I'm being serious for a change and need advice...

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

Last January I introduced my best friend to this girl that I worked with. The only reason the two of them agreed to go to dinner in the first place was to shut me up. Things worked better than I even dreamed!!! Now keep in mind I talked on the phone to my best friend on the average of 3 hours a day when he was gone (because of work). Well all of a sudden the first part of June he quit calling, wouldn't return my calls. The girl quit talking to me at work. Well my best friend finally confronted me one day demanding why I stubbed his girlfriend. BTW: NEVER happened. Well fast forward to last Saturday...I go outside at work to smoke and there's the girl. She informs me that they are getting married on 3/28 and my best friend would like for me to be at the wedding. I am so hurt and confused. Should I go to the wedding or not? I love my best friend with all my heart and I just want him to be happy. But I don't think this is going to work. So far part of his family doesn't like her. AND he gave up a job that he made $75,000 a year because his girlfriend didn't like it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. TIA!!!

[peaceluver]

That is a hard one, but I say go and show your support to your friend.

[YankeeMary]

I am unsure as to whether you should go or not...I think I'd wait for the invitation before I even would consider going...but I have a question for you...where did he use to work, I would love to go apply for that job..$75,000 alot to walk away from.

[Damnifiknw]

Yeah, $75,000 is a lot to walk away from, they say love makes people stupid. I guess that prove it right there.

I'd wait for an invitation before even giving it a second thought.

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

Yankeemary...you wouldn't want his old job. It was a long distance trucking carrying haz-mat. He LOVED it, though. I do agree with you guys. Thanks a million for all your help!!!

[Dolly<3]

I'd go just to be supportive, but it was really mean to quit talking to you (both of them) like they did. Did you ask them about that? I think it's unfair for them to expect you to pretend everything's fine when they both started treating you like that.

If you can let that go and forget about it, go to their wedding and pretend it never happened. If you can't and don't want a friend like that then let him know. Maybe you can talk to him about it. What if she lied to him about something b/c she was jealous of your friendship? :eek: He should know about that before they get married.

[FrenchBred]

EDITED.... hey Frenchbred, watch your next Cable bill, for an important announcement about internet harrassment!!!

[justinenycole26]

Frenchbred, do you get some kind of kick out of causing trouble?? Your crappy attitude and holier-than thou rhetoric is getting tired.

[andreame70]

I think what I would do first is to get together with both of them and find out what this whole "stubbed his girlfriend" thing is all about. One thing that came to mind is that maybe the girl is now jealous of the relationship that you have with him, since she has fallen for him. She probably won't admit it, but it sounds like she is trying to throw some problems out there to distance the two of you. Once you get to the bottom of that, maybe things will be smoothed over enough that you will feel comfortable going to the wedding.

I know that it is very hard to maintain a good relationship when one of the parties is a long distance trucker. Maybe she let him know that she didn't like the fact that he was gone so much, there is nothing wrong with letting the person you love know how you feel. It was ultimately his decision, and it is possible that he agreed the money was not worth it to them. Just because she said she didn't like it, doesn't mean that she "made" him quit.

Good luck,

Andrea

[VALENA-)45]

WETHER IT IS THE WHOLE STORY OR NOT, JENNIFERCATLADY, WROTE THE PART SHE NEEDED HELP WITH. I AGREE WITH ANDERA, THAT WOULD BE THE RIGHT THING TO DO. I WISH YOU LUCK, WITH WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO.

[lassss]

I think the girlfriend is now jealous of you....if she made him quit his job then I am betting she made him stop talking to you too....I can tell you right now this marriage won't last. She seems to need to control his life and he will get tired of it....so go to the wedding, have a great time and be there for him when he truly needs a friend.

[cinnamonch]

First of all I would have problems with her doing the inviting and not the Best Friend.

Secondly, this "stubbing" thing. You say the best friend confronted you but you didnt say whether or not you tried to clear the air as to why they both stopped talking to you. Until you clear the air with both of them (ie you all stopped talking to each other for whatever reason) I would stay away from their situation.

Strange that you would say you were happy they hit it off so well, but then in the same breath say that you dont think the marriage will work.

Could part of the problem be that you you find it hard to loose your best friend?

[freeby4me]

A wedding is a new beginning. I feel that with one of them coming to you and personally asking you to THEIR wedding means they really do care and want you to be apart of it. Whatever it was that has happened in the past, would you be willing to look past it and move forward if it meant gaining two good friends again? If you say yes then by all means go and show your support for them.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

First off, what's "stubbing"?

And if he believes you would do something like that,then maybe he wasn't your best friend.I would talk to him alone first,then both together.As for the wedding,I myself would go only if I got an invitation...who knows, she may start something at the wedding,like saying you were never invited.

[ezmoney163]

Go to the wedding and support your best friend. If the marriage doesn't work out at least he will know you were always there even if you do not support his choices. (((HUGZZ))))

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

The so-called snubbing incident: one day she supposedly sat across from me in the gazebo at work and I didn't talk to her. That never happened. When I talked to my best friend and told him that it never happened he seemed ok with it. Then a few minutes later he made a comment that Denise (the girlfriend) didn't talk to me because she didn't want to intrude on Robert & I. Robert is my better half! A few days after I "snubbed" her she "found out" that I went to the beach with my best friend. She proceeded to yell at him on the phone and broke up with him. I had no clue this happened and I ran into her in the ladies room and said hi. She proceeded to call me a liar and a F***** b*tch. At this point I'm still clueless to what's going on. I found out that she was upset that I "lied" about having a romantic relationship with my best friend. It NEVER happened. Yes, I went to the beach with him AND his whole family. And yes, I had told her about the beach before she even met him. I was showing her pictures of my best friend that were taken at the beach and I told her all about it. We went to the beach 8 months after my mom died.
A little background on my relationship with my best friend? He has been there for me thru the worst parts of my life and he's been there for the best parts. I just want him to be happy.
Andreame...you are right one that. She is very high maintanence.
Cinnamonch...one thing with my best friend, when she tells him to jump he's like how high on the way up. Also, I would rather lose my best friend than to see him unhappy. The ONLY thing I have ever wanted for him was to be TRUELY happy.
frenchbred...go find somewhere else to troll.

[schsa]

Go and be a friend to your friend. He may need you again and you want to keep the relationship open. Just because you don't like her doesn't mean that you can't still be there to support him.

Be a friend.

[AngelGrim]

sometimes you have to let people experience what they want but let them know you will be there no matter what just like he was for you. Maybe she is jealous, but that shouldn't be allowed to ruin your friendship. Good luck either way you go.:)

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

I just wanted to let everyone know how much I appreciate your help and advice!!! Smiles & Meows, Jen

[Kelsey1224]

Jen...I agree with everyone else. Take the high road and go to the wedding. I hope they are mailing invitations and that a verbal invite is not the extent of it.

His future wife sounds very insecure, but that will be for him to deal with.

Be his friend so that he knows that you are there for him when he needs you! Otherwise...celebrate his happiness with him.

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

Well, I got the official invitation today. It was hand delivered thru a third party. I guess I will go to show my support. Afterall, I do love my best friend with all my heart. He's been more of a brother to me than my real one. Thanks again for letting me whine, but more importantly....THANK YOU FOR ALL THE HELP & ADVICE!!!