the1bea
04-20-2004, 06:49 PM
Well, right now, I dont know if I should be sad or happy. After about a year of trying, my husbands counselor finally convenced him to commit himself to a local hospital for his emotional issues. This is something that he has needed for YEARS. He has been on almost every med out there for mental issues, except Lithium, and nothing has worked. It is awful living with someone who is bi-polar, super-depressed, anger issues, ADD, plus more. His mental probs are one reason why he is on disabilty. The other is because of the nerve damage in his back and left leg. Everyhing with him has been snowballing downhill this year. Mentally, physically, everything.
Well anyways, we have had a rocky marriage the past few years because of all of this emotional crap, and have been thinking about how am I going to get a divorce since I can not live this way that I have with him anymore. We have not wore our wedding rings for about a year or so. I really want to work on our relationship, thus the counseling, but after a year of seeing the couselor, no progress with him was made and it has been very hard to keep my own emotional progress up, along with my 'energy' my Ki/Qi. I had awesome intuition before our relationship, and after 5 years of marriage, I am just starting to bring my intuition back into play. I dont know if it is my schooling and tapping into it, or just doing stuff for myself (my schooling again) or both. I have met someone in my massage therapy classes that I am oddly physically attracted to. He is not my type (he is a cowboy/rancher, and I cant imagine having him go to a punk rock show with me ;) ), but just an awesome sweetheart of a guy. I dont know why, but I am not a flirt, and have been flirting like crazy with him for 2 or so weeks and cant get him out of my head. There are other guys in my class, but just him I am attracted to. He has been in my class for 6 months and everything has just came on recently. I know that my bad relationship is to blame a bit for my behavior, just wanting out of it and wanting something new, but the rest, I dont know. I am just kinda confused. I am glad that my husband is getting the help that he needs so badly, but at the same time, I just want him to go away so that I can work on my self with out his negativity zapping my energy. I guess we will have to see what happens next when he gets out of the hospital. Thanks for letting me vent some of this stuff. :o
Well anyways, we have had a rocky marriage the past few years because of all of this emotional crap, and have been thinking about how am I going to get a divorce since I can not live this way that I have with him anymore. We have not wore our wedding rings for about a year or so. I really want to work on our relationship, thus the counseling, but after a year of seeing the couselor, no progress with him was made and it has been very hard to keep my own emotional progress up, along with my 'energy' my Ki/Qi. I had awesome intuition before our relationship, and after 5 years of marriage, I am just starting to bring my intuition back into play. I dont know if it is my schooling and tapping into it, or just doing stuff for myself (my schooling again) or both. I have met someone in my massage therapy classes that I am oddly physically attracted to. He is not my type (he is a cowboy/rancher, and I cant imagine having him go to a punk rock show with me ;) ), but just an awesome sweetheart of a guy. I dont know why, but I am not a flirt, and have been flirting like crazy with him for 2 or so weeks and cant get him out of my head. There are other guys in my class, but just him I am attracted to. He has been in my class for 6 months and everything has just came on recently. I know that my bad relationship is to blame a bit for my behavior, just wanting out of it and wanting something new, but the rest, I dont know. I am just kinda confused. I am glad that my husband is getting the help that he needs so badly, but at the same time, I just want him to go away so that I can work on my self with out his negativity zapping my energy. I guess we will have to see what happens next when he gets out of the hospital. Thanks for letting me vent some of this stuff. :o