I'm so sick and tired of being a parent!

[SpazAttak]

I've had it with my son! I wish I had never had a child. I don't want him here with me anymore.

Flame away!! I really don't care anymore :mad:

[evrita]

wow :eek:

[catssass]

No flaming...I had one of those and now he is 24 and I love him again...not sure how old your son is but I coulda killed mine between the ages of 15-18, somehow we survived and it does get better...hang in there.......


...now I am dealing with a 15 yr. old daughter :eek: ..wanna trade? :D

[Chiizii]

No flame here.
Being a parent can be so hard and these kinds of feelings DO occur.

People just don't want to talk about them because it will mean that someone will interpret that they are a "bad" parent.

Even good parents reach the end of their rope during certain phases of their child's life, get tired, and just don't know what to do.

If there is anyone you can call for support, do it.

[Angel Lips]

I am sorry, sometimes i look forward to becoming a parent and others i think twice if i want children. I guess being a parent you have to have lots and lots of patience.

[galeane29]

Absolutely NO flaming coming from me. I know exactely how you are feeling.
I have 6 kids which only 3 live with us. My two youngest 8 and 2 drive me absolutely nuts. The 8 yr old gets mad cuz she thinks the baby gets away with stuff, but then again the baby is constantly hitting my dd and screams constantly. I am always telling John that I desperately need a break or i'mma run away from home.

[ezmoney163]

Wouldn't you feel awful if something would happen to your child?? You should never say you wished you never had him, there are some people who can not have children or have lost their child for one reason or another. Being a parent is hard I know I have 3 kids, one of which is going through the I know everything stage, but be thankful God gave you a child to care for. No matter what!!!

I will be praying for you to have guidence through this difficult parenting time!!

[1tiredmom]

won't get any flaming from me-there are MANY times i have to say/ask will someone remind me how lucky i am to have kids & how many families are out there crying because they can't--i've also have been known to say i'm gonna do ya in,bury you in the back yard & when someone asks where you're at -just telling you went up north to visit relatives likes it and refuse to come home
after this writing you don't worry about getting flamed ---i'll be hunted adown burned at the stake :eek:

[DBackFan]

I feel your pain, really I do. My two youngest are 20 and 21 and all I want is for them to GET A LIFE!!

[MamaFairal]

We've all had hard times with our kids but:
I HAVE NEVER WISHED I HADNT HAD THEM....call someone and get yourself HELP!!
PLEASE

[Freebeemom]

Ugh, you must be going through some tough times. I am frustrated with my 3 kids...summers are very long...and Mine still miss school.....Please continue to vent...maybe some specifics will help us all understand and vent along with you!!

HANG IN THERE!!!!!

[Damnifiknw]

Best thing you can do is call someone to come and pick your child up. I hope you didn't tell your child you didn't want him. In which case you probably have. You need to call child protection and have them come and get the child. I know parents who do not want their children will treat their children like garbage or end up harming them, Because they are fustrated...So, again do the wise thing and have your child removed from your home.

Another thing, a child isn't like an animal when you get tired of it you can just thow it away. In your case, I think your child would be better off without you. So, will so many other children who's parents who have the same logic of thinking...And, if you haven't already done so, go get your tubes tied. Don't bring another child into this world.

Sorry for being so nasty..No i'm not..you deserve someone to talk nasty to you..Your child didn't ask to have a parent like you nor did your child ask to be in this world...Since you want to throw your child away, someone needs to take you out in the middle of nowhere and drop you off like you are a dog.



And...It doesn't matter how fustrated you are or how much your life sucks..You don't take it out on a child...It seems like all you people are clapping your hands because this worthless excuse for a mother wants to get rid of her child.....People amaze me..Just because they have a bad day, it's their childs fault..It's actually your own faults...Don't take it out on your children just because you are fustrated. Take it out on yourselves...I don't feel pitty for any mother who says she doesn't want her child..I can only imagine what she actually says to the child..

[bribella]

Best thing you can do is call someone to come and pick your child up. I hope you didn't tell your child you didn't want him. In which case you probably have. You need to call child protection and have them come and get the child. I know parents who do not want their children will treat their children like garbage or end up harming them, Because they are fustrated...So, again do the wise thing and have your child removed from your home.

Another thing, a child isn't like an animal when you get tired of it you can just thow it away. In your case, I think your child would be better off without you. So, will so many other children who's parents who have the same logic of thinking...And, if you haven't already done so, go get your tubes tied. Don't bring another child into this world.

Sorry for being so nasty..No i'm not..you deserve someone to talk nasty to you..Your child didn't ask to have a parent like you nor did your child ask to be in this world...Since you want to throw your child away, someone needs to take you out in the middle of nowhere and drop you off like you are a dog.



And...It doesn't matter how fustrated you are or how much your life sucks..You don't take it out on a child...It seems like all you people are clapping your hands because this worthless excuse for a mother wants to get rid of her child.....People amaze me..Just because they have a bad day, it's their childs fault..It's actually your own faults...Don't take it out on your children just because you are fustrated. Take it out on yourselves...I don't feel pitty for any mother who says she doesn't want her child..I can only imagine what she actually says to the child..

ITA!

[SpazAttak]

Best thing you can do is call someone to come and pick your child up. I hope you didn't tell your child you didn't want him. In which case you probably have. You need to call child protection and have them come and get the child. I know parents who do not want their children will treat their children like garbage or end up harming them, Because they are fustrated...So, again do the wise thing and have your child removed from your home.

Another thing, a child isn't like an animal when you get tired of it you can just thow it away. In your case, I think your child would be better off without you. So, will so many other children who's parents who have the same logic of thinking...And, if you haven't already done so, go get your tubes tied. Don't bring another child into this world.

Sorry for being so nasty..No i'm not..you deserve someone to talk nasty to you..Your child didn't ask to have a parent like you nor did your child ask to be in this world...Since you want to throw your child away, someone needs to take you out in the middle of nowhere and drop you off like you are a dog.



And...It doesn't matter how fustrated you are or how much your life sucks..You don't take it out on a child...It seems like all you people are clapping your hands because this worthless excuse for a mother wants to get rid of her child.....People amaze me..Just because they have a bad day, it's their childs fault..It's actually your own faults...Don't take it out on your children just because you are fustrated. Take it out on yourselves...I don't feel pitty for any mother who says she doesn't want her child..I can only imagine what she actually says to the child..


Excuse me?? How dare you. Regardless of how I'm feeling I would never say anything to my son nor do I treat him like garbage. In fact he's very well taken care of. And don't you EVER insinuate that I would lay a hand on him. Do you see all the posts above yours? Those are from other parents who understand that I'm frustrated at the moment and came in here to vent. Nothing more. Worthless excuse of a mother? You don't have the first clue what you're talking about so shut up.

[Chiizii]

No, not clapping at all. In fact I haven't stopped thinking of Spaz since I read this post. First, I did not assume that these feelings were more than an outcry from a parent that has reached a point of screaming for help in such a way.
I remember that this child has been difficult in the past, she has no help from the father and a few more life challenges that could lead up to her wording such a phrase.


As wise as your words may sound the truth is that some parents do reach these points with their children. They do say phrases like this that do not mean that they really want their child to go away or ever been born.
Many adults have heard their parents say the same thing in full knowledge that their emotions have gotten ahead of themselves and such words are not true.

I am a mother of 4. One of those children was very difficult to raise. IF I can relate to the difficulty, I think Spaz needs to know that there are other parents out there that have felt similiar feelings, we got through those feelings and are here today to offer what we can.

Living in the real world means that sometimes you make some serious mistakes that will take some serious time to repair. But they can be repaired.

I am sure we will all agree that this family needs some real help. But I did not first assume that she feels anything different than she was at the end of her rope with her son. Why would she come here and say something like that if she was serious? Uncaring parents will just do it, we see that in the news.

If I knew where Spaz was I would go to her and see what could be done to rectify this situation.

[justinenycole26]

We've all had hard times with our kids but:
I HAVE NEVER WISHED I HADNT HAD THEM....call someone and get yourself HELP!!
PLEASE

ITA.

[tommyjo]

I usually refrain from commenting on posts, but I cannot seem to control myself on this one.
If any one of you people that are flaming her have a child under the age of 12, boy or girl, LOOKOUT!! IT IS COMING.
If you do have children over that age and arent going crazy, PLEASE PUBLISH YOUR SUCCESS STORY/ACTIONS.
I have raised 6 children, none of them angels, none devils either, but around 12/13 they became CHILDREN OF THE CORN( for reference).
Mine are a mix of 3/3 girls/boys.

[SpazAttak]

I feel sorry for all you "perfect" parents who of course never ever get frustrated with things their kids do *rolls eyes* And God forbid you should ever want to come into this forum to express your frustration. Be careful, for others will take you literally. The time will come when your teenager will feel that everything should be handed to them on a golden platter. That you exist only to wait on them hand and foot. That they don't have to contribute to the welfare of the household, but instead get to sit in their room and do nothing but play video games. Your time is coming. And when you come in here to vent about your child I will call you a worthless excuse of a mother and say nasty things about you. That time is right around the corner.

Now I would appreciate it if the Mods would please close this thread. Thank you :)

[nosamiam]

I feel your pain sister!!!! Hang in there and remember to breathe!

[tommyjo]

Just to let ya know, they are all over 20 now and doing just great! But wasnt real sure I could keep my sanity long enough to see them thru high school. But I did survive, so did they and no one is in jail! LOL

[stresseater]

Excuse me?? How dare you. Regardless of how I'm feeling I would never say anything to my son nor do I treat him like garbage. In fact he's very well taken care of. And don't you EVER insinuate that I would lay a hand on him. Do you see all the posts above yours? Those are from other parents who understand that I'm frustrated at the moment and came in here to vent. Nothing more. Worthless excuse of a mother? You don't have the first clue what you're talking about so shut up.
Yeah for you I totally agree. People are real quick to judge you and a raveing lunitic because you decided to vent about your kids? WTH? I too know what it's like to wish this. I figure if you have kids and don't get to feel this occasionally you are either not WITH your kids enough or they may need to drop that prozac dose a bit. :D :D

-i've also have been known to say i'm gonna do ya in,bury you in the back yard & when someone asks where you're at -just telling you went up north to visit relatives likes it and refuse to come home
LMAO We tell em the old Bill Cosby thing...I'm gonna take you out and I still have your daddy so I'll make another one look just like you. :D :D I know totally scandelous. I figure if they don't learn at an early age that if they act like fools nobody wants to be around them. Better they learn it now than me sheltering them all their little lives and then the public at large teaches them the hard way as adults. Vent away my friend. :D

[Chiizii]

Amazing how becoming a parent does not make us perfect storybook parents.

I remember my mom getting so frustrated because my dad was never there and I was a horrible pre-teen. "I love you" and "I am sorry sure" went a long way when she said things that she really didn't mean or I overheard something she said to a friend because I was being so darn hard to raise.

Parents are people, make mistakes. Mistakes can be forgiven and we move on from them.

Spaz... I hope you feel the support that is here for you.

[SpazAttak]

I can understand the frustrations that a parent goes through sometimes because I have three kids of my own. But NEVER in my life would I ever make a statement like that. The old saying "Be careful what you wish for" comes to mind. God could decide to take your son from you, and you would live the rest of your life regretting those words.

Whatever the situation is, I really hope you will get some help to work it out.

BTW, My answer to parental frustration is SUMMER CAMP.... and my kids are going this weekend. :)

Ok, bad choice of words. But I think we can all agree that parenting is the hardest job in the world. I love my son. It's been me and him since he was a year and a half old and he's my little buddy. Ok big buddy, since he calls me shorty lol. But since you're a parent you should know that we get frustrated sometimes and I was most definitely feeling that way today. Regardless, there was no need for some of the harsh words coming from some people. Anyone who thinks they are perfect parents can borrow my 14 year old for a week or two and that'll put you in your place realllllllllll quick.

[YankeeMary]

Its not right or fair for me to sit and judge you or your statement all I know to do is pray for you and your situation. I have 2 sons (11&14) and a stepdaughter (22) and I truly know your frustration. I have personally been on the verge of pulling out all my hair by the roots but have never (at least not yet) said what you did. Just by coming here and posting the way you did, lets me believe that you just needed to vent. I don't personally think you will do any harmful to your child. But please know if I can do anything to help I am just an email/PM away and you will be in my prayers.

[Lora_1994]

I haven't read all your past posts, so I don't know what you are going through with your son... nor do I need to know.

I can understand the frustrations that a parent goes through sometimes because I have three kids of my own. But NEVER in my life would I ever make a statement like that. The old saying "Be careful what you wish for" comes to mind. God could decide to take your son from you, and you would live the rest of your life regretting those words.

Whatever the situation is, I really hope you will get some help to work it out.

BTW, My answer to parental frustration is SUMMER CAMP.... and my kids are going this weekend. :)



I totally agree with what Tina said. You obviously knew you were going to be flamed when you wrote that, but I agree, there have been some things said that probably shouldnt have been said. My oldest is 9 and is SUCH a handfull now, I'm terrified of how he's going to be at 12 or 13.

The best of luck to you and hope things get better for you SOON ;)

[SpazAttak]

See that's just it mine's not a handful. He just doesn't want to do anything! All I did was ask him to wash a pan out so I could cook dinner and Lord Almighty you would've thought I asked him to do something awful. He pitched a fit like I've never seen, and it's not the first time either. I don't ask my son to do much around the house except A) feed the cat B) take out the garbage and C) keep his room clean. He can't even do that!!! So tonight since he didn't want to help with dinner he got sent to his room without it. Yes, I sent my 14 year old to bed without any dinner. I figure hit him where it really hurts...his stomach. Let him think about it and maybe next time when I ask him to wash a pan or something he'll gladly do it.

[okie]

I'm not sure what to say to you but i'm not going to flame
you or judge you.My son is only three and i haven't wished
i never had him but i have wished i could just go on a very
long vacation or something,lol.I have heard a friend or two
say just what you said and they aren't bad parents.
They just needed to vent out their frustrations.I'm
sure raising teens isn't easy.I don't think there is a perfect
parent out there.Wouldn't it be nice if kids came with a manual?

[Lora_1994]

hun, my 9 y/o is the same way. We asked him today to clean his room. It would have taken MAYBE 5 minutes to pick up. Did he?? Oh lord no he didnt. Instead when my husband went in the bedroom to talk to him about it, just talk nothing more, my son screamed, hollered cried and then ran outside and up the hill to my moms saying that we were whipping on him. At that point, yeah, I wanted to be his butt right off of him. So I know exactly where you are coming from.

As far as him going to bed without dinner, I was sent to bed a few times without dinner growing up because of my attitude and it made me think twice about what I did.

Being a single parent is hard,hard,hard. I did it for a while with my kids but just remember who will have undying love and protect their momma for the rest of their life and those little tantrums or whatever they call them will seem like a bump in the road. :-)

[cleaningla]

Ok, bad choice of words. But I think we can all agree that parenting is the hardest job in the world. I love my son. It's been me and him since he was a year and a half old and he's my little buddy. Ok big buddy, since he calls me shorty lol. But since you're a parent you should know that we get frustrated sometimes and I was most definitely feeling that way today. Regardless, there was no need for some of the harsh words coming from some people. Anyone who thinks they are perfect parents can borrow my 14 year old for a week or two and that'll put you in your place realllllllllll quick.


Even harder when you are a single mother of a teenage boy.

Don't suppose there is any chance of getting dad involved. I know when my son was 15, I called his father who haddent seen him since he was three. He was at our door the next day. Helped some knowing his father cared, but I stilled ended up shipping him off to the Job Corps when he was 16.

He was only gone six weeks, during the dead of winter in Montana......LOL

He came back a changed person, was glad he only had to take out the trash, clean his room and wash a dish every now and then. Sometimes he even volenteered to do stuff. :)

Maybe in a couple years you can ship him off to Montana. (starts at 16)

[Denise1972]

I am not saying you are going to do this, but while my mom was beating the crap out of me one day, she told me she hated me and wished she had an abortion with me. I was 8 years old at the time. I am 31 now and I never forgot it. I remember it like it was yesterday.She ment it too. I never had a good relationship with my mom. She never wanted us. I have 3 other sisters. When my younger sister was born, she would take off and my 15 year old sister at the time had to take care of her. Now that is a horrible rotten mother. :(

I have a 2 year old DD that I make sure I tell her I love her several times a day. I VOWED I would never be like my mom. It hurts kids to say or even feel like that. I know some moms dont mean it, but mine did. Trust me, I have been around little ones all my life. I have neices and nephews just a few years younger than me. There was times I felt like I was going to pull every last hair out of my head, but I never wished that they werent here on this earth, no matter how mad I got.

[queenangie]

Being a parent is a very difficult job, a thankless job, and teenaged years are the hardest ones both for parents and for kids.

I once said something similar and it came out of my mouth before I could take it back. Not one of MY best parenting days.

My son remembers is clearly....all I could do was apologize and ask him to forgive & forget it. Likewise, I deserved & received an apology from my son for the episode preceeding my outburst.

Like the above....my kids are neither devils nor saints...and I'm trying my best to be a good Mother, just as you are. I'd have sent the boy to bed with no supper too.

Hugs & prayers, dear!
Angie

[SpazAttak]

Even harder when you are a single mother of a teenage boy.

Don't suppose there is any chance of getting dad involved. I know when my son was 15, I called his father who haddent seen him since he was three. He was at our door the next day. Helped some knowing his father cared, but I stilled ended up shipping him off to the Job Corps when he was 16.

He was only gone six weeks, during the dead of winter in Montana......LOL

He came back a changed person, was glad he only had to take out the trash, clean his room and wash a dish every now and then. Sometimes he even volenteered to do stuff. :)

Maybe in a couple years you can ship him off to Montana. (starts at 16)

His dad thinks that taking him 36 days out of the year makes him a great father. And he won't take him any other days because it interferes with the time he spends with his girlfriend (and they live together). I asked his dad if he could take him early one weekend so I could go camping and he said "sure, for $427" (the amount I get for child support). I love my son and never say anything bad about his father in front of him but the guys a loser. Me and my son will be just fine by ourselves without his help.

[Wimzik]

I've had it with my son! I wish I had never had a child. I don't want him here with me anymore.

Flame away!! I really don't care anymore :mad:

I wasn't going to post in this thread, but your choice of words just really bothers me. I have a 20 year old son, and 7 year old twins, and I have NEVER felt that way, And I can tell you my son did a lot worse things than not washing out a pan or taking out the garbage when he was a teenager, but I still can't imagine feeling that way about my own child. Venting or not, I don't think those are normal feelings, and I do think you need help dealing with them.

[suprtruckr]

i always gave mine an evil grin and a wicked laugh and told them "i brought you in this world i can take you out" :D
seiously tho, seems to me she hit a peak and came in here to vent (hence the name of the forum) instead of in front of her son, as the "experts" say take 5 to cool off and to me thats what she did

[janelle]

LOL, join the club. I heard a psychologist on TV once talk about teens. He said they go nuts when they hit 14 and stay that way until around 18. It's like having your old aunt Minnie who just got released from the mental home staying with you. You say, "how are you today aunt Minnie and she says, "What do you mean by that?!!! You just say hi to your teen and they go balistic. LOL

Just be glad you are the birth mom. I was the step-mom. Had the title but nothing else. My sister said it's at those times when you can remember how cute they were when they were little that keeps you from killing them (so to speak) for those who take everything literally. :D I didn't have that so it was harder to take the lip from someone who came with the hubby when I married. LOL

He actually called the police on his dad for asking him to take out the trash. He was not gonna do it, period. It was time to go back to his mother's house so he called the police to "escort" him home. Man, when the police got there and sized up the situation they tore his butt up good. One of them lectured him on everything he had to do when he got home from school everyday. Needless to say he took the trash before going to his mother's that night. :p

After that hubby and I would whisper to each other, "Aunt Minnie is here again, whenever he got in a "mood". It made us laugh under our breath. That helps. To have a sense of humor about it. What else are you going to do? ;) ;) ;)

[cleaningla]

His dad thinks that taking him 36 days out of the year makes him a great father. And he won't take him any other days because it interferes with the time he spends with his girlfriend (and they live together). I asked his dad if he could take him early one weekend so I could go camping and he said "sure, for $427" (the amount I get for child support). I love my son and never say anything bad about his father in front of him but the guys a loser. Me and my son will be just fine by ourselves without his help.

I never badmouthed my sons father either and today they are buddies (about as good as can be expected). My son will be 24 next month.

You'll see, when your son is 24, you'll both want him around.

My son tells people he was the teenager from you know where and can't understand how I tollerated him as long as I did. He turned out soooooooooo good.

I never told him I wished I'd never had him, but i did tell him he could get out and stay out for all I cared. (one time)

The Job Corps was his choice, all I did was brought home pamplets and threw them on the coffee table. I wasn't at all angry at him at the time, I just thought he might be interested. To this day he says it was a possitive experience and he is glad he went. :)

[okie]

i always gave mine an evil grin and a wicked laugh and told them "i brought you in this world i can take you out"

Lol,my mom used to tell me this all the time.

[kimp67]

(((((((((((((((SpazAttak)))))))))))))))))))

[Denise1972]

My cousin called DCFS on his mom one time cuz she wouldnt buy him a vcr .. heheh he was about 14 then. They hung up on him hehe. they seriously do go cukoo about that age. :) When my little sister was that age my dad wanted to disown her. Now she has 2 little ones of her own and they are driving her crazy now. If only dad could see this. :)

I know I am a new parent, but I basically had to raise myself so I grew up faster and had to be the older sister to my baby sister to make sure she stayed in line.

[SpazAttak]

seiously tho, seems to me she hit a peak and came in here to vent (hence the name of the forum) instead of in front of her son, as the "experts" say take 5 to cool off and to me thats what she did

Thank you for making that point, because that's exactly what I did. Let me clarify one thing: I did NOT say any of this to my son. I would never say that to him. And it wasn't just him not washing a pan. This has been going on for quite some time and I'm finally getting fed up with it. Sure I'm his mother. Sure I'm expected to cook and clean and everything else. But that doesn't mean he can walk all over me and get away with it.

Thank you to all of you who offered support. I really appreciate it. And to those of you who had harsh words to say I hope your kids grow up to be just like mine :)

[Denise1972]

Mine is going to be a holy terror hehe. She already is. ;)

[fatesfaery]

Thank you to all of you who offered support. I really appreciate it. And to those of you who had harsh words to say I hope your kids grow up to be just like mine :)

This made me chuckle, because The worse thing I can imagine wishing on someone would be my DD between the ages of 11-15.
DH and I were separated and things finally got so bad that I sent her to live with him when she was 12. She came back when she was nearly 15 and she was a changed person.She's 18 now and we couldn't be closer, we hardly ever exchange a cross word.They do eventually outgrow it.

[mommyx2]

Don't even give these people who are in here running their mouths a second thought Spaz! ((((((Spaz)))))) Sure hope things get better for you! :)

[gonnascream]

kids are 10 times worse than you were at that age. Im pretty sure when my girls are teenagers, I am going to have to nail down every window and padlock every door, and offer every boy that knocks on my door a free neutering.

I was every parents worst nightmare, and it all started at about 14 (go figure) I drank, smoked, yelled, cussed, stayed out all hours of the night, snuck out with boys, and THOUGHT I KNEW IT ALL. my mom and dad were referred to as every godforsaken name in the book. I told them I hated them and wished they were dead. I got escorted home by the police more than once. my mom and me turned the living room into a boxing ring more than once. dad would take away my car, I would just steal his keys when he went to sleep. And the list goes on and on and on.

Maybe it was the sudden burst of harmones that cause me to lose it. My mind left me and didn't return until the doctors came in and said "you have a girl"

OH CRAP!

Now all I can do is try my hardest and pray they turn out better than me. So far so good, but they are only 4 & 6.

[MelanieAnn]

Maybe it was the sudden burst of harmones that cause me to lose it. My mind left me and didn't return until the doctors came in and said "you have a girl"


LOL!!

(((Spaz)))

I feel the same way sometimes. I am only 21, had my first daughter at 17. I was no where near ready. I considered adoption when I was pregnant. But since the first time I heard her heartbeat at a doctor's appointment, I knew I could never give her up. I cried a lot the day she was born. I screamed so loud the nurses threatened to kick me out of the hospital. :eek: But when it was all over and I got to hold her, I cried tears of happiness. I try and think about that day when I feel that frustrated. My second daughter, however, decided to be like me and be breech. I had to have a cesarean section with her, so there was more complications. It was much more painful then the first I think.

Anyway, the point being... my girls are only 4 and 2 1/2. I feel like running away sometimes. Does that make me a bad parent? Well maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But me feeling like running away doesn't make me a bad parent. Do I tell my daughter's I want them not to exist??? Absolutely not! Doesn't mean I don't think it sometimes. :p I think about it, and then I realize how much my heart would break if anything ever happened to them. Then I feel guilty I ever had such a thought. Then I feel silly and realize, it's okay! It's okay to be frustrated, that's how kids are supposed to make you feel. I know my dad told me he would come home from work and my mom would be crying, because she couldn't handle my brother and I. So it must run in the family. :confused: Bottom line: I would never hurt my children, and would rather die myself then let anything happen to either of them. That doesn't mean I can't feel frustrated or feel like I could just go away! It's normal. I think. :rolleyes:

So Spaz, if you need to talk or vent, we can go off and do it together. Without the kids, LOL. :D

And flame me as well too if you'd like. I may be 21, but hey I'm an adult now. Kind of. ;)

[kama5207]

i was avoiding this thread as i could see the anger/frustration of the op. i had a son..lovely child. i had planned to leave my husband...not so lovely. then i found out i was pregnant... i pitzed and moaned to everyone that would listen...i did not want this child. yada yada yada... well in my 3rd month of pregnancy my son came down with german measles. after gettiing tested we found out i was carrying the antibodies which could be potentially harmful to the fetus. in checking everyone's blood/urine/whatever we also found that my dd was a high risk for other serious deficiencies as well as my husband & my blood weren't compatible to this child, in addition to the threat of her contacting german measles would be also at risk for some serious problems. i was offered a legal and medically sound abortion. the guilt was phenomenal. i declined the abortion/straightened out my act/ took all sorts of vitamins/ate well and prayed that i hadn't done too much damge to an already possibly damaged child. fast forward 32 yrs. she is my best friend/confidant and i hers. when speaking of her childhood i can honestly say, my son may have made me gray but she was the cause of major amts of hair loss. but to get to the point. i am so grateful i had her and i can't imagine what my life would be like without the joyous memories that come to mind. you kind of pass over the whacky years.i;m hoping that this will happen to you also.... just hang in there, i know it sounds impossible but they do eventually grow up and be delightful human beings. so unlike the cretins who invaded their bodies when they were young. but until i had the actual scare of losing her i would have been happier had i not been pregnant, all i can say is look at him on the good days...smile and be proud of what he does accomplish and think of your life without him. when i used to get frustrated with the crap they pulled while growing up, i think the most hurtful thing i could say to either of them. "i wish you no harm, only love and good fortune and children like yourselves twice over. and then you'll feel what i mean. good luck...

[DivineMsDi]

No judgement here, either. I wish you all the strength you need to raise a child on your own. There is an old saying that goes "There for the Grace of God go I." Even the most "seasoned" and expert parents could wind up with a child who drives them crazy. Teenagers are a breed apart!!! You can come here and vent (which is what you did, I don't think you planned anything sinister at all). Some parents here are also going through what you are, and can relate. Try to listen with an open mind. Much of your anger is directed toward your "useless" ex-husband. Perhaps if you get some counseling to deal with your anger towards HIM you may find you can heal your pain.

[momfromTN]

I feel sorry for all you "perfect" parents who of course never ever get frustrated with things their kids do *rolls eyes* And God forbid you should ever want to come into this forum to express your frustration. Be careful, for others will take you literally. The time will come when your teenager will feel that everything should be handed to them on a golden platter. That you exist only to wait on them hand and foot. That they don't have to contribute to the welfare of the household, but instead get to sit in their room and do nothing but play video games. Your time is coming. And when you come in here to vent about your child I will call you a worthless excuse of a mother and say nasty things about you. That time is right around the corner.

Now I would appreciate it if the Mods would please close this thread. Thank you :)

Honey, I feel for you. My 6 yr old, much as I love him, and I butt heads nearly every day. His father takes up for him too much and is not as strict with him as he needs to be and then WE butt heads too.

You do NOT have to take your son's crap. STOP waiting on him, and doing for him, except the bare minimum. Make the video game and other enjoyments "disappear". ALL you HAVE to provide is food, shelter, basic clothing, and education. Do ONLY what the law says you have to do for awhile. Perhaps that will teach him. If it is true that you get NO support from his father and his father doesn't like what you do, TOUGH. SOMEONE has to parent this child, right?

I do agree that maybe you might want to get some counseling, to help YOU deal with him, not that you are a bad parent.

Oh and to all you perfect parents. Your time is coming. While I would NEVER EVER tell my child they were not wanted, there are some days I DO wish for some peace and wish I had not become a parent. Of course that is in the heat of the moment and I regret the thought later. But, my kids will NEVER know that. Everyone has their moments where they are desperate. It does NOT mean this lady hates her child and REALLY wishes to be rid of him. You all need to back off and take a moment in her shoes. This should be a place to be able to vent and take a load off. One vent does not make her a bad parent or person. Better to vent here than at her child, don'tcha think?

[momfromTN]

His dad thinks that taking him 36 days out of the year makes him a great father. And he won't take him any other days because it interferes with the time he spends with his girlfriend (and they live together). I asked his dad if he could take him early one weekend so I could go camping and he said "sure, for $427" (the amount I get for child support). I love my son and never say anything bad about his father in front of him but the guys a loser. Me and my son will be just fine by ourselves without his help.

Yes and God Forbid, Mr Studmuffin not spend all his time with his little Shack-up Honey. Your son is better off without that scuz.

[lassss]

I got one word for ya Spaz.. PUBERTY....there was a really good show on PBS about male and female puberty and it explained the changes in moods, body, etc. Maybe you can get your hands on it and it might help you understand your son and how to deal with him. I know I go round and round with my 13 yr old on things...cleaning, attitude, etc. I can understand where you are coming from and hope things get better.

[Trishntx]

It's all about responsibility. We choose to take on that role when we have children, and granted they don't ask to come into this world. I have two boys and trust me, one of them was a headache to raise for 15 years. I had the hardest time. Someone here says, that between a certain age, you don't really like your children. That doesn't mean you don't love them and care for their safety. Just you wait.....they do grow up and hit a certain age where they become "human" again, and you have a new found love for them all over again. Mine are now 18 and 22, and wonderful young adults. The one I had trouble with, is now a well rounded spirited young man with a heart of gold.
Hang in there, it is hard, but life only gives us one chance.
Keep in mind how fast years fly by, stop, take a breath and look for the positive things in your child.
Good luck!

[suprtruckr]

show this to your son it may help :D

make sure you scroll down and read the story

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8107675670

[galeane29]

Oh MY Gosh to the flamers here. You may have children and love them dearly. I love my kids and would do anything in this world for them, I tell them every day that I love them and that I'm sorry if I fly off the handle. Now to the point of my post. I am not perfect and neither are you , I know for a fact that every single parent in this world with young or older children at some point or another has wished those kids would just dissapear , not that we have wish that we actualy never had them but just dissapear and give us a break , Lord knows I wish that a couple times a week. The good times do out weigh the bad but at the time you are feeling so frustrated that you wish you could crawl in a corner and dissapear yourself is when you need a well needed BREAK. Also nobody's kids or life is so freakin perfect that they dont feel this at least ONE time in their life. And to the person that posted that the OP's child needs another family .....SHAME ON YOU , you dont know what she has been through , you dont know what her life is like. Also , everyone handles things differently. Just because she posted what she did does not mean she would ever harm her child or does not deserve him. I'm getting out of here. Holyer than thou people just piss me off. {{{{spaz}}}} anytime you need to vent, my PM box is open ;)

[kama5207]

GOOD FOR YOU SUPRTRUCKR :

now that is what "good parenting" is all about in a nutshell...

[galeane29]

auctions by parents for punishment of child should be a new section on ebay.

[momfromTN]

auctions by parents for punishment of child should be a new section on ebay.


By golly I would do it if needed. I do NOT agree with this "kid's have all the rights and parents don't" crap. I will NOT have a child running MY home. I love my kids but I will not take crap from them and I will not have any govt. agency telling me how to discipline my kids. I want my kids to grow up to be productive citizens. Now, if I allow them full run of my house, with no boundaries, and no rules and no consequences for breaking those rules, HOW the heck will I have done my job as a parent? I am seeing young adults who were raised with this "free for all" and entitlement mentality. They have no manners, no compassion and are extremely selfish. I fear for our future.

[mom2cvam]

(((SpazAttak)))
I've had days just like that when I've felt so frustrated. I know how you feel. I have four kids that I am home with all the time. My DH is only home on the weekends and I'm left to take care of them by myself. My 11 year old son and 9 year old daughter know everything and think that they are above doing chores. WRONG! I DO get frustrated with them and wish I could have a nice vacation all by myself with no arguing, no bickering, nothing but peace and quiet. I would NEVER hurt my kids and would NEVER tell them that I don't want them just like I know you never would. We just get to that point where we NEED to vent just like you did.

momfromTN, I totally agree with you. My kids tried coming home from school and telling me that they didn't need to do chores or help around the house because if I tried to make them then that was child abuse. Let me tell you, that was the wrong thing to say to me! They had chores that weekend like you wouldn't believe! They haven't used that one on me since then. I was abused as a child so I know what abuse is. My children are not abused or unloved. I want my children to grow up and have respect, responsibility, and to be productive adults and I try very hard to make sure that it happens.

[momfromTN]

momfromTN, I totally agree with you. My kids tried coming home from school and telling me that they didn't need to do chores or help around the house because if I tried to make them then that was child abuse. Let me tell you, that was the wrong thing to say to me! They had chores that weekend like you wouldn't believe! They haven't used that one on me since then. I was abused as a child so I know what abuse is. My children are not abused or unloved. I want my children to grow up and have respect, responsibility, and to be productive adults and I try very hard to make sure that it happens.

Thank you. The govt. makes it so hard now. God help if any govt. person comes to my door and tells me that making kids do chores is child abuse. I am not afraid of them. I will tell that deluded and ignorant person exactly WHAT is abuse and what IS NOT. I know the law and they are not going to tell me how to raise my kids. And God help my kids if they decide to tell me that chores are abuse. Hee hee hee! Will THEY be doing the chores then! LOL!

[Faithfully]

i always gave mine an evil grin and a wicked laugh and told them "i brought you in this world i can take you out" :D
seiously tho, seems to me she hit a peak and came in here to vent (hence the name of the forum) instead of in front of her son, as the "experts" say take 5 to cool off and to me thats what she did

ITA :)

[schsa]

All I have to say is that anyone who is raising a teenager should be given 3 weeks of vacation a year away from them and tons of private and family therapy. I don't know how anyone does it without going nuts. Spaz, you have my deepest sympathy. Teens will drive you insane. Just hide the knives until he turns 25.

[ahippiechic]

I understand her frustration, I have a 24 yr old son that I raised mostly alone, and I thought I was going to end up in jail when he was a teenager! I've wished for a vacation on a deserted island many times, but have never wished I hadn't had him.
My 3 yr old DD is bugging the crap outta me right now, lol. :)

However, I think she was just letting off some steam here, and doesn't REALLY wish he wasn't hers.

[Lora_1994]

Thank you to all of you who offered support. I really appreciate it. And to those of you who had harsh words to say I hope your kids grow up to be just like mine :)




lmao.... my mom wished the same thing on me when I was pregnant with my oldest. Me and her had gotten into it and in the heat of the moment she told me, I hope when the baby gets older he gives you crap just like you do me.

Well, here it is he's 9 yrs old and he gives it to me 10 times worse than what I ever did my parents. NO exaggeration(sp?) He's VERY mouthy, disrespectful, think everyone owes him the world,etc. So I'm sure his teen years ought to be tons of fun. I'm hoping he grows out of this stage..lol

But when I saw that, you made me laugh, thanks for the chuckle. :p

[joesbaby]

my mom always wished that id have kids like me..guess what..i did. and my son..hes 12 going on 20 and im ready alot of the time to send him out to sleep with the dogs. some days..i wish i could take out his batteries..or find the sweet little boy i used to have...but im usually pretty good about loosing my cool. i usually tell him the i brought you in this world line, or the "ok its your room in my house and ill go in to do your laundry, or put up your clothes or what ever i want." i dont go thru his things, but i want him to know.there is always that chance that i will, just in case. i love my kids. but my son...is making me realize..it dont get better for a long time. i rember my mom and i being at each others throats from about 14 to 20. my son is now 12, my dd are 8 and 6. its gonna be a fun few years.lol. but i understand where you are coming from. i truely do. no flaming from me. i knw sometimes..i just tell my husband...im going for a shower. and refuse to come out for about an hour. just to excape.

hope it all gets better for you..
have a better day
ericka

[llbriteyes]

time will come when your teenager will feel that everything should be handed to them on a golden platter. That you exist only to wait on them hand and foot. That they don't have to contribute to the welfare of the household, but instead get to sit in their room and do nothing but play video games.


OMG! They don't get over it either! My 22 year old still lives at home (mind that he does have a full-time job at Whirlpool and is responsible outside the home and pays rent). I do his laundry, I make enough dinner to feed him, and STILL he doesn't pick up after himself. My 20 year old daughter just got home from college and I'm about to STRANGLE her! She sits on the computer all day, won't get a job, and expects me to attend all her needs! Not THIS mama!

ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

L

[llbriteyes]

Wouldn't it be nice if kids came with a manual?

They do. Its called "The Bible."

L

[YankeeMary]

They do. Its called "The Bible."

L

AMEN!!! I agree completely.

[dlwt]

Man when I was a kid me and my Mom really went at it. She said she wish I wasnt born, I said I wish she had a abortion etc. etc. Didnt hurt us in the least and now I laught about it. I was a pain in the a$$ to my Mom. Thats what this foroumn is suppose to be Vent and Wine. Hope you are better today kiddo. BTW-Never could have kids but I STILL understand how you feel