Did I do the right thing?

[justinenycole26]

I am sooo happy my Dad is going to be here for my wedding, but I'm worried as hell about something else.

My finace's mom and I have never gotten along. She has been pure evil to me from day 1, but she's one of those people that's sickening sweet to your face then trashes you behind your back. She has, among other things, reported me for child abuse and neglect. This is NOT something I can forgive or forget. You can do whatever you want to me, but when you involve my kids, game over! We lived about a mile away from her when we lived in Missouri and she did not call or come by for 6 months before we moved. When we decided to move, my fiancee' tried to call her to tell her. He left messages on her answering machine, left messages with 2 people that she talked to every day, went by her house, etc. She never called. He really wanted ot see her before we left since we were moving 1400 miles away. Well of course my fiancee' has blinders on when it comes to his mom, so he sees none of this. I can tell he is hurt but he is not the type to hold a grudge. His mom can do no wrong in his eyes.

Anyway, his sister is coming down for the wedding. I really want this to feel like it is his wedding too, so I asked him if he wanted to invite his mom. His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He called her right away and she said she will be here. I know he will be happy to have her here, especially since he has not seen her in 3 1/2 years. But I am really afraid this woman is going to try to ruin my wedding. I would not put anything past her. I will be too busy to even worry about anything she says to me and I am going to keep the girls with me all day the day of the wedding so they are away from her as much as possible. I just don't trust her. Period. The only reason I invited her is because I know how much it means to my fiancee for her to be here. Would you have invited her?

Please pray that this woman has some decorum for the first time in her life and does not do or say anything stupid!

[nosamiam]

Just remember you didn't invite her your fiance did. You will be busy that day and just make a point to not be around her. There will be plenty of people there to distract her. Good luck and I think you did a good thing. This makes your hubby very happy and it's all about give and take.

[tarbabie]

Yes, you did do the right thing! that means alot to the future hubby to have his mom there- think of the REALLY bad things that could happen if you didn't invite her...been there done that- just remember - where family is concern- that once you do something bad/stupid, it will haunt you for the rest of your life- shoulda, woulda coulda- does that make sense? Enjoy YOUR special day-It should be a once in a lifetime event...Good Luck!

[kriskay]

Yes, I think you did the right thing. Your fiance' probably would have regretted not having her there. No matter what she does, she still is his mother. Enjoy your wedding day and just avoid her!!!!! Good luck.

[Angel Lips]

I believe you did the right thing...trust me my boyfriends mom is the same exact way. Best of luck hun

[JKATHERINE]

You did the right thing. It is important that she be there if it means a lot to your future husband. My (now) MIL was terrible at our wedding reception. She sat at a table by herself with a scowl on her face most of the time. At one point, she followed two of her neices into the bathroom and proceeded to scream at them that they and their mother (my MIL's sister) shouldn't be there. I pray that your future MIL behaves herself!! And yes, remember, it was not your desire to have her there, it was allll for him. :)

[Tracy'sMom]

I think You did the right thing and I pray that everything turns out good for You.

[Tasha405]

Just remember you didn't invite her your fiance did. You will be busy that day and just make a point to not be around her. There will be plenty of people there to distract her. Good luck and I think you did a good thing. This makes your hubby very happy and it's all about give and take.
ITA! Good luck with everything!! :D {{{Hugs}}}

[1tiredmom]

you did the correct thing-and no matter is she is nasty to you the worst she gets the more understanding you become & it will her they remember negatively and how well you handled the situation ---have a great weding!!!

[queenangie]

Do you have any brothers? If she acts up, have them politely ask her to excort her outside 'to have a smoke!'

Focus on the + of the day!

God Bless!

[catdance]

Yes, you have done the right thing, this is your day and his, if she makes a bad choice, it will be remembered, but not to be "dwelled upon", think of it this way, days, weeks years, after your "big" day what regrets could really act as a "stickler" later on, down the pike..if you can greet her do that, and remember, this is you and your fiance's BIG day..not hers..just "smile" and move away from her..I get that idea, of being terribly hurt by her, and the best revenge..is "living well, acting well, and if need be acting if she isn't there"..show your true " being brought up well colors"..
Taking this risk, shows true maturity on your behalf, let her do whatever she does, and if it does become uncomfortable, others will notice, and you should give it NO CREEDANCE, nor energy..
Have a beautiful day, the days leading up to it and after.. :) !
I am proud of you....