I am SO p*ssed!!!

[justme23]

Today was hubbys pay day. It is 'bill paying' pay day... which I usually procrastinate on until they are calling and saying 'pay your bills or we're gonna shut it off'... Ok, well great, so TODAY I decide to pay the bills ON TIME... mostly because we are trying to buy a house and our credit already sucks so if I can do ANYTHING to try and make it better from here on out, I'm going to try to (I have been reading the Fannie Mae Foundation pamplets and it specifies that mortage ppl look specifically at when you pay your bills and if you pay them on time because that's a big indication on whether you are worthy of a loan... he keeps telling me I'm not trying to help, so I was trying to show him that I am trying to help, in any way possible!). So I call him downstairs to ask him how much the phone bill is and he just starts jumping all down my @ss about how I just must be up to SOMETHING because I NEVER pay the bills on time... I'm sitting here thinking to myself about how PROUD he'll be that I took the initiative w/out having to be nagged and got the bills payed on time but nooooooooooooo he has to come downstairs and accuse me of being UP TO SOMETHING.... WTF IS WRONG W/ THIS FARKIN PICTURE?!?

I am so damned furious it isn't even funny... he b*tches when I have to be nagged and then he b*tches when I don't have to be... wtf am I doin wrong here? He wants me to get into the spirit of buying a house but hell, I couldn't even try to explain any of this to him he was so busy accusing me of doing god only knows what! How am I supposed to get into the spirit when this stuff happens?

Truth be told, he's been griping at me alot lately... Well I have been flying right so I KNOW it's not because I'm doing anything wrong... so part of me wonders if he has a guilty conscience. Which scares the crap out of me. I love this man w/ all my heart, I have put him through hell in the past and I have been trying to bust my ass to rectify the situation because I don't want to lose him... because he is the best thing that has EVER happened in my life ... because he is the only person who has stood by me and supported me through everything, even when I was making his life so miserable he didn't know how to go on and I am TRYING very hard to do everything in my power to show him that I am trying to change and it just doesn't seem good enough. I don't know what to do anymore.



As a P.S. if you're going to lecture me, pls be gentle... I've already heard it all and I already know that it's partially my fault because of things I've done in the past so if you can't atleast be nice, pls don't post... I've cried enough for one day.

[JWWB2000]

Sorry he is giving you such a hard time.

[freeby4me]

For someone who does things in one way for so long it is a little "disturbing" when it changes. By that i mean weird ya know. He's prolly thinking your going to spend money on something you dont need. (you know how men are :rolleyes: )
I was like you used to be with the bills, paying them when I thought we had enough money, but now i've got a good system set up. Once you get organized you wont believe how much easier it'll be to pay them on-time! You're right, even a little bit helps when it comes to credit! One thing, The phone bill is one of the most important ones to make sure its paid on time. They put up notices about late payments all the time and those are the ones credit places check with first. Their idea is if you cant pay the phone on time how could you pay us? Odd, I know but hey what can ya do.
Just tell DH to pull his head outta his *** and give ya that money! You're doing good :D

[cab244]

I wouldn't worry to much about it. But the part about people doing something one way and then suddenly changing is probably part of it. Just take a deep breath, count to 10(silently) and try to explain to him that you are really trying to help and that you want to get a house as badly as he does. Alot of it is probably stress. Stress from his job of him being afraid that you might not get the house. Couple all that will testosterone and you get what you're getting now, a jackass. Remember hun, he's just a man. On average men have more difficulty expressing themselves than women and more often than not it can cause them additional frustration. Just try to be patient with him and don't take his harsh comments to seriously. I'm sure he doesn't really mean them.

[wyozozo]

I say hand him the checkbook and let him deal w/it!!!

[turbob]

Buying a house is a BIG step = maybe he is kind of scared of that? don't jump to thinking he is hiding something - maybe he is just hiding his fear? Most men are brought up to think they are not allowed to let anyone know they are scared or hurt, etc.

[Damnifiknw]

I doubt he has a guilty conscience, he's probably in shock because "TODAY I decide to pay the bills ON TIME." Give him time he'll adjust to your new ways. You can't expect him to believe you'll pay the bills on time after not doing so in the past.

Sit down and talk to him, communication is the key to a good relationship. Hopefully you'll be able to keep up with paying the bills on time so you can get a new home.

G'Luck!

[MsLynn]

I say hand him the checkbook and let him deal w/it!!!


thats what i say, i'd kill to have someone else worry about the bills for a while. it makes me physically ill every month till i get arrangements worked out with everyone. just kills me

[DivineMsDi]

I agree with the others who say he may just be stressed out about getting the house and saving the $$$. Been there, done that, too. Do you work? I don't, so sometimes my DH does the same thing. I usually pay the bills and he never says a word. Once in awhile he will do a flip out and gripe about how I don't give him a voice in what gets paid. I know HE is stressed about being the only one working.

He gets upset that we have to juggle bills like you do.

So, maybe you need to cut him, your dh, a little slack. JMO.

[zitra]

I say why did he have to "nag" you to pay the bills? If he knows how much the bills are and when they are due, instead of bi*ching and moaning about it why doesn't he just pay them himself?? If he knows you are bad about paying bills on time, instead of just griping at you about it, about not "helping" your situation with trying to get a house, why can't he just pay a bill himself?

[babymaniac]

Whatever his reasoning , he could have talked to you a whole lot nicer than he did !I will say though , my DH forgets a lot and puts things off and if one day he suddenly was all organized ,it would freak me out just a bit LOL

[YankeeMary]

I have a way to do our bills...as soon as they get in I just pay them...I don't care if it isn't due for 2 weeks...that way I never forget to pay a bill...I have a hard time remembering what is due when so I pay bills just about everyday...lol...talk about depressing...lol.

[Selice]

YankeeMary, I pay my bills exactly the same way. The bill arrives, its paid that same day.

On another note...we just bought a house (Closed at the end of Feb). This is one of the most single stressful things you and your guy will go through. My sweet loving fiancee went from prince to beast during our house buying phase. Its a huge amount of pressure to get your finances in order, and to get your credit score to look good. Just keep up trying to get those bills paid on time, and make that the norm. He'll appreciate that in the long run :)