going crazy without my kids

[buttershots21]

I just have to vent. I left my boyfriend of 7 years in July. He was controlling and abusive to me, but never hurt our kids. I have a &yr old boy whos not his and a 3 yr old girl who is. When I left, he said he'd take care of the kids until I got my own place, then he'd give them back. It took me 6 weeks,and the day I moved in, he served me custody papers on our daughter. I told him I didn't want to separat the kids, but I had no choice, and for him to give me my son back. He avoided me for a couple of weeks, then after 63 days of me being gone, served me with guardianship papers saying he was suing me for my son! He had to wait until the 63 days were up. So Ive gone to court 3 times and finally if im a good little girl I get him back at the end of the school year. And to top it all off, I've found the man i want to spend the rest of my life with, but because he broke into a house in 1989, and it was a felony, the judge has ordered that if I want to have my son back i can't have any contact with him. I am so furious that a man who is abusive, a drug user and dealer can get away with this, when all i was tring to do was the right thing. Now i see how rapists and murderers can get away with it, because the court system is so screwed up! thanks for listening, im going crazy!

[MamaFairal]

He sued you for custody of a child that is not even his????

Wow....all i can say is good luck to ya!

[buttershots21]

Hes suing on the grounds of "equitable dad" meaning that even though hes not biologicaly his, he's raised him since infancy. And what I didn't know then is that if you leave a child in anyones care for 63 days without giving them a power of attorny that covers everything, not just medical because i did that, they can sue for guardianship. Crazy huh?

[kriskay]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear you are going through all of that. It sounds like you may need to consult an attorney if you are going to get your kids back.

[teenies*mom]

Wow - I miss Teenie when she goes to her dads everything weekend, I couldn't imagine being in your shoes.....
I would consult with a lawyer and have a social worker go over to his place to see how he lives because he doesn't sound like a real good father if he is into drugs and all that. I don't have any other advice either just good luck and I have my fingers crossed you get your kids back

[sharinbo]

Originally posted by buttershots21
Hes suing on the grounds of "equitable dad" meaning that even though hes not biologicaly his, he's raised him since infancy. And what I didn't know then is that if you leave a child in anyones care for 63 days without giving them a power of attorny that covers everything, not just medical because i did that, they can sue for guardianship. Crazy huh?

Wow, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I wish I had some advice, but all I can offer is HUGS!
I've never heard of the 63 day thing. Interesting. I've had my teenage brothers living with my fiance and I for a couple years and for the last 7 months or so, our mom and their dad have had their own place, leaving the kids here. We are struggling trying to get permission from them to put the boys on our health insurance, and even being able to sign permission slips for stuff. It's a mess. I'll have to look into this...

[lassss]

I don't know the whole story but why in heaven would you leave your children even if you left the relationship? It sounds like you were the one who wanted out and had the time to find a job and an apt before leaving him. Your children are the most important people in your life, think of them first before jumping into any relationships, take one step at a time and concentrate on getting them back first and hire a good lawyer

[Kelsey1224]

I'm sorry you are going through this and hope you get custody of your children. They MUST be your first priority. I'm not sure why you would want to be around someone who was a convicted felon...but I guess if he has gotten his life back together...who am I to judge?

If you ex is what you say, then you need to provide evidence of that to the court.

Personally, I wouldn't leave my children. Even if it meant that I took them out of their home to a shelter, it would have to be better than leaving them in the custody of someone who was "abusive, drug user and dealer".

However, I'm not flaming you for your actions. Hindsight is always 20/20.

You have to decide what your priority is...your son or this man. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of our children. That's the covenant we make when we bring children into this world.

Good luck!

[schsa]

Anytime a relationship ends with children involved, you have to protect and take the children with you or abandonment issues will come up. And the fact that you have found someone but they have a record is going against you as well. You have to make choices between your kids and this man.

[buttershots21]

First of all, he left me for almost a whole month with no food, money, or car, and we lived way out in the country. I left the kids with him because I took his word that he would give them back stupid me. I stayed with my mom who only lived in the next town, and when i got my car back i saw them every day. My mom has only a 1 bedroom house, so i slept on the couch. As far as my new man, he understands, and we are keeping low until all this is over. My kids are the most important thing to me and hindsite is 20*20. I do have a lawyer, and he is wonderfull, he's even helped me find a job. If I knew then what I know now, trust me I would have done everything differently, but now im doing the best i can. I'm a good person whos made some dumb choices, and this man was the worst of all.

[Faithfully]

Originally posted by lassss
I don't know the whole story but why in heaven would you leave your children even if you left the relationship? It sounds like you were the one who wanted out and had the time to find a job and an apt before leaving him. Your children are the most important people in your life, think of them first before jumping into any relationships, take one step at a time and concentrate on getting them back first and hire a good lawyer


You took the words right out of my mouth!

[ebgreen74]

Good luck to you. Wish we had your ex's lawyer because he/she sounds great. My husband's ex ditched her kids on us a long time ago and we've been told if she ever takes us to court to get them back, she might actually have a chance. Good for you, not good for us. I couldn't imagine leaving my kids ever, much less with a drug user/dealer. I hope everything works out best for those kids.

[Faithfully]

Originally posted by Kelsey1224
I'm sorry you are going through this and hope you get custody of your children. They MUST be your first priority. I'm not sure why you would want to be around someone who was a convicted felon...but I guess if he has gotten his life back together...who am I to judge?

If you ex is what you say, then you need to provide evidence of that to the court.

Personally, I wouldn't leave my children. Even if it meant that I took them out of their home to a shelter, it would have to be better than leaving them in the custody of someone who was "abusive, drug user and dealer".

However, I'm not flaming you for your actions. Hindsight is always 20/20.

You have to decide what your priority is...your son or this man. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of our children. That's the covenant we make when we bring children into this world.

Good luck!


I totally agree with you too!:D {{Kelsey}}