Child custody questions

[Surfergal]

My DB is going to court to get custody of his 14yr old son. He is single but owns a home and has been very very involved in the sons life since the divorce. has him 2-3 days weekly. He has given the ex $$ on many occasions over and above child support. Fixed her cars, plumbing and furnace etc in addition to chld support. The child wants to live with him as he has many freinds in DB city and wants to go to school with them The ex and new husband live in a trailer court where no kids his age live, and the kid is teased about being "trailer trash" Normally I would be fully for moms getting custody, but both the ex and new hubby have drinking problems and have a hard time keeping jobs. This keeps DB awake at bight worrying about the kids safety. Since the child wants to live with Db, I always thought they would be allowed to choose at a certain age. But not in our area. now DB is paying big bucks to a lawyer on his mechanics salary to fight for the kid because The ref the family court sent out recommended no change in custody. Now DB lawyer wants him to prepare answers for court case - this one point is strange - not sure what it asks ("The permanence as a family unit, of the existing custodial home or homes.") is this referring to the ex? should he say bad things about her. The ex is very very hard to get along with, but her bew nubby and DB get along ok. She continually threatens to move so far away my db would only see the kid once in a year... Any sites to help?

[justme23]

I have no answers but I will be praying that all works out for your DB and his son.

[itsmetiggy]

well i know here the judge would rather have both parents share custody "shared parental responsibility" he shouldn't bad mouth her if he has proof to back up what he says that might be different but he has to be careful that it doesn't look like he will turn his son away from his mom..the judge will be more apt to go with whoever will allow open relationship with the other parent..

[schsa]

At 14 the son should be able to choose where he wants to live. Most states let children of a certain age choose the parent they want to live with. I would think that your DB had a good chance of getting custody.

[justmehere]

I'm surprised the attorney for your DB hasnt requested the judge on the case have a closed conference with the son, I see that lot around here, esp. if the child is old enough to understand what is going on?
If not it will prolly come down too, father fighting the mother for his son's custody, again around here that is pretty much how it works, this can be a drawn-out court case and alot of money, but it would really help if the attorney could get the judge to have a coference with the son in the matter.
Good luck, :)

[Surfergal]

Thanks all-apparantly I got only part pf the story. the lawyer has been telling him to stop the case, as the childs wishes mean nothing in our county. he has slim chance of winning. My brother only kept going becauase his son kept begging him to keep trying. DN really dislikes his moms step dad and is stuck home with the guy night after nite, while mom works. All the guy does is sit around watching his tv- he will not help with homework, run to store for needed school supplies or anything