Feeling down

[jcw]

I am just missing my daddy so much right now.He died last year on Apr.15. It was the Tuesday before good friday.On good friday we held his memorial service and scattered his ashes. Drove home to ky from arkansas on easter. I just can't get him off my mind tonight. I miss him so much.Mom lives at our place now so I try to not let it show to much.God I miss him so much and I just want to be able to give him a hug.

[Tracy'sMom]

I know You are feeling down cause You miss Him but think about the good times. This helps me when I think of loved ones that have gone on. Think of the things that He did that made You laugh. I know its hard. I havent lost my Daddy but I have lost really close loved ones(ie. my brother).

[Faithfully]

I lost my Daddy 7 years ago, Apr. 3, and I know how you feel. I think about him, and miss him everyday. I pray that God gives you comfort at this difficult time. {{{{hugs}}}}

[hmkejma]

((( jcw)))

[sea-shell]

I also know how you feel - I lost my mom. Some days it feels like I will never be able to get a grip on it. :(

[erwinmst]

Hugs to you. I know how you feel as well. I lost my father going on 2 years this May. I wish I could hug my dad as well. When I really get to thinking about my dad alot, I seem to dream about him, which makes me feel more comforted. Just remember what a wonderful person your dad was.

[JKATHERINE]

(((JCW))) I know how you feel too. I lost my dad at the age of 17, a little over 6 years ago (March 13, 1998). I miss him everyday. There's nothing I can say to take away your pain, but do know that it does get a little better as time wears on.

[schsa]

Be sure that you think of all of the wonderful things he did for you and how he made you into the person that you are. You can still talk to him even if you can't see him, and he is listening to you.

[llbriteyes]

I am just missing my daddy so much right now.He died last year on Apr.15. It was the Tuesday before good friday.On good friday we held his memorial service and scattered his ashes. Drove home to ky from arkansas on easter. I just can't get him off my mind tonight. I miss him so much.Mom lives at our place now so I try to not let it show to much.God I miss him so much and I just want to be able to give him a hug.

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain. I'm glad your mom lives with you escpecially for the emotional support... I would advise you, though, to show it, and share your feelings with your mom.

Be good to yourself.

Linda

[AngelGrim]

I hope your feeling a little better now, ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) and maybe give your mom a big hug in case she is feeling the same way and not showing it:)

[kaylaandbrittanysmom]

(((((jcw)))))

I know it is tough.April 1, made 11 years my dad has been gone.I understand the feeling of wanting to give him a hug.Do share your feelings with your mom,she is still grieving also.I spent the anniversary of my dad's passing with my mom and it did seem to help both of us to talk about it.

If you ever need to talk,please feel free to pm me.

[mlayton1994]

((hugs)). I know how you feel I lost my dad this past August 26th. pm me if you need to talk.

[peaceluver]

((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

[bngomom]

Maybe your Mom feels the same way and it would be a good time to talk and grieve for your Dad.

[JazzMama]

Big, Big ((HUGS)) to you.

[Dolly<3]

(((((JCW))))) It would be so hard for me too. :(

[jcw]

Thanks guys. Been trying to stay busy with the grand kids today so that helped. Mom isn't doing good at all. That's why I try to not let her see how much it's bothering me. She wakes herself up crying in her sleep and all. She knows it really getting me too but if she sees it , it really upsets her. Most of the time I have to play the tough one. I appreciate each and every one of you.hugs to you all

[Gherky]

{{{{{hugs to you}}}}}

[Denise1972]

I lost my dad a little over 2 years ago. Feb 20, 2002. I was 6 months pregnant with my first and only child that I will probally ever have. (Dont think I can have anymore, was lucky to have her) It was devastating going to the funeral and feeling my baby kick, knowing she will never know how much of a kind loving man he was. My dad was my world. I miss him so much. I wish I could hug him too. Funny thing is.. I had this candle that I had forever. He loved candles also... The same moment that he died, my candle burned down. I didnt know this till about an hour later that my sister came over and told me the bad news. I was going to go see him that weekend... But I didnt know it was going to be at his funeral. :( Sorry to go on, but I am pretty blue tonight. DH father had a heart attack last night and had to have bypass surgery, and the memories of my dad dying came flooding back.. It hurts so much. :( Thanks for listening.

[jcw]

Thanks again, you guys are the best and most caring people.

(((((Denise 1972))))) Bless your heart. I hope your dh dad recovers fully and quickly. Stuff like that happening seems to bring the bad memories back doesn't it.

[Damnifiknw]

I know how you feel, JCW..My father passed away May 24, 2002. I still haven't came to grips with it yet. (I was there giving my father CPR when he had a massive heart attack. It pisses me off because I couldn't save him. There was nothing I could do to bring him back, I didn't give up trying.) I haven't allowed myself to grieve because I was the one to hold everyone together. Just as you said, "Playing the tough one."

Denise Sorry about your DH's father, hope he gets well.

Hugs to all of you who lost a loved one.

[VALENA-)45]

I Lost Both My Mother And My Father, And I Think Of Them All The Time. It Gets Bad When Mothers And Fathers Day, Comes. And Their Birthdays. I Feel So Sad, And Bad That My Sweetie Tries To Make It Up To Me. I Am Truly Sorry For Everyones Loss.

[jcw]

(((((Damnifiknw )))) I'm sure you did all you could do.
((((((((VALENA)))))) It must be so hard with them both gone.

[DivineMsDi]

Maybe you can honor his memory every time this year. Some religions do that. The Catholics will say mass for people who died. Or you can go in a church and light a candle, even if you are not that religion. Many people honor the memory of a passed on loved one around the time they died.

I always think of my MIL July 30, 1995 when she died. And on Sept. 5, her birthday.

I hope your memories will comfort you.

[babymaniac]

Hugs to all of y'all that have lost your Daddy.Mine died when I was only 7 and I still think about him every single day. I don't think you ever stop hurting about losing your Daddy ( at least I haven't) but it does get a little easier to deal with as the years go by.And eventually ,you are able to smile more when you remember him and not break down in tears so much.((((jcw)))

[nanha]

I lost my mother on St. Patricks day in '95. It was a nightmare happening. I was with her in the hospital when she died and I knew I had done all I could, but I kept thinking, why wasn't I just smarter so I could have saved her. But she had a stroke and couldn't walk and knew she was so active that it would have been a nightmare for her. But the selfish part of me still wanted her and I still do. I also still had my Dad and I knew I needed to be stong for him. I lost my Dad 9 weeks ago and I have crumbled. I no longer have anyone I have to be stong for. I cry and cry and cry. He was in Baptist Hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas. He had IV's, catherter, and such attached to him and had been trying to crawl out of his bed. I had been staying 24/7 with him for 6 weeks in hospital, but had been living with him for 6 months to take care of him. He had a little poodle he loved so much, got a call from the lady taking care of the poodle, that poodle was in bad shape. I called vet. Had to have poodle at vet a 8.a.m. the next morning. That night Dad kept trying to crawl over the rails and I kept stopping him. The nurse gave him a calming shot at 3 a.m. At 6 I kissed him and told him I am going to go get dog and take to vet. he smiles at me. I ask RN and LPN to please keep and eye on him and not let him crawl out of bed. They say ok. I go get dog and take to vet and get back to hostipal by 8 and he is dead. One nurse said it was from trying to crawl out of bed. Of course that is not what is on death cirtificate. I blame myself, because I knew the nurses were incompetent. I buried Dad on a Tuesday and his little poodle two days later. I made a wrong choice to take his poodle to the vet and leave my Dad in their hands. Believe me I am paying everyday. I made the wrong choice and hate myself for it. I miss him so much. I have had so many people say sue the hospital etc. but you see it wasn't their Dad it was mine and I am the one that should have been smart enough to know not to leave him. I knew they didn't care and were not competent and I am the one that left him in their hands. I blame me and me alone. I relive it a hundred times a day.

I am sorry for your pain jcw and I know I probably haven't been much help. I never come into this part of BBS and tonight I did for the first time and saw your post. The feeling down made me read it, because I was certainly feeling down. Then driving from Arkansas to Ky and losing your Dad. Just too many common threads. I too hope it gets easier and I am sorry for your loss. Cherish your Mom. Make every moment count.

[jcw]

((((((((nanaha))))))) I am so sorry about your dad. Don't blame yourself, it was his time to go and I'm sure it would have happened if you were there or not. That's sad about his dog. I'm sure that was really hard on you too. My dad was at that hospital a couple of times too. I haven't went back to Arkansas since he died. We scattered his ashes close to where he died. We scattered them close to Nimrod damn by Perryville Arkansas. He was a gate attendant at the campground there. We did everything like he wanted us to. He wanted to be cremated and his ashes at Nimrod cause he loved that place.We scattered them by a big rock that looks like an old fashion headstone. It overlooks the lake .It's a beautiful spot but I would like a grave to visit and put flowers on. I have a stepping stone I'm going to paint and make a memorial spot in my yard with flowers and all. Someday I want to go back to Nimrod and see "his" spot again but so far I haven't been able to.We did plant some dogwood and redbud trees around that rock. The corps of engineers broke a few rules for us since he worked there. Usually you're not allowed to do that stuff in the parks. The rangers were watering the trees trying to make sure they lived and I'm certain they are keeping that spot well cared for.Guess I'm rambling so I'll shut up but I hope it gets easier for you and please don't think you could have did anything. When it's someone's time to go nothing can stop it. Hugs to you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[PrncsNYC]

I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. (hugs)

[sivohdarba]

I know how you feel. I lost my mom 9 years ago, and the holidays will never be the same again. She was the glue that kept the family together...especially at holidays.

Now my dad and brothers and I hardly ever see or talk to each other and today I am missing her (and them) soooooo much!

Family dynamics change so much once someone dies. I am sending you hugs and good vibes hon. I am sorry for your loss.

I have found that some holidays are better than others. Sometimes the lonliness and yearning sets in, and sometimes I can cherish the memories. I never know from holiday to holiday and that is the hard part.

Give your mom a big ol' hug and tell her you love her and speak freely about your dad. I am most positive she is also missing him and thinking back to all the Easter's you all had a whole and complete family and feeling a little down herself.
I wish you peace..... :)