I can't belive what was said to the kids on DD bus !!!

[hmkejma]

My 4 almost5 yr old came home today after school . Told me that her aid on the bus told the kids that If they did not stop telling on each other that she would put soap in thier mouths ! :eek: I was floored !
Who dose she think she is telling them that ! :confused:
That is not her place to tell them something like that !
If my child is doing something wrong then they NEED to tell me . so I can take care of it !
I tried calling the bus company... they were gone for the day .
I don;t want to send her on the bus any more , but I need to cuz I don't drive .
I do not know what to do ... just makes me mad ! :mad:

[kimmylg]

How would you suggest she get control of the entire bus? 60 kids means lots of parents to call.

I am a bus driver, and sometimes you have to threaten to do harsh things to scare the kids so they will stop doing what they're doing! Teachers do it, too. Parents do it even more!!

Bus drivers, monitors, teachers, we are all parents, too (most of us, anyway) and I, for one, talk to the kids on my bus the way I talk to my own kids. You have to use what they understand.

Now, having said that, if she actually did put soap in their mouths, then you have every right to be irate, but for just that innocent threat, probably not.

You could always drive your child to school or better yet, go get your bus license. Then you will know!!!! It's not a cake walk. ;) and we drivers are human.

[bulldog6186]

My DD bus driver threatens her daily to keep in her seat or he will duct tape her down to it. He's been telling her that for years, hasn't done it yet.

IMO, it was a silly threat. I have heard worse and parents laugh about it, because they know how their kids can be.

In a way I understand why you are upset, but I bet when you talk to the aid you get a different version of the story. She probably wasn't a mean old witch when she said it, I bet she said it in a funny sort of way. Your DD is only 5, the threats only get better as she gets older :eek:



Kuddos to the aids and bus drivers that put up with screaming kids, I know I couldn't do it.

[ahippiechic]

My DD bus driver threatens her daily to keep in her seat or he will duct tape her down to it. He's been telling her that for years, hasn't done it yet.

IMO, it was a silly threat. I have heard worse and parents laugh about it, because they know how their kids can be.

In a way I understand why you are upset, but I bet when you talk to the aid you get a different version of the story. She probably wasn't a mean old witch when she said it, I bet she said it in a funny sort of way. Your DD is only 5, the threats only get better as she gets older :eek:



Kuddos to the aids and bus drivers that put up with screaming kids, I know I couldn't do it.

True! I don't know how they do it either. Teachers, aides, bus drivers...I'd be bald if I had to deal with that many kids! :cool:

[twinkiesmom]

i'll just bet if u could be a fly on that window of the bus, u could see why the aide hadta say what she did. I dunno where these bus ppl/aides/teachers get their patience, but i couldn't do it. Cuz I prolly would soap some mouths!

[ladyseals]

my mom and my grandma used to say that to me lol! And, I will say it to my own kids it I hear a cuss word. If I think they have a dirty mouth, I will say that I will clean it with soap. Hubbys great aunt did it for real, lol!

But, to me what she said was no big deal. It is not like she is going to do it, but the kids don't know that, so they will be afraid and not act up.

[MsLynn]

i have done it to my kids and let me tell ya, IT WORKS!!!, lol

[momfromTN]

My DD bus driver threatens her daily to keep in her seat or he will duct tape her down to it. He's been telling her that for years, hasn't done it yet.

IMO, it was a silly threat. I have heard worse and parents laugh about it, because they know how their kids can be.

In a way I understand why you are upset, but I bet when you talk to the aid you get a different version of the story. She probably wasn't a mean old witch when she said it, I bet she said it in a funny sort of way. Your DD is only 5, the threats only get better as she gets older :eek:



Kuddos to the aids and bus drivers that put up with screaming kids, I know I couldn't do it.


I totally agree. Getting all defensive never helps anything. I couldn't do it, especially in a public school. Kids these days are taught THEY are the center of attention and don't have to respect any authority. You couldn't pay me a million dollars to be a public school teacher or bus aide or driver. No freakin' way.

[DivineMsDi]

I used to teach kids 4-6 years old and you sometimes get so frustrated because you have to be nice....I mean, imagine having 30 kids running to tell Mommy and Daddy if you slip up and say "stupid" or just something mild (not calling the kids stupid, just using it to describe something). You get at the end of your rope sometimes.

The kids all have spring fever and at this point, don't "want" to follow rules. The aide was probably just fed up with the kids not listening.

You can remind your daughter that kids running around and not behaving on the bus can cause an accident. She also needs to know the aids is NOT allowed to do that (wash her mouth out).

Sometimes people just have a bad day. Hope this day is better for all over you.

[Tasha405]

I think it was just a silly comment to try and get the bluff on those kids. I know I COULD NOT handle all of those kids like they do. On my bad days I would probably tell them worse than that! :o LOL I guess its a good thing I'm not a bus driver. hehehe ;)


MsLynn I've done it too! When my 12 yr old was little he would cuss like you would not believe. He didn't care who it was either. It could be a doctor, nurse, me, popaw, momaw, whoever. He was BAD and the only way I could break him was use soap because I had tried everything else. His doctor was the one who told me to give that a try since we had already tried everything else and it worked! I also tell me 3 yr old that I'm going to do it to him too because he will cuss every once in a while but no where near as bad as my 12 yr old did!

[FireFox1973]

I informed both my stepsons that when I was their age, I got a bar of ivory for my sassing. They thought I was BS'ing, until after a real awful night, they woke up to find a bar of ivory each in their cereal bowls! Boy, I had two angles for a while after that!
It could have been said in exasperation, or as a joke. I know my 9 year old tends to make things out to be much worse than they actually are.
To make yourself feel better, tomorrow, call the bus company and ask to speak to the aid. try and do it calmly, and see if the two of you have a solution to what caused the comment in the first place.

I have to add, God bless the bus drivers. I get frazzled by a night at Chuck-E-Cheese's!
Good Luck! :D

[ebgreen74]

My 4 almost5 yr old came home today after school . Told me that her aid on the bus told the kids that If they did not stop telling on each other that she would put soap in thier mouths ! :eek: I was floored !
Who dose she think she is telling them that ! :confused:
That is not her place to tell them something like that !
If my child is doing something wrong then they NEED to tell me . so I can take care of it !
I tried calling the bus company... they were gone for the day .
I don;t want to send her on the bus any more , but I need to cuz I don't drive .
I do not know what to do ... just makes me mad ! :mad:


I don't think there's any reason to be upset either. I also would not tell your daughter that it was just an idol threat and that it will never happen for real either. Parents getting overly upset about things like that is what causes these kids to be so out of control on the bus anyway. If my kid was messing up on the bus and was told he or she would get their mouth washed out with soap, I'd tell them they better act right to make sure it never happened!! Of course if it did happen-LOL-I'd be on that bus with a bar of soap for the busdriver-!!

[CatrinaF25]

Sorry if someone said that to my children I would put soap in their mouth. they are their to watch my children take care of them. NOT threaten them. PERIOD.
they need to carry cel phone just incase they need 2 call a parent.

If you cant handle the job they Quit but DONT threaten a child. SOME children WOULD take that to heart and maybe never speak again.

[momfromTN]

Sorry if someone said that to my children I would put soap in their mouth. they are their to watch my children take care of them. NOT threaten them. PERIOD.
they need to carry cel phone just incase they need 2 call a parent.

If you cant handle the job they Quit but DONT threaten a child. SOME children WOULD take that to heart and maybe never speak again.


Well, I will tell you what. When parents THESE days don't teach their kids to respect authority, it is no wonder they cannot keep decent people to teach and work with the kids. I mean, Gawd Forbid you should tell a poooooor chyyyyyld to hush up or tell them, NO. It might hurt ther self-esteeeeeem. My gosh people, kids are NOT that darn fragile for the most part, except maybe that rare kid. Back in my childhood, I would have gotten in trouble at home for getting in trouble in school or on the bus. My parents did not stand for the foolishness that a lot of parents today do. In this day and age, some parents seem to think their kids are perfect and would NEVER do anything wrong.

(BTW, I am NOT saying you do this~I don't know you.)

I see what you are saying. But I don't think the lady was wrong at all. And kids will embellish stories and sometimes get the story wrong, unintentionally, too. My 6 yr old told his teacher we were drinking beer. (we don't drink and he goes to a Christian school) She politely asked me what he meant, and he meant ROOT beer. He also told her that he wanted to pray for Daddy at the hotel. My DH was working a job that took him out of town for a week at a time. I got asked about that, too. She thought maybe we were divorcing. She was not being rude, just genuinely concerned. We had a good laugh over those things.

If a child is that fragile where they would NEVER speak another word again, simply because of a comment, that was probably meant to be funny, then that poor child really might need some serious psychological help.

[okie]

My grandmother used that nasty lava soap on us.It worked and to this day i still do not cuss around her.

[lassss]

If this is that serious to you then I suggest you get your license and take your child to school yourself

[cass2277]

why dont you give him your phone number,maybe he can stop by a phone and call you up!!!! then you can go to the bus and tell your kid to stop.

[cinnamonch]

My 4 almost5 yr old came home today after school . Told me that her aid on the bus told the kids that If they did not stop telling on each other that she would put soap in thier mouths ! :eek: I was floored !
Who dose she think she is telling them that ! :confused:
That is not her place to tell them something like that !
If my child is doing something wrong then they NEED to tell me . so I can take care of it !
I tried calling the bus company... they were gone for the day .
I don;t want to send her on the bus any more , but I need to cuz I don't drive .
I do not know what to do ... just makes me mad ! :mad:


I re-read your vent several times and I dont understand why you are so upset. Your daughter said she told the kids who were tattling on each other to stop or she would put soap in their mouth. Doesnt seem like she was directing that comment to your child or any other one who werent tattling.

This sounds more like the driver was getting tired of the needless tattling/ratting that kids have a tendency to do. (do you remember the sketch Bill Cosby did about his kids?, this makes me think this was the case here).

You expect this person to call you every time something is going on, but they dont have that kind of time and if they are driving your child you shouldnt want them to be on the phone with you or anyone else but rather concentrating on driving your child to or from school safely. I also know that they cant pull over to make calls parents, they can only call their boss and I dont see her calling him/her for something like this.

[dlwt]

I think what the bus driver said actually worked. The children listened and responded. It actually made the kids THINK as well know there is consequence to doing wrong. Sounds like a good deal to me

[Linus1223]

My 4 almost5 yr old came home today after school . Told me that her aid on the bus told the kids that If they did not stop telling on each other that she would put soap in thier mouths ! :eek: I was floored !
Who dose she think she is telling them that ! :confused:
That is not her place to tell them something like that !
If my child is doing something wrong then they NEED to tell me . so I can take care of it !
I tried calling the bus company... they were gone for the day .
I don;t want to send her on the bus any more , but I need to cuz I don't drive .
I do not know what to do ... just makes me mad ! :mad:
While I can understand that you're upset because you don't like they way that your child was treated...

However, I would consider this an idle threat meant to get the kids to listen. It's not like she said she was going to beat your kid's @sses if they didn't keep quiet...

In the lady's defense, it was something she probably heard growing up - something said to her when she was a child - so she felt it was okay to do the same. If you feel that is *that* inappropriate, by all means tell her, and tell her what she should be saying so as not to offend you.

[momfromTN]

While I can understand that you're upset because you don't like they way that your child was treated...

However, I would consider this an idle threat meant to get the kids to listen. It's not like she said she was going to beat your kid's @sses if they didn't keep quiet...

In the lady's defense, it was something she probably heard growing up - something said to her when she was a child - so she felt it was okay to do the same. If you feel that is *that* inappropriate, by all means tell her, and tell her what she should be saying so as not to offend you.


"Tell her what she should be saying" Oh COME on! :p I am so sick of all this "offending" and "political correctness" and you cannot correct kids no matter what or you are an abuser nonsense. Do you know that a child who desperately needs medication can LEGALLY refuse it and there is nothing the parents can do? And that a child in a treatment center at age 16 can sign themselves out and there is nothing the parent can do? The irony is that the kid does this and then the law wants to blame the parents if the kid is on the street. Seems kids are getting all these "rights" and the parents are getting the shaft. But I digress.

Like you said, if she had threatened to beat her butt, I could see getting upset, or if she was yelling and swinging a belt around or something really extreme. Heck, I would have told my child, "Well, I hope YOU are not one who is tattling. If you are, you SHOULD have your mouth washed out. You kids need to behave and respect the grown ups in school and on that bus." Or something similar. That situation could be used as a learning tool.

Gowd, you could not PAY me enough to work in the public school system. No freaking way.

[tammy77]

momfromTN I agree with you completely.The courts have parents so scared to spank thier kids because they fear thier children will get taken away.Parents wonder why thier kids dont listen to them and chase them around the house with a butcher knife calling them every name in the book(sorry I watch to much Maury).I know people who dont discipline thier kids.When you yell at them or tell them to stop they just look at you and laugh.I wouldnt think twice about spanking my kids and nobody can stop me.Parents need to teach thier kids to respect authority.

[momfromTN]

momfromTN I agree with you completely.The courts have parents so scared to spank thier kids because they fear thier children will get taken away.Parents wonder why thier kids dont listen to them and chase them around the house with a butcher knife calling them every name in the book(sorry I watch to much Maury).I know people who dont discipline thier kids.When you yell at them or tell them to stop they just look at you and laugh.I wouldnt think twice about spanking my kids and nobody can stop me.Parents need to teach thier kids to respect authority.


It is not so much courts, it is the dang SOCIAL WORKERS and CPS or whatever it is called where you are. Now, granted there are decent social workers who genuinely care about the kids and others. But there are what I call the WITCH HUNTERS. They scout out parents who spank and make their lives a living hell. Or your kid goes to school with a small bruise from rough housing or falling and some zealot teacher has social services swoop into your home and take your child without so much as a HELLO. The irony is, in MOST places, spanking is perfectly legal. Now, if you WHALE on your kid and leave marks and bust their face or something equally as stupid, YES you are an abuser. But WHEN did decent parents trying to raise their kids and teach them right from wrong become abusers. Now we have time outs and 123 Magic, etc. And we are supposed to whine, cajole and beg our kids to behave. We are supposed to allow them to run OUR homes. Hey if 123 Magic works for you, then I am happy but I will be darned if I give a kid 3 chances to change their behavior. They need to do what I say the FIRST time. If timeouts do it for you, thats great too. Not every kid needs spanking. But that stuff does NOT work for my stubborn little guys. I love them and hug them more than anything. But I WILL NOT put up with bad behavior and I don't have to.

[Kelsey1224]

What's 123 Magic?

[zitra]

why dont you give him your phone number,maybe he can stop by a phone and call you up!!!! then you can go to the bus and tell your kid to stop.

I think that is unrealistic. A bus driver does not have time to stop, and call a parent when their child acts up. It is also not their responsibility to do so. I say if a bus driver needs to tell the kids he'll was their mouths out, then so be it, it's not like he told the kids he would smack them or something. I am sure the driver meant it as a benign(sp) threat, but these days you have to use what works.

[Kelsey1224]

I think that is unrealistic. A bus driver does not have time to stop, and call a parent when their child acts up. It is also not their responsibility to do so. I say if a bus driver needs to tell the kids he'll was their mouths out, then so be it, it's not like he told the kids he would smack them or something. I am sure the driver meant it as a benign(sp) threat, but these days you have to use what works.

I think cass was being sarcastic!

[zitra]

What's 123 Magic?


I *think* it has somethign ot do with when they are doign wrong you count to three, not sure what the magic has to do with it though.
With my kids I do the 123..but they know if I get ot 3 someone is getting spanked. Pretty much as soon as I utter the word one, they stop doign whatever they are doing..I think with 123 magic, that there is no corporal punishment involved. I think my BIL does the 123 magic, and time outs ONLY, and he does ground occasionally, and his girls are always getting into trouble hitting each other, taking toys away, etc. But no corporal punishment.
I has his youngest who is 5 here, on Fri., and was also watchign a 15 month little boy. I was making lunch, and the little boy crawled up into the chair she was sitting in so she pushed him onto the floor! When I went I spanked her two times on the bottom (not hard)..and her response was "but I told him sorry", when i told her just saying sorry doesn't mean you don't get punished..She said "yes it does, my dad said so"..I found out at their house it doesn't matter if he breaks her sister's toy/hits her sister, etc. say sorry and all is forgiven. So now she says sorry, even though she doesn't mean it, and gets away with everything..so basically her dad gave her the greenlight to do whatever she wants, with no repercussions. She is going ot have some rude awakening when she gets older!!!

[momfromTN]

http://www.cyberparent.com/books/123magickidsdisciplinebooks.htm


Again, if this works for you, thats great. I just found the method a little insulting to parents, especially how they tout it with things like: "No Spanking, NO Yelling Method of Discipline." Like they assume ALL people who spank yell at their kids. I rarely yell.

[Linus1223]

"Tell her what she should be saying"



I meant that in a sarcastic way.

[CatrinaF25]

Well I understand telling a child NO. and such like that . what I DONT agree with is Threatning a child. period.
what is the child is allergic to that soap? what if the driver had actully did it? How would you feel then? If your a bus driver school teacher and such there are rules to follow and that includes NOT threatnign a child.

I DO see what your saying HUGS

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

This is just MY opinion, but I think it is being totally blown out of proportion. If I ever got in trouble on the bus, I would rather face the bus driver than my mom. I guarantee you, I would not be able to sit down for a week after she got ahold of me! Again, this is just MY opinion, but this is the problem with kids now days. Parents expect the bus drivers to get their kids to school safe, but they are not allowed to discipline them. The bus driver that I had would not even let you TALK on the bus.

[Jaxx]

My 4 almost5 yr old came home today after school . Told me that her aid on the bus told the kids that If they did not stop telling on each other that she would put soap in thier mouths ! :eek: I was floored !
Who dose she think she is telling them that ! :confused:
That is not her place to tell them something like that !
If my child is doing something wrong then they NEED to tell me . so I can take care of it !
I tried calling the bus company... they were gone for the day .
I don;t want to send her on the bus any more , but I need to cuz I don't drive .
I do not know what to do ... just makes me mad ! :mad:


I have heard worse things said...i dont think it's such a big deal - IMO

[momfromTN]

I meant that in a sarcastic way.

I know, hence the :p smilies.
:D

[momfromTN]

Well I understand telling a child NO. and such like that . what I DONT agree with is Threatning a child. period.
what is the child is allergic to that soap? what if the driver had actully did it? How would you feel then? If your a bus driver school teacher and such there are rules to follow and that includes NOT threatnign a child.

I DO see what your saying HUGS

Ok, First of all, I believe it was the AIDE on the bus, not the driver. But that small fact does not matter. Either way, most people know better that to touch a child. I will bet that lady would not risk her job or her freedom to actually put soap in a kid's mouth. COME ON! Please! Lets get real here. Yeah, someone is gonna carry bars of soap on a bus full of kids. I can see that now.

As far as telling kids NO, in this day and age with so many parents treating their kids like royalty, NO is a mighty ineffective word.
Actually,With the way things are going, I am surprised the school workers are not required to bow down to the kids these days. (sarcasm) Almighty CHILDREN and their "rights". ("we're not worthy" LOL! :D )

Second of all, this is a huge vehicle and it takes a lot of concentration to drive sometimes. You ever drive one? I have and my husband does on Sunday for our church. I say if the driver requires quiet, then so be it.


Lastly, Parents: teach your kids to behave and you won't have as many problems. Pay the school workers more to deal with the kids and you will keep QUALITY workers.
If there is a worker who actually is REALLY threatening the kids, and is really bad about it, then you get rid of them.

[belcherpi]

My kids are older (middle/high school) but at the beginning of each year we (the parents) have to sign a paper pertaining to the rules of the bus and we are responsible for explaining those rules to our kids and then THEY must sign the paper. My kids bus driver doesn't allow talking on the bus. My kid was caught talking and the bus driver firmly told him to be quiet. He came home and told me what the driver said, I guess he was thinking I would be mad at the driver, WRONG. Kids don't realize that if you have a bus load of kids and all of them are even whispering, it is loud. If my kids bus driver has problems with kids they are first turned in to the principal and if that doesn't help then they are no longer allowed to ride the bus.

[momfromTN]

My kids are older (middle/high school) but at the beginning of each year we (the parents) have to sign a paper pertaining to the rules of the bus and we are responsible for explaining those rules to our kids and then THEY must sign the paper. My kids bus driver doesn't allow talking on the bus. My kid was caught talking and the bus driver firmly told him to be quiet. He came home and told me what the driver said, I guess he was thinking I would be mad at the driver, WRONG. Kids don't realize that if you have a bus load of kids and all of them are even whispering, it is loud. If my kids bus driver has problems with kids they are first turned in to the principal and if that doesn't help then they are no longer allowed to ride the bus.

That makes you a good parent.

[Linus1223]

I know, hence the :p smilies.
:D


Ahhhhh..Okay, just making sure. :D

[nosanity05]

My kids are older (middle/high school) but at the beginning of each year we (the parents) have to sign a paper pertaining to the rules of the bus and we are responsible for explaining those rules to our kids and then THEY must sign the paper. .

Our school does the same thing. We live in a small community, so grades preK-12 attend school on the same campus, and elementary, middle and HS all ride the bus together. Our school has adopted a zero tolerance policy on the buses. My kids were 30 mins late coming home a couple of weeks ago, because some kids were throwing wadded up paper on the bus. The driver told them to stop, and when they didn't, she turned the bus around and returned to the school, where 2 sheriff's deputies were waiting. They took the 3 kids involved off the bus in handcuffs, and their parents had to go pick them up at the Sheriff's Dept. They also got suspended from the bus for a week. While I do think the use of handcuffs on three 7th graders is excessive, I can understand where paper throwing can turn to throwing more dangerous things, like paper clips, very quickly. The problem we have is the parents. A lot of them just flat do NOT care what their kids do on the buses. Its pretty sad.

[momfromTN]

Our school does the same thing. We live in a small community, so grades preK-12 attend school on the same campus, and elementary, middle and HS all ride the bus together. Our school has adopted a zero tolerance policy on the buses. My kids were 30 mins late coming home a couple of weeks ago, because some kids were throwing wadded up paper on the bus. The driver told them to stop, and when they didn't, she turned the bus around and returned to the school, where 2 sheriff's deputies were waiting. They took the 3 kids involved off the bus in handcuffs, and their parents had to go pick them up at the Sheriff's Dept. They also got suspended from the bus for a week. While I do think the use of handcuffs on three 7th graders is excessive, I can understand where paper throwing can turn to throwing more dangerous things, like paper clips, very quickly. The problem we have is the parents. A lot of them just flat do NOT care what their kids do on the buses. Its pretty sad.


I don't think it was excessive. It would have been back when I was a kid, but back then, parents didn't think the kids were perfect angels and there was no real need to scare the crap out of us. We knew better. I am glad the kids got stood up to and let know they don't run things.

[ebgreen74]

Sorry if someone said that to my children I would put soap in their mouth. they are their to watch my children take care of them. NOT threaten them. PERIOD.
they need to carry cel phone just incase they need 2 call a parent.

If you cant handle the job they Quit but DONT threaten a child. SOME children WOULD take that to heart and maybe never speak again.

that is hillarious! I hope you're joking but sadly I think you're serious. No wonder kids think they rule the roost anymore!

[monii222]

When my son was in head start, and I would help out from time to time and I had to ride on the bus to and from school, I can totally unserstand why the aide would say this to a child, I for one do not think it is a big deal. I don't see it as harming anyone, if my son came home and told me this, I would have asked what was he and the other kids doing that made her say that and explain to him that they need to listen and stay in their seats for their safety, and that she was not trying to be mean but protect them and that its her job to do that. I would not be to upset inless it actually happened.

I know when I was in school, our bus driver would tell the kids she would knock their lights out when we would start getting loud and stuff. We never really believed her, but we knew to settle down, but that was high school.