please help me, I am so sad

[withnohalo]

Hey everyone. I am having troubles at home. For all of my friends out there, you all know I am married to a controlling, emotional abusive man ( 5 years). He has been telling me he wants me to leave because I am a leech that is sucking his money. (He won't allow me to work) He gets mad everytime I go grocery shopping. Anything I buy for myself is from money my parents have sent me.
I know I need to go before things get worse but I am not leaving our two little ones. (3 years old and 1 year old). The problem is that I am an American and he is Canadian. We are living in Canada. He is telling me that I cannot leave the country with the boys without his consent and he will not give it. He has said in the past that he would hunt me down and kill me if I did take the boys. I have a job and family waiting in WVa. Here I could never make it on my own because there would be no help with the boys. I have tried to do a search to find out my legal rights but have not found anything of use. Has anyone went through this? Do you know of any sites with any info on my rights? Any comments are appreciated.
I am so down right now. He stopped wearing his wedding ring to work. I feel so lost and alone.

[ladyseals]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I don't know anything about rights or anything like that. However, I do know about abuse and understand pain. (((Hugs))) I will be praying for you and I hope you can get the answers you need.

[DivineMsDi]

Oh my...well, first off...hugs to you.

I am not a lawyer. I wonder if you can contact the American consulate(spelling) in Canada or in your providence...They may be able to get you some advice.

Good luck. I hope for your sake, and for your kids you can work something out.

[JKATHERINE]

Oh my gosh! I only wish I had some sound advice for you or information to pass along! I think it's great though, that you recognize the need to leave that situation. I'm sure it is difficult. Hopefully there is a way you can find to take your babies with you!!

[schsa]

Call the American Embassey and ask what your rights are. Personally, I would take my kids and go regardless of what he says. Then he can fight with the US courts to try and get custody after the divorce. He has no rights as long as the two of you are married. You both have equal custody of your children. You can take them home to see your family and you don't have to come back.

I would pack up one day after he leaves for work and go home. Let him see how far he gets when he is having to go to another country to get custody.

[Tasha405]

Oh sweetie I have no idea about stuff like that but I hope you get the help you need and can get back to your family in WV. {{{Hugs}}}

I'm going to PM you.

[buttrfli]

first of all {{{hugs}}} to you! :(

if there a domestic voilenceshelter around you that you can call and get advice?
I agree with the advice DivineMsDi gave you... I'd be getting my kids out of there if I were you.

[woleys]

I don't know what your rights would be.........but I hope you get you and your babies out of that sitution soon. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} I would contact a lawyer and see what your rights are or maybe contact a human rights department.......not for sure if they have those there or not...but if so they may be able to help you.

[jaybird]

Children born in Canada to an American hold dual citizenship, right?

I think Schsa has the best advice, if you can't get any information from the American embassy/consulate.

If he has ever threatened you or the children, or physically hurt you, be certain to tell them that. Along with the threat to kill you if you ever took the children and left. And start documenting things.

[MsLynn]

here is a law firm in toronto that will give you a free online consultation, you fill in the info and ask them what you need to.

http://www.familylawtoronto.ca/consultation.html

[DivineMsDi]

Maybe this will help you:

http://travel.state.gov/overseas_citizens.html
http://travel.state.gov/acs.html#marriage

[DivineMsDi]

or this:
http://www.state.gov/

[lassss]

Definetly seek an attorney. They can give you the best advice and it should be a free consultation..even if it is not it is still worth it. Were the boys born in Canada or the US? Do you have dual citizenship? I dunno what the laws are concerning giving birth in another country but I would assume since you American, they would be as well. Keep us informed and good luck to you

[lassss]

This might help as well: http://uscis.gov/graphics/publicaffairs/factsheets/chowto.htm

Child Citizenship Act

How to Get a Certificate of Citizenship for Your Child

The Child Citizenship Act (CCA) which becomes effective on February 27, 2001, amends the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) to provide U.S. citizenship to certain foreign-born children—including adopted children—of U.S. citizens. In general, children who are less than 18 years of age and have at least one parent who is a U.S. citizen whether by birth or naturalization-will benefit from this new law. Under the law, qualifying children who immigrate to the United States with a U.S. citizen parent automatically acquire U.S. citizenship; children who live abroad acquire citizenship by application.

INS will work with Congress, the adoption community and other stakeholders to re-engineer and streamline the current process for obtaining a Certificate of Citizenship for a child. However, if you wish to obtain a Certificate of Citizenship for your child at this time, the process is explained below. In addition, you may obtain a passport for your child from the Department of State.

What forms do I file and what are the fees?

If you are want a Certificate of Citizenship for a biological child, you file Form N-600, Application for Certificate of Citizenship with a $160 fee ; or
If you want a Certificate of Citizenship for an adopted child, you file Form N-643, Application for Certificate of Citizenship in Behalf of an Adopted Child with a $125 fee; or
If you are applying for a Certificate of Citizenship for a biological or adopted child who currently lives outside the United States, you may also need to file Form N-600/N-643, Supplement A, Application for Acquisition of Citizenship Through a Grandparent, with the Form N-600 or Form N-643. There is no additional fee for this supplement.
I am filing for a foreign born biological child who lives in the United States. What documents do I have to submit with the form?

For children who have immigrated to the United States, parents will not be required to submit any evidence that is already contained in the INS file, including translations of documents.

If your child has immigrated to the United States (has a "green card"), you should submit:

Photographs of your child
Fee
I am filing for a foreign born adopted child who lives in the United States. What documents do I have to submit with the form?

For children who have immigrated to the United States, parents will not be required to submit any evidence that is already contained in the INS file, including translations of documents.

If your child has immigrated to the United States (has a "green card") after a full and final adoption abroad, you should submit:

Photographs of your child
Fee
If your child has immigrated to the United States (has a "green card") to be adopted or re-adopted, you must submit:

Photographs of your child
Fee
Evidence of a full final adoption
Evidence of all legal name changes (if applicable)
I am filing for a child who lives abroad. What documents do I have to submit with the form?

If your child has not immigrated to the United States (does not have a "green card"), you should submit:

Photographs of your child,
Fee,
Your child’s birth certificate,
Your birth certificate or naturalization certificate,
Your marriage certificate (if applicable),
Evidence of termination of previous marriages (if applicable),
Evidence of a full and final adoption (if applicable),
Evidence of all legal name changes (if applicable), and
Form N-600/N643 Supplement A (if applicable).
I am filing for a child who lives abroad. How do I know if I need to file the Form N-600/N-643, Supplement A?

Under the Child Citizenship Act, the U.S. citizen parent of a child living abroad must have five years of physical presence in the United States or its outlying possessions with at least two years occurring after age 14, in order to apply for citizenship on behalf of the child. If you cannot meet this requirement, the law allows you to rely on the physical presence of your citizen parent to apply for citizenship. If you are relying on the physical presence of your U.S. citizen parent, you must file the Form N-600/N-643, Supplement A.

Where Should I File the Forms?

If you are filing for a child who lives in the United States, file the Form N-600 or N-643 at the INS district office or suboffice in the United States with jurisdiction over your place of residence.

If filing for a child, who lives abroad, you may file the Form N-600 or N-643 at any INS district office or suboffice in the United States. You and your child will need to travel to the United States to complete this application process.

What Resources Are Available to Answer Questions About the New Law?

For more information about the CCA application procedures and forms, you may go to the INS Web site at www.ins.usdoj.gov or contact our National Customer Service Center at 1-800-375-5283. INS has also made available field guidance and public materials to all information officers and other front line staff to aid them in answering questions.

– INS –



Last Modified 02/20/2003

[sahmsfreeb]

children born to american citizens are automatically american citizens...
i am assuming then that your children have dual citizenship....
canadian laws are close to ours...

crossing the border only requires a birth certificate for all involved... our border with canada is an open one....
all they ask is your reason for entering the us... you say visitng family... TRUTH...




then when you get her get a lawer who deals with divorce and spouses from a different country....

be prepared for your children to spend summers with him in canada....

and work on getting a restraining order against him here....




prayers your way....... good luck and godspeed....

[usascs]

Try these there all for canada

The National Clearinghouse on Family Violence (NCFV) is a national resource centre for all Canadians seeking information about violence within the family and looking for new resources being used to address it. By sharing the latest research findings and information on all aspects of prevention, protection and treatment, the Clearinghouse seeks to help Canadian communities work toward the eventual elimination of all forms of family violence.
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hppb/familyviolence/

Atira provides safe refuge for women and their children who are experiencing the impact of violence committed against them by their intimate partners
http://www.vcn.bc.ca/atira/

Family Transition Place provides safe shelter, support and counseling to abused women and their children in Orangeville, Ontario
http://www.headwaters.com/ftp/

An excellent compilation of links to resources on the Web, many of which are in Canada. All sites have been reviewed by Sympatico
http://www.ntl.sympatico.ca/healthyway/LISTS/B12-C01_all1.html

BWSS provides free support services and educational workshops for all women who are or have been in an abusive, intimate relationship as an adult
http://www.bwss.org/

[texasgander]

get out of there now! and write down everything he has said and the date....your children would not necessarily have to spend summers with him in Canada if you can prove he has violent tendancies.......you could get it in the divorce papers that he cannot have unsupervised visitation..........stand firm and stand up for yourself and your kids!!!!!!

[Unicornmom77]

I AM PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS HUN!!!

I also Pmed you

[menanamama]

Hey everyone. I am having troubles at home. For all of my friends out there, you all know I am married to a controlling, emotional abusive man ( 5 years). He has been telling me he wants me to leave because I am a leech that is sucking his money. (He won't allow me to work) He gets mad everytime I go grocery shopping. Anything I buy for myself is from money my parents have sent me.
I know I need to go before things get worse but I am not leaving our two little ones. (3 years old and 1 year old). The problem is that I am an American and he is Canadian. We are living in Canada. He is telling me that I cannot leave the country with the boys without his consent and he will not give it. He has said in the past that he would hunt me down and kill me if I did take the boys.
sound like me...except i am in the us. you could be charged with kidnapping. but...call the american embassy...they can point you in the right direction and you could get things started to avoid that problem. i would call a domestic abuse hotline in canada. get a po box to receive mail and hide the key where he can not find it. pm me and i can help you out.

[tsquared]

I am not as smart as all these posters previous to me, but i want you to know you are never alone as long as BBS is not down for work!!! Any of us here would be glad to offer help any way we can...........

[mamalamas]

Children born in Canada to an American hold dual citizenship, right?


This is what I was thinking as well. I was in a situation where my ex was threatening to kill me ~~ and emotionally it is very hurtful! Let your family help you, and it will be hard at first, but you can do it and we will all help you! Keep us posted on what is going on!

[Bick'sMom]

...

[Char]

He stopped wearing his wedding ring to work.

Maybe you will get lucky and he will meet some one else and forget about making your life hell. :( Do you really think he would come looking for you ? I mean, could just be threats... this is WV, I would arm myself and dare him to come looking for me... but, that's me. Ya never know, he may just be glad you are gone if you go... I would call his bluff, but, never, ever let someone intimidate you.
I know I sound aggressive, but, I just have a healthy disrespect for men like this, and I certainly don't fear them.

I hope for you the best, but, he can only get under your skin if you let him... take control, 'cause if he hits you or something, his butt goes to jail, no "get out of jail free" card. I would refuse to play his game...

I know the kids make the whole thing worse, but, it's no good for the kids to see you treated like this, matter of fact, it's harmful to them. This guy is a loser with a capital "L". Any man that would threaten to kill a woman has serious self esteem issues.

Best wishes to you and yours... let people help you, he has got to you and your psyche, but, others not under his spell can handle him.

[VALENA-)45]

i hope and pray that you find a way out. being abused is terrible. i will go and do some investigating. to see if there is more help i can tell you. Keep your head up and don't let him see you cry. stand strong.

[lassss]

How can she be charged with kidnapping????? there is no divorce present so there is no custody agreement and she IS the parent and they are still married. She can take the kids anywhere she chooses and so can he

[justinenycole26]

I'm with Schsa, wait till he leaves for work and run for the hills! If he does try to find you, you will be in a safe place with the support of your family.

Don't worry about packing, just go. THINGS can be replaced later, you and your children cannot.

YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING AND YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH LOVE AND RESPECT. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT LIVE IN FEAR. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT AND OBLIGATION TO PROVIDE A SAFE NURTURING HOME FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

Only you can decide what to do. We will be here to help in any way we can.

[Tasha405]

I'm with Schsa, wait till he leaves for work and run for the hills!
And smile while ya do it! Call up some family in WV and have them come get you if you don't have a way to leave. If you can't up and run then have some family call and say they want you and the kids to come visit or something. If he doesn't want you there then he probably won't care and just never go back. Whatever you do please know that we are here for you. {{{{Hugs}}}} Please stay safe and do what is best for you and your kids.

[VALENA-)45]

Do What The Ladies In This Post Tell You To Do. They Are Trying To Help You Get Out Of A Bad Situation. And Don't And I Mean Don't Tell Him You Are Leaving Or He Will Try To Stop You, Once You Are In The United States, There Will Be Nothing He Can Do. Honey, You Are An American, And We Americans Stand Strond And We Fight For Ours. Smile, You Are On Your Way Out. I Am Right Below You In Ny, If You Need To Holdover For A Minute, Just Pm Me And Let Me Know, I Will Do My Best To Help You. You Are Apart Of The Bbs Family And We Will Do Our Best To Help You, And We Are Here To Encourage You And To Give You Moral Support. Please Keep Us Updated. Good Luck.

[schsa]

You can't be charged with kidnapping because you are a custodial parent. You are still married to their father so you can't be charged with kidnapping. Kidnapping only works when the parents are divorced and the parent without court ordered custodial rights takes the children. You are still married and therefore you have full custodial rights as well as he does. If you decide to go on vacation and take the kids there isn't anything he can do about it.

Take your kids and leave. Don't worry about anything else. He will have to fight the courts to get them back and no court will make you give them back to him. You are the mother and you can provide a good and stable home surrounded by loving family members. He can't.

[withnohalo]

I cannot thank my BBs family enough. You all have given me courage and hope. I am looking into legal counseling. I am not letting him in on anything. Just smiling, acting as if everything was normal. He always tells me he is one step ahead of me so hopefully I can do this without him counter acting my plans. I worry about taking my sons from their father. I hope they do not resent me later but I do not want them learning from him and thinking that is the way men are supposed to be. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts and words of encouragement. I love you all.
angela

[Bick'sMom]

How can she be charged with kidnapping????? there is no divorce present so there is no custody agreement and she IS the parent and they are still married. She can take the kids anywhere she chooses and so can he

Never mind.

[queenangie]

My first thought to was go to visit your family in the US...and stay.
But, I'd check confidentially with a lawyer first.

Just said a prayer for you and the children.

Keep us posted!
Hugs,
Angie

[lassss]

Never mind. I was only trying to help out since I have gone through a situation similar to this. Apparently you know better than I do about these situations.

the only reason I said this is because one time my ex took our son on vacation and he didn't bring him back at the designated time and right away I called the police. The police said he is the father and cannot be charged with kidnapping as there is no real court order for custody but we do have a separation/divorce agreement saying I have primary custody. As it turned out the ex and our son missed the flight and made it home a few hours later.

[Bick'sMom]

It makes a difference because she is going to be taking the children from one country to another.

I would just hate to see anything go wrong for her when she needs to get herself and her kids out of there.

[VALENA-)45]

good luck and may God be with you.

[jcw]

I really hope things work out. Let us know how things go.

[okwarrior]

One of your options is to contact the U.S.State Department.

[ang in NC]

Remember God never closes a door w/ out opening a window. I wouldn't let him kow anything! Praying for you to have strength.

[1tiredmom]

i'm with schsa & sahmsfreeb-when he leaves just put the kids in the car & go home (here) and just say you are visiting your family-& if he gets rough & angry there will be others to see how he is treating you & the children-i would also call just to see about your rights are-but i would after i got on this side of the border--wish i could help you more but i agree with the others too

[bears984]

My thought is this go to a woman's shelter they can get you out of there and then there is nothing that he can do to you he will never know where they put you and then after a while you can always go to your family good luck hun I will be keeping you in my thoughts

[withnohalo]

Thank you all so much for all your messages and prayers. I found a lot of information. Unfortunately, if we divorce, I still may not be able to take the boys across the border. When he realized I wanted to leave and how miserable I was, things changed. He said he was sorry for the way things have been. He said he was hard on me because he is hard on himself. I explained to him that people are different and what works for him does not necessarily work for me. He has been helpful around the house and he has helped a lot with the boys. Whether this is a permanent change or a temporary one, I do not know. That is why I am keeping all options open. Through the strength I gained from all of your posts, I was able to talk to people and find support. Now I am not afraid. Thank you all so much. I love each and every one of you!!!

[cch]

(((withnohalo))) I hope this is a permanent change!

[Tasha405]

(((withnohalo))) I hope this is a permanent change!I do too {{{Hugs}}}

[Angel Lips]

I hope things stay the way they are now, my prayers are with you and the best of luck hun. ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

[jcw]

Praying things stay better for you

[bell_peaches]

I have no advise I am sorry. all I have is ((((((HUGS)))))) and you and the kids are in my prayers.

[Kelsey1224]

Wow...I hate to be the wet blanket here...but it sounds like this is just another example of his being 'one step ahead of her'. This man is an abuser and this is an example of the 'honeymoon phase'. That's when the abuser realizes that the abused is actually thinking of leaving, then they get all lovey dovey and nice again.

It's an act!

Don't get me wrong...I hate to see marriages break up. But I hate worse to see a woman beaten down...if not physically, then emotionally. This man threated to kill her. Somehow...I can find no excuse for that behavior.

But...maybe that's just me.

[lassss]

mmm perhaps now he sees that you have the strength to leave if you choose too and realized he could very well lose you and the kids, he has changed his ways...you might have scared him or as the previous post, it might be an act...only time will telll but I wish you all the best and remember whenever you need some reassurance we are here :D

[UROCgirl]

I agree with Kelsey, Keep your eyes open. People do not change very easily and this seems to easily. If you see any hint that he is trying to cut off your contacts (he will do it very sneakily like trying to cause arguments with friend/family ect.) or isolate you in any way that is a clue he hasn't changed at all. Also he will try to keep you self esteem really low so that you will think with out him you won't have a life and no one else will want you and that is VERY UNTRUE! No matter what be prepared to leave on a moments notice if you get the chance, just in case.

I was in a very bad relationship years ago and the honeymoon phase can be somewhat addicting. It is so great when they act all dovey and nice again, it is almost worth the bad times (that is what I thought then for the first year or so then I woke up things were gradually getting worse). I think of the toad in boiling water, if it is cold when you put it in it will stay put until it is cooked. Beware! He IS a master manipulator, and he DID threaten to kill you, do not forget that.

I know this decision is up to you but I worry about your kids and like I said I have experienced a slightly similar situation (we did not have kids so less complicated there but I did worry about -what if we did have kids-)

I remember specifically thinking "Well it is not that bad I mean he hasn't really beat me up or anything really really bad" (Just because he had not put me in the hospital or given me a black eye) Abuse is abuse whether it is emotional, the yelling and screaming, belittling, and holding you down or squeezing (I had finger print bruises VERY often)

I had to pretend everything was okay and move over 550 miles away to get away. I feel lucky to have gotton away, fairly unscathed, and better for it.
I thank god that is over, it was 14 years ago now but if I think about it the memories are very vivid, It is scary.

I send my prayers out to you and hope that everything works out for the best. Just be really carefull and remember that your little boys will follow their fathers example.

((((((((HUGS)))))))))

[moe265]

I have to agree with Kelsey and UROC. It took me 6 years to "get tired of being sick and tired". He changed long enough to get comfortable again and then back to his old ways. I moved 1400 miles away and have no regrets. Don't let him fool you. I hope and pray that things work out for you. Keep your eyes and ears open. Good Luck!!

[BabyDolla]

Make that another agreement with the last 3 posts.
I want to say.."run, run as fast as you can!!!" He sounds a lot like my friend's old ex man! . ( He was part canadian, not saying they are all bad!!) Took her about 10 yrs to see that everything he did was abuse. To her and the kids. No hitting, verbal and mental. She had a set dinner menu, grocery allowance, time limits when she went places. Only allowed a few friends and he told her who they were going to be. Thank God I was one. ( I told her to leave. :p ) No working. On and on, Well, she left him 6 yrs ago and is so much happier. So are the 3 children. However, her loony ex still is causing her trouble.
I pray you can get help and soon.
Prayers, hugs and blessing.

[Unicornmom77]

Hi! I just wanted to let ya know I continue to pray for you and I agree with the last 4 or 5 posts!!

Email me if you need anything hun!!

~Wendy

[1tiredmom]

((hug)) wish i knew what to say or do legally-but do you need permission to go across the border? if not when he leaves for work guess who would be leaving with just the clothes on our back and diapers in the diaper bag & lall but $50.00 in the bank---

[1tiredmom]

sorry about my reply i didn't realize they had 4 pages & what i said was probably ten times over

[menanamama]

got to agree...honeymoon phase....dealing with it myself right now. it is a crock...he is trying to make you second guess yourself. soon as he realises you are not actually leaving....he will go back the same route....TRUST ME

[katzenberg]

i hope it works out for you and your children .you hope you get out and to your family and are safe.

[reneep45]

Hey girl ,hope you get to read this
i don't know how i missed this post ! i had no idea you were going thru this !
Anyway ,, if you leave ,, you know i'm not far from your parents , i'll help all i can , you could even stay here if you need to.
reneep45@yahoo.com if ya want to write me

[NL1720]

In my opinion, and I have three kids of my own, GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE! You owe it to those children to give them a better life! I was in the same situation, lasted five years until I finally saw that my kid's lives were filled with nothing but sadness and fear of their father. Have your family in WV contact a really good lawyer - not some guy in the phone book with a coupon discount - A REAL GOOD ONE and get those kids a life that they deserve!!!!

My best wishes for your future - ours is much better now!

[Elijah'sMommy]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with the others here, concerned for you. I feel Kelsey is right about this. Trust me, I hope that he has changed (I know that can happen) but there's the old saying a leopard doesn't change its spots.... (((((((HUGS)))))) and prayers for your & your boys.

P.S. I also wanted to say that when they are older your boys will thank you for what you did for yourself & for them. In order for them to respect you, you need to respect yourself. Leaving shows them that you do respect yourself. I know you're between a rock & a hard place, but please keep us informed.

[msmom79]

always ,always document things,keep them in a safe place,if you have something you know will help in your situation,(DO NOT LEAVE IT IN YOUR HOME) leave it with family,friends,a boss,anyone you can truely trust,get a safe deposit box,keep a lawyer on retainer.but most of all have faith in yourself,girl you can do anything you set your mind to,please get those babies out of that situation.a big {{{hug to you}}} ann

[Kelsey1224]

Please let us know how you are doing...

[withnohalo]

Thanks Kelsey! Knowing you all care means the world to me. Things are well now. I hope it lasts, but if it does not, I have collected information and have talked to a few people close by who are there when I need them. One lady works for a family law practice and can get me in on a moments notice. I have phone numbers of shelters to call so I can leave and have a place to go should things turn ugly. At times I feel like a whiner since I have never been physically abused. When he is being really nice to me, I feel bad about complaining during the bad times, but...just looking back at this thread reminds me of what it feels like when he tells me how ugly, stupid, worthless, fat (I am 126 lbs now) etc. I am. If he has not changed, crossing my fingers, I do not think the good days are worth all the bad. I have been working as a mystery shopper for some companies up here the last few weeks and it has helped me to get some of my confidence back. I think I needed that in order to consider making it on my own. He took away all his charge cards so now I have my own. I am building a good credit history because I think you kinda have to have it now adays. :) When I came to Canda I basically became a new person and lost my credit history from my years in the US.
Thanks for listening and for caring. You are one of the most wonderful people I have met here at the boards. I always looked forward to your posts in the Survivor threads.
Angela

[Kelsey1224]

Glad to hear you are okay. It sounds like you are being proactive and that never hurts. I think it also sounds like you are aware deep down that he will probably revert to old behavior at some time. But for now...keep safe and build up you resources!

If things stay good...then you will be all the better for standing up for yourself! Plus your children will have a good example in your being a strong woman!

[qwestgirl]

I have a boyfriend that is from Canada.......According to him, you, being an American citizen, have the right to leave Canada with your children whenever you wish!! He cannot legally hold you in Canada....Where were the children born? Feel free to email me trl5050@yahoo.com and I will help you in any way that I can! I was once in an abusive (physically and emotionally) relationship and fortunately there are no children and we were not married. I had to travel 1800 miles to get away from him. He has NO idea where I am currently and God willing, he NEVER will. I will be more than happy to get you any info that is humanly possible to help you out of this horrible situation that you are in. In the meantime, don't believe anything that he tells you but, don't provoke a situation either. Meaning, don't let him know that you don't believe him.....Don't call him on.....Be safe for you and your children!! Tammy