BIG MIX UP... I hope

[suziebee20]

Jaime was taking AP English last term which is a flip-flop class to it goes all year (2 terms, each term is like a "quarter"). He failed his first quarter so this term he was put into a contract english class which is a simple easy class for people who are at risk of failing. Apperently his AP teacher called his mom at work and said he's not walkind, not graduating, and not getting a diploma since he's failing again this quarter (He said he's not doing the work because it's too hard yet doesn't bother going to tutorials.) I'm dissapointed in him for not trying, but he should still be on track for graduation because of his second english class. Grrrrrrrrrrr.... anyway his mom is sooooooo angry at him I guess she was screaming at him and called his father, emailed the teachers, etc... graduation is 2 days away and this really bites. His been crying non-stop and he's afraid of what will happen when his father gets home. (His mom was angry with him for not beind an honor grad... at least he went to high school unlike her). I keep trying to tell him it will be okay and he should still graduate but he kept snapping at me saying his mom is so angry and stuff...

Honestly I feel bad because part of me feels like it's his fault for not getting help. He failed his first quarter of AP because of his lack of doing work, which almost happened last year when we took AP english 6/7 together. The teachers offer all kinds of tutorial, but he doesn't bother to go (not only that, but his mom sometimes doesn't let him go because he has to watch his brothers...). His mom also told him he can't go to work tonight and made him call in sick. I have a bad feeling he's going to get fired soon because he has been having people cover his shifts due to certain things (senior things and family things) and he's only been working for about 3-4 weeks. He only works 20 hours as it is, and lately it's been less due to "cut-backs" so they tell him (yet the store is still hiring for the position he is in).

I dunno, I feel so horrible for him, but it's his fault you know... I kept trying to make sure he was caught up and doing his work like he asked me to until the day he snapped at me and said I'm always on his case and I was acting like his mother. So I backed off, and now he's on the peak of being stuck in high school for another year!

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Ya,it is his fault.You can't beat yourself up for something HE should have been doing.If the help is there,he should take advantage of it.As for calling in sick,yes he will more than likely get fired. Doesn't seem like his mama is too much of a help.

Sorry Suzie...but you need to worry about #1...YOU.


hugs sweety

[kelly12569]

((((((((((Suzie))))))))))

Yep, gotta agree.... worry about YOU....

seems like you have been trying to help and he doesnt listen so dont stress yourself over it hun. he will come around eventually or he will repeat his senior year. Either way, its HIS fault, NOT yours. Chin up hun and hey ...



YOU'RE GRADUATING SOON GIRL.... WOO HOO to YOU :D

[kriskay]

I have to agree with the others. You need to worry about yourself. He put himself into this position, he is going to have to deal with it. Keep focused on your graduation!!!!!!

[cpbaby]

My son failed 8th grade last year. He was tore up becuase he thought I could "fix" it and make themlet him graduate. Didnt happen. He didnt do the work, he didnt get to graduate from 8th grade. I told him that there are consequences and Momma wont always be there to "fix" things. I DID let him change schools because I saw no need of him going back to a school that waited till the day of graduation to tell me he was definately failing after I called every single day for a month asking.

What my ramblings mean(or what I hope they mean)is that while you worry(and its only natural to worry about people you love), they have to stand on their own two feet and take responsibility for their own actions. Anthony passed 8th grade this year with a B average. He found out he had to do the work, he couldnt coast through and he did it. I know you worry about him, but dont make yourself sick. Jamie got himself into this, he will have to be the one to get himself out.

[DivineMsDi]

When I was in 11th and 12th grade I took a lot of AP classes and they were not blow offs! They were very hard, precollege courses. Didn't Jaime know this? Obviously the teachers knew he was smart enough to get into them, and that means he is smart enough to pass them!

Many seniors goof off 12th grade and then wonder why they have problems last minute. I am sorry for your b/friend but he must have known months ago (when he was skipping classes) he'd have to pay the piper.

I'm afraid "just passing" is not enough in the world anymore...school is supposed to teach you responsibilty for a job or college, especially high school.

Maybe this is a harsh lesson for everyone involved. Sometime there is no quick fix to problems. You have to work for your goals...I am not trying to sound like an old fuddy duddy..maybe he can make it up somehow??? Good luck to all....(PS I have a nephew in 11th who just failed 3 subjects....)

[Kelsey1224]

Suzie...I'm with everyone else on this one... There is no mix-up. You b/f didn't do the work so he doesn't deserve to graduate with everyone else.

I also took A/P classes in high school (in the dark ages) and they were classes which gave your college credit. They were hard and they were lots of work! He wouldn't have been even allowed in an A/P class if he wasn't capable of doing the work.

So...instead...he's put in a much easier class and still doesn't do the work! He has no one to blame but himself! It is a very hard lesson...but it's a lesson nonetheless.

You...on the other hand...have done the work and you have worked hard! CONGRATULATIONS! Good luck in your future endeavors!

[VALENA-)45]

suziebee20~all i read was your post, not the replies. sorry, y'all. when it comes to boys and men, always remember this. "A hard head makes a soft behind. A man never want to hear nothing right from a woman, until his but gets into a sling (trouble), and then he wants to hear what you have to say to get his but out of that sling (trouble)". Congratulations on your graduation, you have done a great job. Keep up the good work.!!!!!!

[schsa]

I have to agree with everyone else. He has to do the work and he knows what his responsibilities are. He made his choices and he isn't going to graduate because of them. He could have gone to tutorials if he wanted. He could have asked for help. He could have done alot of things but as it appears right now, he failed and will probably end up in summer school if they offer it. And he won't have a job because no one is going to keep someone who doesn't show up for work.

[suziebee20]

It was a mix up. Turns out Mr. Johnson, his AP teacher wasn't aware he had another english class. So because he is passing his other english class it meets his requirement. Everythings fine and he's on track for graduation. Today was our last day. :eek: Tomorrow is the big day!

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Glad he's on track for graduation.Be proud of yourselves...you would be surprised how many kids don't think a HS diploma is important.


Glad it was a mix up :)

[mom2cvam]

Glad to hear things are straightened out for him. That has to be a big relief for both of you. ;) Congrats on graduating!! :D

[suziebee20]

He said last night when his dad got home his dad stormed in his room told him how angry he was and said "your working with me Monday." He worked with his dad last summer and did manual labor (his dad is an electrician) everyday in the hot San Diego sun for 8-10 hours, sometimes having to wake up at 4 AM. He kept telling me how bad he hated it but his parents made him. I guess his dad said if he doesn't get more hours at Target Jaime has to work with him again this summer too. Is it just me, or does anyone else see something wrong with this? Last year his mom took everyone of his paychecks. She also took his first $200 Target paycheck and said it was for all his "senior year expenses." The only reason that I, and he, can logically see as to why his parents would care how many hours he works and how much he makes is because they want his paychecks again. I feel so bad for him because he wants to save up for things and his parents take his money and say it's for bills and such and then they go to the casino until 4 in the morning leaving his with his brothers. He's 5 months from his 18th birthday and he has almost no independence. I guess his aunt is moving in with them, because she's having marital problems, and getting his room (which he's only had for 4 months or so) and he has to move back into his brothers room which is real small, not to mention his brothers destroy everything. Safe place to keep college books and stuff and a very nice place to study. *sigh* I'm going so off topic, but I needed to get that out!

[LuvBigRip]

He needs to open a bank account, and have his paycheck direct deposited in there.

[Shann]

I agree about him opening up a bank acct and direct deposit. He should also look into getting out of there as soon as he turns 18. I couldn't imagine my parents taking MY money and paychecks like that. I hope things go better for him and he's learned a lesson about slacking off he can use when he goes to college.

[Kelsey1224]

I'm glad that it was a mix-up. Those of us who panned him for not doing his work were obviously wrong. I'm glad he is graduating.

As for his working...well...technically, his parents are still supporting him and paying his bills and are entitled to his money. However, their actions do seem rather harsh to me.

When my kids lived at home and worked, I required that they paid 'rent' to me. However, they still had money left over afterward. The rent hardly covered their expenses, but was instead set up so that they would get into the habit of paying bills timely. I didn't think it was right for them to just have lots of discretionary money and not contribute to the household.

This doesn't seem to be the situation though. In thinking back on your various previous posts, it appears as if Jaime's parents are quite controlling. He is going to have to decide if he wants out when he is 18.

This is just a question to everyone else on the board. Do you have to wait until you are 18 to move out? I hear about people all the time who left their parent's homes while technically underage. Some of those people are members of this board.

What are the ramifications of moving out without your parent's permission if you are not 18 years old?

[Tasha405]

Congrats on the both of you getting to graduate! If I were him I would do what the other have said, open a checking account with direct deposit. That way his money goes straight to the bank. I could see if maybe they were putting up money for him for college or getting his own place but not to go to a casino. Anyway, congrats again and I hope you have a great time tonorrow! :D

[twinkiesmom]

glad he's gonna get to graduate. As far as the paycheck thing, that's tough. I think the parents are a little too grabby for his money, although I think if they wanted $20 a week for expenses, they are entitled to it. But it sounds like he does his time at home too . . . . babysitting. I could see if he was over 18 and they wanted big rent but technically he's still required to be under their roof. But it isn't right that they take all his earnings.

[Tracy'sMom]

Since He is so close to His 18th birthday. He could leave right now and there is not nothing they could do about it. That is how it is where I live. I did that, I worked hard for my money sometimes till 12 or 1:00 in the morning, My parents would also take my paycheck. I bought a car and my dad took it and drove it while I paid for it.
I meet my hubby and He had connections with the local police department, they told me I could leave at 17 and them not be able to bring me back, I just had to leave a note if they werent home when I left stating I wasnt kidnapped that I left on my own free will. Well Hubby helped me and I did it. I left a note and that is what covered my butt. My dad reported me as missing and old them hubby then boyfriend kidnapped me. Anyways, they came and talked to me to make sure I wasnt kidnapped and then everything was fine. The police told my parents that I was to old to be brought home.
We also just in Dec. went thru this with my sister. She left by my help and then Mom and Dad was gonna have her brought back but the police said they couldnt cause she was 17 and would turn 18 in Jan.
So if He is serious about moving out then check with the local police they will tell You what You can do.
I wish You both the best in Your lives. Congrats to the both of You on Graduating.

[justme23]

I'm fairly certain once you graduate high school that you can 'leave home'. It may not be what he has in mind... but tell him to apply to a local college that provides housing and try to get enough financial aid so he can live on campus. Or ask your parents if he can sleep on your couch.

Glad you both got to graduate!

[deb_gar]

as for the bank account with the direct deposit, around here you have to be 18 or over to get an account in just your name, that's without a parents name on the account also. So even if he had his checks direct deposited, the parent who's name is on the account could withdraw it all.
And, as far as I know, a teenager can leave at any time and the police are not required to bring them back. It is not illegal to run away anymore. Which really stinks for parents who are trying to do the right thing. Their kid can leave and they can't make them come back, but they are legally responsible for their actions.