dcf! grrr!!

[metro]

gone sorry

[schsa]

So what you do is get little bowls and put bleach in them and set them around the house so that when she shows up your house smells like it has been cleaned to death. And your counters were too crowded? Who's aren't? Everyone could use a huge kitchen with tons of counter space. Maybe you should also buy a few dozen of those plug in air freshener's and put them on high for a few days.

And since when is it unhealthy for a small child to sleep with their parents? She's setting a standard that is one of her own with nothing to back it up.

Do as they ask and get them out your door. What a PIA to have to dance to their tune.

[momfromTN]

ugh! well almost 2 years ago something happened and my son got hurt. and of course dcf opened an investigation. well the case is soon to be closed. nothing was found of course. but this morning my case worker came by and was being a total witch! we've had about 4 different case workers through this all and she's the worst. there were leaves on the floor my husband had tracked in so she complained about that. then told me i had too much stuff on my kitchen counters and needed to clean my house better, then made a rude comment about me being home with my son all day. my house was by no means filthy but she made it sound terrible. then she went into our bedroom and asked where our son sleeps, and i told her as of right now he sleeps with us but next week he will be getting a toddler bed. well she told me he needed a toddler bed now and that it wasn't heathly for him to sleep with us. now i know different people have differnt opinions about family beds but i don't think my son sleeping with us for a week will damage him for life!! then she told me she came by yesterday and told me that she thought i was here but just didn't answer the door. not true! and went on to tell me my house stunk, at first i thought she was accusing me of using drugs but i'm not sure. but my house did not stink! this woman was being terrible! the case is to be closed in early may but she will still have to do home visits for another 3 months i think. i want to request another case worker but not sure how. she basically threatned me that if she brought and investigator with her next time they wouldn't close my case if it wasn't up to her standards. we have jumped through hoops for these people and always did what they told us to. this is the first time any of the case workers has said anything bad about us and i am very upset. now i know dcf is here to help abused kids and they do. but i doesn't seem right that they are hounding us, and our neighbor does drugs right in front of her child. we did nothing wrong and honestly i'm sure she has cases that are worse than ours, and if her major worry about us is my son sleeping with us, and leaves on my floor, then i don't think she's spending her time correctly. it is obvious to see my son that he is fine and she said herself that nothing hazardous was anywhere around the house. my cleaning just was not good enough for her. i had a huge list in my head of all the things dcf has done to us that wasn't good enough but i just had to nod and smile and told her i'd clean. ugh! sorry guys just had to vent about this!
thanks


Whats wrong with you being home with your son all day? Is she jealous because maybe she has to have other people raise her kids? Or is she one of those who never had kids but knows everything? Is her house spotless? I bet not, since she probably spends all her time witch hunting people who are trying to be decent parents, instead of people like your neighbor. It sucks that you have to be nice to such a butthead like her. But, fine, play the game. Go to www.flylady.net and get some ideas. Put some of your things in storage until after the case is closed.

Can you tell I am not a DCF fan? I also realize they are there to help truly troubled and abused kids, but I think that the worker you have was WAY out of line. I would keep records of what she said and how she acted and the problems she saw.

If it were me, I would probably hire an attorney and sue them for harassment if it could be done.

[Tasha405]

Or is she one of those who never had kids but knows everything? Thats what I always say about Oprah & Jenny Jones! LOL

I hope you get everything worked out soon so they will leave you alone. Good luck. :)

[metro]

thanks for the great suggestions guys! i really appreciate them! yes i thought she was out of line also, if you think she's bad you should have met the first one we had! at one visit she told my husband and i she was taking our son away, then after we both proceeded to burst into tears, said good i got what i wanted. then proceeded to tell us she wasn't taking our son away but just wanted to see how we would react to that. she was fired not to long after that. i myself am not a big fan of dcf either. but i am just going to do whatever they ask and hope it's good enough. this particular case worker who came by today brought someone with her and i think she was being observed, so i think that's why she was acting like that. i dunno. but anyways thanks again guys! it great to have someone to vent to!

[MamaFairal]

this has been an on-going case for 2 yrs? WHY???
Most cases are either closed or resolved within that amount of time arent they??
JMHO

[metro]

oh yes it was supposed to be closed by sep 11 of last year. but since the first few caseworkers we've had haven't gone by state guidelines correctly, and the case has to be open a certain amount of time or something like that. our attorney said there isn't anything we could do about it because the case worker that orignially messed up our case so bad was fired. so we've basically been screwed, badly.

[justinenycole26]

ugh! well almost 2 years ago something happened and my son got hurt. and of course dcf opened an investigation. well the case is soon to be closed. nothing was found of course.

I don't understand. Someone reported me for some made up stuff. The caseworker came to my house one time, said it was obvious they were lying and left. The case was closed right then and I never heard from them again.

If nothing was found, why is the case still open?

If you are co-sleeping, tell them so. But I do believe that one of the requirements DCF has (at least in Missouri) is that each child has their own bed available to them. Even of they don't sleep in it. So pacify them, get him a bed and put it up. If you want him to sleep with you, fine, but for now, play by their rules and put a bed up for him.

BTW, how old is your son?

[twinkiesmom]

just remember, u got maybe a month at the most to deal w/this yet. + a home visit here n there. In the meantime, do 'yes maam, no sir' just to get it done. They find one leaf outta place the next time they come to your home . . . . they'll reopen your case. lol {{hugs}}

[Army-Mom]

I dont see anything wrong with a family bed and it wont ruin them if that was the case my kids would have been doomed...My kids are normal and well adjusted ...the two boys have never given me a minutes trouble. I think that it helped my kids as that made us all close we would lay in bed after showers and watch tv and go to sleep no nightmares..as they got about 2 & 4 we sit a twin bed up in the room also..so if they wanted to sleep there..and then when the youngest turned 3 the boys got there own bedroom even tho some morning i would wake up and have two pillows and two blanket on the floor...
hugs,
Marcia..

[metro]

I don't understand. Someone reported me for some made up stuff. The caseworker came to my house one time, said it was obvious they were lying and left. The case was closed right then and I never heard from them again.

If nothing was found, why is the case still open?

If you are co-sleeping, tell them so. But I do believe that one of the requirements DCF has (at least in Missouri) is that each child has their own bed available to them. Even of they don't sleep in it. So pacify them, get him a bed and put it up. If you want him to sleep with you, fine, but for now, play by their rules and put a bed up for him.

BTW, how old is your son?


because in the begining they was also an open criminal case against my husband for this, but the case was just closed and the charges dropped. they found that he had no part in what happened,as we all knew. so now they are closing the case soon. well we had ordered him a toddler bed about a week ago because we gave his crib away, and he was trying to climb out of it! we ordered it before we even gave the crib away in hopes that it would be here so he didn't have to sleep with us. but the bed just hasn't got here yet. and i told her that and she was still rude about it. my son is 19 months.

[metro]

just remember, u got maybe a month at the most to deal w/this yet. + a home visit here n there. In the meantime, do 'yes maam, no sir' just to get it done. They find one leaf outta place the next time they come to your home . . . . they'll reopen your case. lol {{hugs}}
oh yes i know, and i am sooo happy now that i can see an end in sight. and as always i will do whatever they ask me to without arguement to them about it. i just have to keep my mouth shut and mind my p's and q's. thanks for your comments!

[momfromTN]

oh yes i know, and i am sooo happy now that i can see an end in sight. and as always i will do whatever they ask me to without arguement to them about it. i just have to keep my mouth shut and mind my p's and q's. thanks for your comments!


Isn't it sad that you can be harassed for 2 YEARS over something proven to be incorrect, and yet a lot of true abusers go unpunished because social workers, like yours, who have no sense and no life, have to go around terrorizing people?

[bigbunny]

oh,i feel for you.my cousin had dcf in her life and still does,2 years now i beleve,.she had to be supervised,go to court,has home visits,go to a drug program,and they charged her hubby also saying he knew she had xanax,well duh,it was prescribed for bedtime!anyhow,its a nightmare to get them out of your life,she does urine tests everything.she is clean,but she still has to go.even her worker says its rediculous,says they are wasting their time on her,when they can be working on reports of abuse,ect.,and everything is fine.good luck to you! oh and i got my son a bed at two,he slept with me till he was 5!

[MamaFairal]

ugh! well almost 2 years ago something happened and my son got hurt.


We're not getting the whole story here people.......it happened 2 yrs ago but the child is 19 mos old???

Why post in a public forum if your not gonna tell us what happened??
JMHO

[VALENA-)45]

Good morning. I had a dcf case years ago. they are hounds from h#ll. do whatever they say and get them out of your life, cause you can't do anything with them in it. they are psita. my sons slept with me until they were about 2 years old, or when the other one got a bed and they slept together. i was never scared of rolling over on them cause i knew they were there when i went to sleep. once you get dcf, out of your life, have a party, cause you will be free. i am sorry your having such a hard time with them. have a nice day.

[metro]

We're not getting the whole story here people.......it happened 2 yrs ago but the child is 19 mos old???

Why post in a public forum if your not gonna tell us what happened??
JMHO

it happpened ALMOST 2 years ago