I don't get it....

[PreciousDarlin]

*Disclaimer: There is no need to read, or respond to this thread. I just need get something off my chest and couldn't think of a better place to do so.*

I've heard before that everyone is put on this earth for a reason. But I can't seem to figure out what my purpose is. I'm no one special. I'm just an overweight, uninteresting nobody who works at a dead end job to try to make ends meet for my husband and kids. And I obviously fail miserably because I can't seem to make anyone happy. Maybe I was just put here as a means to an end -- a stepping stone in someone else's journey to self worth. Maybe one of my children, or my grand-children will make a difference. And I had to be here just so the right person would be born.
But that doesn't really make sense. Gob could have altered the journy just a little and still have made things work. Or maybe it could be my little brother destined for greatness. I served as the monkey wrench that Gob threw in the works. I popped up at an inopprotune time, but prevented my parents from seperating, allowing my brother to come along.
Either way, I've served my purpose in life. I've paved the way for the conception of my brother and I've bore children of my own. I can't imagine what future purpose I could have, other than making everyone miserable. I'm not good at anything, but everything seems to be my fault. I'm a terrible housekeeper, a horrible wife (though I do love him, despite what he thinks) and a lacking mother (thought I do love them too, despite what they seem to think).
So why am I still around? And what am I supposed to do about it?? No need to respond, but thanks if you have read this far. I know I'm pretty pathetic, so please, no flaming.

[ahippiechic]

You are SOMEONE to somebody, somewhere. You just might not realize it.

[vicky122]

I hope you can start feeling better about youself. Don't be so hard on yourself. Try and make yourself happy and then other things will fall in place.

[tsquared]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the reason you are here is to be the beautiful, caring, fun loving person you are!! When times seem tough is when you find out who your real friends are and when a person starts feeling sorry for themselves is when you need the friends the most! We cant all have that wonderful job that is making us millions and making us famous.......but little do we know we may be making someones world and we just dont know it. The little kid standing back watching or the adult standing back watching quietly wondering how a person does it. Sometimes things are not as obvious as we would want them to be. You may never know what kind of a difference you have made in someones life for years to come........Just being a friend is worth a million!!!!!!!!!!! And just having that SMILE at the right time is worth more than money can ever buy at times...........

[YankeeMary]

Hey Baby God doesn't make mistakes!!! Maybe your reason is just to be YOU. No one else. We all have bad days and feel like you do, this too shall pass. Just hang on and be true to God and I promise you will feel better. You will be in my prayers.

[andreame70]

Ohhh Precious, come on now....you know that God would not have put you here on this earth if he did not have some kind of plan in the works for you. You may not know what that plan is, but guess what? I don't know what his plan for me is either. I would wager to say that no one really knows what his plan is for them.

What you don't realize is that in just reading your post, I can already tell a little bit about Gods plan for you. It involves being a mother to your children (he wouldn't have given them to you if he didn't think you would do your best at raising them.) Gods plan also involves you being a wife to your husband and God has provided you with a job (even though you feel it is a dead end one.) God has also provided you with a home, and although you feel it could be cleaner...you have a place to live. So far, I see several things that you should be thankful for, and I am sure there are many more.

I have learned through my own experiences that the old saying "You can't make others happy if you are not happy yourself" is definitely true.
Take some time, get you a notebook and a pen and write down the things in your life that you feel are wrong. Take one of them at a time and work on making that one thing better. Once you are able to see some improvement in one of those things, then move on to another and work on it for a while. After some time, things will start to feel better and you will boost your self esteem with each goal that you accomplish.

I think that the drudgery of daily life has sunk you into a little bit of a depression and you just need to get things in order, so that you will feel better about everything. When you feel better about yourself, everyone sees that and things tend to fall in place.

Try to fight off the negative and strive to do the best that you can with what you have, you can always make little improvements here and there. You will come out of this slump if you work on it and allow yourself to. I have been there myself and I know you can do it.

Take a few minutes and think about what you have going in your life, beautiful children, a husband, a home, a job. You have a lot going for you already, don't ever forget that.

Good luck.

Andrea

[YankeeMary]

Big hugs to you......

Forgive me.... maybe I've had a little too much of Kids TV.....

But in my best BARNEY the dinosaur voice..... here goes.....

You are special, you're the only one... You're the only one like you!!
There isn't another in the whole wide world, that could do the things you do!
You are SPECIAL! SPECIAL! Everyone is SPECIAL!
Everyone is special..... everyone in his or her own way......

You're IMPORTANT, you really are..... You're the only one like you!!
The world is better just because you're here....
Don't you know that we love you??!!

Cause you are SPECIAL....... SPECIAL..... everyone is special.....
Everyone in his or her own way..... You are SPECIAL......SPECIAL.....
Everyone is SPECIAL.... everyone in his or her own way....

:D

More Hugs....


Go Barney Go Barney Go Tina Go Tina

I couldn't have found a better way to express what that song expressed.

[DivineMsDi]

Although this is going to sound **goofy** go out and rent or buy IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. The central message in that film is that everyone matters. Maybe you won't write the great American novel (my dream) or win the lottery, but I am sure even your simple life has touched many people. Think of your dh and your babies. I am sure you mean as much to them as anyone in the world.

Your post reflects the reason we have to be happy for the little things in life. Even though we all think of success in terms of money or fame, only a very small population of the world (despite "ET" and "People Mag") have these things.

Good luck.

[queenangie]

Oh, sweetie! Your friends here are singing you songs - both Tina and Mary's singing harmony.
Others are telling you how special you are to us here on BBS.
If we were nextdoor neighbors, we'd bring over a coffee cake & drink some coffee with you this morning & give you a great big hug too!

Make a list of everything + in your life right now - your health, able to be online w/ friends, able to type, access to computer......

My grandmother's story was when you are down, start cleaning the house top to bottom. Physical activity helps a lot of people.

Do you need to have a visit to your doctor? That might help.

Keeping you in our prayers.
Angie

[Vanilla]

I was touched by your post Precious. YOU are here for a reason! Ask G** or your Higher Power to reveal that reason to you. Then open your eyes, ears and heart and all will be revealed.

[schsa]

Just because you don't see it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened. You could have spoken to someone in the grocery store and changed their life or you could help someone in some minor way and change the way they view the world.

Your purpose may not appear until you are 90 years old. Or it may have already happened but you didn't realize it. You may be a link to someone who because of something you did, did something for someone else that changed their life.

Everyone has a purpose. Just because there isn't a sign that says this is your destiny doesn't mean that the world is not unfolding as it should.

[PreciousDarlin]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I feel better today. Somedays, I get really down and the other day, I was torn between my parents and my husband. That's a long story that I really don't like going in to. But I'm stuck in the middle of it, along with the kids, and I'm getting really fed up of being torn. But I can't make either side understand it, so I'll just shut up about it. Anyways, thanks again for all the support. :)

[Blackberry]

I don't mean to sould like medication is the cure for everything, but maybe seeing a doctor about your depression would be a big help. I have my moments when I feel exactly like you; I'm fat, I'm a terrible housekeeper, my kids drive me nuts sometimes and I always seem to be in the wrong as far as dh is concerned. I have been under a doctors care for about 5 years now. I take medication and it has helped so much. I am still fat, but I recognize that I am pretty. I'm a terrible housekeeper but I try to tackle one project a day and keep the dishes clean. My kids drive me nuts sometimes but they are my boys and I love them more than anything. My husband always thinks I'm in the wrong. Being on the medication helps me to not get hysterical when we fight, I can let it slide off of my back more easily. I no longer sink down into a deep depression and think I'm stupid because I brought home the wrong kind of deodorant for him.

Definately see a doctor, even just having someone to listen to you can help alot. Feel free to pm me or email me at my13ducks@mail2iceland.com if you'd like. I'm a good listener :)

[joey74]

I have sounded EXACALLY like you on more than one occasion. A stay at home mother who didn't finish college/ not the best housekeeper/ and gets so depressed that no one wants to be around me....
Like you I don't know why I'm here. I can't imagin that living this mundain/nothing special life is what I was "meant to do". The only thing I do know is that my little girls needs me - Just like your kids need you. What greater purpose could a person have on this earth than to love and nurture another person. That in it self is such a huge accomplishment!
Stop looking for some great purpose and just trust in God. So many people would trade places with you - you have a home, husband, beautiful children- these are things to be greatful for.
Best wishes and I hope you start to feel better soon....

[wubbywa]

What about if you got out and did some volunteer work. Like at a nursing home. The elderly people love to have someone to talk with or play cards etc. Its something you could do as often as you wanted or you have little ones what about helping in the classroom if that is possible. You are someone, I have felt the same way before but the only one that can make the change is you. Yes it is hard but start small and build.