Babysitting vent, may be long!

[iluvmybaby]

:confused: I am in a venting mood right now but also a little, ok a lot, hurt. I got a babysitting job through a friend of the families ((oh yeah big mistake)) I was to watch him from 8:30 AM to 12 PM while his mother works PT, she agreed to pay me "a little" That is fine for a couple of hours a day for a week or two until they boy goes back to school was alright, now she is dropping him off at 7AM and not picking him up to about 4:30-5:00 PM because she is a family friend. I bought $30 worth of groceries for the house and they are gone, I am wondering how much "a little" is and when she intends to pay me. I feel taken advantage of because I am expected to watch this child 50+ hours a week for nothing, on top of trying to find a job and take care of my little bro while my mom is at work and help out shopping/cleaning etc. The boys are already snapping and arguing with each other and this is day two, his mom invited him to spend the night and told him it was OK before consolting us telling me in a note, ((btw she didnt even spell my name right J-E-N-N-I-F-E-R, say it with me now)) I am trying to get ahead by earning extra money here and there, odd jobs you can say, and this is really crimping my schedule. On top of that I have a Dr's appt Monday at 2:30 PM that I can not cancel no ifs ands or butts and she is saying she cant pick him up until 5-ish. Am I supposed to feed him breakfest, lunch, and dinner on a little? This is cutting into my families groceries and if she doesnt pay me I do not have the cash to replace them, meanwhile I cant go out and looking for work when I have him from 7-5.
I dont know what to say except UGGGGGGHHHH I am so tired of being nice and trying to help out and then end up getting screwed, which it seems like I am until the 12th when both my lil bro and my charge go back to school, it cant get here fast enough!!!!!!!!!!

[msmom79]

tell mom she needs to furnish her sons meals because you did not include them in your pay.be honest with her .if she doesnt like the deal you both made then she can find someone else to care for her child.jmo best of luck to you ann

[PreciousDarlin]

I know the feeling.....I started watching 3 children out of my home when my son was a few months old. I agreed to feed them 1 meal a day and provide one snack. They were to be dropped off at 7:30 am and picked up by 6pm unless otherwise discussed. It got to where she was dropping the kids off before 7am and not picking them up some nights until midnight. I couldn't let the kids go that long without feeding them, so I spent my family's grocery money to feed them too. They fought constantly, argued, listened to nothing at all I said. I had a biopsy done, told her two weeks in advance that I couldn't watch them that day. When I got home from the doctor, she called me, said she had been trying all morning to reach me, needed me to come pick up one of her kids cause she couldn't find anyone else to watch them. Of course, I couldn't say no, so I did it, even though I was in lots of pain. Finally, I got fed up with it and told her it wasn't working out and I couldn't watch them anymore. She started lying about me, saying I chased her kids around my house with a knife and refused to pay me. So, in the end, I was out time, money, and sanity.

I would just tell her outright that the arrangments she is making on her own is not what you had agreed to and she is going to have to accept your hours, or find someone else. I would also tell her that you expect reimbursment for the groceries and/or you expect X amount of money for your services. Write her up a bill and itemize the time, etc, that you have spent. Stand your ground and if she doens't like your decision, she can find a new sitter. Good luck with it!

(PS. Sorry for taking over your vent with my own story.)

[Freebeemom]

You need to set some boundaries.Tell her that she needs to furninsh all meals, diapers etc....I know that it is hard, but you need to stand up for your self. If the boys are seriously not getting along, then cancel the job. It is not worth your sanity. I used to do this, and It just was too difficult with my own kids being here. They began to resent the kids that were dropped of, and started acting out. It wasn't worth the money at all. Now, I just sell things on ebay!

[turbob]

I feel for you who watch kids to make money - got to be one of the HARDEST jobs in the world. Can I suggest a contract? someone here surely has a contract they use when they do this? then you would have a graceful way to quit watching their kids when they mess up.

[freeplease]

When she picks the kids up tonight, have your guns in a row. Tell her what times she can leave the kids. What food she is expected to bring for them. I see nothing wrong with her having to pack each child a lunch. And please discuss the money! At the end of this nightmare, she may decide that Ten dollars a week is plenty! And won't that be awful. :mad:
Write it all down so you don't forget anything. I know when the conversation gets rolling, you may get angry or embarrassed, and forget what you wanted to say. This woman is taking advantage of you, and it isn't right. Does she know what it would cost to take them to a daycare center? Call around and ask. She'll be amazed at her savings with you.

[DivineMsDi]

Jennifer--
My sister (also a Jennifer) had the same problem with a neighbor. She was watching 2 of her kids after school and the kids ate her out of house and home, and caused a lot of stress w/her older son. (he was clearly jealous). If this person is a family friend, lay it on the line NOW. Say, I am sorry but we have to conduct this like a business arrangement or you have to find someone else to watch little so and so.

Explain what you expect to be paid and when. Tell her this before your resentment ends the friendship. If she is a REAL friend, she will respect your need for steady hours and pay. Otherwise, she is using you.

Paying for daycare or camp costs $$$, so should babysitting, especially when the family friend is more likely to watch your child more closely and interact with him.

There are no free rides in life if we just say no.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

You just need to be upfront with "mom" and ask her what "a little" is.Then ask her about food for her son.If you can't ask those two questions because you're too nice,then be prepared to watch him ALL the time for FREE and to FEED him as well.

[joey74]

You just need to be upfront with "mom" and ask her what "a little" is.Then ask her about food for her son.If you can't ask those two questions because you're too nice,then be prepared to watch him ALL the time for FREE and to FEED him as well.


I agree! People like this can sense when someone is vulnerable and they can be taken advantage of.
You are already upset..and if you don't speak up things will only get worse... I really really understand how hard it is to say something........But deep down don't you already know you are going to end up getting screwed in the end?

I hope it all works out and you find the courage to say something.

oh yeah, I think if I were in your postion I would ask for payment upfront - and then any hours behond that to be paid at the end of the week.

[Tasha405]

This is exactly why I don't do babysitting anymore. I used to babysit for a family member and got done dirty. She paid me $1.00 an hour and thats when she decided to pay me at all. She would bring the kid over (we lived next to each other) in nothing but a diaper and a blanket wrapped around him. She never brought clothes, diapers, wipes, snacks or anything. She would also lock her door so tha I couldn't go get him anything but I finally had the landlord start unlocking the door for me every morning. I had to feed this child breakfast, lunch, supper and all snacks plus he was still drinking a bottle (he was only 1). The thing that really put a stop to it for me was when I found out she wasn't working all of times I was watching him. She was out going to the pool, movies, bars and everything else with her friends and also cheating on her hubby who was a close friend to us. That's when I put my foot down and stopped watching him. We are still good friends but I will never babysit for her like that again.

Oh gosh, sorry I vented in your vent. :o It just still makes me mad when I think about it. lol

I would just confront the mom to find out everything you need to know. "A little" bit of pay is hard to take care of kids on when you have to provide everything. I hope you can get something worked out! {{{Hugs}}}

[MamaFairal]

Say Something Now!!!!

[JKATHERINE]

Jennifer, I have a home daycare. I also developed a contract that I use between the parents and myself. I think it covers all of the problems you're having. I'd be more than willing to email it to you so you can change and use it for yourself. Just let me know. :)

Jamie

[iluvmybaby]

JKATHERINE, I would really appreciate if you sent me that contract.My email addy is [email protected] I am going to call her at 1 PM this afternoon and ask about payment, I am tire of beating around the bush and I just feel so hurt and angry to be taken advantage of. I love kids please dont get me wrong but I cant afford to watch him and not get paid a thing, then have to reimbuse my mom for groceries ((which is clearily fair as it is NOT her child)) His mom is by NO means poor, she owns her own bussiness, drives a new car, lives in a nice house. He came over this morning starving, she hadnt fed him breakfest, he ate FOUR sandwhiches, I cant stand for someone to go hungry he is just a skinny as a rail and as tall as one, in that awkward age. My brother is fed up, they are at each others throats, but my mom does bussiness with this women so it has to be handled very delecately. Before I agree to watch anyone again I am using JKATHERINES contact. I am extremly qualified to babysit, I have been doing it since I was 14, adult, infant, and child CPR certified as well as trained in basic first aid. I hope things work out with this lady so I can use her as a refrence, in a small town her name means a lot because she is a prominet bussiness owner

Thanks for all your advice I appreciate it, really love you all!

[Gumball1960]

Please keep us updated as to what she says.

[schsa]

If she is that well off then she can pay the going rate for baby care. And on top of that, if she protests, tell her you cannot take her child any more because as she well knows, time is money.

Don't put up with absentee parents. If she is so careless that she would leave the child without feeding him, then let her take him back and do the right thing by her child. I don't blame you for going after her. She has taken advantage of you and you are letting her get away with it.

And if she even attempts to bad mouth you you can be sure to tell people that she sent her child to you without breakfast and rather than picking him up at noon as agreed she would leave him until 6. She can say what she wants but you know the truth. And people will believe you because she has probably pulled this before with someone else.

[mlayton1994]

Ppl like this makes me mad. Grrrr . Please keep us posted on what happens and good luck.

[suzski]

Katherine, best of luck to you. I know that it is a tough situation, but try not to get your emotions involved. It sounds like you want to do what is the "nice" thing to do, but I'm learning quickly that people often take "nice" for "weak". The longer you let the problem go, the worse it will be, so I'm glad that you're taking the proverbial bull by the horns now. Please let us know how it turns out..

[JKATHERINE]

Jennifer, The contract and enrollment form have been sent. I really hope they help! :)

[tammy77]

I was in the same situtation as you.I watched a child of a family friend who was like a second brother to me.I was watching his son over 8 hours a day plus washing thier clothes and thier dishes(I am such a nice person I said I would do it because they worked alot).Well it got to the point that I would come in every morning and there would be a sink full of dishes(they had a dishwasher but I guess they were to lazy to put the dishes in it)I use to hate coming back after the weekend.For all the work I did I only got $120 a week and that was if I worked saturdays to.Finally I had enough and I quit without notice.I know they were mad because it was in the morning and had to hurry and find a new sitter.