Strange co-worker

[bribella]

I work with this woman and we had became friendly shortly after I started there, and she seemed really nice. After I wasfired she looked up my number in the database at work and started calling me all the time, I was like "that's cool".

I was going to give her a bunch of baby items I have from my daughters, if she has a girl(she's PG). Anyway, I got my job back there last month and I had told her I would have a baby shower for her in Sept. So I start planning and then she comes to work and starts to tell me that she went driving around looking for my house.

And I'm thinking,OK.....And a couple days after that she tells me again that she went hunting for where i live. (she doesnt bother to just call me and ask if she can come over and needs directions) For the past 3 weeks I have noticed her driving past my house like 2x's a day!! She has no reason to drive past my house as she lives in another town about 30 miles from here.

Then yesterday I am sitting talking to my DH and we see a flower delivery guy walk past our window, and DH jokes " Your boyfriend must of sent you flowers, LOL" I said it is probably for the lady who lives upstairs.

Well then my doorbell rings and the delivery guy says the flowers are for me. So I get all happy thinking DH is suprising me wiyh flowers!!!...............NO!!! The card & flowers were from the co-worker!!!! WTH!!! Too wierd for me I must say and she signed the card ...love, sgsgsg.
:confused: :eek:
What should I do?

[DivineMsDi]

She may be lonely or a nut...proceed with caution.

You're moving anyhow. Stay friends w/her but don't reveal any info about WHEN or WHERE you are going if you can. Just say, (if she knows) yes, we are moving but I don't have a forwarding address. If she doesn't know you are moving, just play it cool.

Do you think she is obsessed with you or just being nice? Maybe she feels sorry you were fired after you became friends with her, and misses you at work.

Is she married or with a b/f?

Go with your intuition.

[bribella]

She may be lonely or a nut...proceed with caution.

You're moving anyhow. Stay friends w/her but don't reveal any info about WHEN or WHERE you are going if you can. Just say, (if she knows) yes, we are moving but I don't have a forwarding address. If she doesn't know you are moving, just play it cool.

Do you think she is obsessed with you or just being nice? Maybe she feels sorry you were fired after you became friends with her, and misses you at work.

Is she married or with a b/f?

Go with your intuition.
I am still working with her , I got rehired last month. And she has a B/F, I havent yet told her that we are moving. But it is hard to believe most things that she says. She tells a lot of very TALL tales at work.

[booker'sbaby24]

I wouldn't dare tell her where I am moving or give her your number. Just be nice and talk to her at work and that is all I would do. Sounds like to me she is a little obsessed or something. Be careful!

[ezmoney163]

It sounds to me that she is in need of a friend too despreately. Like one of those people who are very needy. Not to sound ignorant but I really do not see anything wrong with her signing the card "Love" I do it all the time. JMHO Just be very cautious where this friendship leads, sometimes the lonely and desperate do strange things.

[MamaFairal]

DONT tell her your moving!!!!

[YankeeMary]

I have an idea...thank her for the flowers...I think it was a great thing for her to do. If she ever does cross a line, then deal with it then, until then just enjoy her friendship. If you were giving me a bunch of clothes and throwing me a party then I would have sent you flowers also and I would Love you just for being so kind.

[cookiegirl]

Hi I do not normally stick my 2 cents in, but I do think this is weird. What I find odd that she is driving by your house. To me that kind of borders on stalking. Be careful. I agree with everyone else, do not tell her you are moving.
I do apologize I get very suspicous, I was a criminal justice major I read way too many true crime stories.

[bribella]

It's not so much that I thought the flowers were strange, however the card only said love, (insert name) nothing else. But what really bothers me is that she goes out of her way to drive past my house all the time. If she is lonely why wouldn't she simp0ly call and ask to come over. Why drive slowly past my house and never stop or call? As I said earlier she lives 30 miles away from me and I can't think of any reason that would take her past my house. There are no businesses nearby , I live in the country.

[Quaker_Parrots]

It is called STALKING and it is illegal. Please be careful. It would freak me out if someone drove past my house like that.

[reneep45]

Ask her , thats what i would do .
Just say ,, hey , "her name" i saw you go by last night , you should have stopped to meet my husband or have coffee.
just see what she replys

[hotdoglove]

well I am not sure what I would do at all- I can see both a good side and a very bad side to this

[ttistin]

Ask her , thats what i would do .
Just say ,, hey , "her name" i saw you go by last night , you should have stopped to meet my husband or have coffee.
just see what she replys

This sounds like a good idea, except the idea that she is going by the house all the time. That may be an invination for her to think she can just stop over at all time of the day, or night.

I would procede with caution, dont tell her your moving, go with your gut on this. Good Luck and enjoy the flowers :)

[schsa]

Anyone who drives by your house twice a day is not normal. Be careful. She sounds like she is stalking you. Do you mention other friends and going out with them? And how does she react?

If she starts getting jealous of how you spend your time I would contact the police. You don't need her to become obsessed with you.

Be careful. She may be trying to buy your friendship. She may be just nice that way or she may end up being your worst nightmare.

[gonnascream]

can I say one thing ????

"SINGLE WHITE FEMALE"

[YankeeMary]

can I say one thing ????

"SINGLE WHITE FEMALE"
YIKES!!! Can you just simply come out and ask her whats up? Has she ever met your mate? I am trying real hard not to think she has a thing for you..lol...I guess I must just be naive??? LOL

[azwup05]

Please, take my advise. I have been going through this exact thing for the last 4 years. And finaly had a corporate psycologist itervene. He could only suggest to the co-worker to get some help, and give me directions on how to deal with this person and what would require further intervention. Casually but kindly set your boundaries with this person and start a file and record times and dates of her drive bys. Take pictures if you can. Keep everything she gives you. You are getting a gut feeling you shouldn't ignore. I did. Sit back and if it pro gresses do something. If not, and it was a misunderstand, toss the file. It is very difficult to prove stalking and harassment in some cases. If you need more info or want to just talk about it you can private message me.

[Donnagg123]

I know EXACTLY what you are going thru. I have had two "stalkers" over the past two years.

The first was female and she saw me at a restaurant. We used to be good friends when we were teens so she came up and started talking. Then she asked for my e-mail addy so I gave her my junk one (THANK GOD!).

She then starts telling me stuff like "I have been carrying your name around on a piece of paper for the last 10 years waiting to see you!" and then she said that she would go to that particular restaurant where she saw me EVERY DAY just to see if I was there and then she called me one time and I did NOT give her my phone number. :eek:

I finallly just told her that I was super busy and did not have time for friendship with anyone right now (which was a lie) but she left me alone.

The second was a guy where I go to school at. He is in the Nursing program with me. He was a real quiet nice guy but he would CONSTANTLY follow me and these two other girls (we are in a group together) around and just say asinine things and would just "pop out" from no where and would show up at places we did not tell him we would be at. (BTW he was married and everything too!)

At first I was kinda like you I thought it was annoying but did not think much about it. Then one day I caught him peeking at us in our school library! At first I kinda laughed it off....but then I got to thinking that it wasn't that funny. Serial killers like Ted Bundy started out by window peeking and such. So we told our teacher and she said we were not the first to say anything! :eek: My one friend said she was glad we said something because on her way out to her car she just naturally looked for him to pop out of nowhere 6 times! That was when she realized it was not natural!

Sorry so long but my whole point is if it makes you uncomfortable then that means something is wrong. Some people are just lonly and may never do anything, but why take a risk on waiting till they do? I would suggest trying to "dump her" in a polite way like I did with the one girl. HTH and GL! :)