Just got off the phone with the Principal, school bus problem (vent)

[andreame70]

First thing this morning, as my son (who is in Kindergarten) is getting ready to go to school, he tells me that he doesn't want to ride the bus any more. I asked him why, and he begins to tell me about a kid named Jonathan (4th grader) who is doing "some things that he shouldn't be doing." I start asking questions to find out what he meant and he tells me that Jonathan calls him and another little boy on the bus "Dick." I said "OK well, there are a lot of people who are named Dick, why do you think that is so bad?" He says "no Mom, he means it bad because he grabs his privates when he says it."

Not only that, but Nash continues on by telling me how this boy stands up on the bus, grabs his private area and asks other kids if they "want to touch his d*ck." At this point, I am pretty upset thinking that certainly there is a problem here, then Nash says that "Jonathan does something else too Mom." I asked him to tell me and he froze for a second, then said he didn't want to tell me. I explained that I needed to know, so he said reluctantly that Jonathan gets behind people and "tries to hump them." I said "he does what? What is that?" Of course I knew what he was saying, but I wanted to make sure that he knew what he was saying. So I asked him to show me what Jonathan does. He didn't want to show me, but finally, he stood up, grabbed his private area and started thrusting his hips back and forth and said, "he does this." This is the first time EVER that the word "hump" has come out of my child's mouth, except for the times that we have talked about a Camel having them on their backs! We do not use such words or actions in our home and I am pretty upset that this kid is doing this stuff.

I am not naive enough to think that kids are never going to be exposed to this kind of stuff, but come on! My son is only 6 and he should not be concerned about things like this!

I called the Principal a few minutes ago and told him what Nash had told me. The Principal has known my family for a long time and actually taught two of my younger brother's in school back in the early 90's. He is a very good man and he agrees that this is not something that should be happening. He told me that he would get to the bottom of it this morning and call me back to let me know what they did about it.

Thanks for reading and sorry to vent for so long. I am just one "ticked off" Mama this morning.

Andrea

[kvmj]

I would be so upset right now. Your son should not be exposed to anything like this. I have to wonder where the bus driver during all of this. Hope the principal fires her/him.

[Angelseyes28]

Originally posted by kvmj
I have to wonder where the bus driver during all of this. Hope the principal fires her/him.

OMG that was my first thought too! What the heck is the driver doing to not see what is going on?! GRRRRRRRRRR You have every right to be ticked andrea!
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[andreame70]

I wonder about the driver too. Certainly he would not knowingly allow this to happen, I hope not anyway. I talked to him at the beginning of the year. He is an older man, probably in his early 60's and he seemed very nice. His wife is the manager of the school cafeteria and I have met her too.

The only thing I can think is maybe the driver is concentrating on the road and is not paying much attention to what the students are doing in the back. If that is the case, then they need to find someone that can multitask. I do know that they have not had any problems with Nash on the bus. They started a monthly program to recognize good behavior on each of the school buses. So far this year, Nash has won twice for his bus number. He was given a certificate and they featured him in the monthly school newsletter.

I will post again when I hear back from the Principal.

Andrea

[queenangie]

I'm sorry this is happening to your son and the other kids on the bus. Let us know how this comes out.
Hugs,
Angie

[schsa]

Sounds like Jonathan has some much older brothers who are leading him astray. I wonder what his mother is going to say when she speaks to the principal and finds out what Jonathan has been doing.

A fourth grader should know better. He obvoiusly likes the shock value it gets from the other kids.

[Kelsey1224]

I'm glad the principal is taking your concerns seriously. This is some serious acting out on the part of this child and it might represent that Jonathan himself is the victim of child abuse.

[andreame70]

I just got the call back form the principal. He said that he went to the classroom and asked to speak to Nash. They went for a walk outside and he told Nash that I called the school to let them know about the problem on the bus. He said that Nash told him the same thing that he had told me.

The principal said that they went to the office and also talked to the bus driver. The driver told Nash that he was sorry for not realizing that there was a problem and he asked Nash to please let him know about things like this when they are happening, so that he can stop them right away. The principal and the driver both told him that they wanted him to continue riding the bus and that they thanked him for letting them know about the problem.

The principal also told me that he called in Jonathan and let him know that someone had complained about his behavior on the bus. The principal told him what had been reported and the child actually admitted to saying and doing those things. He told the child that it was not acceptable behavior and that if he heard about it happening again, he would be suspended off the bus for five days. After that, if it happened yet again, he would be suspended from school. The principal also told him that he was going to call his parents to let them know what happened.

The principal then apologized to me profusely and said that he would make sure that this kind of thing does not go on. I am very pleased with the swift action that he took. I knew that he would get to the bottom of it. He is really a great man and I am so glad that he is overseeing my son's school.

Again, thanks for listening, I really appreciate it.

Andrea

[Kelsey1224]

Wow... This is the system working as it should be.

I am still concerned for Jonathan. His actions are inappropriate and he must have learned the behavior from somewhere.

Andrea...you should also tell your son how proud you are of him. How wonderful that he felt comfortable enough to come to you and tell you the problems.

[Dolly<3]

Oopsie. Double.

[Dolly<3]

Originally posted by Kelsey1224
I'm glad the principal is taking your concerns seriously. This is some serious acting out on the part of this child and it might represent that Jonathan himself is the victim of child abuse.

Ditto

[andreame70]

Originally posted by Kelsey1224
Andrea...you should also tell your son how proud you are of him. How wonderful that he felt comfortable enough to come to you and tell you the problems.

Absolutely, I let him know this morning how proud of him I was, right after he told me. He will probably hear it again a few times this afternoon, LOL. I am so glad that he didn't think that Jonathan's actions were funny or cool. I have tried so hard since he was very small to make him understand that he can come to me or his Dad and tell us anything. It was confirmed to me this morning that he is comfortable doing that.


Andrea

[JWWB2000]

Sounds like you have a very good system in place at your son's school. (((Hugs))) hope it gets better from now on and it doesn't get any worse than what has happened!!

[twinkiesmom]

Originally posted by JWWB2000
Sounds like you have a very good system in place at your son's school. (((Hugs))) hope it gets better from now on and it doesn't get any worse than what has happened!!

Couldn't have said it better. Hope things work out!

[freeplease]

Sounds like Nash has earned himself a big old happy meal. :D
You must have been floored when you heard all of this. I know I'd be crazed if someone was messing around with my kids. I applaude your restaint.
Be grateful you have a school administrator that actually does his job. Ours would rather look the other way than actually earn his 125 thousand a year. I'm just grateful my DD only has a year and a half to go with this school.
Good luck to you, and a big pat on the back to your son!

[bpl76]

That is so great your principal took care of the issue in such a professional way. Personally I would write a letter of commendation about his actions to the Superintendent of Schools and also send a copy to the School Board. So often we forget to send GOOD letters to the higher ups but we are all too eager to send negative comments. That of course is just my opinion. I feel good actions should be addressed as well as bad ones.

[andreame70]

bpl76, I was thinking earlier this afternoon that I should write a letter to the school board about the way this whole thing was handled. I knew that since the principal has known my family for a long time that he would take care of it, but even so, he really did go above and beyond. I am going to write that letter in the morning. I am way too tired tonight!

Andrea

[bpl76]

Good Girl!!!!! I am proud of you!! It will make the Principal feel good and make the School Board and Superintendent proud that someone did something right for a change. It matters not if he has known your family for a long time or not. He did his job. That is what is important.

[Dizzyontheweb]

Great kid there. I do want to insert a word of caution about this:
"The driver told Nash that he was sorry for not realizing that there was a problem and he asked Nash to please let him know about things like this when they are happening, so that he can stop them right away."
Make sure you tell your son, there are ways to do so without the other kids knowing. It could be hard on him if they know he is telling on them.

[andreame70]

Yes, Dizzy, we talked about that this morning before he got on the bus. I told him that if he needed to tell the driver about a problem that happens in the morning, he should wait until they get to school and let everyone else get off the bus first. Then he should tell the driver about it, since only he and the driver would be there.
I also sent the driver a note this morning asking if he would mind sending me his phone number so that I can call him if there is a problem during the ride home.

Nash understands that he may have a problem with the child if he finds out that Nash told on him. He is aware that it may happen and he says he will let me know if the child threatens him or picks on him about it. I am hoping that it won't happen, but we will see.

[Dizzyontheweb]

great. i was worried. good luck ot you both

[flute]

good god principals making $125,000/year? daggum wish i lived in a well to do area like that, heck far, our assistant supers don't even make that much.

andrea, you are lucky to have a principal take this seriously. I had a condom thrown at me when I was in 8th grade (I was mortified, thought it landed in my bag, I didn't open that bag for hours) & our principal didn't care cus he didn't want it getting out that the school gave out condoms. (it was on the bus, this jerk found it & tossed it at me) :( What can you do, eh? :(

[ajksmom]

I'm glad that you got this handled. It must be nice to have a principal that seems to actually care about the kids he is supposed to be taking care of. The one at our school is a two faced jerk. I hope that the kid doesn't find out and pick on your son.

[kimmylg]

First of all, I am glad that the problem got worked out.

However, speaking as a bus driver of elementary kids, I get really tired of people who automatically want the bus driver fired when something happens on a school bus! Someone earlier in the thread asked what was the driver doing that he didn't notice the problem. Well, my guess was he was probably DRIVING!!!


People need to think about what it means to be the only adult on a bus full of 60-75 little kids with your back turned to them. We have to watch the road, watch out for all the impatient people who drive like idiots because they hate being behind a school bus, watch all the guages and all 5 mirrors, plus try to keep order with all those kids. It is not easy, let me tell you.

Also, especially with kindergartners, they don't usually tell you when something is wrong. You can't see them in your rear-view mirror because they are so small the seat hides them. I also know that there are some pretty slick kids out there that know exactly how to be bad on the bus without the driver seeing. And then, if we are lucky enough to catch something happening, we can't just stop in the middle of the highway to take care of it. We have to find a safe place to get of the road which is not all that easy to do in a city!

Sorry for the vent, but please, people think about what you're saying. It is not fair to want someone to lose their job when they are probably doing the best they can. Maybe some parents need to start pushing for monitors on the buses. It would be a tremendous help.

[Linus1223]

ITA with kimmylg.