Frustrated....Not sure what to say if anything

[belle5691]

I work a "regular" job...and also a home based business which provides legal services and identity restoration to people. I work at building a relationship up with people and get to know them before I attempt to let them know about the business. I started going to the same church as my best friend about a year ago. We have about 500 members there. He has attended that church over 20 years. In the year I have gone there, I have gotten to know more people than he knows in the 20 years. Honestly. I have been introducing him to some of the members. Anyway, about a month ago, our church magazine had an article about identity theft in it. So, since my best friend and I had been talking about approaching the pastor with the idea of a seminar offering the service to the church members for over a year now, and there is now another church member who is a part of the business wanted to do the same thing, I got tired of just talking about asking the pastor...and the day the article was in the magazine, I took it, along with a cd about identity theft protection to the pastor and asked him to look at it, think about it...and see if it was something he would feel comfortable hearing more about and letting us offer to the church members as a group. Well, my friend really got uptight for a few days because OMG---I asked the pastor at the church and didnt make a separate appointment to do it through the week some other time. Keep in mind this is a liberal church that shows movies, and has military men come in to talk, etc....this was after service as we were leaving the church. Well friend got over it and apologized to me for correcting me on what I did. Well---Here is my frustration....I have worked to build up relationships, to let the pastor know that we can help church people with legal issues, identity theft, etc. Friend or other guys hasnt! However, when a church member went to the pastor for counseling this week with a legal issue, guess who the pastor called to help her? My best friend wrote up the membership on Friday. Am I wrong to be upset about it...and yes, there is financial compensation for the membership, but thats not what Im upset about as I have written 2 memberships in the past month and given both of those to my friend because he was having some financial issues at home. Its about me working to build the relationships up...and it gets handled to someone else. Does this happen just because he is a man -- or is it because hes been there 20 years longer than me or what? I just dont understand.

Sorry so long. Have to talk to someone....thanks for listening.

[Quaker_Parrots]

Could be. but in all honesty, sounds like your friend might have been mad at you(not because of ettiquette) but because he thought you were horning in on his business? I would question how good a friend he truly is.

[FreeBnutt]

Sounds like you got stepped on. After all, you joined to network, and sounds like you built it up. Are you and him partners? or competitors? Must be nice to have stuff put in your lap. Hope you talk to the pastor about speaking about identity theft, for your own reason. He's had ample time to do that since day one, and it's just happening now because you spoke up?

[belle5691]

Yeah, he is my direct upline, we are partners in this, and on top of that been best friends for more than 3 years now. Both of us would protect each others back for anything, but Im frustrated about this situation. I truly dont think that he even thought when the pastor called him to write this membership (I was at my other job anyway). Its just the principle of the thing to me. Im the one who did the networking...and he is the one who got called! So, Im mad at the pastor about it. As for him being paid for the membership, that doesnt matter either....because he is taking me to lunch tomorrow and spending all day Thursday with me and spending money on me then. I just want credit for the work I do.

[schsa]

Then tell him. You don't have to be mean spirited about it. Just ask politely and then say that you would appreciate it if he at least gave you credit. You did work on getting some things arranged and it was more important to you to be recognized for you efforts. But also you want to thank that person for working with you.

Give and take. Thank but ask for recognition. That way you get what you want without sounding like you are being a pain.

[belle5691]

I just got back from meeting him for lunch after work today, and we talked about things, and I told him that I was bothered. And I truly dont think he even realized about it. He kept apologizing and I didnt want to make him feel bad, I just want to be looked at as his equal. And I know the next time the pastor calls him to write a membership, he will think twice before he just goes and does it and excludes me, especially if I have done the preliminary work.

[Kelsey1224]

I understand that you did the work, however, I think you need to look at things from the Pastor's point of view. Who does he know better and who is he most comfortable with? If your friend has been attending this church for years...then their relationship is much stronger than yours.

I think the conversation with your friend is important as it clears the air and it makes clear what your expectations are. I would stress that you expect him to give you the business if you have done the groundwork. Assure him that you will do the same thing.

Is this Prepaid Legal Services by any chance?

[belle5691]

Yes, it is Prepaid Legal Services.....and I keep trying to think about it from the fact that he does know Kent better and longer. I guess I was just having sour grapes....but its past, and I feel better after talking to Kent today.... :) Not that I want anything from him, I just want him to think Im capable or to realize I helped too....LOL

[Kelsey1224]

Yes, it is Prepaid Legal Services.....and I keep trying to think about it from the fact that he does know Kent better and longer. I guess I was just having sour grapes....but its past, and I feel better after talking to Kent today.... :) Not that I want anything from him, I just want him to think Im capable or to realize I helped too....LOL

Well...you did more than just help...you actually sold the plan! He reaped the benefit from your advanced prep. I would make sure that he understand that loud and clear!!

Maybe the Pastor doesn't realize that you get a commission on each policy that you sell.

Anyway...I'm glad you feel better.