silvermist
04-04-2004, 04:36 PM
It's been kinda awful especially yesterday. If some of you saw my post in off topic you'd know what happened to the bird. It especially has an attachment to me of all people and doesn't really go on other family members unless it's prodded alot so it just worries me soooo much like I can't describe. Most anxiety, worry, I've felt in a REALLY long time...
Before that happened though I had went shopping and that made me feel more depressed. I blew about 200... :( and wish I could take that back... lol Luckily it's not too major as I do have a lil over 3,000 in savings but it could have been put to alot better use as saving up more. It's just like a habit whenever I feel depressed I shop but in the end it makes me feel alot worse.
Than when I came home I had to climb through a window the size of a vent basically. I even had to take off my shoe to squeeze through and climb on top of flimsy garbage can. Took me about 25 minutes. I checked basement, windows, everywhere.... This was only window that could be slid open and it was rather high up like imagaine a small window that slides over a kitchen sink. Really small lol but somehow I managed in. I had the keys of course, just the screen door is messed up...
Also to add to that is long week for work since it's easter. Working now till 9:30 till 5:30 till thursday. Than friday till 6. Than saturday all day. Thats about 45 hours I'm estimating. The highest I've ever had for one week which included overtime was 48 hours. That was rather stressfull but now to add to that is the parrot problem and the problem just seems alot huger now with feelings of guilt... It's the worst I've felt in awhile and all I feel is things either going downhill or stable but not up any higher.
Hopefully this week is soon over. Hopefully the bird ends up ok. It's just anything to do with blood or anything with other people/animals freaks and panics me out. Animals kinda of worse since harder to get care from them and you can't hear them talk or say how they are feeling. If it was me I wouldn't feel this bad but since its not me I do..
Just needed to vent. Thanks.
Before that happened though I had went shopping and that made me feel more depressed. I blew about 200... :( and wish I could take that back... lol Luckily it's not too major as I do have a lil over 3,000 in savings but it could have been put to alot better use as saving up more. It's just like a habit whenever I feel depressed I shop but in the end it makes me feel alot worse.
Than when I came home I had to climb through a window the size of a vent basically. I even had to take off my shoe to squeeze through and climb on top of flimsy garbage can. Took me about 25 minutes. I checked basement, windows, everywhere.... This was only window that could be slid open and it was rather high up like imagaine a small window that slides over a kitchen sink. Really small lol but somehow I managed in. I had the keys of course, just the screen door is messed up...
Also to add to that is long week for work since it's easter. Working now till 9:30 till 5:30 till thursday. Than friday till 6. Than saturday all day. Thats about 45 hours I'm estimating. The highest I've ever had for one week which included overtime was 48 hours. That was rather stressfull but now to add to that is the parrot problem and the problem just seems alot huger now with feelings of guilt... It's the worst I've felt in awhile and all I feel is things either going downhill or stable but not up any higher.
Hopefully this week is soon over. Hopefully the bird ends up ok. It's just anything to do with blood or anything with other people/animals freaks and panics me out. Animals kinda of worse since harder to get care from them and you can't hear them talk or say how they are feeling. If it was me I wouldn't feel this bad but since its not me I do..
Just needed to vent. Thanks.