Just Hurting

[okie]

My grandmother's sister has put a family website together and we've been posting old family pictures for each other to share.Well,i've been going through alot of pictures i haven't seen in years and of course i've come across a few of my grandfather(he died a few years ago to cancer).I thought i had gotten passed all the hurt but i guess i was wrong.I think i'm going to have to stop looking through these because i can't quit crying.i thought with time things would get easier but these feelings don't go away.I keep thinking of all the things he will miss,like my son who was not born when he died.Neither one of them will ever get to know each other.I live only a few blocks down the street from the cemetery but i have only been a few times because i can't get myself to go.I promised him i would put flowers on his grave every month but i can't handle going there.He and my grandmother raised me so he's like a father more than he is my grandfather.

[fatesfaery]

{{{{{okie}}}}} I was really close to my ggrandmother. She died when I was 13 and I refused to go to the cemetery again until I was in my 20s.
DH'S mother died the week after I found out I was pregnant with DD,I wasn't even going to tell her because she was so sick, but my FIL convinced us we should, she told us that Ash would be a girl, and it's always bothered me that they never got to meet.

All of my grandparents have been dead for years, but I still cry when I go through pictures and things that belonged to them.

[karefree]

I was born late in life to my parents. I was only 18months old when my last grandparent died. My mother told me stories about her childhood and her parents and about as much as she knew about my fathers parents. She told me more than i could have possibly known had we been able to really get to know each other. I feel like I know them. We spent days at the cemetary with picnic lunches when there was maintanence to be done and, to this day, my sister and I try to keep flowers on my grandparents and our parents grave through out the year. It is a very peaceful place to be. The hardest time to go is the first time after a loved ones death. Don't try to stop crying. Cry until you can laugh at some funny things that you shared with your loved one. There are still times I cry but there are so many more times that I talk to my family about the wonderfully funny, loving person that would have showered them with all the love and caring in the world had they been able to be together. i appreciate my mother sharing her memories with me and I want to do the same for the children in our family who never knew those that came before them.

i am so sorry for you losses.

[schsa]

One of my best memories of my life was a year after my favorite aunt died. She had tons of papers and pictures that she had kept over the years. My mom, her sister and her two nieces and I sat in the kitchen, went through box after box of pictures and old letters, papers and just stuff.

We laughed and cried. We read old letters from her brother's during WWII asking for money (in almost each letter so it got to be quite a joke). And we had a wonderful bonding experience. I will always remember that afternoon.