tsquared
03-12-2004, 04:52 AM
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to alter
the worship service, and, ask the congregation to come up with more money than
they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was
annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been
brought in at the last minute.
The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the
service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to
play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the
service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we
are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we
expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
$100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled
Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
HYMNS FOR ALL THINGS:
The Dentist's Hymn:........................Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn.......................There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn:......................... The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn:.......................... Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn:..........................There's a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn:................... Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn:...................... Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn.................... I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn:........................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn:..................Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn:.................... Sweet Bye and Bye
The Realtor's hymn:.........................I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn...... He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn:........................ The Great Physician
AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns!:
-----45mph....................God Will Take Care of You
-----55mph....................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
-----65mph....................Nearer My God To Thee
-----75mph....................Nearer Still Nearer
-----85mph....................This World Is Not My Home
-----95mph....................Lord, I'm Coming Home
-----Over 100mph.........Precious Memories
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
Amen
the worship service, and, ask the congregation to come up with more money than
they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was
annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been
brought in at the last minute.
The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the
service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to
play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the
service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we
are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we
expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
$100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled
Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
HYMNS FOR ALL THINGS:
The Dentist's Hymn:........................Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn.......................There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn:......................... The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn:.......................... Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn:..........................There's a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn:................... Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn:...................... Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn.................... I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn:........................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn:..................Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn:.................... Sweet Bye and Bye
The Realtor's hymn:.........................I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn...... He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn:........................ The Great Physician
AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns!:
-----45mph....................God Will Take Care of You
-----55mph....................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
-----65mph....................Nearer My God To Thee
-----75mph....................Nearer Still Nearer
-----85mph....................This World Is Not My Home
-----95mph....................Lord, I'm Coming Home
-----Over 100mph.........Precious Memories
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
Amen