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View Full Version : I need some help guys



twinfawn
05-03-2004, 07:47 PM
I know that I don't post very often, but I read the boards all the time....My 18 year old niece is 18 and already graduated from school, early at that......Anyways she is pregnant, and is being shunned by the whole family and is being told that unless she has an abortion that they don't want anything else to do with her....She is really a good kid that just got messed up with the wrong guy, He is totally out of her life now, but she really doesn't want to have an abortion so I am standing beside her.....and so she now lives with me....Lastnight her mom and her grandmother (my mom) wrote her the most awful letter that I have ever read and she was up crying all night long, and this morning when I got up she was gone and was heading to live with Youth services....She said she doesn't want to cause trouble for my family, We don't care about any of the B.S..... and I tried to tell her that lastnight, but I guess it didn't work...Anyways I did get her back here, but I don't know for how long.....I am just sick that my sister and my mom would write the things that they did to her just because she won't get an abortion for them......She is 10 weeks pregnant already and hasn't even been to the doctor yet, I had to get her on Medicaid, and so her appt is tomorrow....How can anyone treat so fless and blood so horrible.....She also starts to work at a DayCare tomorrow so she will learn how to deal with kids.....I am just so proud of her for trying so hard to do the right thing and don't understand how family can treat one of your own that way..............:( sorry for being so long.......

catssass
05-03-2004, 08:08 PM
She is very lucky to have your support, everyone makes mistakes...its how you deal with them that shows your character...You should tell her to do her best and to show them that she is better than they are..I'll say a prayer that everything turns out the way she wants them to...

ahippiechic
05-03-2004, 08:12 PM
That's sad. At least she has you to turn to. Keeping you both in my thoughts.

buttrfli
05-03-2004, 08:13 PM
She is very lucky to have your support, everyone makes mistakes...its how you deal with them that shows your character...You should tell her to do her best and to show them that she is better than they are..I'll say a prayer that everything turns out the way she wants them to...

I could not have sait it better myself!

You are a much better person for sticking by her. It will pay off no matter what the rest of your family thinks.

twinfawn
05-03-2004, 08:20 PM
Thanks guys, it really helps to hear positive thoughts right now....I am going to show them all the her and i am sure they will make her feel better...............:)

MtyAphrdti
05-03-2004, 08:35 PM
I've known many women in her position and I am pro-choice, but I think that she is doing the right thing....the mature thing....her mom and grandma are the ones acting like children about this. MANY women (including my mother) took her route and decided to keep the child and the children flourished and while at times I'm sure it was difficult for her, no one said parenting was easy. My mother went to and finished college and still had an active social life and I think she was the best in the world. I'm so glad that she kept me and I'm sure her child will be grateful to her too!

AngelGrim
05-03-2004, 08:36 PM
If her mom and grandmother won't stand by her and are treating her cruely then they are the ones that are doing something wrong, not her, she is trying to prepare for a new life to come into the world, what they need to realize is what is done is done and they should not make her think that they don't love her because she won't do what they want. I would not let them get to her and would tell them that instead of tearing her down they need to build her up, the mother should reflect on herself as she raised her, so it was her influence that is guiding the girl now, don't ya think? I feel so badly for her that it isn't funny, please let her know that we care. And give her a hug for us.
Bless you for standing up for her.

kriskay
05-03-2004, 08:42 PM
Just know that she is making the right decision for herself. And noone else can make that decision for her. And keep standing by her and you are right.

suziebee20
05-03-2004, 09:07 PM
That's terrible that they would do something like that to her. I applaud you for giving her the support she needs at a time like this whens he needs it most.

Adding: Maybe they will come around. Once the baby is born they may fall in love with him or her and realize just how horrible they were acting.

If she ever wants to talk to someone, support or just for fun, feel free to PM me for my email addy.

jcw
05-03-2004, 09:10 PM
Glad she has you to help her out. No one should tell her what to do about the baby. It's her choice. Don't they realize how precious that baby will be? They need to back off the bullchit and love her and the baby.

VALENA-)45
05-03-2004, 10:33 PM
ITA, everybody is telling you right. btdt, 3 times. you keep standing by her, your both doing the right thing. the rest of the family will come around in time, their just in shock, they didn't mean the things they wrote, give them some time they'll be alright. y'all just keep doing what your doing now, and everything will be fine. good luck.

Unicornmom77
05-03-2004, 11:10 PM
I will pray for ya'll!! I wish I had some advice. Hang in there!!

Shann
05-03-2004, 11:39 PM
That's so sad that her family is treating her like that. I agree, every one makes mistakes and it seems that she is dealing with this situation very well. What a good aunt you are for helping her through this tough time. I hope things get better for her. How is she taking the news? My thoughts are with her.

HumblePie98
05-04-2004, 04:46 AM
I was pregnant when I was 19. I can remember to this day how my mother acted toward me at first. And I wasn't even living at home. But toward the end she did get excited. Mom had me a baby shower, was there when he was born, she gave me any advice I needed.

I am sorry for you. Hopefully she will come around!! If not, what else could your sister need more than you?

momfromTN
05-04-2004, 05:17 AM
I am glad you are there for her! If she is unsure of what she wants to do , direct her to any crisis pregnancy center. That way she can get counseling and decide whether she wants to keep or adopt out the child. I think her family is behaving horribly.

I am a BIG adoption advocate, as most of you on here know, BUT, to treat someone like that and write them scummy letters is the worst. It will come back to bite them in the butt.

Angelseyes28
05-04-2004, 06:13 AM
Good grief, what ever happened to unconditional love when it comes to your kids?!
You are definately the only saving grace for your neice. I commend you for what you are doing. I think any parent/grandparent that shuns their kids/grandkids for ANY reason should be hung out to dry :mad:

schsa
05-04-2004, 06:56 AM
It's too bad that her mother and sister are so ashamed of her that they would write to her and tell her so. She is old enough to make her own choices. However she isn't old enough to know that adults do cruel things just to get their way.

Good for her and good for you. Be sure she understands that they are wrong and she is right. Get her on Medicaid and do what you can for her. Once she gets through the first trimester, you can think about shopping at second hand stores and garage sales for baby clothes and furniture.

I wish her a very safe pregnancy. :)

Urban Cowgirl
05-04-2004, 07:12 AM
Good grief, what ever happened to unconditional love when it comes to your kids?!
You are definately the only saving grace for your neice. I commend you for what you are doing. I think any parent/grandparent that shuns their kids/grandkids for ANY reason should be hung out to dry :mad:


My thoughts exactly. My goodness its not like she is a murderer or molester or something. She got pregnant.....she is going to have a beautiful baby......is that really THAT terrible? A baby is the most beautiful gift god gives us.

llbriteyes
05-04-2004, 08:27 AM
How awful for her. :( Its a shame her family is treating her like that, but you're doing the right thing. I cannot comprehend that they want to FORCE her to make that decision. Her pregnancy should be the least stressful it can be. You're a very good aunt.

Linda

Vanilla
05-04-2004, 09:24 AM
Your niece is learning a difficult lesson at a young age--that the people we care about most, sometimes hurt us the most. That baby is a gift from God! Everything happens for a reason....this situation will make your niece stronger. I am pro-life. There are many women out there who cannot have children. I wish your niece the best. You are an angel for helping her!