able to get the support reduced. As for the extra $60 your son spent I'd see if anything he bought can be returned for a refund. Would teach the kid a valuable lesson.

Alessandra, I am completely with you on teaching my son a lesson...unfortunately, it was online gaming that he spent the money on so, unless the gamers decide to cut my ex a break, he's out the money. I did suggest that the next time he is over for visitation (he goes every 2 weeks since we live about 30 minutes apart) that he put my son to work (i.e. lawn mowing, lawn mowing for neighbors, painting, etc...) I told the ex that the $60 better be in my pocket by the next time he's due to pay. As for the child support being reduced, yes, it could be, but not even near to what he is paying now. He is retired military, working a full time job. I'm military too, just a few paygrades above where he retired at, so I know that there is no way the court will award less than $450 or so, and that would still be more than I am giving him the deal for now.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he understands that I am just like any other bill, be it electricity or the mortgage....you pay me, then play with what's left over.
Thanks all for your kind advice and thoughts. I'll keep you posted. :)