I know I am not a momma, but I just don't understand!!!

[EgHunny]

I bought alot of stuff for my nephew (Ok I am hoping it is going to be a boy LOL). I went and bought a really nice diaper bag, a swing, and a intercom system. Well my brother thought it was really great, and loved it. Well my sil thought they were tasteless and cheap. Ummm ok... So I said fine, I will just either take them back, or sell them. Well come to find out, she has this Baby registry with Babies R US and everything on there is so freakin expensive. You would think she would know better, with 2 kids already. But since she thinks that we are rich, she wants everything that is really expensive, I guess. I don't get it.. Is it hormones, or is she really that crazy to think she will get all that really expensive stuff? Sorry if it sounds petty, but it really hurt my feelings when she told me that what I got was cheap. I didn't know that Graco was cheap. :( So if you need anything for babies, look in my FS list. I wouldve taken it back, but I figure it will do someone some good on here maybe.

Thanks for listening,
Jen :(

[AngelGrim]

I think your sil will have to learn the hard way, when she doesn't get what she wants your stuff will come back in her mind and maybe she will feel ashamed of herself that she refused them. Your very nice to have gotten her the stuff you did and heck with her if she doesn't appreciate it.

[Momof2totsand1teen]

That was very rude of your sil. I loved everything that family and friends bought for my babies, even tho it may not have been the exact thing I would have picked. It should of meant something to her because it was bought from the heart. Not to impress. I LOVED my GRACO swing and no, it is not a cheap brand.

Pregnancy is NOT an excuse for rudeness. It was very kind of you to have bought so much stuff.

[jcw]

well that was very rude of her. The mom needs to realize the gifts are for the baby not her and babies don't care about the brand. Guess I'm a bad grandma cause I bought the graco swing for my grandkids and they loved it.Sorry she hurt your feelings

[EgHunny]

Well this is technically my first time being a "real" aunt.. The two girls she has, are not my brothers, but I love them as my own. I am going to spoil this little boy like crazy because I am a tomboy :D So you can bet he is going to get, what he wants.. LOL But I spoil the girls too. I was looking at her list, and noticed a monitor/intercom that was 199.00... WTH? Who would buy that? But I told my mom I am not getting her anything. I will buy the baby some toys, for when my brother comes to visit, but other than that, she is on her own. My brother doesnt know why she is like this either. Maybe she will grow up, before the baby is born... I hope, or she probably wont have anything for it. Even her mother thought that was rude of her. I was in tears all day... But now I am just upset :(

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

Aww Jen...don't be upset.. If it makes you feel any better my brother and his wife are expecting their first and I had to hear about it from the town gossip. Of course, I will NEVER get to see the baby even though we only live 5 minutes apart. If you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me. Smiles & Meows, Jen

[Damnifiknw]

Sounds like you are describing one of my friends. She wanted everyone to spend tons of money on her baby. Needless to say, she didn't get what she wanted. :p

[twinkiesmom]

I wouldn't get her anything. And when she goes around to the family how rotten you are, U come back w/a 'I did spend quite a bit for the baby, but the the mother didn't think it was good enuf for her tastes and just shot me down.' This chick sounds like she's really stuck on herself. Just love the baby. That's how the baby will remember u. As a loving Aunt. Not cuz u got him a 'cheap' diaper bag. How f'ng crazy is that?

[EgHunny]

And to make my day even better, now my ex is being a total jerk, and treating as if I were a bug he could step on. I was there for him through all his gf probs, and now I am even more upset than this morning :(

[Dolly<3]

Sounds like your SIL wants people to get her things she can't afford. She'll be wishing she kept that intercom thingy you got her when no one gets her the $199 one and she can't afford it.

I'd want the best of the best too, but I'd greatfully take things people got me - especially if like you, they did it not bc they HAD to (like at a shower) but b/c they were excited about their new nephew (hopefully!).

[fatesfaery]

Both my grandkids had/have Graco strollers and neither was cheap.

I don't think I could register and expect people to spend a fortune on things for me. Maybe I'm just cheap, but I'd rather spend less on good quality (not just the most expensive) items and have my money go further.

I just think complaining about a gift is rude and tacky.

[momfromTN]

Hmmm...Third Child, yet registers for expensive things. Sounds a bit greedy to me. And rude to tell you what you bought was cheap. Heck, my mom bought stuff for mine at yard sales, but I didn't care. I was grateful not to have to buy it myself. But, honestly, I see nothing wrong with registering because people will ask and want an idea of what you need.

But, I have to ask, have you and your SIL had issues before this? From the tone of your post it sounds like it. And mind you, she may be the "B" on wheels like you say, so I am not criticizing you. If I were you I would tell her what she said was rude and hurtful, and be sure to say this in front of your brother.Confront her and get it all out.

But, take a little advice if you will: Don't go griping to your brother or the whole family about this. To do so may cause more harm and make SIL want to keep ya'll away even more.

[EgHunny]

We didn't have any problems before this. What hurt me the most was she did this infront of both hers and my family. If she would have came and told me, by myself, yeah I wouldve been hurt but I wouldnt have felt as embarrassed. I am just gunna get the baby some toys and things, and give her a rock... LOL Nah I wouldnt give her a rock. But thanks everyone for responding.

[flute]

why is she making a baby registry for a 2nd or 3rd child? that's not mannerly...

[brumzoo]

I cannot believe the nerve of some people! That was very sweet of you. I don't have any children yet, but I will not be registering for the most expensive things for mine when I do have them. I will be grateful for whatever I get! At least she showed her booty in front of everybody & hopefully they will not buy her the stuff, either.
I am sorry this happened to you.
Enjoy your baby nephew, though!:)

[momfromTN]

Originally posted by flute
why is she making a baby registry for a 2nd or 3rd child? that's not mannerly...

You know what Flute, you are correct. I guess I just saw the registry as a way for people who don't live near you but are interested and asking, to see what you need. But you are correct.

[JWWB2000]

I will never understand this one out. Is you SIL asking for a baby shower too?

[ibbygayle]

Everything she is doing is rude. By your third child you should have everything you need anyway. Most people don't have registries/showers after their first baby. She needs to get a clue and be grateful for what she gets because not everybody will be buying big things for a third baby maybe just outfits/toys, etc.

[momfromTN]

It is one thing to do a shower or registry if it has been MANY years since your last child and you gave away everything. But this chick sounds greedy.

[Willow]

What an ungrateful b!tch!!!!!

[jimorrison]

WOW i can think of many things to say about your Sil and none of them would be polite :mad:

[zitra]

When I had each of my children, we were living out of state, away from ALL family, and I really had no friends where we lived, because we hadn't been there that long. I didn't get a babyshower with either of my boys. We did get a few gifts for my son's (in the mail) from my MIL, and my SIL, but that's it. Hubby and I bought EVERYTHING the boys needed ourselves. If I had anyone who was as thoughtful as you in my family, who thought enough of us and our child, I would have been very grateful...I don't know it is hormones or what..but not only is she being ungrateful, she is being selfish. Hope you find someone who can use the items you purchased.

[zitra]

Originally posted by ibbygayle
Everything she is doing is rude. By your third child you should have everything you need anyway. Most people don't have registries/showers after their first baby. She needs to get a clue and be grateful for what she gets because not everybody will be buying big things for a third baby maybe just outfits/toys, etc.

I agree, she is ungrateful, but I think it depends on how old the other children are..my kids are 8 & 10, and if for some reason I became pregnant again (I don't plan on it), I would need to rebuy everything.
Also IMO a person who is goign to have a baby DOES NOT ask for a babyshower (that is just tacky IMO). Babyshowers should be thrown by a friend/family member, becuase they want to. I do have to say if I had another baby, I definately would have a babyshower. I really think whether you should have a babyshower for a second/third child should depend on how old the other children are, and whether you would have all of the baby stuff left (crib/recieving blankets/play pen etc.). Also no matter how many children you have if somone wants to throw you a shower, I say more power to them..In my family, usually (didn't happen in my case since we were away from home), family would throw a babyshower, for each child (no matter how many children there are already)..it's just like a family tradition.

[Anthill]

Is that my SIL??? She does the same thing. Expects the family to pay for stuff that they supposedly cant' afford etc. Well since this is our First child (We are having twins) I did register and they are throwing us a baby shower. I registered at BabieRus, because I thought of how convenient it would be for everyone, since our families live so far apart for everyone. We had no idea how expensive baby items were until you actually get there. I tried to find items in the middle or below but having twins it was hard. It took us almost 2 hours to pick out the stroller, we needed one that would work for twins. Also I have a big family, so usually when there is a shower whether it be a Bridal or Baby people usually go in on gifts. I needed two of a lot of stuff, and needed stuff to keep out my mom's and his mom's etc. In the summer when we first found out we were pregnant, we would go to Yard sales, and I got so much stuff. His Mom was mad that we were buying used stuff, but hey we get what we can afford, and there is nothing wrong w/ it. My SIL would never buy anthing used regardless of what it was nor would she accept anything used from people. Which is ridiculous if you ask me. She shops at Children's Place and then expects you too. I can't see spending $35.00 on a outfit that will only fit them a couple of months when you could go to Wal-Mart and get 3 outfits for one. And who is going to know????

[Kelsey1224]

I'm with Zitra on this one. If it's been a few years since she had her first two children...I can understand if she got rid of some stuff. Plus...some things just don't last through a third child.

However...she is incredibly rude, ungrateful, and tremendously hurtful. Obviously, she feels that everything is about her. Gifts are just that...a gift! If she didn't like what she received, it was her responsibility to exchange it for something she did like.

I'm sorry your feelings are hurt. You did an incredibly nice thing and it was rejected.

[amysusi]

I don't think it's totally your SIL being greedy by registering for expensive stuff (but by calling you cheap totally was). This last summer, I went to Babies R Us to get a friend some things from her registry, and more often than not, what she chose to put on there was the most expensive of all choices. Who did she think would get her that car seat when all the others in that store were $50-$100 cheaper? Alot of people think that the more it costs, the better it is, but it isn't always true. When it's your first child, I understand the thinking that money is no object, but by the time it's your 2, 3, ...you know a whole lot more. (and she's totally not a greedy person)

It would have been nice if someone would have thrown me a shower with this last one. A girl, after 2 boys. Not much can last through more than 2 kids, so we had to buy a new car seat, swing, bottles, sheets, etc. She's only the 2nd to use this crib, and the stroller (a Graco BTW) has seen many many many miles since our oldest was 2 months old. It was hard not to be jealous when so many around me were having there first, and there was always a shower to go to.

If I were expecting something expensive, I'd also be expecting to buy it myself!!

[schsa]

We had this little saying going on at my parents house at Christmas time,"You get what you get and you don't get upset".

It's fine that your SIL has registered somewhere. It is very incorrect of her to tell you to your face and in front of others that what you got does not meet her so called standards and therefore is worthless in her eyes and should be in those of the people around her. (see my little quote on the bottom. it sounds like her.)

Don't buy anything else for her or the baby. In her eyes whatever you get if it is not from BabiesRUs and on her list, it just won't be good enough. Don't play the game with her. Just don't do for her.

[Army-Mom]

I think what you did was a very sweet thing to do. I would have loved for someone to have given me something like that for my babies when they where born..you sound like a wonderful person. Some people are just plain rude. I am so sorry that you got your feelings hurt.
hugs,
Marcia

[ezmoney163]

Originally posted by flute
why is she making a baby registry for a 2nd or 3rd child? that's not mannerly...

What do you mean ??? I am unfamiliar with this. My first child was born 5 1/2 years before my 2nd child and I had a shower for both of them. My third child will only be 2 1/2 years younger so I prefer no shower, but I will make a registery for those of my family that want to buy the baby something. Like the type of bottles I will be using, diapers, etc. ( Not big furniture I have all that from 1 st baby), but all of my sil's whom have 2nd babies do this. Just incase someone would like to buy you something but have no idea what you already have, what your going to need, etc.

I personally think it is up to the family and friends of the individual weather of not they want to buy something for the baby (even if it is the 2nd,3rd, or 10th) I don't agree with it being unmannerly, to register for those people who choose to buy your baby something.

I do think though your sil is being a rude B word. I know there was a certain item I wanted when I was preggo with 1st ( an elecric/battery operated wind up swing) my freinds all went together and got me a manually winding swing, I was just as happy with it as I would have been with the other one, I was just greatful my friends thought of me and my new baby.

(((EgHunny)))It was so nice for you to buy her stuff. I am sorry she was not appreciative!! That is just plain ignorant!!
I am so sorry you have to deal with someone like this!! Bless your bro for being able to put up with her too.

[twinkiesmom]

Originally posted by zitra
Babyshowers should be thrown by a friend/family member, becuase they want to.

I would've loved a baby shower for my twins. But my mother didn't want to pay to feed my Dad's side of the family and my friends just don't have the cash to survive themselves. I still say don't get her anything. It will change her ungrateful mind once she gets nothing. U gotta be happy w/what u get IMO.

[MommyG3]

Eghunny, when I get pregnant again, I will let you know. You can spoil my next one rotten. I could care less where the gifts come from. ;) Just because someone registers somewhere does not mean you HAVE to give a gift from that place. You did a very sweet thing, and you SIL should be happy you gave anything at all. :D

BTW, for those who are talking about this being the 3rd child and all...I had a baby shower with all 3 of my children. The second one was small at my work. Just co-workers. The 3rd was 9 YEARS AFTER MY SECOND CHILD. Now, my mother told me it was usually if there was 7 years or more between the children that people throw another shower. Also, I was told by my preacher's wife that since my 3rd was DH's first child, they chose to give us one. It was another small one, but it was nice.

[zitra]

Originally posted by ezmoney163
What do you mean ??? I am unfamiliar with this. My first child was born 5 1/2 years before my 2nd child and I had a shower for both of them. My third child will only be 2 1/2 years younger so I prefer no shower, but I will make a registery for those of my family that want to buy the baby something. Like the type of bottles I will be using, diapers, etc. ( Not big furniture I have all that from 1 st baby), but all of my sil's whom have 2nd babies do this. Just incase someone would like to buy you something but have no idea what you already have, what your going to need, etc.

I personally think it is up to the family and friends of the individual weather of not they want to buy something for the baby (even if it is the 2nd,3rd, or 10th) I don't agree with it being unmannerly, to register for those people who choose to buy your baby something.

I do think though your sil is being a rude B word. I know there was a certain item I wanted when I was preggo with 1st ( an elecric/battery operated wind up swing) my freinds all went together and got me a manually winding swing, I was just as happy with it as I would have been with the other one, I was just greatful my friends thought of me and my new baby.

(((EgHunny)))It was so nice for you to buy her stuff. I am sorry she was not appreciative!! That is just plain ignorant!!
I am so sorry you have to deal with someone like this!! Bless your bro for being able to put up with her too.

I agree..I don't think it is unmannerly to make a registry for a second /third, 6th, or 7th etc. child...It would be rude to demand items from your list, nor do I find anythign wrong with having showers for 2 and 3rd children..things do not always last through 2nd and third children.

[zitra]

Originally posted by ezmoney163
What do you mean ??? I am unfamiliar with this. My first child was born 5 1/2 years before my 2nd child and I had a shower for both of them. My third child will only be 2 1/2 years younger so I prefer no shower, but I will make a registery for those of my family that want to buy the baby something. Like the type of bottles I will be using, diapers, etc. ( Not big furniture I have all that from 1 st baby), but all of my sil's whom have 2nd babies do this. Just incase someone would like to buy you something but have no idea what you already have, what your going to need, etc.

I personally think it is up to the family and friends of the individual weather of not they want to buy something for the baby (even if it is the 2nd,3rd, or 10th) I don't agree with it being unmannerly, to register for those people who choose to buy your baby something.

I do think though your sil is being a rude B word. I know there was a certain item I wanted when I was preggo with 1st ( an elecric/battery operated wind up swing) my freinds all went together and got me a manually winding swing, I was just as happy with it as I would have been with the other one, I was just greatful my friends thought of me and my new baby.

(((EgHunny)))It was so nice for you to buy her stuff. I am sorry she was not appreciative!! That is just plain ignorant!!
I am so sorry you have to deal with someone like this!! Bless your bro for being able to put up with her too.



Originally posted by ezmoney163
What do you mean ??? I am unfamiliar with this. My first child was born 5 1/2 years before my 2nd child and I had a shower for both of them. My third child will only be 2 1/2 years younger so I prefer no shower, but I will make a registery for those of my family that want to buy the baby something. Like the type of bottles I will be using, diapers, etc. ( Not big furniture I have all that from 1 st baby), but all of my sil's whom have 2nd babies do this. Just incase someone would like to buy you something but have no idea what you already have, what your going to need, etc.

I personally think it is up to the family and friends of the individual weather of not they want to buy something for the baby (even if it is the 2nd,3rd, or 10th) I don't agree with it being unmannerly, to register for those people who choose to buy your baby something.

I do think though your sil is being a rude B word. I know there was a certain item I wanted when I was preggo with 1st ( an elecric/battery operated wind up swing) my freinds all went together and got me a manually winding swing, I was just as happy with it as I would have been with the other one, I was just greatful my friends thought of me and my new baby.

(((EgHunny)))It was so nice for you to buy her stuff. I am sorry she was not appreciative!! That is just plain ignorant!!
I am so sorry you have to deal with someone like this!! Bless your bro for being able to put up with her too.

I agree..I don't think it is unmannerly to make a registry for a second /third, 6th, or 7th etc. child...It would be rude to demand items from your list, nor do I find anythign wrong with having showers for 2 and 3rd children..things do not always last through 2nd and third children.

[zitra]

Sorry Double post

[guesswho!]

Eghunny, your SIL is who should feel bad...she missed out on some great gifts - there wasn't anything wrong w/what u got her. Just something wrong w/SIL.

A baby registry can be helpful, b/c it lets ppl know which items u really need, so they don't have to wander around the store,guessing. However, w/my 1st I made sure to pick items in VARYING price ranges(less than $10.& on up), so no one would feel they had to spend alot of money. My 2nd child, few ppl gave gifts, but there was no need for a shower.Church friends were kind enough to give me a beautiful baby shower for my 1st & the hostess gift was a Graco swing. I loved that swing & still have it in case we have a 3rd child.(The larger items usually hostesses go in on together,pool their money, so no individual spends too much). What u got by yourself to me is an expensive item ALONE! PLus, the diaper bag, good grief everybody needs at least one & they tear up quickly, so the more the better!! LOL.

M/b SIL'S actually upset over something else in her life & took it out (wrongly) on you??? (Still no excuse).Often when ppl are cruel like that, there's more going on than meets the eye. Her behavior is her problem. Try not to take it on yourself.

[fatesfaery]

I don't think it's wrong to register with your 3rd, 4th or 10th child, I do think it's wrong to go and register for the most expensive things the store carries and then expect others to buy these things for you.

My SIL's daughter had her 1st baby in 2002 . She registered at Babies R Us and made a point of telling my brother and SIL that she only wanted items from a certain line in a certain design, and that she would be returning anything that didn't have that pattern. I think that's rude.

There were over 6 years between my kids, so I needed everything with DD. My MIL's church gave me a shower before Ash was born, the shower my family gave ended up being after she was born because she was early. DH and I bought her baby bed and furniture.

I think that if someone is thoughtful enough and takes the time to buy you a gift, you should be grateful, no matter what the gift is. If it's something that you're not using, return it and get something that you are, but don't be rude and make a scene about it.

[silvermist]

Wow so really RUDE. She doesn't seem to have no manners. I just don't understand like sometimes reading these things on the board on what sisters in laws or what not say to other relatives and it just really astounds me. Like to hear these things actually happen. She must think she's some queen or something. She doesn't sound very classy at all and in fact she probably sounds like the cheap one to me.

[Urban Cowgirl]

I'll call you when I have my next one and you can be an auntie!! LOL I cannot believe how rude she was!!!!! I did register last summer, but only after a few of my friends nagged me to death!!!! Also I got some gifts that were repeats, I acted gracious to everyone and then just discreetly took the repeats back to exchange for something I did not get. I only told people who asked where I registered because I'd rather be surprised!!! Also I bought my DD crib set and picked out Whinnie the Pooh, I received several noah's ark Items. Well we just put pooh on one wall and noah's ark on the other. And you know My DD seems to like the Noah's Ark better!!!! LOL I think when someone receives a gift they should be grateful..

Just wanted to add that the reason I exchanged my repeats was because it was items like a baby monitor ( you know items you cannot use 2 of). Luckily people that gave me duplicates were different showers so they have no idea.

[EgHunny]

Thanks everyone. I don't mind that she made a registry. We are all hoping for a boy, and don't want to have the little guy with girls stuff. I just hope whenever I am ready to have a baby, I don't get this grouchy. LOL And for those that dont have a baby, or another one yet. Look me up when you are :D I would love to help out! :D

[erniemarie]

if I were her I would be grateful to be getting anything at all, I am pregnant with twins and going to be a single mom with no help from father, I don't get to have a baby shower or have lots of friends and relatives buy me gifts, I would be grateful for anything anyone gave to me to help me, I think she is just being greedy because she thinks she can get away with it, if I were you I wouldn't get anything for her either after acting like that

[erniemarie]

Originally posted by EgHunny
Thanks everyone. I don't mind that she made a registry. We are all hoping for a boy, and don't want to have the little guy with girls stuff. I just hope whenever I am ready to have a baby, I don't get this grouchy. LOL And for those that dont have a baby, or another one yet. Look me up when you are :D I would love to help out! :D

well since you said so, want to be an auntie to two sweet little girls;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

[EgHunny]

Sure ernie :D The more family the better ;) I love babies... I just hope to have some someday :D

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

Ok Eghunny...since there will be no babies in my future....wanna be auntie to the Attack Cats? Just kidding!!!

[EgHunny]

Attack cats? hehe Sounds dangerous lol... I have a cat that chases my dog lol... but thats another story lol

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

Where have you been Eghunny?!?! Yesterday I was trying to find feline ritalin because 3 of the Attack Cats kept trying to kill the dogs while the other 2 Attack Cats kept jumping from the ceiling onto the dogs!!! (the dogs BTW are full grown red dobermans!). If you want or need a good laugh, I can post the Attack Cats pics again. Just let me know!!!

[EgHunny]

LOL that is hilarious... I would love to see those pics :D

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

You asked for Eghunny! Keep an eye out in Off Topic for it!!!