KIDS! Why can't parents teach them some manners?

[momfromTN]

I just dropped off my 5 yr old at his preschool. As I was leaving, I saw this kid, looked about 6th grad or so, yelling at this teacher who had a line of small kids going back to thier classroom from breakfast. Apparently, he and his buddy didn't like waiting for the line to pass. Tough crap. Sometimes you have to wait. Anyway, he was yelling at her and cussed and thats when I had absolutely HAD it. I told him to shut his filthly mouth and and the teacher asked him if he spoke to his mother like that. He said YES. I said, well then, THERE is the problem. The teacher thanked me and I left. If I had EVER spoken to an adult like that kid had, and my mom found out, oh BOY! I would not be sitting for a week and would have been made to apologize.

I don't care if anyone thinks I was out of line or not. I WILL NOT listen to a CHILD berate an ADULT like that and not say anything. And it is just not this one kid. I have heard child after child talk to adults like they are their peers or lower than dirt. What the HECK is going on? Too much entitlement and "rights", I am guessing. Not enough parenting? Any ideas? I am just SO mad right now. God bless the public school teachers and workers. They have probably the TOUGHEST job around.

This is the same school where my autistic son was laughed at and made fun of right in front of me. This is unacceptable and unbelievable. Maybe some old fashioned butt whuppins would do 'em some good.

[buttrfli]

Parents just don't care anymore. I am the same as you, if I had ever spoke like that to an adult and my mom found out... I'd still be sore to this day. If my kids ever talk to an adult like that, they would get the same thing.

Parents do not teach their kids respect anymore.

[freeby4me]

That child needed to be taken out back behind a woodshed. I can guarentee a couple of times back there and he sure wouldnt be mouthing back. Oh but wait, That would be "Child abuse" Gosh forbid someone actually teach a child a lesson about disapline and manners. :rolleyes:

[momfromTN]

I went to Catholic school. What the public schools need are some old, mean nuns to whup up on those rude kids.

[msmom79]

I Agree With All Of You,my A$$ Would Have Been Sore For A Month,let Alone A Week.kids Can Get Away With This Nowdays ,cause A Spanking Is Considered Child Abuse Now,whats It Gonna Be Like When They Are Adults!! My Two Sons Have Respect For Their Elders,but Not For Me.all Kids Think This Behavior Is Acceptable,and It Is Not!! God Said Spare The Rod ,spoil The Child. I Believe They Have Butts For A Reason,a Good Spake Would Put An End To Alot Of This Crap.jmo

[momfromTN]

I Agree With All Of You,my A$$ Would Have Been Sore For A Month,let Alone A Week.kids Can Get Away With This Nowdays ,cause A Spanking Is Considered Child Abuse Now,whats It Gonna Be Like When They Are Adults!! My Two Sons Have Respect For Their Elders,but Not For Me.all Kids Think This Behavior Is Acceptable,and It Is Not!! God Said Spare The Rod ,spoil The Child. I Believe They Have Butts For A Reason,a Good Spake Would Put An End To Alot Of This Crap.jmo


Check your state laws. In most places in the US, CPS is full of crap when they tell you spanking is illegal or child abuse. My MIL spanked all 12 of hers and not a bum or criminal in the bunch. Says something, doesn't it? I spank my sons when needed. I do not put up with mouth~I don't have to. And if people don't like it, they can lump it. Something has GOT to give. I have a nephew, whom my mom raises (long story). He has been in trouble repeatedly and she finally got fed up with it and tried to have him put into a hospital to get help. Do you know they let him out after a week? He has these "rights" you know. Well, what about my MOM's RIGHTS? What about PARENT's RIGHTS? If you are 16 and in a residential facility, you can sign yourself out, but your parents are still responsible for you. I say, give the kids all these rights, they can have them, all right! They ALSO can have the dang "RIGHT" to get a job and support themselves too.

Look, I know kids are not property and you shouldn't abuse them. But I think the law is WAAAAAAy too much on the parents and not helping at all.

[schsa]

And these are the same parents that never show for a parent/teacher conference. They are the same parents that don't understand why their child is out of control by age 11. They are also the parents who use this sort of language in front of their children and the kids think that it's ok if they use the same words because at age 3 their parents would laugh when they said ****.

This is the kid that by 16 will be out of high school and in JD because he was never taught respect for others, good manners or anything that helps a child move through society and get along with others. And his parents will blame the school system for how he turned out.

[Kelsey1224]

This post is a sad commentary of how child rearing has degressed. We have a friend whose son and DIL had a little boy a year ago. Our friend was recently told that they don't use the "no" word with their little boy because it teaches him negativity. Instead they say things like, "Mommy isn't happy when you do that" or "I would prefer that you do something else..."

Because our friend wants to be able to see her grandson...she wisely kept her mouth shut. I think she is a better woman than I because I would have probably said that "No" teaches them boundaries as well as who is in charge!

[DivineMsDi]

I think it is good you stepped and said something. Teachers have to walk a fine line in what they say to the kids (those parents who think it's funny that little bratty says *&*** are the first ones down the school ready to rip the teacher's head off).

I agree kids today are rude and brazen. They don't seem to fear or respect any authority once they get a certain age.

I also went to Catholic school for 6 years and boy, I am still scared of nuns/priests and all that jazz.

[freeby4me]

Seems to me that for how many of hundreds of years has the word NO been used? It obviously has to do something cause the Human Generation is still around (Somehow LOL)

[zitra]

This post is a sad commentary of how child rearing has degressed. We have a friend whose son and DIL had a little boy a year ago. Our friend was recently told that they don't use the "no" word with their little boy because it teaches him negativity. Instead they say things like, "Mommy isn't happy when you do that" or "I would prefer that you do something else..."

Because our friend wants to be able to see her grandson...she wisely kept her mouth shut. I think she is a better woman than I because I would have probably said that "No" teaches them boundaries as well as who is in charge!

I think that's ridiculous, but it is how alot of people feel nowadays, especially younger parents..I am not *old* I am 31, but have always used spanking(smacking on bottom~with hand)/smacking hands when they touched something they KNEW (had been told repeatedly) they shouldn't. Years ago, when my now 10 year old was about 2, my MIL's parents came up from Texas. While we were at MIL's house when my son touched something (like her crystal vase) I smacked his hand (not real hard) and told him no..later after her parents has left my MIL told me her dad was VERY impressed, that I had done that, I guess, becuase his other DD, who I beleive is 6/7 years older than me, doesn't spank (her kids are alot louder/more unruly~not really bad, but you can tell the difference..when my kids go to the inlaws they sit, no raised voices~they know you don't yell/run/jump around in someone's home..but her kids on the other hand don't know the difference between and inside and outside voice, run/ jump, and carry on inside, as if it were outside, or a play ground...They really don't do it to be brats or anything, it's just how they act at home, and were never told it was wrong to do so, so they keep on doing it..My MIL, and her parents never say anythign about it, becuase they are beleiver's in they are not the parent, so they really don't have any say on how their kids, or other relatives raise their kids.) I do know if ANY friend or relative of mine ever made a comment about my using corporal punishment, they would get an earful...

[zitra]

This post is a sad commentary of how child rearing has degressed. We have a friend whose son and DIL had a little boy a year ago. Our friend was recently told that they don't use the "no" word with their little boy because it teaches him negativity. Instead they say things like, "Mommy isn't happy when you do that" or "I would prefer that you do something else..."

Because our friend wants to be able to see her grandson...she wisely kept her mouth shut. I think she is a better woman than I because I would have probably said that "No" teaches them boundaries as well as who is in charge!

Wanted to comment on somethign similar.. I was reading a Dear Abby column not to long ago..a grandmother, was upset and asked what she should do, becuase her DIL tells her grandson to "shut up" (if he was being loud/yelling) , and thought it was JUST wrong, and had told her DIL that, and was SURPRISED when the DIL told her off... I was shocked after reading this..If my kids sya something they shouldn't/are in the house and keep yelling, etc. at first I would tell them to be quiet, but if they kept up, damn straight I would and have told them to SHUT UP! or said will you PLEASE SHUT UP! Once my older son, said, why are you so polite? I asked what he meant..he said when we are too loud, and don't quiet down, you always say "will you please shut up" LOL! I said "because I'm nice dangit" LOL!

I can't stand when people say "you can't tell a child to be quiet/shut up/can't tell them no, you will take away their self confidence..Waht if your child is playign with the stove, you don't tell him know, and her gets burned/hurt or even dies becuase he was burned so badly, or you can't tell them NO don't play in the street, and they get hit, would you rather the child be injured or dead???? People like that never see the big picture..

Wanted to add that there are some schools that have abolished grades altogether, becuase a bad grade may "shatter" a child's self esteem...

[momfromTN]

This post is a sad commentary of how child rearing has degressed. We have a friend whose son and DIL had a little boy a year ago. Our friend was recently told that they don't use the "no" word with their little boy because it teaches him negativity. Instead they say things like, "Mommy isn't happy when you do that" or "I would prefer that you do something else..."

Because our friend wants to be able to see her grandson...she wisely kept her mouth shut. I think she is a better woman than I because I would have probably said that "No" teaches them boundaries as well as who is in charge!

Your friend is wise. But her DIL and son make me want to retch.

[CatrinaF25]

i think this is sad because it IS the mothers fault. I DONT believe the child should get spanked if the parent TAUGHT the child this. he/she is only doing what taught. whta does need to happen is dhs or someone needs to look at this month and speak to her about why she allows her child to do this. after explaining to the child this is not accepted and they do it again( the parent explaining) then Yes a spankin but not a beating.

[momfromTN]

i think this is sad because it IS the mothers fault. I DONT believe the child should get spanked if the parent TAUGHT the child this. he/she is only doing what taught. whta does need to happen is dhs or someone needs to look at this month and speak to her about why she allows her child to do this. after explaining to the child this is not accepted and they do it again( the parent explaining) then Yes a spankin but not a beating.

Well, considering the schools cannot spank for some odd reason, that wouldn't happen anyway. I do agree that his mother and father need to be brought in and talked with about the problem. No one I know of beats their child. Spankings and real beatings are 2 different things. We might joke like "she needs a beatin', yessir!", but it is not meant literally.

[zitra]

i think this is sad because it IS the mothers fault. I DONT believe the child should get spanked if the parent TAUGHT the child this. he/she is only doing what taught. whta does need to happen is dhs or someone needs to look at this month and speak to her about why she allows her child to do this. after explaining to the child this is not accepted and they do it again( the parent explaining) then Yes a spankin but not a beating.

First off it could just as well be the father's fault...Secondly I know MANY kids (from when I was in school, and even now as an adult) who do not misbehave at home, yet act out in school, and while among friends, to seem "cool" when a child disrespects adults or authority, it doesn't ALWAYS mean it's the parents fault..it most always is a learned trait, yes, but I have seen it more often than not, that it is learned from peers, television, and movies, than parents..Yes there are some parents that don't teach manners, but it isn't ALWAYS the case in these situations. I had many friend's and aquantiences in Jr. High/High school, and even around 6th grade that wouldn't dare cuss, or be rude in front of their parents, for fear that their heads would be smacked off of their bodies (not literally~but they probably wouldn't be sitting for a really long time), but these same kids would swear like sailors (and even some would smoke) when their parents weren't around.


It is also partially the schools fault, (if..and I know SOME schools do this) if they (the school or teacher) don't contact the parent when this is goign on..They do their "in school" discipline of losing a recess, or "time out", but don't contact the parents..In these cases parents CAN'T rectify the situation if they don't know about it... (I know this isn't the case everywhere, but I do know of at least a few school..thank God, not my son's, that are like this).

[justinenycole26]

We have a friend whose son and DIL had a little boy a year ago. Our friend was recently told that they don't use the "no" word with their little boy because it teaches him negativity. Instead they say things like, "Mommy isn't happy when you do that" or "I would prefer that you do something else..."


UGH! You've GOT to be kidding!

I agree with MomfromTN, state laws vary, but DFS is NOT going to come snatch your child because you spank them. The stories that people hear are grossly exaggerated, people want to save face by saying "they took my kids because I spanked them once in the store" rather than telling the whole truth and admitting fault. I do not give a whoop who is around, if my kids are acting up and a warning has gone unheeded, we are heading to the bathroom or to the car for a spanking.

But you know, it is VERY rare that my kids need to be spanked. They know that when they are told to do something, they do it or there will be consequences. They know that if they are told to stop, they better stop. And if the time comes that they need spanked, they are going to be spanked plain and simple. If your kids are being raised with love and discipline spankings are not going to have to happen very much. But they still know that they will get spanked if they are out of line.

[Azriel_LittleHawk]

WHAT THE HELL? ok.. i actualy had a lot written ..and decided to scrap it. there is not a damned thing wrong with bustin a kids ass once in a while. i agree with alot of you.. (MOMfrom TN!!) *L* i realy do not like how the older kids was acting. as my ADHD child tends to pick up o n the negative behaviours VERY easily. so *APPLAUDING * you for getting in that kids face. ah ..any way..
take care y'all!
Az

PS: Sons new meds are DA BOMB!!!! working so well it's unreal!!

[CatrinaF25]

First I didnt say anything was wrong with spankings .. :)
YES there is something wrong with a BEATING . there is a diffrance between beating and spanking. Beating IS ABUSE
and if the child learned this from their parents(mom or dad or whom ever raises them) then they need to be taught its wrong before a spanking.