My MIL is at it again I am ready to run away

[mom4angels]

I have vented one time before about my Mil letting my dh's ex live-in, in her house to visit. Keep in mind that my dh and her don't have any children together. She was just using him and sucking his life dry. She attempted to put him in jail when he made her move out of his house that he had before her moving in. So she really doesn't have any reason to be at my mil house. My Dh mom told me that she couldn't stand her when me and him got together. But yet she loves to throw her and my Dh ex wife in my face. Now let me explain my sil lives across the street she is married to the ex live ins brother. Soap opera time. My mil lives right beside her. When ex comes to visit which is often she started coming in my mil house to visit. I even came in one time and the witch was sitting there. Talking about being mad.
I can't control who this women has in her house but I have voiced my opinion because of the fact that my dh can't stand this women and his own om is letting her come into his parents house. He has said many times that it hurts him the things that she has done to him, especially this last with this women. I have told her several times that he hurts her son's feeling everytime she lets this women in her door. My mil is also a lair and a bad one. She turns right around a tells me that the women doesn't bother her when she is there and she is ok with her being there because she doesn't mean anything to her. She also tells me that my dh has told her that it doesn't bother him that she is over there. I told my dh the first time she told that he better get that crap she is saying straight. Then I decided after my first post that she wasn't worth the trouble of him saying anything because will not listen anyway. Well something happened with her over the weekend that didn't have anything to do with mt dh but one of his family members. They find out the family members with kill her because it started in her home with her sitting right with them. She told my dh that she wasn't going to ever let her in her yard again. That really made me angry so I was talking to her one the phone listening to the story which she told a more detailed story to me then my dh.( the one she told dh made her seem more innocent the she was) I told her after she finished that she should have let her over there because how it made her son feel. She once again tells that my dh has told that it didn't bother him that she over there and that is all she know. Both of us started to raise our voices. We both changed the subject and I got of the phone. I told he that I was real tired of her trying to start mess between him and I. I told my dh that I really don't care anymore if the women is over there because that her choice. I told him that I was done with her anyway because this and other things. Like that fact that she ignores that our children exist. Plus there is alot more too. I told him that I was tired of the fact that she is using a lie to justify the women being in her house. I told him that I want her to know the way he feels about the whole situation. I am sorry this was long. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening. She just makes me want to scream and I am a sahm with a broke car. So I can't go anywhere to relieve my frustrations :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[msshannon]

If it makes you feel any better, MIL, hubby and I are ALL going at it since yesterday. MIL has a lyin' a$$ boyfriend who has a son(not biological) named Brandon(Brandon is 13) Brandon molested a relative of mine...we don't know exactly what happened because the child is 3 and isn't very descriptive because he's 3...he doesn't know how to exactly verbalize what has happened but we suspect the worst. Since this child is 3 and hasn't been exactly clear on what's happened, MIL and her bf think it's been blown out of proportion...they are insinuating the 3 year old is making up stuff(yeah right) so when we told her my children were not allowed to that house(Brandon is still going over there)she has blown a fuse and will not try to understand our concern...she will not meet us halfway...we've told her she can come see the kids and take them anywhere but to that house. Since they're not allowed to be in that house or spend the night, she is pitchin' a fit! I'm trying to be the go-between and calm everyone's feelings but it's getting very hard since this child is related to me. She's going to be here in a half an hour to see my children and I'm losing my mind over how to handle the situation. Supervised visitation is how it's gonna have to be! :mad:

[Angel Lips]

I am sorry, if it helps any my boyfriends mom doesnt like me and I cant even go anywhere over there or go to any of my boyfriends families gathers because his mom doesnt want me there. I feel for you and I am sorry (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

[mom4angels]

If it makes you feel any better, MIL, hubby and I are ALL going at it since yesterday. MIL has a lyin' a$$ boyfriend who has a son(not biological) named Brandon(Brandon is 13) Brandon molested a relative of mine...we don't know exactly what happened because the child is 3 and isn't very descriptive because he's 3...he doesn't know how to exactly verbalize what has happened but we suspect the worst. Since this child is 3 and hasn't been exactly clear on what's happened, MIL and her bf think it's been blown out of proportion...they are insinuating the 3 year old is making up stuff(yeah right) so when we told her my children were not allowed to that house(Brandon is still going over there)she has blown a fuse and will not try to understand our concern...she will not meet us halfway...we've told her she can come see the kids and take them anywhere but to that house. Since they're not allowed to be in that house or spend the night, she is pitchin' a fit! I'm trying to be the go-between and calm everyone's feelings but it's getting very hard since this child is related to me. She's going to be here in a half an hour to see my children and I'm losing my mind over how to handle the situation. Supervised visitation is how it's gonna have to be! :mad:
I am sorry that you are going through this. My Mil acts like we don't have any children. I would stick to my guns and not let my kids to that house as long as that boy stays there, I wouldn't care how mad your mil gets. See like you have tried to keep the peace between her and I but I decided last night was the final straw with her. I am just so fed up with the way she treats her son and me and especially her grandkids. I feel that my children are better off without her lying crap in their little lives. My Dh's and my childrens feeling are going to come first before hers from now on. I really hope your little relative is ok. It is so sad when something like that happens to mess up a little life. Protect your children from that and if your Mil doesn't understand then I would tell that it is her problem. I would have to ask her if she is going to protect a child molester or her grandkids. I have to live across the street from mine I hope you don't.

[LuvBigRip]

Sounds like your MIL likes to create drama and be the ring master of all the fall-out. If at all possible, ignore any mention of the ex from your MIL, if she brings her up, state you don't want to talk about her, and end the conversation. Don't give this mean and bitter woman a chance to bait you at all. Maybe if she doesn't get the response she obviously craves it will stop.

[msshannon]

I live 30 min. away from my MIL but I live right next door to MY mother and my mother HATES my MIL...lol...my MIL is a dope head pill popper that has let a man and drugs get in the way of seeing her grandchildren(no offense to anyone that smokes dope or pops pills) I have to listen to my mom ramble on about how much of a sorry human being my MIL is and I agree, but sometimes it's just all too much when my mom is putting in her 2 cents...even though she means well..lol. So far I've been able to keep my kids' ears from hearing this crap..my mom and hubby are very good at this too...it's my MIL and her bf that choose to discuss unnecessary "adult" things in front of my children...I've confronted MIL about this and she's been behaving, it's her bf who thinks it's ok :mad: So much drama... :rolleyes: :( :mad:

[justme23]

I agree... MIL is def trying to cause drama and (sorry) you are giving it to her. Unless you are in her house why would either of you care if she's there? I understand there's a priciple behind it, but telling her that only feeds in to her need for the drama.

Also, I don't know how your hubby is but I do know how mine is... especially w/ his family... Have you HEARD him tell his mom he doesn't like the ex being over there? My hubby has been telling me for YEARS now that he's going to tell his sister that she's rude to me and hurts my feelings, but he's yet to do it. I've yet to meet a man that would stand up to his family for his wife... maybe I'm not around the right ones... I did over hear one on a payphone once so I know they exist!

Anyways, I am sorry this is upsetting you... I can't say I wouldn't be upset either cause I probably would, but don't let her know it upsets you... she doesn't deserve the satisfaction!

((((hugz))))

[1tiredmom]

I am sorry, if it helps any my boyfriends mom doesnt like me and I cant even go anywhere over there or go to any of my boyfriends families gathers because his mom doesnt want me there. I feel for you and I am sorry (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))


Angel Lips---i just know you forgot to add that becasue you're not welcomed -that he does not go either-right?????if you are/will be part of his life-they better get over it and somebody like you bf should say

[Freebeemom]

(no offense to anyone that smokes dope or pops pills) I just had to laugh msshanno! That was funny!


I was coming here to vent about my MIL. SUCH drama all the time! She and my SIL Talk about me all the time. I cannont even remember the last time we saw them. MIL only calls dh on his cel phone...doesn't call here.....and it all stems b/c I graduated college...so If I come up with a solution to some problem I get the "oh, did you learn that from college?"....it used to be vocalizaed, then talked behind my back, now it is just a look. I am so totally sick of trying to cater to them and be a good dil.

Ugh! I feel for you all!

[1tiredmom]

(no offense to anyone that smokes dope or pops pills) I just had to laugh msshanno! That was funny!


I was coming here to vent about my MIL. SUCH drama all the time! She and my SIL Talk about me all the time. I cannont even remember the last time we saw them. MIL only calls dh on his cel phone...doesn't call here.....and it all stems b/c I graduated college...so If I come up with a solution to some problem I get the "oh, did you learn that from college?"....it used to be vocalizaed, then talked behind my back, now it is just a look. I am so totally sick of trying to cater to them and be a good dil.

Ugh! I feel for you all!

shoot-- tell them yes in fact you did learn that in college and you have found that you are never too old to go back to college cause you would /will be the same age if you did or not & the community college would be a great place to start and if they want you'd be happy to get the info & send it to their house

[msshannon]

I had to make sure those who smoke and pop know that I couldn't give a lesser crap so I wouldn't get flamed..LMAO!! I can just see those two awful women saying "Did you learn that in college?" :mad: I have some bitter ole' trashy women in my family that are intimidated because some of us are educated :rolleyes: My FAL is a real piece of work as well...he only calls hubby on his cell phone and when I answer, he pretends to be a saleman..LMAO! So mature that one is!! :rolleyes: Hubby and I have made it our own little private joke when the in-laws become too much...we'll sit and playfully make fun of each other's parents and this helps lighten the mood. I'll say "Did you learn that from your momma?"..and he'll say "No, I learned it from YOUR momma!" It's kept my marriage in tact... :D

[Tasha405]

Hmm, this sounds like my MIL with my DH's ex. She is always at my MIL house and my MIL even keeps her kids 90% of the time!! And no, they are not my DH's. We have told my MIL many different times how WE don't like for her to be there but yet she is anyway. Well, she has stopped her from coming over there while we are there though (after a few years or us telling her). But we still get to listen about her life and what she's up to. We could really care less but we can't get MIL to understand that. I even asked her how she would like it if I had one of my FIL's ex's at my house all the time and when she came to visit. lol

Anyway, good luck with everything and I hope it all gets worked out soon.

Oh, I forgot to add that my DH did tell his mom and his dad but it didn't really seem to help. Only after a few years did we see any changes. Like I said, the ex doesn't come around while we are there but we still have to hear about her. :rolleyes:

[Freebeemom]

Just remember ALL These problems when we become mother in laws! I hope I am NEVER like that!

[msshannon]

Hey mom4angels...come pick me up and I'll run away with ya..we'll go with that nice lady who's going to Panama City Florida(sorry that I forgot your name)

[andreame70]

I wish I had some advice for you. I know exactly how you feel. I have had so many problems with my own MIL. Here is the link to my latest problem with her that I came here to vent about http://www.bigbigforums.com/showthread.php3?t=255165&page=1&pp=15

I am afraid that all I can do is offer you a hug and an ear to listen.
Good luck!

Andrea

[Army-Mom]

Hey mom4angels...come pick me up and I'll run away with ya..we'll go with that nice lady who's going to Panama City Florida(sorry that I forgot your name)
I live about an 1 1/2 from panama...
I guess I just got a lucky cause I had the best mom in law in the world...she was my best friend and I lost her in Dec. and I miss her so bad...she is an angel in heaven now..
love Marcia

[msmom79]

my inlaws were all told i was crazy.i was put into a hospital for 6 days.i got no pills while in there and none when i was released.i GOT THE PAPERS THAT GAVE ME A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH,i proved all of them wrong.whoo hoo yes im proud!!but i do believe this woman is out to get you,and out to make you mad.im like everyone else when she starts her crap put your hand up to her and say these words"your done" and walk away or hang up on her.no-one should have to take this much crap from anyone! and maybe she is one of them people that really does need help!! a big hug to you and hang in there!! ann

[hotwire]

Thank God im single!

[mom4angels]

Hey mom4angels...come pick me up and I'll run away with ya..we'll go with that nice lady who's going to Panama City Florida(sorry that I forgot your name)

That sounds really good but my kids would be lost without me. Their dad is clueless when it comes to them. My house who be torn into little pieces when I got home. JustME you are right about men not telling their family's off to defended their wifes. My dh said he was going to say something the last time but I changed my mine because I didn't think she would listen anyway. But this crap has gone on to much. I just have really gotten so tired of it. If she wants this women in her home that is fine with me, but I am not going to try to get along with her anymore for the sake of my Dh. I just want him to say the words to her face that yes it does make him very mad when that women is in her house and to stop telling my wife that I said it didn't bother me that she is over here. I think that she believe her stupid lies. I think he will say something but we will see. I really haven't seen him defend me yet. That really makes me angry too. But that is a man for you. Maybe he will surprise me. He already told her one time , when she told him that it really upset me when the ex was over at her house that it really bugged him just to she her on this street. So I don't know how you can get It doesn't bother him that she is mom's house. This woman has treat all her children like crap and they all know it. But they just put up with it because she is mom. She spent most of her life brainwashing them into thinking that they deserved the way she treated them. It really takes alot to get my DH mad but in the last 6 months he has told her off about other things so maybe he will say something. I just know that I am done being the nice daughter in law. I am done with it. For now on it is talk to the hand because I don't want to hear about this women or the ex wife period. I wanted to thank everybody for sharing their MIl story I feel for all of you'll who have a monster in law too. If you have one that you get along with cherish it. And as for lips( can't remember rest of name sorry) if you aren't included now in any family stuff it isn't going to get an easier if you marry your boyfriend. Does he defend you to his parents and not go to these family parties without you. If he goes without you , you really need to ask yourself is this the way you want to spend your life if you do marry him. It will not get better trust me. I hope that it works out for you. :eek: :eek:

[msshannon]

Thank God im single!


Man! I hear ya!!

[1tiredmom]

my mil died in 1985 and she sometimes would be a work of art. hubby & i went together for 3 1/2 years before we married-it was after we wed when things changed-for our wedding she showed me a dress she was thinking of buying -i told her it was a very pretty dress(cough, cough)it was a sky blue and had a BIG flower embroided(sp?)on the top but since she would be wearing a corsage they may clash-she agreed-then 2 days before the wedding she called me & told me she had bought a dress and wanted me to come see it-said ok-hubby & i both went and was told the dress was in her bedroom-hubby had to put his hand over my mouth-it was the same dress!!oh & i forgot the shoes she bought the day of and they were silver glittered
bedroom slippers(said all she could find) -ok-we bought a house 5 houses away from her & would ask me how come i was keeping her son & grandson away from her-told her she knew where i lived & her son knew hers too talk to him-she got sick and was living with one of her other sons that were married-and my sil would call me & ask me to come over cause mil would not let her do anything just kept wanting me there with her--go figure

[mom4angels]

Well if anyone is interested my Dh said something to his mom last night. He asked what made her think that it didn't bother him that the crazy witch was in her house. She actually looked at him and she well I knew it bothered you but I didn't know it bothered you that much. She lied to him. It was really a waste of time because she is going to do what she wants. She is actually more mad at this women because of what happened with the other family memeber then with her son and his wife. I just told him last night that she really screwed herself up because I was the one she came to for money when she needed not her son. If she needed something she always called me. Well to __ _ll with her. She is on her own. She has other children she can torment. I told her that I was done completely . I told anything that his dad needed he would get. He really can't take care of himself and MIl calls herself taking care of him but that is a real laugh because the only thing she cares about is herself. So I will help with him not her. Thanks guys for listening. I am sure I will be back because it will not take her long to do something again.

[BabyDolla]

I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed!!!
I love my MIL and we get along great. Wish we could move her and my parents down here so we could see them more often, but am thankful that the Lord has given us wonderful parents.
All my prayers and sorry.